Defying His Charm

by Elizabeth Lennox

  “I have to go!” she told him, not looking at him because she knew that he was waiting for an answer. But she couldn’t give him an answer. She couldn’t reject his proposal! Although, nor could she accept it. She was trapped!

  “I have to go!” she repeated and she didn’t look around. She just raced out of his condo and out the door. She took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, too desperate to get away, to run from Luke.

  She heard his voice call out to her, but she ignored him, needing to get away from him, to protect him.

  The startled look on the front desk clerk’s face would have made her chuckle on any other day. Today, all she wanted to do was run. Run away and hide like the coward that she was!

  Out on the street, she rushed down to Pike’s Place Market and lost herself in the crowds. Wrapping her arms around herself, she walked and walked, her mind unable to form any coherent thought. Everything was too jumbled in her mind. So she walked. She wasn’t aware of the heels that were making her feet ache or the strange looks from the other pedestrians. She passed by her favorite chocolate place and cheese restaurant, not even smelling the flavors as her mind jumbled all of her thoughts together.

  Eventually, she was able to walk far enough that she could start to think. Looking out at the water, she took several deep breaths.

  Okay, so Luke had proposed. He’d also ignored all of the boundaries he’d agreed to at the start of this affair. So, she knew that the man didn’t play by the rules. Was that a good thing?

  Yeah. She sighed and looked down at the edge of the water, the pilings and thick wood planks that kept the ocean tides from flooding the city. She didn’t have those for her heart and Luke had crept up, invaded her heart. She loved him. So much and so deeply! She could admit that to him. But marriage?

  No, she couldn’t do that!

  Although…she looked out, noticed a barge coming into port. Her mother was venturing down the marriage path again. Her mother had lived through the marriage to Naya’s father. Naya had only witnessed the pain that the two had caused for each other. She hadn’t experienced it, lived through it like her mother had. And yet, Naya’s mother was risking her heart again. To her, Jeff was worth the risk.

  Luke was worth the risk.

  Now where had that thought come from?

  She looked around, not sure where she was. She headed back towards the heart of the city, her mind still trying to figure out what to do.

  Luke was supposed to be the “safe” guy. She’d finally given in and ventured into an affair with him because she’d thought he would never settle down!

  And yet, she’d dreamed about being with him forever. She’d dreamed about having a family with him.

  Now, her dream could be a reality and she’d run away from him.

  “Naya!”

  Naya swung around at the sound of Luke’s deep voice. He was standing by the road, his powerful car idling as he glared at her. “Get in the car!”

  She almost smiled at his commanding voice. She loved it when they were in bed together, but she wasn’t a fan of it outside the bedroom. Although, in this case, she knew that they needed to talk. She’d run away like a child and that wasn’t fair to Luke. Not fair to herself either.

  She walked over to his car and got in, cringing when he slammed the door and walked around to the driver’s side. Thankfully, he drove to her cottage. She needed her things, her turf.

  When they were in her house, she walked to the kitchen and started heating water for tea. She didn’t need tea. She needed to feel his arms around her, to feel secure and happy again.

  “You’re still wearing my ring,” he commented as he glared at her from the entryway to the kitchen.

  She turned and looked up at him. He was so incredibly handsome. Even when he was furious with her, he looked like every woman’s dream man. His hands were fisted on his lean hips and his eyes were narrowed, looking at her as if he wanted to shake her.

  “I’m so sorry that I walked out like that.”

  He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his neck, striving for patience and understanding. “Why did you do it?”

  She started pacing back and forth in her tiny kitchen. “I want to marry you,” she admitted, startled by that fact herself.

  There was a long, pregnant pause as both of them absorbed that statement. “Not the best way to show that to me,” he finally replied dryly.

  She nodded, ashamed of her fears but trying to face them. For him. “Yeah. That was pretty bad of me.”

  “Explain to me why you did it.”

  Naya looked down at the floor. “Because I can’t marry you.” There was silence so she continued. “For the past couple of weeks, I’ve had these dreams of beautiful children with dark hair and green eyes. I’ve wanted that dream to be a reality so desperately. But I told myself that you weren’t the kind of man who would settle down with one woman. I told myself that I was safe because of that.”

  He still didn’t understand. It sounded like both of them were looking to the future with the same dream. Of course, he wanted little girls with red curls and beautiful brown eyes. And freckles. Yeah, he loved Naya’s freckles, even though he knew she hated them. “And yet, I do want to be with one woman. You!”

  She smiled at that. “I was actually going to stop this, stop seeing you, because I didn’t think marriage would be in our future. And it hurt too much. I figured out in Savannah that I loved you too much, continuing to be with you.” She shrugged as she looked up into his green eyes. “Well, it would hurt too much when it finally ended.”

  He sighed. “And now that you know that I don’t want it to end?”

  She laughed, shaking her head, ignoring the tears that were blurring her vision. “I can’t marry you,” she whispered.

  Luke looked down into her beautiful features, not sure what she was saying. “Let me get this straight. You were going to dump me because you didn’t think that marriage was a possibility. And now that I’ve proposed, now that I’ve asked you to spend the rest of your life with me, you’re ending our relationship. Does that sum things up accurately?”

  She cringed. “When you say it like that, it makes me sound a bit nuts.”

  He shook his head and moved closer to her, trapping her against the countertop when she tried to skitter away from him again. “Naya, you are nuts. But you’re my kind of nuts. And we’re getting married. You told me that you love me so we’re not backing away from this.”

  Naya loved hearing those words and she laid her forehead on his shoulder. Immediately, his hands dove into her hair and she smiled. “I can’t.”

  He didn’t care what she said now. His ring was on her finger and she was in his arms. She could say whatever the hell she wanted to say as long as he could hold her like this. It wasn’t changing his plans. She would be his wife and he would prove that they could make it. Every day, he would prove that they could work things out. “What are you afraid of, Naya?”

  She breathed in his male scent, knowing that she would have to live without it for so long! “I can’t get married. We’ll fight. We’ll argue about everything and…”

  “We’re not your parents, Naya,” he argued firmly. “We spend most of our time together already and we don’t fight.”

  “We argue.”

  “We debate issues.” He pulled her hair, forcing her to look up at him. “And we have a good time doing it.”

  She thought about that for a long moment, remembering the last time they’d fought. And how they’d finally agreed. And then how they’d made up. The memory caused a smile to form on her pale features. For the first time since she’d decided to break up with him, she felt a small kernel of hope form inside of her. “We do, don’t we?”

  “Yes. And I know we’ll argue about things in the future. You’re a crazy woman and you’re going to have ridiculous ideas.”

  She should take offense at that description, but she didn’t think he really believed it. “And you’re an arrogant man wh
o tries to boss me around.”

  He bent lower and kissed her. “Only when you’re trying to be shy in bed,” he corrected.

  She realized that he was right and couldn’t stop the burst of laughter or the blush. “You’re a horrible man,” she told him.

  “Yeah, but you love me.”

  She wrapped her arms around his lean waist. “I do. But I still don’t want to marry you.”

  He shrugged one of his massive shoulders. “You don’t have a choice.”

  She chuckled. “I don’t, huh?”

  Shaking his head, he slid his hands underneath her sweater. “Not at all. We’re getting married. I’ll hire a wedding coordinator to pull things together. All you need to do is decide on a dress and show up.”

  Naya laughed. “Isn’t that what the bride is supposed to say to the groom?”

  “Yes. Which only proves that you’re wrong and you need to dive into this whole marriage business.”

  She sobered with his words, her stomach tightening as insecurities popped up in her mind. “Couldn’t we just…keep going like we’ve been doing?”

  He pulled her closer. “No. I want to know that you’re my woman. I want to announce it to everyone. You keep trying to put up boundaries.”

  She snorted at that. “You ignored all of my boundaries from the very beginning, by the way,” she interrupted.

  He smiled, completely unrepentant. “And I’m going to tear down all of your other boundaries too, so you’ve been warned.”

  She buried her face against his chest, trying not to say it because she didn’t want to say it but… “I don’t have any except for no marriage.”

  His arms tightened around her. “There will be a marriage. And you’re going to love it.”

  She shivered. “I don’t want to get married.”

  “Yes, you do,” he countered and kissed her. “You just don’t want a bad marriage. So, we’ll make sure it isn’t a bad marriage. Okay?”

  She looked up into his eyes. “How can we do that?”

  His hands tilted her head so that he could kiss her. “Tell me about your parents’ marriage.”

  She took his hand and led him over to her tiny, flowered sofa. She loved it when he sat on this couch. He looked so huge and masculine among the flowers. It was such an odd contrast. And she knew that he hated the couch, grumbling every time he had to sit there.

  Sure enough, he realized where she was leading him and groused about the move. “You know this couch is not entering our house, right?” he grouched.

  Naya almost laughed. “I love this couch.”

  He sat down, pulling her onto his lap. “You love torturing me with this couch,” he corrected, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against his chest. “Now talk.”

  Naya wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling comfortable and secure once again. “My parents argued about everything.”

  “What kinds of things?”

  “Breakfast, decorating, money, grocery shopping, who should be cooking, who had the more important meeting any time I was sick or out of school.” She sighed and looked up at the ceiling, remembering all of the fighting. “They slept in separate rooms too,” she told him, surprised that she hadn’t remembered that until this moment. “It wasn’t just when they were arguing.”

  “Why did they get married?” he asked, but he suspected he already knew the answer.

  Naya had asked that question many times over the years, but hadn’t known the answer until this past weekend. “They’d met in college. She got pregnant. He married her. Arguments started.”

  He grunted and she felt his hand slip along her thigh. “So, your parents never really loved each other. They married because of you and what they thought was the right thing to do.”

  She’d heard those words from her mother just this past weekend, but Naya hadn’t analyzed them until this moment. “Yes. I suppose you’re right.”

  “You know I’m right.” He squeezed her. “You love me. We’re getting married.”

  “And you love me, right?” she asked.

  He tilted her so that she was on her back, his big body looming over her. “Damn straight, I love you!” he agreed and emphasized his statement with a kiss. “I love your gorgeous hair, your alluring freckles, and your sexy body, I love the way you stand up for yourself and try to put barriers around yourself.”

  She smiled when she felt his hand slip under her shirt. “Which you knock down or ignore.”

  “Which I love to knock down because you don’t need any barriers from me, Naya. I won’t hurt you.”

  “We’ll argue.”

  “Yes,” he told her softly. “We’ll argue because you are a strong, intelligent woman with opinions of your own.”

  “And you’re an arrogant, obnoxious man who is brilliant and sexy and wonderful,” she said, ending with a breathless voice since he shifted against her and she could feel how her words were affecting him.

  “We’re engaged, Naya,” he told her, and kissed her so that she couldn’t argue. A moment later, he carried her into her bedroom and had his wicked way with her, making sure she couldn’t argue about being engaged, or anything else, for a long time.

  Epilogue

  “You are being a pain in the butt, Luke!” she told him, her teeth grinding together as she glared up at him.

  “And you’re just being stubborn!” he came right back. “You know I’m right!”

  She shook her head, her heart pounding in her chest with both fear and fury. “I’m not!”

  He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his massive chest. “If you’re so sure, then find out! Prove me wrong.”

  Naya shook her head. “No. I know I’m right. You’ll just have to accept my answer.”

  Luke realized she was terrified more than angry, and that terror was causing her to dig her heels in.

  He switched tactics.

  They were standing in the kitchen of their house, the huge windows looking out over Puget Sound. Yesterday was their third anniversary and it had been the most incredible three years of his life. “You know I love you, right?” he started off.

  Naya pulled back, instantly wary of this new tone of voice. “We’re fighting. Don’t change the subject.”

  He laughed and she ground her teeth with frustration.

  “We have a difference of opinion about how to answer the question. This isn’t an argument.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re trying to steamroll me, Luke.”

  He shook his head and moved closer to her, careful not to move too quickly, because she would bolt. After three years of marriage, he knew how she worked. She didn’t like to argue with him, so she walked away when she was angry, not wanting to say anything to hurt his feelings.

  When she had calmed down, only then would she approach him to talk about whatever was bothering her.

  Damn, he loved this woman! He loved her more every day. She was smart, ambitious, sexy, and…hopefully….

  “I need a cup of coffee,” he announced.

  Naya blinked at his statement. Then swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Coffee?” she asked, her voice weak and her hands dropping from the stubborn stance she’d been trying to maintain. Instead, they dangled around her hips and she tried very hard to keep them from fluttering around her stomach. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working. Just the thought of coffee, the smell, made her sick.

  “Don’t…” she begged, backing up from the kitchen, a room she loved. It was big and airy, and was often filled with laughter and good-hearted arguments. Sometimes between herself and Luke, and sometimes with all of his brothers when they came over with their families for a cookout or game days. She loved every moment, all of it. She loved listening to the four enormous men taunt each other and she loved standing off to the side with their wives as the four of them looked on, wagering on what would happen next. The past three years had been the happiest of her life!

  Now, he wanted to change that!

  He knew wh
at he was doing to her! The rat! He knew it and he wasn’t backing down!

  “Take the test, or I’m brewing French roast.”

  She gasped, her face paling with the threat. “You wouldn’t!”

  “I would,” he returned immediately.

  He would! She knew that he would. Her shoulders sagged in defeat. “I can’t.”

  Luke saw the fear and moved over to her. Normally, he would simply toss her over his shoulder and carry her off to their bedroom to make love to her. Or he might just lay her out on the kitchen table and make love to her there. He wasn’t particular about where. In fact, just about every room in their house had seen their passion in one way or another.

  Unfortunately, making love to her right now wouldn’t get the job done. He’d tried that tactic for the past week and she was still being stubborn. Still denying the truth.

  “Just do it,” he coaxed, wrapping his arms around her. “No matter what, it will be okay.”

  Naya buried her face against his chest. “It won’t be okay. Everything will change.”

  Ah! He finally understood what was bothering her. “What will change?”

  But he knew. Her parents had gotten married because of a pregnancy. Seven months after their wedding, Naya had come into the world and the arguing had started. He should have realized that this was her concern. He’d practically had to drag her to the church before their wedding.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked.

  “Of course!” she answered immediately.

  “Then you know that, no matter what, we’ll get through this. It will be okay.”

  She sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist more tightly. “How? How will it be okay?”

  He smiled but she couldn’t see his expression. “Because I love you. And you love me. And no matter what, that’s not going to change.”

  If he’d said anything else, she would have dismissed the words. But their love was really the one thing in this world she never doubted. Naya sighed, defeated. “Fine.”