by Ashley Emma
And he still loved her. He always had. How could he get her to trust him?
Diana’s response to Olivia’s request for forgiveness had been beyond harsh. His stomach clenched at the memory of seeing Liv’s face after her former mother-in-law and brother-in-law had lashed out at her in front of everyone that morning. He had wanted to say something in Liv’s defense, but he had no idea what to say. Thank God Gideon had stepped in.
He glanced at Liv again. She still wasn’t talking to anyone. What was she upset about now? She had just been accepted back into the church. Wasn’t that what she had wanted? Why wasn’t she rejoicing?
Was she rethinking her decision?
“So… Olivia is back,” Seth Lapp said, taking a step closer to Isaac.
“Yes.”
“Do you still love her?” Seth asked quietly.
“Yes, I do.” Isaac sighed.
“So you are going to ask her to date you?”
“I want to, but I’m not sure when.”
“You and I have been friends for a long time, and after she left you talked so much about how you missed her. So maybe, if you still love her, you should. But what about Anna?”
“Anna’s not my girlfriend. She’s nice, but I never loved her like I love Liv.” He had been talking with Anna lately. He was pretty sure she liked him, and he sensed that their families expected them to marry eventually. But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to ask her out. He had always felt it wasn’t right. As if he was waiting for something.
Or someone.
“Well, you better make it clear to Anna what your intentions are, because I think she thinks you two are dating,” Seth said. “She probably thought you were just too shy to officially ask her to be your girlfriend.”
The guilt for unintentionally leading Anna on weighed Isaac down. They had only talked, but she had taken it wrong. He’d have to talk to her soon and end whatever it was she thought was between them. He glanced over at her, and she smiled back sweetly. He hoped he wouldn’t hurt her feelings too badly, but it had to be done.
And when the time was right, he intended to ask Liv to be his girlfriend.
*
About an hour later, people began to leave the church to go home or visit friends or relatives, as the Amish usually did on Sundays. Liv wandered outside, spotted Samuel, and figured she might as well talk to him sooner than later.
He was laughing with a few friends, but once they saw her they politely backed away.
“Good morning, Samuel.”
“What do you want?” He crossed his arms like his mother had earlier.
“Look, I’m really sorry about your father. But I was just wondering if you had seen or heard anything odd or suspicious the night he was killed.”
“No. Nothing at all. No one even heard the shot because of the wind knocking down trees. And we’ve already put it behind us. It doesn’t help when you dig it up like this.”
“Sorry. Do you know anything about what happened? It is just odd to me that no one witnessed anything at all. ”
“Well, that’s the way it happened. No one saw anything and I don’t know anything. Why are you asking so many questions? Please leave my mother and me alone. We are grieving—again—and we don’t need you around to remind us of Jake and my father. Not to mention my brothers and sister who are no longer with us.”
She wanted to grab him by the suspenders and scream that Jake’s death wasn’t her fault. She had only been protecting herself, and now she was just doing her job.
Then Liv remembered how much the callous man before her had lost. He’d lost his siblings and father—almost his entire family. All he had left was his mother. Liv bit back her protests and her heart softened a bit.
He glared at her again, huffed, and stomped away.
Okay, so no one had witnessed anything, unless they were lying. That was a big help.
Isaac and Uncle Gideon looked deep in conversation as Liv approached. Uncle Gideon patted Isaac on the back, and Isaac grinned like a fool. What on earth were they talking about?
Isaac turned to Liv. “Will you walk back with me, Liv?”
“Sure.” Aunt Mary and Uncle Gideon left with Maria, and Isaac led Liv through a shortcut, a path through the woods that would lead to their houses. Since they weren’t dating yet, their time alone would not be frowned upon.
It was a beautiful, warm day, a welcome change from the snowy days they had been having all winter in Maine. Sunlight shone through the trees and melted the remaining snow on the ground.
“Look, there are some robins over there. You know that means warmer weather is coming very soon.” Isaac pointed to the orange-bellied birds chirping in the trees and hopping on the ground. “Finally.”
“Oh, good. It seems like winter is seventy-five-percent of the year in Maine,” Liv said dryly.
“Definitely.” He cleared his throat. “So… I’ll just get to the point. Okay?”
“Go for it.”
Isaac’s heart pounded so hard it ached, and adrenaline coursed through him.
“I still love you. The truth is, I have always loved you, Liv.”
There. He said it. He glanced at her to try and read her face. Liv kept on walking, staring ahead. Her eyes widened as she took a few deep breaths, looked at him and opened her mouth to say something, then stopped. She looked confused and torn, but he couldn’t help but notice a little smile tugging on the corner of her lip. She was so beautiful.
This was the first time he had ever seen Olivia speechless.
“This probably is the completely wrong time to tell you this, with you moving back here and rejoining the church and all. I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you.” He grimaced. His timing was terrible.
“Oh, it’s okay. I’m glad you told me. It’s good to be upfront and honest with people instead of hiding things.” Was it just him, or was she clenching her jaw?
“I agree. I probably should have waited, though. I just could hardly wait to tell you. And I also would like to ask you, when you are ready, to be my girlfriend. I just asked Gideon permission, and he gladly gave it to me. But I understand if you need more time.” His words tumbled out in a rush. He needed to speak his mind before he chickened out. So far, she took this all so well, and that relieved him.
“What about Anna?” she blurted. “Aren’t you two dating? She told me you were basically dating.” Liv’s cheeks turned a lovely shade of red. Was that a little bit of jealousy in her eyes?
“No. No, no. We are not dating. She might think so, but we aren’t. I’m going to make myself clear to her soon. I started talking with her a little while ago, but it was because I was lonely. I didn’t know where you were, or if you were ever coming back. But I always knew I’d never love anyone as much as I love you. She’s nice, but I didn’t ever love her. I love you.”
Liv took a deep breath. “Today has been full of surprises. Well, you better tell her that ASAP, because she seemed pretty enamored with you. I don’t blame her.” She gave him a rare smile.
His insides warmed with happiness. “So forget about her. This is about you and me. I’m guessing you’re not ready to date me yet—”
“No. Not yet.” Her voice was uncertain.
“How about if you let me know when you are. If that ever happens?”
“Okay.”
Chapter Eight
On the outside, Liv looked composed, but her pulse pounded in her ears. Isaac was pouring his heart out to her, and she had just stupidly told him she would let him know when she was ready to date him.
Because, undeniably, that was what she truly wanted, more than a vacation in the Bahamas.
But it was impossible. It was as impossible as her catching every single criminal in Maine all by herself.
She knew he could sense that she had feelings for him. He knew her so well, she wouldn’t be able to hide that from him. So, if she refused him, he might get a little suspicious. And, maybe like many of the others, he might start to consider her a susp
ect.
She would have to talk to Branson about this. It would be good for her cover if she dated someone within the community, to establish trust, but then both of their hearts would be broken when she left.
Unless she could convince him to leave with her.
That was irrational. He would never leave. He obviously loved it here. It was his entire world. He’d never feel at home in her world, which was so full of violence and death and deceit.
They continued walking, and Liv realized they were near a cluster of Amish houses.
“Hey. Can you show me where Sid found you?” It was about time she quit letting herself get distracted and searched for clues instead.
“Sure. He showed me the spot.”
They walked further down the lane past his house, and Isaac stopped on the side of the road. “Sid found me here very early in the morning after I was assaulted. I don’t even remember him taking me to the hospital.”
Olivia looked around for anything that might help her in the case, like something the perp might have dropped, or a footprint. Something. Anything.
“Did anyone hear the gunshot when Bill was killed?” she asked.
“Actually, no one really did. It was very windy that night, and some trees fell, so it seems everyone thought the noise was from a tree falling, not a gun.”
Great. Did the shooter have a silencer?
“I wonder if you fought back when you were hit.”
“No. I wouldn’t have done that. The Bible says—”
“To turn the other cheek. I know.” Scanning the ground, she withheld a remark about how she would have knocked the guy out. After a few moments of silence, she looked up to see him staring at her in confusion. Oh. She was supposed to be acting Amish.
“You would have fought back, wouldn’t you? Violence is not the Amish way,” he explained in a soft voice.
Well, she wasn’t Amish, so that rule didn’t apply to her. If someone had attacked her like that, she would have fought back with everything she had.
“Sorry,” she said sheepishly.
He shrugged, smiling a little. So he found her amusing?
On the ground was no sign of a struggle, but she did see marks in the dirt that looked like someone had been dragged. Had someone hit Isaac then dragged him here?
The drag marks came from the direction of the Sullivans’ house. Figures. She narrowed her eyes, wondering if someone would even bother covering up evidence when they thought no one would report their crimes. She’d have to sneak into the Sullivan house tonight to investigate. Hopefully they were heavy sleepers.
“What are you thinking about?”
She smiled at him. “Nothing.”
“I’m not convinced. Isn’t that ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ in female language?” Isaac laughed.
Let him think whatever he wants. “Yeah.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
Something in her closed up. Her smile fell. No, she didn’t want to talk about personal stuff like her past. But she found herself saying, “Sure.”
“What happened the day you left? I mean, I know he tried to kill you so you killed him, but what is the full story?” Isaac stepped closer. He began walking further down the lane, away from the houses and toward the main road, and she walked beside him.
“I think you know Jake abused me for our entire marriage. It began as only verbal abuse, then escalated to include physical assault.”
“You changed so much when you married him. You had been so full of life, then you were so withdrawn.” He looked guilty, as if he had been the one who had hurt her, but it was because he hadn’t been able to stop Jake.
She nodded slowly in agreement. “He watched us in the store, that day I ran into you and spilled my groceries. He saw us talking and the way…”
His eyes pleaded with her to go on.
She sighed and continued. “He saw how we were still friends, and he accused me of having an affair with you. I told him it wasn’t true, but he must have convinced himself it was. So he hit me, then he tried to choke me. I had been chopping vegetables in the kitchen, and when I thought I was about to die, I grabbed the knife from behind me on the counter and stabbed him in the neck. After the fact, I realized I could have stabbed him somewhere where it wouldn’t have killed him. But, in the moment, I was so angry and scared, and I just wanted him to stop. And it was one of the few places I could reach. It happened so fast. Maybe I wasn’t thinking clearly.” Her voice was flat, but inside she shuddered at the memories even though she had never regretted her decision to protect herself that day.
Then she’d gone to see Isaac right after Jake died. Her heart still ached when she remembered the way she had felt when he had refused to leave with her—so let down, so alone.
He reached for her hand, startling her out of her memories, and he didn’t let go. She couldn’t let go either. “I’m sorry, Liv” was his quiet answer.
“Don’t be sorry. Bad things happen, and there are so many horrible people in this world. What matters is I survived, and I’m here today.”
Isaac nodded. “I mean, I’m sorry I didn’t go with you.”
She stopped and looked at him, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Did he really just say that?
“I was so scared of leaving this place. I just couldn’t go with you. After you left, I regretted my decision every day. I wanted to go look for you, but I knew it was no use. I had no idea where you were, if you moved to another state… I just wonder what would have happened if—”
She put her hand up. “Don’t ask yourself that. It really will make you nuts.”
“Well, yes, it did. I just prayed every day for your return, and now you’re here.”
“You know, I might have had a big grudge against this community, but I never had anything against my family or you.” She shifted her feet awkwardly.
“Liv, I never, ever want to lose you again. Never.” His eyes intently stared into her own, and for the first time she realized he had a thin line of darkness around the edge of his irises. His usually green eyes looked almost brown in this light. His hair ruffled a little in the breeze, and she made herself look away.
“Anyway,” she said a little too loudly, even though she hated to ruin the moment. Things were going a little too far. She was afraid he’d kiss her any second. “I bet Aunt Mary is wondering where we are. Let’s go meet her at the house.”
Since they had taken a shortcut from church, they arrived at about the same time as the buggy did. Seth, Maria, Aunt Mary, and Uncle Gideon piled out, and Gideon took the horse to the pasture.
“Will you stay and play games with us, Isaac?” Maria called, approaching them at the bottom of the stairs. “We’ll play your favorite, Dutch Blitz.”
“I’d love to, Maria. Thank you. I could never pass up a game of Dutch Blitz. It’s not often I get to play games with my pal Seth anymore, and I’d love to spend the afternoon with your wonderful family.” He shot a heart-stopping smile at Liv, and she tried to stop the fluttering in her belly. She couldn’t help but smile back, the corners of her mouth rising up rebelliously as if they had a mind of their own. Isaac started up the steps that led to the porch, and she followed behind with the others.
Isaac continued, “I have to warn you, though, it’s been a while since I’ve played Dutch Blitz—”
His words were cut off as Isaac’s foot fell through one of the steps, and though he reacted quickly and did not fall through, he fell forward on his hand and elbow, bumping his head on another step. He cried out in pain and surprise, then Liv was instantly at his side. The broken step had fallen to the ground, and Liv felt sick at the thought of Isaac almost falling that far.
“Are you all right?” She helped him up.
“What on earth happened?” Gideon’s voice boomed from below as he hurried from the field and up the stairs after letting the horse out to graze, his gray beard bobbing with every step. “I made those steps myself, and they are much sturdier than that! And they
were fine this morning when we walked on them.”
Liv inspected the step more closely. It looked as though someone had sawed away at the wood and used glue to barely keep it together. Isaac’s weight had broken it the rest of the way. Adrenaline washed through her veins, which was quickly poisoned by rage. Had the man from the woods who had threatened her and her relatives done this? The one who had threatened her when she refused to leave, telling her “accidents” could happen?
“I think I know what happened, and it has nothing to do with your excellent carpentry skills, Uncle Gideon,” Liv stated, going up the rest of the way before them, testing out every board. The man who had threatened her must have done this while they were at church. She would grab the broken step later to have Jeff pick it up and run it for prints.
“It doesn’t matter who you think did it. The Lord calls us to forgive and forget. Let’s not dwell on this,” Gideon replied with a solemn voice.
But Liv couldn’t forgive and forget. Isaac could have fallen and been seriously injured, or worse. The voice in the woods had not been bluffing after all.
When they reached the top of the stairs, everyone else went inside in search of the first aid kit and an ice pack. Liv tugged on Isaac’s sleeve as he headed for the door, and he stopped and faced her. A bump and bruise were already forming above his left eye. She instinctively reached up her hand to touch his face, and he captured her hand with his own.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You should go to the doctor.”
“No, no, I’m all right. I caught my balance pretty quickly. Thank the Lord.”
“Someone did this to you,” she murmured, anger and determination to catch this killer heating her blood. “Anyone in my family could have been hurt.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m all right, really. It’s just a minor injury,” he said in a smooth, deep voice. “Why do you think you have to figure all of this out? Why can’t you just let the Lord handle it?”
“Sometimes I feel like I have to handle things myself.” She was too afraid to trust anyone else. Even God. “You could have been killed. That step was high.” Her voice cracked with emotion at the thought. Unshed tears of frustration burned her eyes, but she blinked them away.