by Lynda Chance
****
The next three weeks crawled by as if in slow motion. Her relationship with Connor progressed only in tiny increments. He continued to come visit her around seven every evening, but he was almost always gentle with her now. She refused to think of it as making love, and she wouldn't use the terminology he used, but when they had sex, it was almost always in the missionary position.
She continued to keep her shirt on, and she knew it was beginning to drive him crazy. Always, without fail, he would wait until she was almost mindless from arousal, and then he would slide his arm up her torso and cover her breast with his hand. Several times, he almost got away with it, because she was so far gone. But each time, she'd realize what he was doing, and stiffen beneath his touch. They never fought about it, they didn't openly talk about it, and she hoped she wasn't such a mean-spirited shrew that she purposely denied him her breasts. It wasn't that. She just wasn't ready. It was crazy, she knew. But as long as money was the underlining factor in their relationship, she wanted to keep that part of her body to herself.
Sometimes he wanted to have sex two or three times a day. First, the very second he arrived, once on the couch around eleven, and sometimes again in the middle of the night. Those pre-dawn interludes were quick and only for him. She would awaken with him already inside of her and thrusting toward orgasm. It only took minutes.
He began spending the night at the apartment, or at least, almost the entire night. Without fail, she always had to use the bathroom at about four o'clock in the morning, and he was usually still there. Yet when she got out of bed around seven, he was always gone. So at some time in the wee hours of dawn, he left the bed with her asleep in it.
Since he was spending the nights with her, he began eating with her as well. She began to recognize on which nights he would bring certain types of food.
They didn't talk often about their pasts, but they'd had a few conversations. She learned he owned a start-up technology company, and he was able to work so much from home because he basically could do as he liked. She knew he made a lot of money from the mobile business applications he'd invented and which evidently, tons of companies couldn't do without. She'd been surprised when she'd found out he was so much into computers, because he didn't seem the type at all. Tall and brawny and well built, the last thing he looked like was a software developer. When she'd found out what he did for a living, she'd tapped him playfully on the shoulder and told him that he didn't look like a computer geek. He'd flipped her to her back and told her that computer geeks came in all shapes and sizes.
One night when they were sitting on the couch he began questioning her about her past. In her mind, the most shameful thing she'd ever done in her life had been what she was doing with him, so she didn't have anything to hide from him. She'd admitted she had no idea who her father was and told him that her mom was in prison and would be for a long, long time. They sat side by side on the couch, the sun had already gone down and she hadn't moved to turn on any lights yet. The moonlight came in through the windows, and the swimming pool lights cast a soft spell outside her window.
He moved to position his back in the corner of the couch, with one leg spread out on the cushions and the other propped on the coffee table. He pulled her into him until she lay between his spread thighs, curled up against him, her stomach pressed into the juncture of his thighs, and her head propped on his chest. One of his hands went to the top of her head, and began to play with her hair, while he held her hand in his other one. The hand that held hers didn't stay still, but caressed her hand, moving his fingers over hers and learning by touch every inch of her palm, fingertips, and nails.
He had taken her once to the bedroom already, and she knew that that encounter had taken the edge off his sexual need, and was the reason he was seemingly content to lie on the couch with her now. He'd left his underwear off, but had pulled his jeans back on, and they were zipped but not buttoned. She'd slipped a clean pair of panties on, and as usual, had her sleeping t-shirt firmly in place.
As he continued to stroke his hands over her, a shiver of longing ran through her, but she remained still against him as he quietly continued to question her. "So what made you do this, sweetheart? I know you lost your scholarship, but why didn't you go the obvious route? Something like seventy percent of college kids take out loans. Are you that much against debt?"
She licked her lips. "No, of course not."
"Then why?"
"My mom ruined my credit. She trashed it years ago."
"How so? How did she ruin it?"
"She took out a bunch of loans in my name. When I was about fourteen. My social security number has a black mark against it that I'll probably never recover from. I'm talking like bankruptcy and everything." She felt his hands still where they caressed her and she knew she had his full attention. "They say your credit can be repaired in about seven years, but that's a load of crap. Have you ever in your life seen a credit application that didn't ask if you'd ever declared bankruptcy? Once you answer that question, you're toast."
"So you tried to get a loan?" he asked.
"Yep, many times. Right after I went on academic probation, at the end of the last fall semester, just in case I ended up losing the scholarship."
"And you were denied?" His hands continued to run over her.
She sucked in a breath and tried to concentrate on the conversation they were having and not his hands on her. "Every time."
"I'm sorry."
Jessica moved to prop her hands under her chin and look up into his eyes. "It's not your fault."
He watched her carefully, the hand that she'd let go of moving to settle on her butt. He continued to study her, and his expression became clouded with something she couldn't read. "Isn't it?" he asked.
She frowned, wondering at his meaning. "No, you didn't even know me back then."
He leaned down and brushed a kiss over her forehead. "That's true."
Jessica sighed, and he put his hands over her arms and pulled her up a few inches until he could reach her mouth. Their lips met, and he kissed her softly, moving his lips over hers slowly, but not trying to penetrate her with his tongue.
They kissed like that for many minutes, and Jessica's head began to swim as his hands caressed her back, running over her butt and down her thighs and then to her shoulders and back again.
Their breathing became heavy, and he slid his tongue inside and tasted her more fully. His put his hand on the back of her hair and angled her head so he could get a better fit, and the kiss became even deeper.
Jessica began to get lightheaded and broke away from his lips to take a breath. His lips moved to her ear and he whispered, "You want to play a game?"
Chapter Seven
The last time Connor had used that terminology, they'd just met, and that force word had come up between them. Jessica stiffened in his arms.
He must have read her exact thought, because he began to soothe her immediately. "Shh. No, I'm not talking about anything you won't like. Nothing to be scared of, no pain at all, sweetheart. Causing you pain isn't something that gets me off." He stiffened beside her and his face paled. "It has the opposite effect."
"What then?" she whispered.
"How about a simple game of pretend?" he asked softly, teasingly.
"Pretend? Pretend what?" she asked, both surprised and mildly intrigued by the idea.
His teeth grazed her earlobe and he bit down softly on it before releasing it and smoothing the hair away from her ear and whispering again, "Let's pretend that we're kids and we're dating. You'll be a virgin and want to stay that way, but you're curious. We'll pretend that I'm desperate to do more than kiss you, that I'm desperate to move to second base."
Jessica's breath hitched when he said 'second base', and she let out a tiny, uncontrollable whimper of distress. She began to lever herself away from him. "I don't know, I'm not that good at pretending."
His hand wrapped around the back of her neck, holding her firmly in place, an
d his eyes clashed with hers and refused to let go. "Please, Jessica. Just play the game with me. You get to make the rules, okay? All of the control is in your hands, I promise. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. She wasn't stupid. Connor was trying to trick her or seduce her into taking her shirt off. But as panicked as that made her, she wanted to do this with him. It sounded incredibly erotic, exactly how she would have loved it to have really been between them. She believed that he'd let her have control, to not do anything she didn't want him to. She still didn't plan on letting him get to second base, but the kissing and petting and trying to get there was too tempting for her to resist. So she closed her eyes for a second and tried to put herself in the correct mindset. She was a virgin again and Connor wanted to make out.
When she lifted her eyelids again, she was already in the game.
She opened her eyes wide and blinked up at him. "You promise we won't go all the way?" Her words were a whisper and he reacted to them gratifyingly quickly.
"Oh, God, I promise, baby. I promise, we won't go all the way." With his words, Jessica knew, that he too, had slipped into character and joined 'the game'.
His lips grazed across her cheek and took a quick, gentle kiss on her lips. "I just want to kiss you, I swear to God."
He tugged her bottom lip into his mouth and nipped at it, his breath joining and mingling with hers.
She let him take the lead, and floated into a world of pretending the last few weeks hadn't happened. She set up the scene in her head, and pretended they were newly dating, they'd just gotten back from a movie, and he'd brought her back to her dorm room only to find her roommate wasn't there. The character in her head knew that Connor was going to push her for sex, but she wasn't ready yet, and was determined to keep the situation and the making out, under control.
With that fairytale firmly in place, Jessica left the real world behind and melted under the kisses he was giving her.
His erection became apparent very quickly, it pushed against her lower stomach, right above her pelvis, and sent molten need sliding through her. He kissed her slowly, firmly, taking his time as the pressure built between them. His hand caressed her back, over her shirt, and trailed softly, up and down her spine, making sweeps from the top of her shoulder blades and down again. With each swipe of his hand, he came closer and closer to the fullness of her bottom.
It was as if he was tantalizing her on purpose, not moving his hand far enough down her back to soothe the ache she felt there. She wiggled against him, wanting to feel his touch on her butt. When she moved against him, she whimpered into his mouth, and his lips latched onto hers, more firmly, hotly, taking her mouth by storm and thrusting his tongue inside.
His erection grew even larger and she felt the hardness, the heat of it pulsing beneath her. It was making her crazy, and she crawled a few inches upward, angling her mouth above his, and aligning her crotch with his.
When she made that move, he groaned deep in his mouth and their kiss went wild. His hand landed where she wanted it, on her butt, and he clenched it tightly in his hand.
She began rocking against him, irresistible need clenching between her thighs, sending currents of pleasure through her that flooded her with damp heat.
They kissed endlessly, his arms surrounding her, both of his hands on the cheeks of her butt, his fingers clenching and coming dangerously close to the cleft in between.
He broke his mouth away from hers, and he lifted her and turned her quickly, until they were lying side by side. Their bottom arms entwined, holding each other, and that left each of them one hand each free to explore each other. Her hand landed on his naked chest, and his mouth fell back to hers, his tongue delving between her lips. He lifted her leg, and shifted it until it hung over his hip, and the position opened her legs to him.
He took advantage immediately, and ran his hand over her thigh and then between them, to the vee between her legs, where he cupped her heat over the top of her panties. He pressed hard, the heel of his palm massaging her, and soon she was mindless, completely under his control.
He continued to kiss her, never letting go of her mouth completely, but allowing her to lift away from him, just enough to take shallow pants, and force oxygen into her lungs. His lips trailed to the corner of her mouth. "You're so fucking beautiful." He gave her just enough time to breathe, and then he began kissing her again.
She let out a tiny moan, and pushed her hips toward his, pushing her mound into his hand. He clenched her tightly, rubbing her in circles over her panties, and then he let go of her momentarily, and slid his fingers to grasp her hand that played over his chest, grabbing it and sliding it between them. He slid it down over his erection, and held it there, just long enough for her to know he wanted it to stay there.
She let out a ragged sound of shock, and his hand left hers and landed between her thighs again. She'd never touched him there before, not in make believe, and not in real life, and even though it was through the fabric of his jeans, his strength, heat and power sent ripples of electric response down her spine.
She slowly began to move her hand, holding it firmly against him as he was doing to her, and the twin touches, her hand on him and his on her, added an intimacy to their actions that sent a heated spike to her arousal.
With his mouth devouring hers, she moaned helplessly, and heard an answering groan coming from him.
The feel of his hard heat underneath her hand was consuming her, she held on to him, loving the feel of his erection, never wanting to let him go. He manipulated her clit, ran his finger under the elastic of her panties, and swirled his finger over her, until her hips were undulating against him.
He released her for a moment, and ran his hand on the outside of her shirt, until his fingers landed on her breast, and he began tweaking her nipple.
The feeling was incredible, different and new, and in a hazy part of her brain a thought tried to enter, but it drifted away before it could take a clear form, and all she could do was gasp into his mouth as his hand slid down and pushed up her shirt, where he palmed her entire breast in his hand.
He released her mouth, took a deep, shuddering breath, and slid down her torso just enough to reach her chest. With her shirt bunched up around her neck, he latched onto her nipple with his lips and teeth and began licking her, grazing the white skin of her breast with his whiskers as his mouth pulled on her nipple.
She felt her orgasm close by, not imminent, but just there, in the background, well within reach. He moved his mouth to her other breast and began sucking on the top swell of her skin while he teased its twin with his fingers.
He continued that dedicated assault on her senses until she thought she'd go insane, and then he released her just long enough to shove his jeans down around his hips. Grabbing her hand, he wrapped it around his full, throbbing penis.
With his mouth holding her breast captive, his moved his lips and tongue to her nipple again and began sucking in earnest.
Holding his hand over hers, he began a sliding motion, up and down, over the length of his penis. He held her hand firmly, showing her the exact motion he wanted, and he took his mouth off her nipple only long enough to force out, "Keep doing it."
His lips captured her nipple again, and he lifted his hand from hers and snaked his finger under the elastic of her panties. He took only a few swipes at her wet clit, and then opened her folds and pushed his long, middle finger inside of her.
She cried out at the impact, and the motion of her hand on his penis faltered only a moment before she again began the movement that seemed to excite her just as much as it did him.
They breathed harshly together, and within a few minutes of the relentless, provocative petting, Jessica began to slide down into a powerful orgasm unlike any she'd ever known. Her internal muscles clenched around his finger and her womb began to spasm in waves of pleasure so intense that she couldn't control the scream that left her
lips.
The noises she began making pushed him over the edge, and he pushed his hips into her hand, growling from low within his throat. As pleasure cascaded through her bloodstream, he pumped his hips two more times and then went completely still, coming with her and spilling his seed into her hand.
****
Later that night, her back was curled against him with her t-shirt firmly in place again and sleep was almost upon her. His arms tightened around her and he spoke and said something that sounded like it had been bothering him. "You were more than just a virgin. You were barely experienced at all."
Her eyes flew open and she stared, unseeingly, at the wall as his words hit her. But it was a statement, not a question, and she didn't respond.
He nudged against her, demanding an answer. "Why?" he asked simply.
She answered him in as few words as she could manage and hoped they were enough because she was tired and didn't really want to ever have this conversation with him. "My home life, you know, sucked. My mother was pretty worthless, and from the time I was fifteen, I had a job. I worked as many hours as I could, while still going to school. I dedicated my life to good grades, putting food in my stomach, and getting away from the only way of life that I'd ever known. I didn't have time for boys."
"When did she go to prison?"
"During my senior year, and luckily for me, after I turned eighteen."
"Did you live alone until you graduated?"
"No. I got kicked out of the trailer that we rented. There was an amazing school counselor, and she took me in until I left for college the next fall. She helped me get the scholarship, held my hand, I guess you could say, as I filled out application after application."
"Is that why you chose UTD? Because of the scholarship?"
"Yeah. They offer some of the best academic scholarships in the state. I did just the opposite as most kids. I chose the college first, because of the scholarship, and then I picked a major that the school offered. It was the only way I could get a college education."