by Lynda Chance
She finished eating before he did, and she stood up and began tidying up the mess. When he was finished eating, he followed her into the small galley kitchen and crowded her back against the counter. Caging her in with his arms, he leaned down to her ear and whispered, "I loved seeing you come. Loved making you come. Understand me when I tell you I'm going to have more of that, okay?"
Both enthralled and floored at his words, she could only nod her head in agreement.
He lifted his head from her ear and slowly, touched one finger to the tip of her nose. "Tomorrow."
And then he was gone.
****
It was raining the next day. The four walls were closing in on Jessica and she thought she was going to pull her hair out. At about two-thirty, she couldn't stand it anymore and put on a hoodie that she knew was going to get soaked, and she left her apartment and ran all the way to the clubhouse.
It was empty, as she had fully expected. She took off her drenched sweatshirt and went over to the bookshelf. She chose a couple more books and tossed them on the coffee table in the sitting area that contained a couch and four armchairs, in addition to the flat-screen television.
Picking up the remote, she flipped through the channels and almost had a heart attack when she saw the move, Titanic, just beginning on one of the older movie channels. It was absolutely one of her favorite films of all times, and she hadn't seen it in years. Knowing good and well it was about four hours long, she quickly calculated the time and knew she'd have plenty of time before Connor got to her apartment that evening.
She slipped her shoes off, pulled her cell phone from her pocket and put it on her small stack of books, and sank into the couch, thankful as hell she'd found a more than decent way to pass the dreary, lonely afternoon.
****
Jessica heard her cell phone ringing as if through a long tunnel. She was groggy, and she sat up too quickly. As her head swam, she realized she'd fallen asleep. She cleared her throat and tried to shake the fog from her mind. "Hello?"
"Where the hell are you?" Connor's voice thundered across the line.
"I'm in the clubhouse. I fell asleep. Give me a minute and I'll be there." She didn't wait for his answer, just cut the call and rose to her feet. Pocketing her phone, she grabbed her hoodie and the books she'd chosen, and left the room, closing the door behind her.
The rain was gone, but it was still dark and dreary. Night hadn't fallen yet, but the rays of the sun had difficulty penetrating through the thick density of the clouds. She picked her way back to her apartment, large water puddles everywhere. It looked like they must have received several inches of rain, and she had somehow managed to sleep through it all.
She let herself into the apartment, and found Connor standing in front of the French doors, holding himself rigidly as he stared out. She bolted the door and he turned to face her.
"You fell asleep in the clubhouse?" Anger and something else colored his tone and put Jessica's back up.
"Yes, I'm sorry." She didn't want this to escalate into a fight, especially not after the night before that they'd shared.
"How?"
"How, what?" she asked.
"How and why would you fall asleep in the clubhouse?"
"Um, I was watching a movie and the couch was comfortable--"
He cut off her explanation. "You were there because it has a television?"
"Yes."
"Was anyone with you?" His eyes pierced into hers, refusing to allow her to look away, even if she'd wanted to.
"No, I was alone the entire time."
Her answer didn't seem to soothe him. "You fell asleep in a room where any number of people could have just walked in on you?"
"I--I guess. But nobody ever goes there. It's always empty."
"You've watched television there before?"
"No, but I go there and borrow paperback books. It's kind of like the honor system. You read one and then return it."
"It's not safe. I don't want you in there anymore. Any fucking nut job could corner you there and hurt you." He motioned to the front door. "There's a goddamn reason I'm so meticulous about the deadbolt. You need to wake up from whatever fucking dream world you've been living in and start taking better care."
Her spine stiffened. She had to be able to go there. She had nothing to do in her apartment, nothing. "But--"
He cut her off. "Let's go."
She swallowed and her head began to spin at the sudden change of subject. "Go where?"
He didn't give her the answer she'd asked for, only demanded, "Get your bag. Hurry up."
Jessica sucked in a sustaining breath and went to retrieve her bag from the bedroom. She followed him out of the apartment and stood next to him while he locked up. "Where are we going?"
"It should be obvious. You need a fucking TV."
"Oh, no, it's okay. I don't want to spend any . . . " she lowered her voice an octave, " . . . of the money on a television. I can make do."
The look he gave her was glaring. He didn't answer her, only grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to the passenger door of his Escalade and put her into the vehicle.
She busied herself buckling up as he pulled away. She was quiet as he drove about fifteen minutes away to a large, upscale strip center that contained a huge electronics store.
She followed him in without a word.
He picked out a flat screen television and all the peripherals that went with it in under five minutes. Then he led her over to the e-readers. "Pick one."
She felt her eyes get big as she looked at the expensive electronics. She was speechless, and began shaking her head. "Jessica. Choose one. You like to read. You're stuck at the apartment all day. You need books. This stuff is my treat. My gift to you."
"No, I--"
"Fine. Have it your way." Impatient, he walked over to the top row where the highest dollar components were displayed and chose the most expensive one. He reached below it, and snagged a cover and an extra power cord.
He began leading her away but stopped short and turned to look down at her as if something had suddenly occurred to him. "You don't have a laptop, do you?"
Jessica was too floored to answer. If she told him the truth, he'd buy one of those as well. He must have read her silence to mean she didn't, because he turned and briskly walked to the computer section. Within minutes, he had someone helping them and he'd picked out everything she needed.
Jessica had never seen anyone spend so much money in so little time. She was completely stunned as within minutes, he'd paid for the purchases and a young man was loading them into his vehicle.
They were back at the apartment within an hour of when they'd left and he began unloading the car.
He set up the television while she opened her laptop. The apartment rent included Wi-Fi and cable, so she was virtually good to go. After the television was set up, she flicked through the channels as he opened the box that contained the e-reader. "Give me your e-mail address."
She did and he pulled out his wallet and removed a credit card.
"What are you doing?"
"Setting up an account so you can buy books."
"You can't pay for my books."
Connor looked up and his eyes gleamed like molten lava into hers. "I can pay for whatever the fuck I want."
She swallowed her argument and let him continue doing what he was doing. Just because he set up an account for her, that didn't mean she had to actually purchase anything.
When he was finished, he tossed the e-reader on the coffee table and turned to face her. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he began walking her backward towards the wall. "You think you've got enough toys to keep you busy for awhile now? Enough entertainment to keep your little ass safe in this apartment where I don't have to worry about you?"
Her back hit the wall. "I didn't ask you to buy me anything."
"No, I know you didn't." He gripped her chin between his fingers and thumb and lifted her face to his. "It's not sa
fe for you to be in that clubhouse by yourself. I feel like shit for not realizing you needed this crap before. Promise me you won't put yourself in danger like that again."
There was something in his voice, something in his eyes, as he looked down into hers that told Jessica his concern for her was real. It sent a spiral of heady delight through her veins that saturated her senses. His torso was pressed against hers, and she could feel his erection growing where it was pressed against her stomach. She remembered her orgasm from the night before, and her breath hitched.
He reached down with his free hand and it landed between her thighs, on the part of her that wanted him the most. He gripped her in the palm of his hand as if he owned her. When he spoke, his voice was deeper than usual. "Promise me."
His hand was hot on her body and sudden and immediate need clouded her thought process but she had just enough snap to push out an answer, even though she couldn't remember the exact question. "I promise."
Her mind was gone and he must have known it. "What are you promising me, Jessica?"
She stared into his beautiful eyes, her mind drawing a blank as rivers of arousal flowed down her spine and landed in a pool of tingling dampness between her thighs. "I don't know."
Connor smiled down at her, and for the first time since she'd known him, it was a real smile. And at the sight of it, any functioning brain cells Jessica might have had left just totally shut down. He picked her up and carried her to the bed. Within moments, he was completely stripped and her shorts and panties were off. He began to raise her shirt over her head, but Jessica still wasn't ready for that, and she clutched the hem to her sides to prevent her t-shirt from moving.
"No?" he asked, his voice no more than a gentle whisper.
She shook her head back and forth.
He frowned, his gaze momentarily dropping down to her chest rising and falling in agitation beneath the soft cotton of her shirt, but he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "Okay, baby."
The sound of the husky endearment sent heat and confusion through her. She tried to twist over to her stomach, expecting he'd want to revert back to that, but he had other plans. He lifted her bodily, using his upper-arm strength, and when he flipped over to his back, Jessica found herself on top and straddling him. She sucked in a breath as she felt the hardness of his shaft behind her, pushing into the cheeks of her butt, her feminine softness open, spread across his lower torso.
The feeling was electric and her eyes flared. His stare was hot on hers. "You'll like it like this, okay?" he asked.
Jessica propped herself over him with her hands on his shoulders. "Yes," she answered as she balanced on one hand and pushed her hair behind her ear.
He reached up and slid his fingers through her hair, from the roots to the ends. "Leave it alone. I like your hair in my face." With his hand behind her neck, he gently pulled her down and began kissing her. His lips latched onto hers, his tongue delved deeply into her mouth, and the groan he made pulled an answering moan from her throat.
As they kissed, her body began to ache for the fullness he could give her, and with a will of their own, her hips began to rock against him. Reaching between their bodies with one hand, he began to rub on her clit, and at his touch, Jessica felt a surge of excitement she couldn't control.
Their kiss went wild, his intimate hold on her became harder and stronger and he began to coax her closer to losing all control.
He pulled his mouth from hers. "Are you close?"
"Yes."
"Sit on me, baby." Jessica didn't have time to answer; Connor was lifting her and holding her balanced over him until she felt the head of his penis at her entrance.
The feeling was incredible. She couldn't stand it anymore and began pushing down over him, sinking slowly until she couldn't take anymore of him. He adjusted his hold on her by lifting her from the hips and when she sank down again, she found him even deeper than before.
He lifted her up and down three times, and then he let her take over. Indescribable pleasure slammed down her spine. She heard whimpers that in the back of her mind she knew were coming from her own throat, but she couldn't care, she couldn't be embarrassed.
Connor was breathing harshly underneath her, and quickly, too quickly because she didn't want it to happen so soon, she was exploding and coming hard on top of him. He held her close, his arms tightening on her, and gave her a moment to milk her orgasm.
And then he growled low in his throat, pulled her hips into a forceful grip, and began jerking her up and down over him.
It only took about five thrusts, and he was coming too. He roared from the back of his throat, and when it was over, he pulled her over him until her body settled over his and her head fell to his shoulder.
It was a long, long time before her heartbeat came down.
He was completely still beneath her, and when she lifted her head, she found him sound asleep.
She crawled off him as carefully as she could manage, and went to the bathroom to clean up. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she knew something had changed.
Maybe not with him, but definitely, something within herself had changed. There was no doubt in her mind that her feelings for him had shifted. She cautioned herself to be careful, but she couldn't deny the need she felt to crawl back in bed with him and sleep with him so near.
****
Connor woke in the middle of the night with Jessica's back buried against his chest and his arm wrapped around her waist, with his hand cupping her breast.
When he realized that the softness he held in the palm of his hand was her breast, he was very careful not to wake her. He felt the blood pool to his cock, felt the surge of testosterone that hardened him fully, but for the moment, his cock wasn't what concerned him.
He had her breast in his hand. And it was an awesome feeling. He moved his fingers just a small amount, trying to feel and memorize the weight of her. He'd seen them naked, but he'd never touched them. They weren't naked now, but this was as close as he'd gotten to their soft weight in his hands. When he'd first met her, when he'd first started having sex with her, he'd wanted to touch them, but wouldn't allow himself to feed the need, because it was a craving for intimacy he knew he shouldn't feel. And since then, for a reason known only to her, she wouldn't let him and it had been driving him crazy. He hadn't wanted to want it before, but since he'd found out he couldn't have them, it had been driving him berserk. He almost felt guilty, holding her now in the palm of his hand, like he was committing a huge sin against her, doing something to her that she'd never allow if she were awake.
He knew he should get up and leave; this was too dangerous, sleeping in the same bed with her. The agreement between them didn't allow for such intimacy, he had to remember that he didn't want it. But he couldn't seem to get up and go. If he got up, he'd have to let go of her breast, and God only knew how long it would take before he'd be able to touch it again. His cock was screaming at him to roll her over and bury himself within her hot folds. But his brain wouldn't let his cock win the fight. He still had some control over his body, and right now, his most pressing need was holding her breast in his hand for as long as he could. He was vaguely aware that it was an emotional need, and not a physical one, but he pushed away the thought and concentrated on her. She was soft and silky, and God, so sweet. He remembered the look in her eyes when he'd put her on top of him, the innocence and question that had shone from them, and it was almost more than he could stand to lie still and continue to just hold her. He still needed sleep; his eyes were, even now, trying to close on him. But he didn't want to go back to sleep, he wanted to stay awake and enjoy the feel of her within his arms.
What he was starting to feel for her was dangerous, and he needed to get a grip, but he'd worry about that tomorrow. For now, nothing and nobody would take this away from him.
****
When Jessica woke up the next morning, Connor was gone. She tried to keep busy, and fiddled with the e-reader long enough to dow
nload a bunch of free books that she hadn't even known were available until she began browsing the online bookstore. Free books! That was exactly within her price range.
It had started to rain again, and she flipped through the channels on the new flat-screen until she found an exercise program that was only just beginning. She jumped up, pushed the coffee table aside and began following along, pleased she was finally able to stretch and test her muscles again.
When she was finished working out, she went online and checked her email accounts. Looking at all the emails she kept getting from that account, she went in and with an inordinate amount of satisfaction, deleted the profile she'd made and erased the entire email account she'd set up to go along with it. She hadn't had access to a computer since she'd left campus, and now she ran through all her favorite websites and played on Facebook for a while.
It dawned on her that she now could get back onto the university's web portal, and she logged on and with a dedicated effort, began combing through the financial aid pages. She knew her grade point average was too low for any of the scholarships offered directly through the university, but there were tons of links to privately funded scholarships.
Unfortunately, she kept running into different roadblocks. Either she wasn't working on the right major, or she didn't have the correct prerequisites, or her GPA wasn't high enough. She scrolled and studied for several hours until suddenly, she hit a gold mine. Not a gold mine that would solve all of her problems, but it would pay her fall tuition if she could score it. The scholarship was from a national petroleum company, and they were offering five grand to a Geology major who fit the bill. And she did.
She re-read the requirements a good three times, saw that the closing date to apply for the fall semester was tomorrow, and she spent the next two hours making her application as tip-top as she possibly could.
She pressed the submit application button, and said a swift prayer.