by Ashley Emma
But no one was there. He was already gone.
She spent a few more minutes searching but quickly gave up. Then she got back in her car and slammed the door in frustration. When she pulled into the Masts’ driveway, she went inside quietly, since everyone was in bed. She plugged her cell phone into an outlet Uncle Gideon had in the basement for charging the rechargeable batteries for his battery-operated things. It was the only source of electricity in the entire house, and she was grateful her relatives had it in their home.
Upstairs, she undressed and yanked her kapp off. She removed her holster and put the gun on the table by her bed. Then she put on her pajamas, sat in the chair by the window, and stared into the night.
Liv could see where her old house used to be in the distance, and next door was the Sullivan house. From here she could see almost their entire yard.
She scanned the Masts’ yard for any sign of movement, but she saw nothing.
Who was this man? He was probably middle aged or younger and pretty athletic, since he got away so quickly. And Liv could run pretty fast.
How did he know about the fire? Since the Amish were opposed to investigating crimes against them, the fire was never reported.
Was the killer an Amish man? How else would he know so much about her family’s death? Perhaps the news had spread throughout the town to the outsiders.
How could she forget and call it an “incident” like the rest of the community, when she knew it had been an unpunished murder? They had all been able to forgive, but she held on to the bitterness in her heart.
Rage burned within her as the mysterious man’s words plagued her mind, filling her brain with the black smoke of anger. So many questions rose up from the darkness. She had to catch him. She wouldn’t be at peace until she did.
Liv sat there for several minutes, then gave up and fell on the bed. She tucked herself in and rested the pistol on the blanket beside her, something she always did. It made her feel safe just knowing it was there.
If she caught anyone sneaking around or trying to hurt another victim, they’d be sorry.
Chapter Seven
Early the next morning, Olivia heard the sounds of Aunt Mary cooking breakfast—her humming, pots and pans clanging harmoniously, and bacon sizzling on the stovetop. Liv had forgotten how big a production breakfasts were here. It was normal for a family to have eggs, bacon, sausage, and homemade biscuits or pancakes on a daily basis. She’d grown accustomed to eating a granola bar or a banana on her way to work, if anything.
She rolled over and looked at the battery-operated clock. Seven o’clock. Aunt Mary had probably been up for a while. Liv pulled her blankets up around her, and her eyes slowly began to close again as the memories of the night before began slowly coming back.
“Come on, Olivia, time for breakfast!” Maria stuck her head in the doorway.
The gun!
Olivia panicked and quickly threw her covers over the weapon, but Maria was gone in a flash of pink skirts and clearly had not noticed it. Liv had not expected a family member to come barging into her room. She should have, but she was used to living alone.
Sighing in relief, she knew she would have to be more careful about where she put that. She got up and dressed, adjusting her holster, then hurried to the basement to retrieve her phone, making sure it was on silent and also hiding it in her holster. She couldn’t very well pretend to want to be Amish again with her phone going off in church.
Church. Great. She sighed, not looking forward to what would most likely be a three-hour sermon in both English and Pennsylvania Dutch. She remembered most of the latter language because, like most Amish children, she had learned it before she had learned English.
The family shared a lively breakfast and sang a hymn after eating. Then Uncle Gideon read a passage from the Bible. Liv tried to act like she was paying attention, but she almost nodded off at the table.
They piled into the buggy and set off on the fifteen-minute ride to church. It was a beautiful day, about fifty degrees, and the snow was melting.
Maria looked cute in her light pink dress, but Liv didn’t say so. She knew compliments on beauty made Amish women uncomfortable. But, no doubt about it, Maria was beautiful. Anyone could see that. Her brown hair was pinned back perfectly, and her chestnut eyes were framed by long, dark eyelashes above perfect cheekbones.
“So is there anyone special in your life, Maria?” Liv asked.
“Oh, yes! I am dating Seth Lapp.” She grinned.
“He is such a nice young man,” Aunt Mary added.
“I love him very much.” Maria sighed. “We plan on getting married one day.”
“I’m really happy for you.” Liv sincerely meant it. She wished her own love life could be so simple. Not that she even had one.
They pulled into the churchyard, which was already almost full, and Liv’s heart rate doubled. How would people respond to her?
Maria must have sensed Liv’s anxiety, and she squeezed her hand. “It will be okay. I think they will understand. Even if they don’t believe it was self-defense, they should be forgiving.”
Olivia forced a smile at Maria’s attempt at comforting her. She shouldn’t care what these people thought about her. She wasn’t staying long, anyway.
They walked into the church, which was a two-story building. The bottom floor was where everyone ate, and the second floor was divided into two parts—the church and the school. They walked upstairs, and Liv hoped no one would recognize her. But her appearance had hardly changed in the last several years, except her hair, which was covered.
As the Mast family made their way into the church area, a few people stopped their conversations and stared at her. Then they looked away, trying not to be rude.
Except Diana and Samuel Sullivan, who narrowed their eyes at her. Olivia boldly stared right back at them, and their cold glares rekindled the anger she had felt when Diana had blamed Liv for Jake’s abuse. They were the only Amish people she knew who would ever behave in such a way. They were the only bitter people in the community. Every other Amish person Liv knew was kindhearted and merciful. But the Sullivans were the exception to the rule. They had always been an unhappy family.
“What is she doing here?” Diana whispered.
The Amish were all about forgiveness, but maybe murder was unforgiveable. And from the looks that a few people were now giving her, she knew instantly that Diana and Samuel, Jake’s brother, had tried to make everyone believe that Liv had murdered Jake in cold blood.
Because they didn’t want to admit that Jake had been abusive. Good Amish men were never cruel or abusive. But Jake had not been a good Amish man, had he?
“Everyone, please take your seats,” Bishop Johnson called. Seeing him brought back memories of him encouraging her to forgive the arsonist who had killed her parents and siblings. Though she had tried, she had never been able to.
He began with an opening prayer, then asked if there were any announcements. Captain Branson’s orders rang through her head, how he had asked her to ask the community to accept her again. She knew this was her chance, so she stood up.
“Bishop Johnson, if I may, I would like to ask the church for forgiveness,” she said.
He looked shocked for a moment when he recognized her, then he motioned for her to come forward. “By all means. Certainly.”
As she stood up and made her way to the front, she felt people staring at her. The silence wrapped around her like a damp blanket. But she ignored the awkwardness as she stood in front of the congregation of eighty or so people.
“Good morning.” She clasped her hands together, feigning meekness, keeping her eyes low. What she really wanted to do was tell them all about the importance of justice, and how the fire and Jake’s crimes should have been investigated. They thought they were doing what was best, but she knew so much more about the law now.
“As many of you may know, I am Olivia Mast. I mean…”
She had changed her last name bac
k to Mast after she had left.
“I was Olivia Sullivan, but it’s Olivia Mast now. I left on bad terms, and I want to apologize for how I handled things back then. I would like to explain why I killed my late husband, Jake Sullivan.”
Murmurs resounded through the room, and without waiting for permission, she continued boldly.
“I’m sorry to tell you that Jake abused me throughout our entire marriage, as some of you may now know. I killed him in self-defense. I went to court after, and I was found not guilty. I can prove it. There was plenty of evidence of his abuse, including several injuries he gave me, especially when he tried to strangle me. I am sorry I killed him, and I ask you all for your forgiveness. I would like to become Amish again, if you all will accept me. Like the prodigal son.”
She added that last bit for dramatic effect. And maybe if she related her experience to a Bible story, they would feel more sympathetic toward her. Sure, it would be nice to have everyone’s forgiveness, but she hated lying. Especially to her aunt, uncle, and Maria.
“But she killed my son!”
Olivia turned to see Diana standing, face red with anger. Of course Diana had to go and ruin this.
Samuel cut in, “Who knows what else she is capable of?”
What? Was he implying that she could have killed Bill Sullivan? She was here to catch the killer, not to become the suspect!
“I told you,” she said in a calm voice. “It was self-defense. He was choking me. Ask the police or the judge. They can prove it. They have records and evidence. If I wouldn’t have done what I did, I’d be dead. Just ask them.”
Some had shocked looks on their faces. Samuel and Diana scowled at her. They couldn’t deny the truth when there was proof.
And they knew the truth.
“So will you accept me back?” she asked the group as nicely as she could.
She waited. Some of the people before her looked down when she made eye contact. Some of them whispered among themselves. Some looked at her in consideration.
Uncle Gideon stood up. “Don’t you all think she should have a second chance? She’s been through so much, and she needs our community. We are all sinners and God forgave us. God says if we do not forgive others, He will not forgive us.”
Leave it to Uncle Gideon. She was thankful for him speaking up, even if she did not really think she had sinned by killing Jake in self-defense.
“I agree,” Isaac said, standing up. Maria stood up, then Isaac’s entire family stood in agreement. Slowly and gradually, the entire congregation was standing, kapps or beards bobbing as people nodded. Diana and Samuel turned red where they sat.
“Well, Olivia Mast, welcome back into the community,” Bishop Johnson said.
“Thank you.” Guilt overflowed out of her in the form of a few tears that crept down her cheek, which the congregation probably assumed were tears of joy and gratefulness. Her stomach clenched and she tried not to let her face reveal her true emotions as she made her way back to her seat.
After the sermon, Liv went downstairs with everyone else for lunch. Women began laying out homemade food over several long tables, including pies, sandwiches, salads, and casseroles. Now most of them smiled at her warmly, saying hello and telling her they were glad she was home.
As the women scurried around busily preparing the food, Liv was about to walk around a corner when she heard her name, so she stopped.
“Why do you think Olivia came back after all these years in the Englisher world?”
“Probably because she couldn’t show her face for so long after killing my son.”
That was Diana’s cold voice.
“She made everyone think my son abused her and tried to kill her. But she killed him wrongly.”
“Really? So she made up rumors about Jake?” asked a third voice.
“Yes. I don’t like having her around here. I don’t trust her.”
“Well, if she didn’t kill Jake because he was abusive, why did she kill him then? What about the judge and the evidence?”
“She must have twisted the truth to make them think she was innocent. She probably killed him so she could be with Isaac Troyer. They dated not long before she married Jake. Maybe Olivia regretted Jake and wanted him out of the picture so she could marry Isaac.”
It took everything in Liv to not stomp over to them and set them straight. She fumed silently, clenching her fists. She couldn’t remember ever hearing an Amish person gossip before. Normally no one in the community engaged in such behavior, but no one was perfect.
“Well, then, why didn’t they get together after?” one voice asked.
“He probably couldn’t stand the thought of being with her after he found out she viciously murdered her husband. He was probably afraid of her.”
How dare they talk about her like that? And why did they have to bring Isaac into it?
So was that what Diana was letting everyone believe? That Olivia killed Jake so she could be with Isaac?
Her face heated in anger, and she wanted rip off her kapp and leave town. Instead, she decided she would question Diana right then and there.
Liv stepped out from where she had been listening and watched the women’s faces as they realized she had probably heard everything. Liv smiled at them in a sugary-sweet way.
“Good morning, ladies. You have all made me feel so welcome here,” she said, trying not to sound sarcastic. She watched them all blush and squirm, looking like they wanted to crawl under a rock like frightened insects. Served them right for saying such things about her. And in church, for Pete’s sake!
“Oh, well, I have to go,” one of them mumbled, then they all scrambled away like skittish mice.
Diana started to leave, but Liv grabbed her arm. “Wait. I have some questions for you.”
“What?” Diana muttered, still looking a little embarrassed.
“Well, first of all, I wanted to express my condolences and say I’m sorry for your loss.” She paused. “I was also wondering if you saw or heard anything peculiar the night Bill was murdered.”
“No.” Obviously annoyed, Diana crossed her arms in front of her. “A lot of trees were falling that night because of the wind, and it was loud, so I didn’t even hear the gunshot.” Diana’s voice was void of sorrow even though her husband had just died. Liv had always suspected Bill Sullivan was abusive just like Jake, so maybe Diana was relieved she was now single.
“Did anyone unusual come around that day? Was anything odd to you?” Liv prodded.
“No! Why are you asking me such things?” Diana snapped. Liv had been wondering where her cold demeanor had gone.
“Just curious.” Liv shrugged. “It’s odd to me that no one saw anything or even heard anything.”
“It’s none of your concern. Now leave me alone, please.” Diana shoved past her.
Well, it was Liv’s concern. And she’d do what she had to do to get some answers.
“Oh, hi, Olivia! Remember me, Annaliese Hersberger?” Anna grinned at her.
Liv really wanted to just ignore her and walk away. Anna was a sweet woman, but Liv really just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. She forced herself to be polite anyway. “Oh, yes, I do. How are you, Anna?”
“Great,” Anna said with a grin, her blue eyes twinkling. Her blonde hair was perfectly twisted back under her kapp. She was beautiful and sweet and probably a near perfect Amish woman.
“Well, then, if there is nothing else...” Liv started to move away.
“I just wanted to thank you for bringing Isaac home. We are basically dating, and I was so worried about him. I was going to arrange with his parents to get a driver for him, but you saved us the trouble. Thank you again.”
Dating? Liv’s heart plummeted. Isaac was dating this Amish Barbie? Of course he was. What man wouldn’t want to date her?
Could this day seriously get any worse?
Something inside Olivia fell apart, and tiny shards of demolished hope stabbed her insides.
“You’re
welcome. Excuse me.” Liv walked away and sat near Aunt Mary, away from everyone else so she could be alone.
She propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. Why did she feel so devastated? There was no hope for her and Isaac. She’d be leaving soon, and she was sure Isaac would not come with her. He hadn’t wanted to before, so why would he now?
She just wanted to get out of here, away from all these people. Her most important rule was to never let her job get personal, but maybe this was all too much. Swatting away a hot tear, she became annoyed with herself for getting so emotional. This was the hardest assignment she had ever done, and she had had some difficult, ugly, gruesome ones.
Branson wouldn’t let her leave without losing her job. She pictured the white sandy beaches again with the swaying palm trees and tried to relax.
When this was over and she caught the perp, she would leave. Once and for all. And she’d try to never think of this place again.
“Are you okay, Liv?” Aunt Mary asked, concern lining her voice
Liv knew her aunt meant well, but she really wished people would just leave her alone. “I’m fine. This is all just a little overwhelming. In a good way.” She gave a small smile.
“Well, here’s some casserole.” Aunt Mary handed her a plate. Despite her jealousy and disappointment and anger, she was hungry. And the food was delicious.
*
Isaac’s thoughts ran wild. The church had accepted Liv into the community.
That meant that he could rightfully ask her uncle permission to court her. He looked over at her talking with the other women and couldn’t help but smile. She was not the friendliest person, nor the sweetest, but something about her drew him as she chomped on her food and looked around with shifty eyes. She clearly still didn’t trust anyone.
She was strong, and she was brave. And she did open her heart to some people, but it was rare. She had built so many walls to protect herself over the years, and he didn’t blame her, but he had no idea how he would get past them. Her walls might keep out pain, but they could keep out love, too.