Silenced

by Leddy Harper

  They looked at each other, speaking without words. It was that kind of communication I used to have with Rylee, and I prayed to God we still had it. Being apart from her for months, not having much contact with her, left me unsure. Yet hopeful.

  “How exactly do you plan to support her? Financially? And I know you’re fixing up that big house down the street, but how are you affording it?” They were logical questions, especially coming from a father.

  “I have a job, sir. Once the house is finished, I will be going to work for a construction company here in town. They’ve already hired me, but they’re giving me the time to get settled in with the house and everything. Their crew is actually helping me a lot. In the meantime, I have money in the bank. You don’t have anything to worry about when it comes to the finances. I was an only child, so my parents’ estate went solely to me. They’d set up a trust that I’ve had access to since I was eighteen. When I turn twenty-five, I’ll have complete access to it all. But I don’t plan to use it for more than needed—such as the house. Everything else will come from hard work. I won’t let you down. I promise.”

  Finally, they both took a step back to offer me space to enter the house. “She’s in her room. Let me go get her for you,” Rylee’s mom said with a soft yet shaky tone.

  “If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to her.”

  When she nodded her approval, I had to slow my movements to keep me from bolting through the house. I needed to get to her. It’d been too damn long. When I made it to her bedroom door, I had to control my knock, because I was ready to beat it down. Patience was never my strong suit. Half a second later, I invited myself in, not at all waiting for an invitation, and found Rylee in a state of undress. I quickly stepped inside and closed the door, twisting the lock on the knob behind me.

  “Killian…what are you doing here?” She held a T-shirt over her chest and stood in nothing but a pair of underwear. She was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. In fact, I couldn’t do anything until she repeated herself, asking me why I was there.

  I didn’t bother answering her, only crossed the room until I was in front of her with my hand on her small, slightly rounded belly. Then I held her by the back of the neck and brought my lips to hers. It was the softest kiss I could manage with her being half naked in my arms, her body pressed against mine.

  When it ended, I held her hips and gazed into her eyes. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

  “I have work, why?”

  “Cancel your appointments. Or reschedule them. Have a sick day or something.”

  “Why?” she asked again, more cautious this time.

  I smiled as my heart sped up, each beat trying to break through my chest to get to her. “Because we’re getting married. Tomorrow. We’ll get a license and then go to the courthouse. I can’t wait another day to make you my wife.”

  She giggled and lowered her head. “Aren’t you supposed to ask?”

  “Maybe, but that would be a waste of words. Although…” I sealed my lips over hers once more and leaned into her, pushing her down onto the bed. “If you want me on bended knee…” I took the shirt from her hand and dropped it to the floor. Then I hooked my fingers beneath the elastic band of her underwear and pulled them down her legs while she lifted off the mattress just enough to get them over her hips. Finally, I bent down on one knee, between her legs. “Rylee Scott Anderson, I’ve loved you for what seems like my whole life.”

  “Killian,” she said with a sniffle.

  But I interrupted to finish my thought. “I didn’t exist until I met you.” I kissed a path from her knee, up her inner thigh, until I reached her core, already glistening and ready for me. “I can’t lose you. Not ever. You’re my home, Rylee.”

  I ran my tongue through her folds and she dropped back onto her elbows.

  “Keep your eyes on me.” I licked her again, my focus solely on her. “Don’t look away.” And then I covered her pussy with my mouth, kissing her the way I would her lips, before pulling away and slowly raising myself over her on the bed.

  With a slight adjustment, I shifted her up the mattress, giving me enough room to kneel on the edge between her legs. My lips on her skin. Her taste on my tongue. “You’re my better half. My best half. The greatest part of my life.” I met her eyes and held her gaze while I freed myself from my shorts. “Looking at you, I see my whole life. Marry me.”

  I pushed into her.

  She arched her back.

  But she kept her eyes on me.

  “Say yes,” I said with a gentle thrust.

  “Yes.” It was one word—the best word I’d ever heard—wrapped in air.

  “Say you’ll marry me.”

  “Yes, Killian. I will marry you.”

  “Tomorrow,” I prodded.

  “Yes. Tomorrow,” she repeated.

  I covered her mouth with mine and pushed all the way into her until my pelvis met hers. I trailed kisses down her cheek, pausing to lick the edge of her ear, and whispered, “Now, I need you to be quiet so your parents don’t hear us.” Then I rested my face in the warm space between her neck and shoulder. My favorite place in the world.

  I eased out before carefully sliding back in.

  Over and over again.

  Until she was breathless.

  Until I was complete.

  Rylee slept in my arms all night. It was strange being in her bed, in her parents’ house, and waking up with sun. I had to constantly remind myself it was okay, I would not have to climb out the window this time. Ryan and Holly had talked about it, and they offered for us to stay there instead of a hotel. Their decision probably had more to do with us getting married so soon, and less to do with hospitality, but I wasn’t about to argue.

  From now until the house was in livable conditions, we’d be staying in their home. Sleeping in her old bedroom, on her old bed, and showering in her old bathroom—together, after Ryan and Holly left the house or went to sleep.

  “What are we doing?” Rylee asked when I parked in front of the jewelry store. I made sure to get there as soon as they opened, which meant we woke up early. I didn’t want to waste another second, although I didn’t exactly want to leave the bed, either.

  “Did you not want rings?” I stepped out of the Jeep and waited for her around the front.

  “You’re going to buy my ring in front of me?”

  I smirked and opened the door for her to enter first. “No. I already have yours. We’re here so you can pick out mine.” I handed the salesman who approached us my credit card and said, “She can pick out any ring she wants.”

  They sized my finger and then I kissed her forehead before walking out.

  Less than ten minutes later, Rylee got in the Jeep with a smile on her face.

  That smile remained until we got to the Clerk of Courts office.

  “Hey,” she said and grabbed my arm to keep me from getting out of the car. “I found out something yesterday, and I wanted to talk to you about it.” She waited for me to nod, giving her permission to continue before speaking again. “What do you do on Mondays?”

  I shrugged and hoped she wouldn’t notice how her question worried me. “I work on the house and go to the gym. Why?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about the work you do with the kids?”

  I swallowed and focused on my hands around the steering wheel. “I don’t do it to get brownie points, Rylee.” I glanced at her seated next to me. “I do it because they need to see someone who understands them. I’m not there because I have to be, or because I have some fancy college degree. I’m there because I was them—I am them. They need to know vengeance isn’t okay. Anger and resentment only feeds more anger and more resentment until there’s nothing left. And they need to hear it from someone who’s been in their shoes.”

  “I really wish you had told me.”

  “Why? What difference would it have made? I didn’t do it for you or to win you back.”

  “I know
…but it’s a helpful reminder of why I love you. There were days I needed that. Nights I couldn’t sleep because I didn’t know what the next day would bring. I had started to believe you weren’t the same person, so knowing that would’ve reminded me you were. You are.”

  “I got lost for a bit. But you found me. You were always right there in front of me the whole time. I was just too blinded by rage. Too stuck in my own nightmare to see you. But you never stopped seeing me, and I think that helped me find my way back sooner.”

  “I’m just glad you did.”

  “I’m glad I did, too.”

  Thirty-Three

  Rylee

  My hands shook inside Killian’s large palms.

  We stood in the courthouse, in front of an officiant, facing one another. Ready to take on the world together. To vow to love each other for the rest of our lives. There shouldn’t have been any nerves, yet I seemed to be full of them.

  However, they weren’t born from fear.

  They were derived from excitement.

  After all this time, everything we’d been through, I couldn’t believe we were standing here together. Ready to take this next step. I’d prayed and hoped and dreamed of this day for so long. Although I never expected to be in a courthouse. I’d always imagined I’d be in a church, standing in front of hundreds of family and friends in a white dress with flowers. The whole dream wedding every girl plans from the time they’re young.

  But here I was.

  In a long skirt, plain white maternity top, and a sweater.

  Because Killian didn’t want hundreds of people to look at me when I became his wife. He wanted it to be just the two of us. No one else. He wanted to be the only one watching me when he took me as his. And when I took him as mine. I’d agreed because…it made sense. It was always just us, so our future should’ve begun the same way. Not to mention, he promised I’d have my wedding if it was really what I wanted. After this.

  Killian wore dark jeans and a button-down shirt. He didn’t appear nervous at all. In fact, he held an air of confidence that settled and calmed me. After we got our marriage license, Killian drove as fast as he legally could, holding my hand between us, and offering side glances all the way to the courthouse. My parents and Elise, as well as her husband, met us there to serve as our witnesses. Killian didn’t want anyone there, but relented when I informed him we needed someone to stand by our sides.

  “Do you have your own vows?” the man beside us asked.

  I was ready to answer him, tell him we did not, but Killian smiled and gave a different answer. “Yes, I’ve prepared something to say.”

  “Really? When did you do that?” I asked in a whispered voice.

  His smile said it all. “I’ve known practically my whole life what I would say to you on the day you became my wife.”

  “Very well. You may proceed.” The officiant held out his hand to instruct Killian to begin.

  With his hands holding mine, his gaze steadied on my eyes, he started the speech he’d prepared long ago. “My dad always told me you can salt food and hide clutter in a closet. He said finding a woman who could cook and clean wasn’t important. I needed to find a woman who would love me to the end of days, support me like a rock, and treat me with the respect I deserved. He told me I needed a woman who would be my best friend, my soul mate, my shoulder when I needed one. My mom told me I needed to be a man. A man a woman like that deserved, because it was more than just finding love. It was about being in love.

  “You, Rylee, are that person. You are my best friend. Always have been. You’ve been my rock, my shoulder, and you’ve loved me more than I ever thought possible. You take me as I am, yet you don’t let me wander down the wrong path. You keep me good. Because you are my good. You’re everything good in my life.”

  He licked his lips and blinked when his eyes started to mist.

  “So as I stand here right now, I promise to love you through all the tomorrows. I promise to love you until the moon stops lighting the night, until the stars stop leading the way…long after my last breath. I promise to be the man you deserve every day of your life. I’ll never stop loving you, Rylee. Never.”

  When his pause was longer than a simple break, the officiant turned to me.

  I cleared my throat and glanced around the room. But Killian squeezed my hand and forced me to look back at him. “I don’t have anything prepared. I didn’t know we were doing our own vows.”

  “It’s okay. Speak from your heart. That’s all I did.”

  A calmness settled over me when I gazed into his eyes. The color of pistachios. And then I opened my mouth to let whatever I felt come out into words. “I’ve always known it was you. Not once, not one single day have I doubted my love for you or yours for me. Even in your absence, my love never wavered. It never weakened or broke. It was the one thing that got me through each day. My heart continued to beat in my chest, and that’s how I knew you still loved me. That’s how I was able to carry on, and wait until the day we made it back to each other.

  “You’ve always talked about the moon. It’s always been your thing. You used to say you wanted to steal it from the sky and freeze time. But I think that was our past. I believe our future belongs to the sun. To grow, nourish, warm us. We deserve to flourish beneath the rays, in the open, for all to see. We no longer need to hide in the night, but dance in the day. So as I stand here, I vow to love you until the sun no longer rises in the east and sets in the west. I promise to love you until it stops burning in the sky. Until there is no more day or night. And even then…I’ll still love you.”

  Killian didn’t wait to be prompted before kissing me. He held my face in his hands and brought our lips together. It was instinctual. Perfect. His thoughts, feelings, and impulses all wrapped up in that one kiss.

  When the officiant cleared his throat, we finally parted and giggled with the excitement of teenagers. “Do you, Rylee, take Killian to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold through sickness and health? For richer or poorer until your dying breath?”

  My heart pounded against my sternum. “I do.”

  He asked Killian the same question, to which he answered, “I do.”

  “And now for the rings.” He waited for us to nod before continuing. “Killian, please place the ring on Rylee’s finger and repeat after me.”

  Killian pulled out a plain gold band attached to a single solitaire diamond ring. I gasped, having never seen it before, and wondered when he would’ve gotten something that brilliant, that perfect. “It was my mother’s,” he answered in a hushed tone. “I got it when I turned eighteen and it’s belonged on your finger ever since.”

  He pushed the rings over my knuckle and repeated after the officiant.

  “With this ring, I thee wed.”

  And then it was my turn.

  I pulled the brushed titanium band from my pocket and slid it over his finger. I knew it belonged to him the moment I spotted it. Along the circumference, etched into the metal, were starbursts, representing the rays of the sun we would grow under.

  “With this ring, I thee wed.”

  “By the powers vested in me by the state of Tennessee, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your—”

  Killian didn’t wait until the words were spoken before lacing his fingers in my hair and pulling my face to his. He took my mouth with fervor, obviously not caring about the people standing around. My parents. His aunt. The others waiting their turn. None of it mattered. It was as though we were the only two in the room.

  In the courthouse.

  In the world.

  Just us.

  No one else.

  Epilogue

  Killian

  I sat on the edge of the bed with my sketchbook in my lap, a charcoal pencil in my hand. The grey image in front of me didn’t compare to the real thing, but I had to get it out. I had to mark this moment, watching my son sleep in the arms of his mother. Watching my wife hold the best part of me.


  “We have to come up with a name, Killian. We can’t call him ‘him’ forever.”

  For months during the pregnancy, we’d tossed around ideas, but nothing ever felt right. Rylee had suggested naming him after my father, but I didn’t care for that idea. I believed he needed his own name. I didn’t want my son coming into this world with expectations he’d have to live up to. I wanted something strong, something uniquely him. So we ended up agreeing to wait until he was born. To look into his tiny face. We thought we’d just know once we saw him.

  Well, we saw him.

  And we still didn’t know.

  “Nothing feels right,” I said while continuing to draw the two loves of my life.

  “We can use our middle names. Scott Owen or Owen Scott. Or we can mix our names like my parents did with mine. Rylan.” She ran the tip of her finger over his face and smiled at the way his nose scrunched up.

  As I sat there and watched it all, watched the way she was with him, I couldn’t help but think about her vows. She was right. All my life, it’d always been about the night. But Rylee gave me the day. She gave me the sun, the warmth. She was my brightness. And now she’d given me a son.

  “Blaise.” The name rolled off my tongue while I stared at my son in my wife’s arms.

  She glanced at his sleeping face and smiled. “I think that’s perfect. Blaise Foster. But what about a middle name?”

  I couldn’t hold back my grin. “I like your idea of mixing our names. Rylan. He can be Blaise Rylan Foster. And our girl can have Kylee as a middle name.”

  “Killian…we just had this one less than twelve hours ago. Can we hold off on thinking about the next baby? Maybe give me a year or so?”

  “A year? I was thinking more like a few months. Tops.”

  She huffed out a giggle and shook her head. “My vagina still hurts. There will be no talk of sex or babies until that pain goes away.”

  “I know how to make it go away.”