by Susan Reid
“I’m the succor here. She’ll be fine. Bye.” Ilka further insisted as she gently closed the door in his face.
I felt relief once she did but now I was really both nervous and wary.
She chuckled, shaking her head, “He’s something else isn’t he? Anyhow, I’m Ilka. Why don’t you go ahead and lie down up there and just relax,” She pointed to the slab examination table, “This shouldn’t take long. You look fine to me.”
She crossed back over to a water basin at the other end of the wooden work table.
I sighed softly as I slowly walked up the small set of steps onto the platform surrounding the slab, and then slowly turned with my back to it.
I reluctantly sat down already feeling uncomfortable.
“Oh and go ahead and remove your jacket for me too, please.” She added.
She was gingerly washing her hands in a basin and I took my time slipping out of the jacket
“Sorry, I may be a little offensive. They didn’t give me a chance to bathe or change let alone breathe since I’ve been back.” I told her.
She laughed, “So I’ve heard. No need to apologize for that. Congratulations on making it back safely. You have my undying gratitude and respect for what you did to save a fellow warrior. Returning on your own, especially as a brand new warrior, is not something that we’re used to seeing, which is why we’re all even more adamant in making sure that you’re okay— both physically and metaphysically. That’s mainly what we succors do, by the way. We affirm that your energies, both spiritual and mental, are aligned and still positive. We also use touch to search and heal all sorts of internal damage that may not be visible to the eye or healing well on their own.” She quickly dried her hands on a towel and then walked back over to me.
“Succors possess stronger healing energies than that of regular warriors and we transmit that extra power unto the injured, that’s all.” She assured me with a pleasant smile to ease my obvious apprehension.
“I’m not injured.” I said flatly.
She looked me over in a brief flash. Her level of intelligence didn’t match what she looked like to me. She reminded me of the girl in my photo album, China. I instantly felt a connection to that aspect of her.
“I believe you. However, some things can manifest later and begin to cause ailments, so this is more of a precaution.” She smiled again.
“Are you going to use magic?” I asked.
She shook her head, “No, no magic. It’s a healing talent. So tell me, how are you feeling right now?”
Her teal colored eyes observed me closely. Though she appeared to be simply glancing over me, I could literally feel that she was doing much more than that. There was a definite warmth that gently caressed my skin. Was she literally x-raying me with her eyes?
“I’m fine. Never better.”
She gave me a customary nod. “I’m sure you are but your aura speaks differently. Why don’t you lie back and just relax. I want to check a few things.” She urged.
“Spencer didn’t fill you in?” I finally gave in, swinging my legs up and over onto the slab to recline flat on my back.
The sooner I cooperated, the sooner I could get out of here and plot Spencer’s severe ass kicking from the privacy of my room.
“I’d rather hear it from you. Just keep looking straight up.” She instructed.
She held a golf ball-sized, clear crystal or quartz in front of my eye. A milky white substance swirled slowly around inside of it and then it began to glow softly. Ilka studied my eye carefully.
“What’s that for?” I asked.
“It can detect signs of change within your body. The eyes are the windows into the mind and soul after all.” She smiled.
The crystal maintained its soft, milky white glow, shifting into a slight bluish hue in its center by the time she was finished. I found it mesmerizing. Apparently not seeing anything unusual in the first one, she did the same to my other eye.
“All clear?” I finally asked after a few minutes.
She nodded. “All clear.” She affirmed and then slipped the crystal into the pocket of her kimono shirt.
That was a relief, though part of me wondered that if Cam’s essence was still lingering in me, how would it show itself other than tainting my aura?
Ilka began softly stroking her fingers through the curls in my tangled hair. Her fingertips softly began to graze my scalp and I instantly fell into a state of relaxation that left me feeling weightless. My lids began to flutter, feeling heavier with each passing second.
Was she trying to put me to sleep? Or was I finally succumbing to everything that’s happened up to this point and my intense love-making with Cam? Speaking of, he’s been silent since we last spoke. I hoped that meant that he would stay away from the vicinity of the hall until I filled him in on what was happening.
I reverted back to her original question of wanting to know what happened to me in my own words, assuming she was politely still waiting for my response.
“When I tried to save Jamie, the fallen dropped her and held onto me instead. Then…she eventually dropped me. Next thing I know, I blacked out. I was able to return because I still had some portal gems on me.” I continued on, reconstructing the events carefully.
“Dropped you? And you survived the fall?” She was impressed.
“She didn’t get that high up.” I quickly added, already feeling guilty for telling that lie.
“Ah, I see. Well, thank goodness for that. I hear hallowed fire saved your life too. I’m honored to provide aid to one who is gifted with such an incredible power.” She said softly.
Her hands were gentle and soft as she examined my neck. She gingerly pressed on several pressure points that immediately took away all of the knots and kinks. Wow, the touch of a succor was like the hands of a magical masseur.
Her hand then went to gently rest over my heart.
“So far, so good.” She said. I guessed that she was either listening or counting heartbeats. She was right though, I felt remarkably soothed and much better than when I first arrived.
“Did you run into trouble at all? With any dark being?” She then asked.
My pulse began to beat rapidly. She was still holding a hand over my heart. I think she was trying to gauge my reaction to her questions while she worked.
I shifted slightly and sighed to play off the sudden acceleration of my erratically thumping heartbeat.
“None that I wasn’t able to defend myself against.” I answered simply.
“Hmm. Spencer said he was told that you arrived through the portal pretty banged up, with a dislocated shoulder and broken arm.”
I sighed and nodded.
Her hands went to examine and stroke my shoulders, elbows, forearms, and then my brandings. She took a moment to admire them.
“Well, you’re right. You seem absolutely fine to me so far,” She then chewed her lip as her hand traveled to my torso, pressing gently to spread the healing warmth emanating from her hands and fingers deep into my tissues and muscles.
Her hands continued to slide further, taking care to barely touch and apply a small amount of pressure to specific areas that made me flinch a bit. I was very aware of the powerful yet soothing energy coming from her palms and fingertips.
A sudden vibrating shock made us both gasp simultaneously and I automatically jack-knifed upwards into a sitting position. A faint, tickling spasm flitted inside of my abdomen as I recovered from the strange reaction. The look on Ilka’s face worried me.
She gaped, transfixed on my abdomen and unable to meet my eyes.
“What happened? What was that?” I asked first.
Her eyes were as wide as saucers and she rubbed her fingertips together slowly.
Had I hurt her? What the hell had I felt inside of me?
She slowly shook her head, finally snapping out of her momentary stunned lapse and looked at me. “I’m…I’m not sure.” She said as she swallowed hard. “Lay back. I’m going to try again.” She
said.
“Try what again? What did you do?”
“Nothing that I haven’t been doing. I need to be sure though so please, lie back down.”
There was a knock at the door.
“Is everything okay in there?”
It was Spencer. No doubt, he had picked up on the sudden change in both of our bio-rhythms just now.
Ilka shook her head and sighed, frustrated that Spencer was even still around.
“Everything is fine, Spencer. If I need you I’ll get you, okay?” She called out.
Though he didn’t reply, she was sure that he was still lingering.
“That means that I don’t need you hanging out by the door either. Go bother Rubie!” She called out to him.
After another moment, we finally heard Spencer retreat. He was really getting on my nerves now.
Ilka turned her eyes back to me. There was a serious edge in them this time.
“Starling,” She was whispering now and I wondered why.
“When you came to, did you feel different in any way?” She then asked me.
My heartbeat began to pick up speed again and I didn’t care if Spencer could sense it or not.
“Different in what way? Of course I felt different. I was knocked unconscious.” I told her.
She knew something. Something that she wasn’t telling me but she didn’t have to. I already knew what that something was.
Cam’s essence clung to me like another layer of flesh that wasn’t my own.
She shook her head, “That’s not what I meant. I need to check again just to be certain.” She said as she forced me to lie back once again.
I wanted to resist because she was making me even more nervous but I knew that if I continued to act suspicious, she’d probably figure it out.
I acquiesced as she rubbed her slender, soft hands together first and then closed her eyes as if concentrating. Her hands hovered over my abdomen briefly and then she slowly lowered them.
There! The tickling zap responded immediately at her touch and we both gasped once again. I was more surprised because it confirmed the first strange spasm that I felt, and that meant that there was truly something going on inside of me.
Was it the source of darkness that was tainting my aura?
I began to worry.
Ilka’s expression conveyed deep concern. Then her eyes went from mine, to my lower belly, and then to the door.
Great. She found my affliction and now she was either going to announce it to Spencer and the other two seraphim, or she was debating it and thinking of going straight to the elders.
She briskly walked to the door, opened it and peered out to scan each end of the small corridor, then she closed…and locked it this time.
Now she was freaking me out.
“What’s going on, Ilka?” I sat up and asked her.
No more examinations.
She put a hand to her mouth, pinching her lips together with her index finger and thumb and her other was hand fisted at her hip. Finally, she took in a brief inhalation of breath, “Starling, I’m going to say something that I want you to remain calm about because it can be fixed, understand?” She then said softly.
Calm? Fixed? So something was wrong after all! What would I flip out about? Maybe an accusation? An accusation that was true. My heart was in my throat now.
I nodded once. I couldn’t lie about anything else. I didn’t want to.
I wanted to call out to Cam but that would only make him angrier about what was happening to me, and then he’d do something that could end up getting himself hurt or killed as well as many other divine warriors in defense against him.
I swallowed, remaining silent in my anxious dread to await her question.
She paced for a moment, looking down at the floor as if thinking hard about how to phrase her words, which worried me even more.
Finally, she looked up at me and spoke, “I think that…I mean, I know that—you’ve been sexually assaulted.”
My eyes nearly popped out of my skull. I felt nauseous and light-headed. There was no way that she could miss the burning red hue that was giving away my obvious reaction to her diagnosis.
Assaulted though? I supposed that would be the natural assumption.
She nodded. A fearful and sympathetic look was present in her eyes.
“How…w…would you…” I couldn’t form any words even though I knew what I wanted to say. How was she able to tell?
I expected her to tell me that she was sensing Cam’s essence in me. I expected her to tell me that she knew my story wasn’t adding up to an extent. I expected her to confirm that what Spencer sensed about the black that had become fused with my aura had been accurate. I even expected her to have to report it to Sean, Diana, and all of the elders.
It wasn’t as if I’d have no place to go. I would be with Cam or back in the city of Indianapolis, like what it had said on my drivers’ license. Or I could settle in any place that I wanted to. Either way, it would have to be someplace isolated. However, I would no longer be considered a divine warrior, maybe just a warrior, if that. Would I become an enemy to everyone here then? I didn’t know what to expect.
“Because there’s definitely another life force emanating from inside of you. You aren’t open to possession as a divine warrior, which leads me to conclude that—you’re pregnant.” She finally whispered as if it were a deadly taboo statement.
Her words echoed in my ears, not really making sense to me right away. I could feel myself growing tingly and numb all over as my body swayed, threatening to topple over.
I did not expect her to tell me that.
Words were forming in my head and my mouth was moving but nothing coherently vocal came out.
“We’ve never had to deal with something like this before but we might just be able to.” Ilka said, briskly walking over to the large wall of cubby shelves and perusing what was contained in the glass jars.
I slowly brought my hand to my abdomen, resting it there to further take in the revelation.
I’m pregnant? How could it be detected already anyway? My thoughts repeated themselves over and over. I’m pregnant with Cam’s child.
There’s a life in me right now.
What kind of a child would it be? Cam was a supernatural being. Who was it going to look like? What was it going to be? More importantly, how was I going to both hide it and continue my physical training as a warrior?
Maybe that would no longer be an option that I’d have to worry about.
Ilka spoke to me over her shoulder, “I’m not sure how this will work. This is a first for me so I may need to seek additional counsel…”
“No.” I suddenly blurted out, almost mechanically.
Ilka was silent and still for a brief moment. Then the sound of her soft footsteps slowly began to approach me. When she stood in front of me, her eyes appeared confused as she searched my face for understanding.
“What do you mean?” She breathed.
“I mean, I don’t want to get rid of it.” I then said softly.
My mind was still struggling to accept the possibility. Does Cam know? Of course he doesn’t. How would he take the news? Would he be just as dazed and stunned as I am?
Ilka’s expression turned into surprise and then softened with understanding. She sighed.
“Starling, I understand why you feel apprehensive, believe me. It is a life and it’s a part of you too but it was brought about by something that should have never happened. A dark being took advantage of your defenseless state. It wasn’t your fault.” She said with a consoling hand on my shoulder.
I closed my eyes at her words and bit my lip to choke back the tears that began to blur my eyes.
“I won’t speak of this once it’s done if you wish. I understand your fear of what it would mean to the others if they knew.” She then said.
I sniffed, swallowing the dry lump in my throat and turning my eyes down to look at the floor, so I wouldn’t have to look at her
when I clarified my response. “It didn’t happen…while I was unconscious.”
Ilka was speechless at first.
“You were beguiled when it happened then, right?” She then assumed. When I slowly shook my head no, it looked as if she were going to faint this time.
IV: Cam`ael
Dusk was approaching, spreading like spilled dark violet and royal blue ink across a cloudless sky that was now littered with millions of stars and galaxies above. The moon was a pale pink, casting a rosy hue over the tops of the now dark trees; filtering through the cloudbank below the mountain, and spreading sparkles of pink light across the soft rippling surface of the Eternal waters in the far distance.
Even Morning Star’s domain seemed obscenely quiet and peaceful for a change, though that didn’t mean that nothing sinister was going on over there either. A line of black crows shot upwards from the stone forest, instantly making me wield my sword and ready to infuse it with light. The flock arced upwards, forming a ‘V’ that hovered for a few seconds, before flying back into the direction of the desert lands.
It was hard to tell if they were truly just birds or if they were a part of the whole demon named Xyn. I had forgotten about him for a moment and seeing the crows reminded me that Edanai was out there somewhere on her own. Even with Rahab not far behind her, I was still worried about them.
I hadn’t heard a word from Starling since her non-reassuring reply of, “Nothing yet.”
It took every bit of my self-control to remain silent and maintain patience, knowing that I had no other choice as long as she was behind the walls of the hall. Yes, I was glad that Aliks and Aon assured me that she would be able to return to the hall but at what cost? I was going stir crazy inside of my own maddening rage. It threatened to boil over into destructive and out of control, and dark, wild lust began to weave and work its way through me on top of everything else.
I needed Starling again but not just to satiate my lust. Dark lust needed to be released in a dark manner, through use of power, fighting, or doing something malicious. I hated it. I felt the need to cut myself again in order to get some relief but I didn’t want to go back to that habit and place again.