“I want us to be together. We can figure out a way to make this work if we really want it.”
“Is that what you want?” she said, nervous of what his answer would be and what that would mean to her.
“More than anything.”
When she looked into his eyes, she could tell he was being honest, but was it enough?
“I kissed your brother because I knew you’d leave without me.” The truth burst out of her before she could stop it. “I knew the rumors of me with other guys bothered you and I hoped you’d believe them if I kissed him. I tore us apart because you will leave me. Everyone I love leaves me.”
“I’m not going any—”
“For how long?” She couldn’t stop the tears flowing down her cheeks. “A month? A year? Until one of your colleagues gets handsy at the Christmas party? Would you believe me if I said it wasn’t my fault? Or would you blame me because I flirt too much?”
“I love—”
“Love isn’t enough. You need to trust me.”
He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look up at him. “I trust you. I will believe you always.”
“How can I know that?” she whispered.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that I trust you, if you’ll let me.”
She searched those blue eyes she’d always loved. She wanted to believe him. To forget her fears. To not end up alone.
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
She turned and walked out of his room. She grabbed her purse and said goodbye to Sam and Brady before heading out the door. It closed with a final bang.
* * *
Maggie had tried to talk to her about Luke for the past few days, but Penny walked away every time. She just needed to get over him. A few months and she’d be back to her old self and out at the bars, dancing and flirting. Maybe not picking up men....
As she stared out the door of her antiques shop, she rubbed the ache in her chest that had been her constant companion since Luke had left. He’d left himself everywhere she looked. Leaning against the counter while she worked. Teasing her down the aisle while she dusted. Asking her for the story of an old glass bottle.
It wasn’t any better at home. Her couch, her kitchen, her dining room, her bedroom. He was everywhere she turned. Every night she’d wait for the doorbell to ring to let her know he was there. But it never did. She lay awake in her bed for hours, trying to ignore the cold spot beside her that still smelled like him.
Penny sighed. It wouldn’t be so bad if business weren’t so slow. All she had were her thoughts to spin constantly back to Luke.
When the bell over the door rang, she stood and walked around the counter, ready for any distraction.
“I hadn’t heard from you in a while.” Cheryl walked over to the counter, all smiles. “I thought I’d pop in and check up on you.”
“I’m here.” Which was part of the problem. She sank down into a chair.
“What’s going on?” Cheryl sat in the chair next to her. “I know I’m not your most favorite person, but I’ve got a world of experience to share. You can talk to me.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Penny stared out the door at the cars going down Main Street. “I don’t know why I can’t get over him.”
“Man troubles. Was this that handsome man from the other night?” Cheryl leaned back in the chair and crossed her legs.
“Yes.” Penny was not at all certain she wanted to talk to Cheryl about this, but maybe she was the best to understand. “I made him leave.”
“Why?”
“I hate to blame my messed-up childhood but...” She waved her hand as if she had presented something to her audience.
“It has to be more than that.” Cheryl sat quietly for a moment.
Penny wasn’t ready to fill in all the blanks.
“Do you love him?”
“Yes.” With every fiber of her being.
“Then what’s the problem? Doesn’t he love you?”
“Yes.” Penny stood. “Don’t you get it? He loves me and I love him. When he leaves me, I’ll be crushed. Alone.”
“How is that different than now?” Cheryl said softly.
“I left him! So he couldn’t leave me. The first time I made him leave, and this time I left him.” She buried her face in her hands.
“If you love him, why did you leave? Was he bad for you? Into drugs? Gambling? Alcohol?”
Penny shook her head. “He would leave me.”
“Why, Penny?” her mother pressed.
Penny spun around. “Because you did. Because everyone I ever loved and who claimed to love me leaves and they don’t come back.”
Cheryl looked down at her hands and took a deep breath. “I’m back now.”
“But how can I trust that you won’t leave me again? He left me before, so how can I trust he won’t do it again?”
“Oh, baby.” Tears welled in Cheryl’s eyes and trailed down her face. “You have to have faith and let go of your fear. If you don’t, you’ll just shut everyone out. Wouldn’t you rather have a year more with him if it meant you were happy for that year?”
Fear? Faith? “What if he doesn’t want me?”
“That’s just fear talking.” Cheryl stood and put her arm around Penny. “You can’t let fear speak for you. Wouldn’t it be worse to never see him again? I know I hurt you, Penny. I can’t make up for the past, but don’t let my problems and my regrets make you not live your life.”
“But how do I know?”
Cheryl smiled at her. “You already know. You wouldn’t be miserable if you thought you’d done the right thing.”
Her mother was making sense. Luke had been pressing her to reveal more of herself, and every fear she’d shown him, he’d held her through. “What do I do?”
“Call him, go to him, get him to come back here or go be with him.” Her mother smiled. “I’ll be here when you come around.”
“But my shop—”
“Won’t die without you.”
“You won’t leave?” The ten-year-old girl inside her needed to hear the words.
“I’m never leaving your life again. No matter what you throw at me. I’m here to support you and need to be part of your life. Even if we aren’t in the same town.” Cheryl hugged her again, and this time Penny opened her arms and returned the hug.
“Well, then,” Penny said, wiping the tears from her eyes, “I need to call Maggie.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Luke finished up his notes in his patient’s file. It was quarter past one in the morning, but he knew sleep wouldn’t come easily. He’d been back at the hospital for a week, and in that time he’d worked more fiercely than ever to keep his mind from dwelling on Penny.
His first days off weren’t for another week, so he couldn’t do anything until then. He’d already made plans to go back to Tawnee Valley for that weekend. He wanted to check up on Sam, but mostly he wanted to convince Penny that they belonged together whether it was here or there or anywhere in between.
He scrubbed his hand down his face and stared at the hospital-green walls. He should go home and try to sleep. He was supposed to scrub in on a surgery in the morning.
Stacking his paperwork, he scooted back in his chair, then grabbed his keys. As he headed to the elevator, a nurse called out to him.
“Doctor Ward?”
Luke walked toward the nurse. “What is it?”
“Someone’s here to see you.” The nurse glanced down the hallway.
“At this hour?”
She nodded. “I put her in room twenty.”
“Thanks.” Luke grabbed a cup of coffee from the nurse’s station and went to the room she’d indicated. “How can I hel—”
Sitting on the bed was Penny. “Hi.”
Luke closed the door and crossed the room to stand before her, but he didn’t touch her, afraid she wouldn’t be real. “What are you— When did you—”
“Cat got your tongue?” Penny swung her crossed leg. “Never thought I’d make Luke Ward speechless. Where are your color-coded index cards when you need them?”
“I missed you.” Luke’s pulse raced. She’d come to him.
“I missed you, too.” She pushed her hair behind her ear. “So, Doctor, I’ve been having these pains right here.” She pressed her hand to her chest.
“Is that so?” He wanted to reach out and touch her so badly, but he held himself back. If he touched her, he wouldn’t stop until they were both naked.
“It started before you left.” Her brown eyes held his gaze. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you. I was so scared that you would leave me that I didn’t want to give you that power over my heart. You left so easily the last time—”
“Because I was scared, too. I loved you so much it hurt and seeing you with Sam did a number on me. But I think you knew that. Otherwise you would have picked any other guy to kiss.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t need you to be sorry. I need you to have a little faith in me and trust that I won’t ever intentionally try to hurt you.”
“I couldn’t help trying to drive you away this time, too....”
“It didn’t work. I was planning on coming back to you every chance I got. Even if it was just to get inside your bedroom for a day or two, I knew eventually I’d win you over. You make my life fun and sexy. You remind me of the man I am when my logical side wants to take over. I want you with me for as long as you’ll have me. If I thought you’d say yes to marrying me, I’d fly us to Vegas on the next flight out.”
She smiled and reached out to hold his face. “Someday on the marriage thing. First, let’s try to make this work. You make the fear worthwhile. You make it easy to forget to be afraid. Are you ready to trust me?”
He lowered his mouth until just a hair’s breadth was between them. “With my life and with my heart. I love you, Penny.”
“I love you, Luke.” She pressed her lips to his, sealing their love with perfection.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from TEXAS BORN by Diana Palmer.
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One
Michelle Godfrey felt the dust of the unpaved road all over her jeans. She couldn’t really see her pants. Her eyes were full of hot tears. It was just one more argument, one more heartache.
Her stepmother, Roberta, was determined to sell off everything her father had owned. He’d only been dead for three weeks. Roberta had wanted to bury him in a plain pine box with no flowers, not even a church service. Michelle had dared her stepmother’s hot temper and appealed to the funeral director.
The kindly man, a friend of her father’s, had pointed out to Roberta that Comanche Wells, Texas, was a very small community. It would not sit well with the locals if Roberta, whom most considered an outsider, was disrespectful of the late Alan Godfrey’s wishes that he be buried in the Methodist church cemetery beside his first wife. The funeral director was soft-spoken but eloquent. He also pointed out that the money Roberta would save with her so-called economy plans, would be a very small amount compared to the outrage she would provoke. If she planned to continue living in Jacobs County, many doors would close to her.
Roberta was irritated at the comment, but she had a shrewd mind. It wouldn’t do to make people mad when she had many things to dispose of on the local market, including some cattle that had belonged to her late husband.
She gave in, with ill grace, and left the arrangements to Michelle. But she got even. After the funeral, she gathered up Alan’s personal items while Michelle was at school and sent them all to the landfill, including his clothes and any jewelry that wasn’t marketable.
Michelle had collapsed in tears. That is, until she saw her stepmother’s wicked smile. At that point, she dried her eyes. It was too late to do anything. But one day, she promised herself, when she was grown and no longer under the woman’s guardianship, there would be a reckoning.
Two weeks after the funeral, Roberta came under fire from Michelle’s soft-spoken minister. He drove up in front of the house in a flashy red older convertible, an odd choice of car for a man of the cloth, Michelle thought. But then, Reverend Blair was a different sort of preacher.
She’d let him in, offered him coffee, which he refused politely. Roberta, curious because they never had visitors, came out of her room and stopped short when she saw Jake Blair.
He greeted her. He even smiled. They’d missed Michelle at services for the past two weeks. He just wanted to make sure everything was all right. Michelle didn’t reply. Roberta looked guilty. There was this strange rumor he’d heard, he continued, that Roberta was preventing her stepdaughter from attending church services. He smiled when he said it, but there was something about him that was strangely chilling for a religious man. His eyes, ice-blue, had a look that Roberta recognized from her own youth, spent following her father around the casinos in Las Vegas, where he made his living. Some of the patrons had that same penetrating gaze. It was dangerous.
“But of course, we didn’t think the rumor was true,” Jake Blair continued with that smile that accompanied the unblinking blue stare. “It isn’t, is it?”
Roberta forced a smile. “Um, of course not.” She faltered, with a nervous little laugh. “She can go whenever she likes.”
“You might consider coming with her,” Jake commented. “We welcome new members in our congregation.”
“Me, in a church?” She burst out laughing, until she saw the two bland faces watching her. She sounded defensive when she added, “I don’t go to church. I don’t believe in all that stuff.”
Jake raised an eyebrow. He smiled to himself, as if at some private joke. “At some point in your life, I assure you, your beliefs may change.”
“Unlikely,” she said stiffly.
He sighed. “As you wish. Then you won’t mind if my daughter, Carlie, comes by to pick Michelle up for services on Sunday, I take it?”
Roberta ground her teeth together. Obviously the minister knew that since Michelle couldn’t drive, Roberta had been refusing to get up and drive her to church. She almost refused. Then she realized that it would mean she could have Bert over without having to watch for her stepdaughter every second. She pursed her lips. “Of course not,” she assured him. “I don’t mind at all.”
“Wonderful. I’ll have Carlie fetch you in time for Sunday school each week and bring you home after church, Michelle. Will that work for you?”
Michelle’s sad face lit up. Her gray eyes were large and beautiful. She had pale blond hair and a flawless, lovely complexion. She was as fair as Roberta was dark. Jake got to his feet. He smiled down at Michelle.
“Thanks, Reverend Blair,” she said in her soft, husky voice, and smiled at him with genuine affection.
“You’re quite welcome.”
She walked him out. Roberta didn’t offer.
He turned at the steps and lowered his voice. “If you ever need help, you know where we are,” he said, and he wasn’t smiling.
She sighed. “It’s just until graduation. Only a few more months,” she said quietly. “I’ll work hard to get a scholarship so I can go to college. I have one picked out in San Antonio.”
He cocked his head. “What do you want to do?”
Her face brightened. “I want to write. I want to be a reporter.”
He laughed. “Not much money in that, you know. Of course, you could go and talk to Minette Carson. She runs the local newspaper.”
She flushed. “Yes, sir,” she said politely, “I already did. She was the one who recommended that I go to college and major in journalism. She said working for a magazine, even a digital one, was the way to go. She’s very kind.”
“She is. And so is her husband,” he added, referring to Jacobs County sheriff Hayes Carson.
“I don’t really know him. Except he brought his iguana to school a few years ago. That was really fascinating.” She laughed.
Jake just nodded. “Well, I’ll get back. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will. Thank you.”
“Your father was a good man,” he added. “It hurt all of us to lose him. He was one of the best emergency-room doctors we ever had in Jacobs County, even though he was only able to work for a few months before his illness forced him to quit.”
She smiled sadly. “It was a hard way to go, for a doctor,” she replied. “He knew all about his prognosis and he explained to me how things would be. He said if he hadn’t been so stubborn, if he’d had the tests sooner, they might have caught the cancer in time.”
“Young lady,” Jake said softly, “things happen the way they’re meant to. There’s a plan to everything that happens in life, even if we don’t see it.”
“That’s what I think, too. Thank you for talking to her,” she added hesitantly. “She wouldn’t let me learn how to drive, and Dad was too sick to teach me. I don’t really think she’d let me borrow the car, even if I could drive. She wouldn’t get up early for anything, especially on a Sunday. So I had no way to get to church. I’ve missed it.”
ONE NIGHT WITH THE BEST MAN Page 18