“An honest fight?”
“Yes. Caleb she wouldn’t tell me what had happened between the two of you, not all of it in any case, but she did tell me about your brother, I am so sorry, I can only imagine how you must feel...”Maria trailed off, touching Caleb’s cheek the way a mother would. “Gabby also had some other home truths for me. About the way I have treated her as opposed to her sister, about the way Lucia and Sofia came to her. She wasn’t very kind to me last night, I realise now that I deserved it of course, but last night I wasn’t ready to listen, so we did what we always do, we argued.”
“I can imagine.” After hearing how Gabby felt about her mother’s interference and favouritism towards her younger sister, Caleb was only surprised by how long it had actually taken her to stand up for herself.
“Nico heard us, I feel so embarrassed, the whole street must have heard us sniping at each other.” If Maria hadn’t been so serious Caleb would have found the whole thing rather funny. “Nico tried to intervene, tried to placate us both, but as much as Gabby might wish that she was nothing like me, it was my temper that she inherited, not his fair nature. So, he tried to reason with us, and it escalated into the three of us all arguing at once, a little triangle of anger. And then,” Maria draws a deep, shaking breath, “Nico just collapsed, he just slumped sideways in his chair and then he turned grey and just fell to the floor.” She was sobbing again now, Lucia and Sofia snuggling closer to each other, eyes wide. “It is all my fault, if I had just listened to Nico, if I had just held off on talking with Gabby, this wouldn’t have happened, Nico wouldn’t have gotten so worked up that he collapsed.”
“Maria, I am sure the doctors will tell you the same thing, but I doubt very much if it was this incident alone that triggered Nico’s collapse. Maybe there is an underlying issue?”
“Maybe, I don’t know. I just...I thought...Nico likes you, we both do, it is only right that you be here.”
“Maria, let me sit with the girls, you go back to Nico. We’ll be okay, we’ll go get some food at the cafeteria or something, you can call me if you get worried or you need anything, and we will be right back.”
“Thank you, I really would like to go back to him, I want to see him.”
“Of course, go, we’ll be fine, won’t we Lucia and Sofia?” The two little girls nodded enthusiastically, Caleb was fun, maybe he would take them for ice cream if they asked nicely. They hugged Maria goodbye, Lucia and Sofia taking Caleb’s hands and happily following the coloured line marker down to the cafeteria. They ordered one of everything, way too much food, but Caleb knew a picnic would distract everyone, and went to find a shady spot on the lawns to sit.
It wasn’t long before an angry looking Gabby slammed through the kiosk doors, uncaring of who was around to witness her mood. “Lucia, Sofia, pick up your things and come with me please, now!” The girls hastened to obey, they knew what mama’s angry tone sounded like and no way did they want to get into trouble.
“Hello Gabby. Why, hello Caleb.” Caleb suggested quietly, earning a look of absolute fury from Gabby. Honestly, if fire were to come spitting from her eyes right now, he would not be at all surprised.
“Are you actually trying to talk to me right now?” Her rebuttal was scathing. Caleb was beginning to wish that he had let her loose on the paparazzi, now that would have been a sight to see.
“Gabby, come on,” he tried again, “why don’t you sit down for a minute, have something to eat, I know you must be hungry.”
“You don’t know anything Caleb.” She took Lucia and Sofia’s hands in her own and turned back towards the banks of elevators.
Caleb hastened to collect up all the food, shoving it back into the bag and jogging after the girls. “If you are not going to sit and eat with me, then at least take the food back with you.” Caleb held the bag out towards Gabby, who resolutely ignored it. “If you don’t want it, that’s fine. At least take it for Maria and the girls, Gabby, don’t be so stubborn. You know as well as I do that everyone is hungry, this will save you all a trip to the store later, I know Maria doesn’t want to have to leave Nico’s side right now.” Caleb wasn’t above a little blackmail if it meant that she would eat something, she looked dead on her feet. With gritted teeth and lips pressed in an uncompromising line, Gabby held her hand out for the bag of food, flinching slightly when Caleb passed it over, deliberately letting his fingers linger on hers for a moment too long. Where was this darn elevator?! Gabby tapped her foot impatiently, wondering just when Caleb was going to get the message and go away. As she and the girls stood in the elevator watching the doors close, gabby sighed in relief, a relief that was short lived when she exited at the top level to see Caleb standing there, not even sweating from what must a been a herculean run up the stairs.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Gabby allowed the girls to walk ahead to their nanna, carrying the bag of food between them. As they turned the corner into the intensive care waiting room, Gabby rounded on Caleb. “You can leave now.” She reminded him curtly.
“Gabby, let me help you, let me help your family.”
“We don’t need your help Caleb,” Gabby hissed seething, “and even if we did, we wouldn’t want it, nor would we even accept it.”
“Your mother already did.” He reminded her flatly.
“A mistake she won’t make again, especially not with my daughters.”
“Gabby, please, let me help you. Let me pay off the debts at the bakery, let me hire you some help, a housekeeper to help your mum with the bed and breakfast, some staff for the bakery so you have more time at home, I know you want these things Gabby, let me give them to you, it is the least that I can do.”
“The least that you can do? For what exactly Caleb? For lying to me?”
“Gabby, that’s not why. You have no idea how much it helped me, to talk to you about Sam that night we had together. I haven’t talked about him before, not with anyone.”
“So, what you are actually saying then Caleb is that you are essentially paying me because I listened? Or maybe it is payment for services rendered?”
“Gabby, no! that is not how it was, not for me and not for you, I know that you know that. Don’t pretend that it was anything less than what it was, don’t brush off what we have just because you are angry with me.”
“What we have Caleb? No, what we had, which, by the way, was a one-night stand, nothing more than that. you could have had that with anyone, I was simply convenient, an easy target.”
“Gabby, no, it wasn’t like that. I, I know it sounds completely insane, especially coming from me now, when I should have said it earlier, but it was more than a one-night stand Gabby.” Caleb took a deep breath before continuing. “I love you.” He knew that she would have a strong reaction, but the sharp sting of her palm connecting with the side of his face was not what he had imagined would happen.
“Don’t ever say that again,” Gabby fumed. “I do not want to hear it, is that clear? I hate you Caleb, do you understand that, I hate you.”
“Gabby,” Caleb’s voice is strangled, “don’t say that, please don’t say that.”
“Why not Caleb, it is the truth.” Gabby shrugged her shoulders, determined to act as if she really did not care.
“Gabby, please.”
“You lied to me, consistently and on purpose. You pretended to enjoy spending time with me and my family, all while living a secret life. You all but admitted that you did not want to be seen in public with me, I realise now that it was so there would be no photos of the famous Caleb Roman slumming it with some small town single mum, a pleb baker of all things. God, how you must have mocked us, how you must have laughed at our small ways. Was it some kind of joke Caleb? Are you planning on writing a song about this, your foray into the real world, your brush with the commoner?”
“Gabby, I would never, you have my word.”
“Oh good, since that is so trustworthy,” she mocked. “Do you think I am stupid Caleb? I can’t trust you. Ju
st go home, go back where you belong, you aren’t wanted here.” With that Gabby turned on her heel, stalking down the empty corridor and around the corner.
Once out of Caleb’s sight, Gabby sunk into the nearest plastic chair she saw, hands shaking, unable to catch her breath properly. God how she hated that man! She shook her head firmly, trying to clear her foggy thoughts. No, she didn’t hate him, not really, not even close, but she wanted to, with every fibre of her being she wanted to hate him for the rest of her life. The only problem was, deep down she knew that he had not done anything wrong, not really. Oh, sure, he had lied to them all, but it wasn’t maliciously done, of that she was certain. It was done from a place of self-preservation. No, the problem wasn’t with Caleb, it was with her. He had made her feel alive, electric, vibrant. Which was the real problem, because now that Gabby knew who Caleb really was, there was no way that they could ever be together. He was way out of her league; he was so far out of her league he was in a different solar system. Gabby wasn’t an idiot, it didn’t matter how much he liked her or her family, the fact remained that they were from different walks of life.
She came from the working class, she knew where she would be in ten years’ time, she would still be in her parents bakery, running it for them. She would head home in the evenings and cook for them, tidying up the house before bed. The girls would be away at university, no matter what it took, Gabby was going to make sure that both Lucia and Sofia went to university, that they had the opportunity she never had. No way would they work in the bakery. This was her lot in life, it would not be theirs. This is who she was, this is what she had in store for her. Caleb only served to remind her of that. He was the first thing she had done for herself; he had reminded her of all the things she had once yearned for, and now he was the reason she would never have any of it. Caleb had been right, it had been more than a one-night stand, she had gone ahead and stupidly fallen in love with him. She could never have him, but she knew she would torture herself by reading all about him in the tabloids, watching him life out his life carefree. She knew that while she couldn’t have him, she also would never settle for anything less. She had doomed herself for one night with Caleb, a mistake she would never forgive herself for.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Caleb threw the car into reverse and peeled out of the hospital parking garage, headed back to the seclusion and silence of his hotel room, needing to get as far away from Gabby as quickly as he could. He couldn’t hear anything over the rushing of the blood in his ears, she couldn’t really hate him, could she? He knew that he needed to make this right, he just needed to formulate a plan first. Once he was holed up in his room, he poured himself a large scotch and, rifling around in the small desk in the corner, located a piece of paper and a pen, sitting down at the table and beginning to write. Two hours later he was finished, he leant back in his chair and flexed his fingers, trying to dispel the cramps that had taken up residence an hour ago. Caleb wasn’t used to writing by hand, he usually just scribbled some notes down and left the actual writing work for when he was sitting in front of his laptop. He fingered the list he had just made, right now it seemed insurmountable, but he had no other options, he knew what he had to do if he ever hoped to prove to Gabby that she mattered to him, that she wasn’t just someone that he had used for his own pleasure, his own end, he just wished that it wasn’t going to be so hard.
Caleb stood and walked across the room to the sliding glass door of the balcony, opening it and slipping outside. It had grown dark outside while he had written, the coolness of the air surprised him. The town below was bathed in the glow of streetlights, with no lights on inside the hotel room, he was clothes in darkness. He leant on the railing, watched a young couple laugh as they walked down the street, he wondered where they were going at this hour, twilight. A dog barked his disapproval, his owner attempting to rush him past a tree before he was able to lift his leg. Caleb wondered who was watching Bella and Jellybean, he knew Lucia and Sofia must be missing them something fierce. With a sigh he sunk down onto one of the sun lounges on the balcony. He knew he was stalling, trying to put off the task at hand. A vision of Gabby flashed in his head, she was standing before him, floral sundress wafting in the breeze, brilliant smile directed at him. She was dazzling, and she was worth it.
Caleb picked up his mobile phone and dialled a familiar number, waiting for it to connect at the other end.
“Hello?” The voice sounded tired, Caleb silently cursed himself, he should have checked the time first, they were probably just about to sit down for an evening in front of the television, bingeing their favourite television show.
“Mum?” Hope mingled with regret; he didn’t know what he would do if she hung up on him.
“Caleb,” she gasped, Caleb imagined her standing at the phone clutching her chest. “Oh my god, is it really you?” Caleb could hear her crying softly.
“Yes, mum, it is me. I just wanted to let you know that I am coming home, back to Sydney. I have a few things that I want to take care of.”
“Really? You’re coming home?”
“Yes mum, I’m coming home.”
“When?”
“I’m going to leave first thing in the morning, I should be back home by tomorrow afternoon, early evening at the latest. Why don’t you and dad come over tomorrow night for dinner, we’ll order in from that Irish place you like so much.”
“Really?” He hated the hesitant eagerness in her voice. Had he really been that horrid to her, chased her away that much that she now questioned her place in his life? “You want us to come over tomorrow for dinner?”
“Yes mum, I do. We can talk about Sam’s memorial; I can tell you my plans.”
“Caleb, we don’t have to.”
“I want to talk about him mum, I am ready to talk about him.” Caleb remained firm.
“Okay then Caleb, we will see you tomorrow evening. Caleb?” Judy called out just before Caleb hung up the phone.
“Yes mum.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too mum.” He disconnected the call, feeling lighter than he had in months. Everything would be okay, or it wouldn’t, but either way, he was not going to go down without a fight, that was for certain. Returning back inside, Caleb left his mobile phone on the coffee table, using the room phone to call down to the reception and request a wakeup call for the following morning, and then, fully clothed, he flopped across the king sized bed, feet dangling off the edge, and drifted off to sleep.
Laughing, Caleb turned to look at Sam, his eyes twinkling. “See,” he couldn’t help teasing the other man, “I knew you would have a good time tonight Sammy.”
“I always have a good time with you little brother,” Sam ruffled Caleb’s perfectly lacquered hair, deliberately squashing the rock star ‘ruffled fresh from bed’ style that Caleb had spent hours perfecting earlier that night. “But we can’t all be irresponsible rockstars now can we, Callie?” Sam used the childhood nickname he knew Caleb detested so much, knowing it would get a rise out of him. “Some of us actually have to work to earn a living!” It was the same banter that always existed between them, the ribbing and poking fun that was laced with the love that comes from being part of a family.
“Work?!” snorted Caleb, “Ha! As if! You’re a partner in a law firm Sammy, how much work can you possibly do? Don’t you have a staff of people all waiting to jump to your command?” Caleb’s raucous laugh mingled with Sam’s deep chortle.
“Staff? That’s your department brother dear, how many do you have now? Eighteen? Ninete-”
“Watch out!” Caleb’s panicked shout interrupts Sam, and he blinks once, surprise etching his features. The unrelenting screech of bare metal tyre rims on bitumen reaches a crescendo before fading into silence, the world turning black, the only sound an incessant beep, beep, beep.
It took Caleb a minute to realise that the beeping was his mobile phone, and another minute to pad out to the lounge room to retrieve it off the co
ffee table. He checked his text messages quickly, a couple from his parents wondering if he had gotten away okay, one from his agent double checking if Caleb was sure he wanted to do the morning shows, and one from Gabby. Caleb’s heart skipped a beat as he opened it with trembling fingers.
They are transferring dad to the St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney, mum said you would want to know.
Good, St Vincent’s was the best in Sydney for cardiac patients, and it had the added benefit of only being twelve minutes from Caleb’s house. Caleb sent a quick text back to his parents, letting them know he was heading out the door now, one to his agent saying an emphatic yes, and then one to Gabby, letting her know he was grateful she had told him, and that he would be thinking of them all. He waited a few moments, but there was no reply.
With a resigned sigh, Caleb showered, dressed, checked out and was pulling out of the parking garage before it was even time for the receptionist to call him with his wake-up call. Caleb loved this time of the morning when the world around him was still waking up. He swung into the drive thru of a popular fast-food chain to grab a coffee, treated himself to a chocolate iced donut with sprinkles on top, and then re-joined the traffic, slipping in behind a semi-trailer, content to just relax and take his time in getting home, not in any hurry. As Caleb sipped at his coffee and chewed on his sticky donut, he let his mind wander. It was a curious thing, he thought, to realise that he was not at all anxious about returning home. Even after all of his nightmares, after his guilt and pushing others away, he was oddly calm about going home. He was ready now, ready to face up to Sam’s death, to say goodbye and to move on.
His parents were already waiting when Caleb pulled into the driveway of his Sydney house, he could see the worry etched on to their faces and was quick to reassure them that everything was okay. “Mum, Dad, I got stuck in traffic.”
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