Thicker Than Water

by Dylan Allen

  If he’d punched me in the face, I don’t think I could have been more surprised. I didn’t know that he only “tolerated” my activism. I’ll clearly need to work this out on my own. I can see now that neither one of them really want Lucía to be a permanent part of my life. And that is not an option for me. I don’t just want her, I need her. I love her. She’s changed my life.

  I give him a curt nod.

  I look at him, as if seeing him for the first time. The disappointment I feel, is crushing. But all I say is, “I understand. I’ll go to New York.” I then turn and leave to head to the office. I’ve got a lot to do.

  38

  Lucía

  Reece has been in New York City since Monday. He left while I was sleeping and I haven’t seen him since Sunday night. This morning, he called to say he’s extending his trip for one more day. He wouldn’t be back until Friday. The project he went to work on needs more time. He sounded so happy when we spoke that I didn’t want to tell him about my conversation with the lawyer.

  She’d been able to squeeze me in on Monday afternoon. I left her office with a chasm in my heart as wide as the Grand Canyon. I’d wished that I was the kind of person who could bury my head in the sand and pretend that everything was fine.

  What she told me devastated me. I don’t have any good options. My DACA application is still pending. She’s seeing a trend of the revocation of the status of vocal immigration activists since February of this year. She thought it likely that ICE was already aware of my status and was just waiting for the application to be denied before they pounced. My heart leapt into my throat. Fear, real and potent, chilled me.

  She advised me to voluntarily depart. That it would increase my chances of being able to re-enter. I’d be barred from even trying to re-enter for three years. And there was no guarantee they would grant my request when I made it. Yet, it was my best hope. There were no other options for me to stay in the United States legally. When I was leaving she gave me her card and told me that I should call her if I got into any trouble and that she could help me with the voluntary departure process. I thanked her and left.

  Three years. I’d have to find a way to live in a foreign country for three years. I wonder if my mother will come with me. I certainly have the money to support us. I could get us a house; I could still write. I don’t have to be here to publish my books. The screenplay was done, I’m sure everything else that needed to be done could be done by email or over the phone. I could leave. But I can’t leave Reece. Not for three years. What would happen to us?

  Dan, Todd and I submitted our screenplay this morning, signed all the paperwork and then went out for a celebratory drink. I’m going back to Malibu to get my things. With Reece gone, staying there alone hasn’t felt comfortable. And with the screenplay done, it’s time for me to go back to Los Feliz. I need to tell Jessica and my mother everything that’s happened and I’m dreading it.

  My driver drops me off and I ask him to come back in the morning. I need to pack and clean and I think I’ll be here for hours, so I might as well spend the night. And that’s how I spend my day. When Reece calls, for the first time ever, I don’t answer. I can’t make small talk right now and I want him to come back from New York so I can tell him this face-to-face.

  My whole world is crumbling. I can’t believe it’s come to this. I know that I can’t expect Reece to wait for me. The lawyer’s words are starting to swirl in my head, and I put on my headphones and go for a run on the estate. I’ll miss it here, but it was all just a temporary escape from my reality.

  * * *

  When I get back from my run, I see a car I don’t recognize in my driveway. I feel a flick of alarm when the door opens as I approach. Coco steps out and I feel my stomach drop. I’m suddenly acutely aware of how alone I am here. There’s not another soul within shouting distance.

  He leans on the doorframe grinning at me. I haven’t seen him since that day in the boutique. The smile on his face is sinister and I stop my approach and make a stand. “What are you doing here, Coco?” I say, trying to sound like I’m only annoyed. My heart is beating wildly in my chest,

  “You and I need to talk,” he says in a singsong voice.

  “Can we do this at the office in LA? I’m expecting someone soon,” I say, hoping he’ll leave.

  “It won’t take long,” he returns.

  “Coco, I’m not sure what we have to talk about, but I want you to leave. We can do this at work.”

  Without warning he pushes off his perch on the car’s doorframe and walks quickly towards me. He’s even bigger than Reece and he’s moving fast. His facial expression changes from sinister to downright dangerous. Before I can decide whether to run or try to face him, he’s standing in front of me. He grabs my arm so tightly that I feel tears sting the backs of my eyes.

  He drags me toward the car and pushes me roughly against it so I’m facing him. He steps into me, pressing me back, his body flush with mine. And I go from being alarmed to being terrified. “Coco, stop.”

  “Shut up. You’re a fucking cock tease. You smiled at me and then dumped me when you found out Reece wanted to fuck you, too.” He seethes into my face. I am trying to not let my fear show. “Well, now I know all about you. I know your secret, and if you want me to keep quiet, you’re going to start being really nice to me.”

  I can’t restrain my whimper when I feel him rub himself on me. He’s hard and he has me pinned there with his full body weight. I start to struggle. I’m not going to stand here and let this happen. I land a blow on his shin and he steps back and howls in pain. I take the chance to dart past him, but he grabs my wrist and throws me back against the car. My head hits the doorframe and I feel dizzy. I feel the sting from the open palmed slap he gives me before I even see his hand move. He presses himself against me again. Pinning me in place with the full weight of his body. He licks the side of my face. “Oh, don’t worry. I don’t want you right now. You stink,” he says putting his nose in my hair. “I’ll be back for you tonight. Take a shower and cook me something. And if you even think of not being here, I’ll have you turned in and deported so fast your head will spin.”

  He brings his hand up and cups my breast, squeezing it painfully. “I know why Reece is so addicted you. But he’s just fucking you.” I flinch. “Aww, what? You thought you were going to marry Reece? People like him don’t settle down with people like you.” He chuckles. “Don’t worry, you’ll see how good I’ll make it for you. I promise you’ll like it.” He thumbs my nipple and I have to bite my lip to contain my plea for him to stop. I won’t give him the satisfaction.

  He yanks the strap of my sports bra down and bares my breast. A tear rolls down my cheek. “Just a little sample before I leave.” And when I feel his mouth close over my nipple, I can’t stop the sob that escapes. He lifts his head and eyes me with a satisfied smile. “I like that. I want you to cry. It turns me on.”

  He pulls my strap back up and says, “Go. I’ll be back in three hours. And you’d better be here. And don’t even think of calling the police. Because if they come looking for me, they’ll also find you, and then you can kiss this country goodbye.” He releases me and air rushes into my lungs, and I feel bruises in the places that he had me pressed down.

  And like he doesn’t have a care in the world, he gets into his car and drives away.

  I stand there staring after him, and when his car disappears from the drive, I turn and run into the house. I grab my suitcase and throw all my clothes inside. And then, I call Reece.

  He answers almost immediately. “Babe, I was just about to call you. I’m just getting back to my room—” He stops talking when he hears me crying.

  “Lucía, what’s wrong?”

  The concern in his voice and that he’s so far away, break the dam I’ve held on to my emotions this week. I completely break down. I tell him everything. About the lawyer and about Coco. I am a fountain of pain. It gushes from me leaving my body through my tears, my sobs, my word
s.

  “Reece, I have to leave.” Each word feels like the tug of an anchor. They pull me down to a place I thought I’d left behind. My life as I know it, is about to end. Again. “I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t. It won’t end, Reece. It will just get worse. I have to leave.”

  Reece is silent. If it wasn’t for the noise in the background, I might have thought he’d hung up. I know this is a shock to him. I know he feels helpless. But what just happened with Coco has spurred me into action.

  I stand up and start putting my things in a bag while I continue to speak. “I need to get to Los Feliz, get Jessica squared away and let her know I’m leaving. I only need a week to find a place, pack and go. The last week has been too much. How much am I supposed to lose because of a crime I didn’t commit? I didn’t ask to be brought here. I didn’t ask to be raised here. But I was. It’s the only home I’ve known. I’ve only tried to make something of my life, but I know now that I’ll never be able to do that here,” I say into the phone.

  Reece has been silent and when he speaks I almost don’t recognize his voice; it’s lost its timbre. His tone is robotic and hollow. “I’m going to make sure Coco never touches you or anyone else again. I’ve just ordered a car to come for you. The driver’s name is John, he’s one of the office drivers who drives my father. He’s going to take you to my parents’ house. Please wait for me, I’m heading to the airport now.” His voice breaks on that last word and he clears his throat. When he speaks again he sounds more like himself. “I’m so sorry that I left you. I’m so sorry that he touched you. God, I’m just so sorry for everything.” I can hear the depth of his anguish. I can’t quantify my own feelings. I just know that I need to get out of here.

  “Reece, I love you. When you get here, we’ll figure it out,” I say and curse the distance that’s depriving me of the ability to touch him.

  “Go and get Jessica and take her with you to my parents. I don’t know that you’ll be safe in Los Feliz. Coco knows where that house is.”

  I start to protest; I don’t want to go to his parents’ house.

  “Please, I know that you’re not crazy about my mom, but you will be safe there. I’m calling them now; they’ll be expecting you.”

  I sigh, too tired to argue. “I’ll ask Jessica to pick up my mother. Would it be okay for her to come, too?

  “Yes, of course,” he replies sounding relieved.

  39

  Reece

  It’s been two weeks since I got back from New York after all hell broke loose. I’m pacing my parent’s living room waiting for Lucía and her mother to come down. I’m taking them to the airport. They’re leaving. The last two weeks have been full of planning and putting out fires. As I traveled back from New York, I was in denial. I was sure I would get back and be able to fix things.

  I begged Lucía to let me find an option that didn’t include her having to leave. I’d spoken to a lawyer and told her that she could apply for advanced parole while her case was pending. That would have meant she could stay during that time.

  She refused. That conversation was, by far, the most heated we’ve ever had. We’d been having breakfast at my house a couple of days after I got back. Her face was still bruised from where Coco had hit her. I wanted to kill him. Not just figuratively. She had a bruise on her breast that wouldn’t fade and I swear I wanted to cut every finger off the hand that put them there. My anger is inconsolable. But so is my fear of her leaving. The panic I felt when I realized that she was determined left me shell shocked. But it was nothing compared to the unnervingly humbling knowledge that she was also right. But I didn’t give up without a fight.

  Her response was potent with anger and when I’d brought up the idea of Advanced Parole, she’d said, “I’m not going to be a conditional resident, Reece. I’ve had enough of it and you can’t ask it of me.” Tears trailed down her face and I hurt for her. But, I’d felt like I was fighting for my life in that moment. This woman had begun to feel like the most important part of my life. I loved her. I didn’t want her living in another country where I couldn’t protect her.

  When I’d told her as much, her response was laced with a bitterness I’d never heard before. “You can’t protect me here, Reece. If they walked into this house right now and put handcuffs on me, you couldn’t stop them.” She looked away from me, gazing out the window. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping . . . like it was just any other day. And not the worst day of my life.

  That truth, delivered like rapidly fired arrows, hit their mark. “I fucking know, Lucía,” I seethed at her. My hands gripping my coffee mug so tightly I’d heard the ceramic protest and threaten to crack. “But I am the man who loves you. I need to try.”

  She got up and came to sit on my lap. She looped her arms around my neck and looked at me. Her dark eyes luminescent with a plea for me to understand.

  “Try by helping me to leave. Let me go so I can come back to you. I want to be a full partner to you, Reece. I want to travel with you. I want to be able to vote. I want to drive. I want to speed down a deserted highway and know that if I get pulled over by a cop, the worst thing that will happen is that I’ll get a ticket.” She touched her bruised cheek. “I want to be able to call the police when I’m in danger and not worry that it will mean I’ll be thrown out of the country that is the only home I’ve very known.”

  I stared at her, my heart pounding as I settled into the realization that I couldn’t stop this. “Okay. Let’s do it.” And then I picked her up, took her back to bed and started saying goodbye.

  My parents, very quickly, realized how vulnerable Lucía is. What Coco did to her—the way he violated and terrorized her—shook them. My response showed them, that no matter what they said or did, I wouldn’t be giving up on the woman I love. They have thrown all their weight around as we’ve all worked to help Lucía get ready to leave. My father has been good friends with the Mexican Foreign Secretary since they were both young coeds at Yale. He called him and made sure Lucía wouldn’t have any trouble settling in Mexico. He coordinated with various agencies to get her updated Mexican identification documents.

  My mother flew to Baja to look at the house they’d chosen online, herself. She’s also played hostess to Lucía’s mother for the last week.

  I look down at my bruised hand and smile at the pain in it as I flex my fingers. I went to Coco’s arraignment this morning.

  It was only going to take five minutes, but I wanted to see him, and I wanted him to see me.

  He’s lucky the police found him before I did. After I saw Lucía’s bruised eye and arms, I saw red and I went looking for him. I drove to all the places he used to hang out and only stopped when I found out he’d already been arrested.

  I watched him as he trudged into the courtroom, accompanied by the police. Apparently, he’s spreading his special brand of charm to his fellow inmates. He looks like he got his ass beat. He’s got black eyes, and a bloody lip. Good, I hope there’s plenty more where that came from.

  I didn’t know this kind of rage was possible. I abhor violence. But right now I feel like I could tear Coco apart with my bare hands. He threatened Lucía. He fucking touched her.

  I watched him as they led him into court. He scanned the court room as if he’d been expecting someone. His bruised eyes widened slightly when he saw me. His lips curled into a sneer. “She tastes real good, Reece,” he said with a wink. I didn’t care that he was handcuffed and it wasn’t going to be a fair fight. I didn’t give a shit about anything but making him pay. I lunged for him.

  My movement caused a commotion in the courtroom, but no one managed to stop me before I reached him and I punched him twice, hard in the ribs. “If you even think about coming near her again, Coco, you’ll wish you were back in jail.”

  I say this in his hear as they pulled me off him. He laid there groaning, covering his head. “Fuck you, Reece,” he mumbled as he was helped to his feet. I didn’t even respond; officers cautioned me and told m
e to leave.

  Now, I’m standing here waiting for Lucía to come down. She’s leaving tomorrow. It’s her last night and I’m taking her back to Malibu for the night. We’ve spent the last two weeks planning, house hunting and saying goodbye. After what Coco did, my father did a one-eighty. He still thinks this is the best plan, her leaving, but he also saw the strength of Lucía’s character and how undeserved she is of all the shit she has to deal with because of her status.

  She meant it when she said she’d had enough. But she wasn’t giving up. We talked to her lawyer and decided that she would voluntarily depart. She can apply for re-entry in three years and while that’s pending, maybe she’ll be granted permission to enter the country. That’s three years away. But we’re going to conquer that three years. And we’ll conquer anything else that gets in our way. Even if that’s the United States government. This love of ours is an infinite source of stamina. If they put an obstacle in our way, we’ll get over it, dig a hole underneath it, outlast it. We both have the same exact end goal. To be together.

  She’s been stoic about this since that morning we argued. The focus has been on logistics. We’ve put our feelings aside so we could do what we needed to do. We hadn’t really talked about what we’d do once she was gone. How often would we see each other?

  We bought her a car here that we’re shipping. She needs to take an official driving class, and then she’s got to get her license. She also had to open a bank account and set up her life there.

  She’ll continue to write her book. We’ve agreed that she can do remote interviews around the movie’s release and premier. And I’ll be back and forth until we can finally live in the same place.

  Three years is a long time to live separately. But if it meant that we could have a lifetime together, we’d do it.