“Caleb,” his mother pulled him into a tight hug, tears misting her eyes. “I missed you so much, I am so glad that you are home.”
“Me too mum,” he squeezed her back. He had missed this sense of family, missed his mother’s warm embraces and his father’s quiet looks. “Come on, I’m starving, let’s get some food.” He laughed, lightening the mood. As promise, Caleb ordered from his mother’s favourite place, O’Malley’s restaurant, the trio feasting on baked potatoes loaded with toppings, hearty lamb stew, and fresh crusty bread rolls. They spoke of mundane things, of safe topics, while they ate. They discussed the weather, his need for a haircut, what his parents were planting in their garden this year. All the while Sam was at the back of Caleb’s mind, patiently waiting.
“Would you like some dessert mum?” Caleb offered, knowing his mother’s sweet tooth.
“What do you have?”
“Actually, I’m not sure,” he crossed the room into the kitchen, opening the freezer and peering in. “Chocolate ice cream, fruit tarts, chocolate brownies...” he trailed off, waiting for an answer.
“I’ll have a small bowl of ice cream please.” Caleb fished out the container of ice cream, carrying it to the bench. Opening it, he stared, bursting into laughter. “Caleb, what’s so funny?”
“Sorry mum, no ice cream after all,” Caleb held up the container, full of a jar of whipping cream and three ice cubes, “just another one of Sam’s practical jokes.” He saw the worried glance that passed between his parents, his laughter dying.
“What? It is okay to talk about him, we need, I need, to talk about him. I’ll surely go crazy if I don’t.”
“Caleb,” it was his fathers worried warning that left him breathless.
“What?” Caleb snarled. “Now we can’t talk about him? You wanted me to talk about him for weeks, you wouldn’t shut up about it! Now suddenly you don’t want me to. What is it? Am I only allowed to talk about Sam when it suits you?” Caleb knew he was being unfair, but he couldn’t stop himself, it was as if a dam had burst inside of him. “He was my brother, mine! Do you think that I didn’t see, didn’t know, that you loved him more than me? Do you think I don’t know that you wished it was me who had died instead of Sam? Do you think that I don’t wish that too? Sam was eminently more than I was, than I am, than I ever will be. I know that. you were right, it should have been me, not Sam, who had died that night.”
“Caleb, we never thought that, never, we-” His mother tried to placate him.
“Don’t lie to me,” Caleb’s voice was anguished. “I heard you say it, I heard you say that it should have been me that had died, not Sam.”
“What?” His father was confused, his mother openly weeping now, distress clouding her features. “We never said...” Caleb’s dad trailed off. “Caleb, when was this?”
“In the hospital.” Caleb replied flatly. “I don’t blame you for saying that, you only said what everyone else was thinking anyway.”
“Caleb, that isn’t what we said,” his father started. “I mean, those were the words I spoke, but the context was very different. You see,” his father moved closer to Caleb, “your mother hadn’t left your side, the doctors came to see us, but she refused to leave you, so I went instead. What you heard was me relaying the doctors message to your mother. They had told me that you should have died in that crash Caleb, not Sam. Based on your positions in the car, it should have been you that we all lost. Sam gave his life to save yours Caleb, he threw his body across yours moments before the crash, he saved your life Caleb, at the cost of his. His death was not in vain, and it was not your fault. He died for love Caleb, and while we never wanted to ever have to lose any of our children before us, the way that he died, selflessly protecting the brother that he adored, well,” his dad cleared his throat, “that gives us great comfort.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Caleb didn’t know what to say. He could hear sobs wrenching, echoing in his ears. Were they his? His mother’s? He wasn’t sure. His head was spinning, was it true? He couldn’t remember much from the crash, the doctors had said that it was perfectly normal, that he may never remember everything that had happened, a combination of the concussion and the sneaky way in which a brain tried to protect a person from the full knowledge of what had happened. An in-built protection system. “Why? Why would he do that?” Caleb’s voice sounded far away, even to his own ears. “Why would he give up his own life, to save me? Why? He was a lawyer for crying out loud, he made a difference, he had his whole life ahead of him, why would he do such a stupid thing?”
“Caleb, don’t you dare!” His mother was shouting now, really shouting. “You make people happy Caleb, your music does that, it brings people together. There is no comparison, don’t even try, there is no difference to how important Sam was to how important you are, no difference at all, you both made a difference to people, you just did it in different ways, and Sam knew that”.
“He didn’t need to die.” Caleb spoke more to himself than to anybody else.
“No,” his mother whispered hoarsely, “but he did, and we just have to try our best to go on without him here with us.”
“I miss him, I miss him so much, I just want him back here with me.” Caleb sobbed.
“I know you do; we all do.” Caleb’s mother embraced him, holding her youngest tightly in her arms, his father coming up behind them and wrapping his arms around them both. Caleb wasn’t sure how long they stayed there like this, the three of them holding each other and crying, and he didn’t care. It was a release, it was as if a valve had been shut off inside of Caleb for far too long, tonight’s dinner had opened it, allowed the contents to stream out. He knew that he would always miss Sam, would always wish that he was here with him, but tonight had helped him to feel lighter, to feel a little more settled within himself. He hadn’t killed his brother after all, it had not been his fault that Sam had died. Sam had died willingly, instinctively, in order to protect Caleb. Sam had given his final breath to his family, a thought that sobered Caleb and made him determined to live regret free.
Once their tears had subsided, Caleb’s mother busied herself with making coffee, bringing it through to the open plan lounge room to join her husband and son once it was ready. Over coffee, Caleb told his parents how he had struggled with Sam’s death, apologising for shutting them out for so long, he regretted that now, he wondered if it would have been easier to cope with losing Sam had he known that Sam had sacrificed himself in order to save Caleb? Caleb told his parents about his visit to Beryl Creek, leaving nothing but the finer details out. He wanted to be honest with them, he didn’t want any secrets from his parents, not anymore.
“Do you love her?” Caleb’s father asked him once he had finished telling him all about Gabby.
“Yes.” Caleb didn’t hesitate, sadness colouring his voice. He wasn’t sure when he had fallen in love with Gabby, but he had. “But it is too late dad, she hates me.”
“Well then, what are you going to do to win her back?”
“I don’t know what else I can do dad, I already offered to buy the bakery from her, to hire her some staff for around the house, until her father recovers, she threw it back in my face.”
“Hmm,” Caleb’s mum said dryly, “I wonder why. Honestly Caleb,” she shook her head, “do you hear yourself? You offered her money, that is all. If I were in her position, I would tell you to get lost as well, seriously, think about how that sounds Caleb, you took her to bed and then you offered her financial compensation. No wonder she said no, you have a lot to learn about women son.”
“I have been such an idiot,” Caleb lamented miserably. “I didn’t think about it like that, how on earth am I ever going to be able to fix this mess?”
“If she loves you, she will forgive you, just don’t do anything tonight okay?” Caleb’s dad cautioned.
“Why not?”
“Caleb, it is two o’clock in the morning, no one is that forgiving!”
Caleb’s par
ents agreed to stay the night, Caleb had more than enough spare bedrooms, and they didn’t relish the thought of driving across the city at this hour of the night. Once in his room, Caleb laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He knew he had to win Gabby back, and he knew how he had to do it, but his plan was a huge gamble, if it failed and she refused him again, he wasn’t quite sure what he would do then. Caleb was determined to leave his past in the past where it belonged, and not bring it into his future, he only hoped Gabby would be able to see that, that she still trusted him enough to listen to him. Having formulated a plan, Caleb found it hard to drift off to sleep, he was restless, he wanted to be moving, putting his plan into action, not twiddling his thumbs waiting until morning. Knowing his father was right, that he should not contact Gabby at this hour, he settled for the next best thing, calling St Vincent’s Hospital and asking after he father. Caleb was reassured after his telephone call, Gabby’s father had undergone surgery, and although he was in a serious condition, he was expected to make a full recovery. Logging in to his laptop, Caleb brought up the website for a well-known florist, and ordered a large bunch of bright flowers to be delivered to Nico in the morning. That done, Caleb settled down for the night, slipping off into a dreamless sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Caleb all but bounced out of bed the following morning, eager to get started on making amends with Gabby. He took his parents out for a leisurely breakfast at a nearby café, happily agreeing to pose for a couple of photographs with fans as he was heading into the café, no doubt making their day. He received a stilted text message from Gabby halfway through breakfast, thanking him for the flowers on behalf of her mother who had thought them beautiful, and spent the rest of the meal with a lovesick grin on his face. His parents made him promise to text them as soon as he got home, Caleb now realising that his parents would no doubt be nervous about saying goodbye to their children every single time from now on. The drive across Sydney was backed up bumper to bumper, a by-product of roadworks according to the local radio news network Caleb tuned in to.
He pulled into Tom’s office building, a sleek high rise, catering to only the very elite, there were no signs on the building, if you knew the address, you were in a different class of people. Caleb boycotted the elevator in favour of the stairs, easily jogging up the three flights to his agents floor. He didn’t have an appointment, had never needed one, a smile and a wink at the receptionist usually did the trick, although now that Caleb thought about it, that seemed like something he shouldn’t be doing anymore, not if he wanted Gabby to keep talking to him at any rate. He needn’t have worried, as he exited the stairs into the foyer, Tom was already there waiting for him.
“Psychic, now are we?” He joked by way of a greeting.
“Your mum called me.” Tom embraced his friend warmly, it was good to see him back in town, and just as good to see him looking happy.
“I see you got a bit of a head start this morning, if those fans gushing to the local television network are anything to go by.” Tom gently chided his friend.
“Why not,” Caleb shrugged, “it feels good to give back. Speaking of which, I want you to book me on Breakfast With Bernie.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Tom opened his office door, motioning for Caleb to go on in ahead of him. “You cook now?” Tom could not have been more surprised than if Caleb had asked him to book him for dental surgery, so famous was Caleb for being unable to cook anything.
“Kind of,” Caleb confessed sheepishly, “it is a long story, just do it for me, please?”
“Does this have something to do with Gabby?”
“Seriously? How do you know about that?”
“Your mum.”
“You two are worse than a pair of old women, gossiping over the fence.” Caleb sighed, then told his friend his plan, wanting to confide in someone rather than seeking approval for it.
Caleb spent the entire day holed up with Tom, along with Nate, drummer of the Three Odd Lizards, and Alex, lead vocals of the Three Odd Lizards. Caleb, Nate, and Alex had been best friends since high school, connecting through a love of music and a desire to flout the rules. While the latter had changed, the former had not, and the three friends greeted each other as if they had only parted hours before, picking up their conversation as if one of them had merely returned form the bathroom instead of a twelve month self-imposed hiatus. There were no questions asked, instead, the three friends embraced each other warmly, accepting, forgiving, and then sat down and got back to work. The day was spent going over the schedule for the following few days, it was one of the busiest schedules the Three Odd Lizards had needed to adhere to in recent years, but it was time. Tom was in complete agreeance, it was time the world was put on notice, Caleb and the Three Odd Lizards were back.
By the time Caleb finally returned home that evening, it was close to midnight. He shot a quick text message off to his father, internally debated about sending one to Gabby or not, but ultimately decided not to, instead, opting for a long swim in the pool before heading to bed. The next few days were going to be brutal, Caleb and the Three Odd Lizards were booked to do a series of interviews with the local television networks, including several of the morning shows, as well as a couple of game shows and a cooking show. On top of which, there were magazine interviews and photo shoots, a couple of charity events, and Caleb still needed to convince Gabby that he loved her and that she really ought to stop being so stubborn and just agree to marry him. It was while he was mentally designed Gabby’s wedding ring that Caleb finally fell asleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The television studio lights were way too bright, Caleb was already sweating, and they had yet to ask him any questions. The producers had obviously decided to go with the young, beautiful interviewer, Caleb noted wryly. The irony wasn’t lost on him, hell, eighteen months ago he would have flirted with her throughout the entire interview, before ushering her to her dressing room backstage during the commercial break. Surprisingly, he wasn’t the least bit wistful of those days. Alex and Nate sat either side of Caleb, flanking him. Caleb knew that they were on Tom’s orders to step in should anyone have the audacity to dare enquire about Sam. Caleb knew that his parents would be watching, they always did, and he hoped that Gabby and Maria would be as well.
The interview started off generically enough, there were the standard questions relating to the Three Odd Lizards touring schedule and the exciting new music that they had been working on, before the interviewer graced Caleb with an over the top sweetness smile and stated “Now tell me Caleb, I heard that you got yourself stranded in Berry Creek,” she shuddered, “I cannot even imagine how that must have been for you, please, tell everyone tuning in today, however did you survive it?”
“It was Beryl Creek, Natasha,” Caleb ignored her ill attempts at flirting, and instead shot the television camera one of his sexiest smiles, “and to be honest with you all, it was a little slice of paradise. They have the best bakery that I have ever been into, seriously, the cakes and pastries that they sell, mmmm hmmmmm,” Caleb smacked his lips together in anticipation, “utterly divine, and completely sinful.” He shot the audience a wink.
At this point Caleb had the live audience eating out of his hands, they giggled and oohed and aahed with him.
“My my, did you spend all of your time at this bakery?” Natasha sniped.
“More or less,” Caleb shrugged, not bothering to elaborate. “The bakery is owned by an Italian family, the Bianchi’s. If anyone is up that way, stop in and tell them I said hello, they will treat you right, you won’t be sorry, I promise.” The interview moved on to other things, Caleb happy to let Alex and Nate field questions, his job done. He had put his plan into action, he had put the Bianchi’s bakery on the map. It was a mantra he repeated throughout the day, with each new interview he gave a new plug. By the end of the day, he had spoken about the Bianchi bakery to eight television reporters, sixteen magazine reporters, nine newspaper reporters, and one starst
ruck television cooking show host. Not bad for a day’s work.
One the way home from the last interview of the day, Caleb found himself subconsciously taking a detour, finding himself pulling up in front of St Vincent’s Hospital. He was desperate to go in, to see everyone again, but he didn’t dare, not now that he was back in circulation, not when there was a chance of a reporter seeing him and digging up a story. Instead he sat in his car and dialled Maria’s mobile phone number, waiting for her to answer.
“Hello.”
“Maria? It’s Caleb.”
“Caleb,” she chirped, sounding absolutely delighted to be hearing from him. Caleb smiled in spite of himself. “How are you? I saw you on one of those morning shows today, you looked very dashing, are those other two men in your band as well?”
“Alex and Nate, they sure are, the three of us make up the band, although we do occasionally make use of backup singers. They also happen to be my best friends.” Caleb wasn’t sure why he added the last bit, for some reason he was feeling nervous.
“Well, we all thought that you very fine this morning Caleb, you looked content.” All? Did she mean...Was Gabby and the girls in Sydney too?
“How is...Everyone?” He asked lamely, all the while screaming in his head, Gabby, tell me about Gabby.
“She isn’t here Caleb,” Maria saw right through his ruse. He tried not to let it bother him, but he was disappointed. He had hoped to be able to see her, in person. “She and the girls had to go back to Beryl Creek, Lucia and Sofia have school, and we weren’t sure how long Nico would need to stay in hospital. And then there was the bakery...” Maria trailed off.
“I see, of course, it makes sense. Is, ah, something wrong with the bakery?”
“Caleb,” Maria laughed, such a carefree sound it took Caleb by surprise. “There is nothing wrong with the bakery at all. Gabby called me about an hour after your first television interview, she had just gone to open up for the day, and there was already a queue! Caleb, seriously, you didn’t have to do that, you didn’t have to tell everyone one you had been.”
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