Baby Momma Saga, Part 2

by Ni'chelle Genovese

  There couldn’t have been any way possible for me to feel like the world’s biggest douche. Until someone thought it’d make me feel better if I got a lap dance. Dynasty spun my barstool around and climbed, yes, climbed on top of me. She’d started grinding all over me and I couldn’t breathe because, one, I had Dynasty’s double Ds up my nose, and two, I’d started crying. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there I was, having a complete emotional breakdown in the middle of the strip club. Ass, titties, liquor, and tears . . .

  Towanna, the guilty party, pulled me in to the ladies’ room.

  “Don’t cry, man. Everything’ll be fine.” She patted my back, trying her best to console me.

  It was atrocious. I’d started doing this uncontrollable hiccupping thing, like I couldn’t breathe but I was still trying to talk at the same time. Through hiccupping and sobs I’d managed to ask Towanna why she was even pulling her gun in the first place.

  “Um, because your name was originally on my agreement. I was supposed to kill you on that bridge; you jumped in front of your own bullet, and lived because you asked my mom’s name. They figured you knew more than you should. Remember the agent said you tried to commit suicide? I thought you’d gotten a call or something, you invite me on this date with a chick I can barely stand and midway through you go all Stepford wife, then we get in the truck and you go in with the questions—”

  “That’s because I was thinking Devon’s name was on your agreement. Rasheed wrote ‘Don Cerzulo told Daddy see Doc’ in Trey’s iPad. I sat there, piecing everything together, and when we got in the truck and Denise’s phone didn’t work I thought you were going to kill him. I’d just as well take him in, and I fucked the fuck up . . .” I started crying all over again.

  It was a total misunderstanding, except you know neither of them drugged and then literally drug me to the law enforcement. Towanna was just a lot more forgiving about it all than Devon was.

  He sat in the darkened living room in nothing but his sweat pant bottoms when Denise dropped me off at three a.m. I was still wearing my dress from our date night. An empty cocktail glass was sitting on the coffee table in front of him as he sat with his forearms resting on his knees.

  I stood in the doorway, debating what to say while I closed it behind me. I settled on keeping it simple. “Hey.”

  He didn’t look up or anything at the sound of my voice. “I think you and Trey should find a place for a little while. Might be best that way.” He was frowning at the floor in front of him.

  Tears clouded my vision, welled up and burned so hot I wouldn’t see my own hand if it were right in front of my face even if I’d wanted to. I blinked, and they rolled down my cheeks. There was nothing for me to say. If he wanted me gone, I’d leave. There wasn’t a single thing I could think of to make up for my fuckup of mammoth proportions.

  I got my and Trey’s things together as quickly as possible. I put his key on the table beside the door, and just like that, I left. Now, I knew Devon was missing from me the moment; he wouldn’t smile for me anymore. It’s actually fucked up, because in these movies we grow up with, the guy chases his woman down, yelling about how much he loves her. And, it’s usually right about now that he’d do that shit. Because sometimes they have to watch you leave to realize they really want you to stay.

  Well, some shit just doesn’t go down like it does in movies. Checking my rearview only made me cry harder, and it only made my heart feel like a worthless block of sorrow sitting in my chest when I didn’t see him there. My phone, which had been in the bottom of my purse all along, was painfully silent.

  My chest almost exploded when it rang. Seeing Denise’s number I was so let down I didn’t answer. Towanna called and I still didn’t answer. I just didn’t feel like being bothered right that second. We could chat and I’d let them know what went down later. I needed to find a damn hotel. I almost threw my phone out the window when Towanna called a second time.

  “Yes, Towanna?” I answered in a watery voice.

  “You good? I’m worried about you.”

  “I’m good, I promise,” I lied.

  My eyes were so puffy and swollen I could barely see the road. I’d passed at least five hotels but I was so depressed I kept driving just for the sake of having something to do.

  Towanna’s voice was whisper soft. “You can always come to me.”

  “What’s your address?”

  Exhausted, I actually just wound up finally parking in a Wendy’s parking lot and reclining the seat. My intent was to only close my eyes for a couple of minutes.

  There was a loud tapping on my window, and I blinked and shielded my eyes against the intrusion.

  “License and registration, please?” The officer waited beside my car.

  “I’m not driving, sir,” I called out, looking at him, confused.

  “Are you intoxicated? I will have to write you a ticket for public intoxication as well as disruptive conduct, and . . .”

  I looked at the clock, and winced. I didn’t mean to sleep until almost eleven a.m. Annoyed, I got my shit out. It must have been end of the month and these idiots were trying to meet their damn quotas and shit. Handing him my information, I rolled my eyes and sat back as he walked to his car. He finally came back and handed me my ID and registration and the damn ticket.

  Leaning down beside my window he said, “Okay, I’m just issuing a warning this time. This is her, boys.”

  Two men hopped out the back of his squad car and climbed into the back of my car. I’d gotten lazy and comfortable; the old me would have been ready for something like this.

  No, the old you wouldn’t have been out here for something like this to happen.

  “Drive.”

  I could feel him staring at me, watching my every move. It’s akin to when you’re outside and people peek at you through the curtains. That feeling you’re in a room and the hairs in your ear vibrate and stand up on the back of your neck.

  “We haven’t been formally introduced, have we?”

  I looked up into the rearview and found myself gazing into eyes the turbulent color of the underside of thundercloud. For some reason, I couldn’t help feeling as though I’d seen them somewhere before.

  Chapter 33

  Sins of the Father

  I stared at this silver-eyed stranger and my mind clicked. He sent champagne to Keyshawn at Liv.

  Glancing back in the rearview as I drove without directions, I asked him, “I’m sorry, but are you sure we haven’t met before?”

  “I’m sure we have not met. Pay attention to the road please. So, in case you’s wondering, I’m Angelo Testa. Rasheed got some vital info out of my father and killed him. His name was Don Cerzulo. Now, I need you to take me to Rasheed; that info was extremely important. Otherwise, I’ll use you and your son to flush him out.”

  This might not be a good time to tell him neither of those is possible. How do I keep ending up in these impossible, impossible-ass situations? Koala’s fingerprints look similar to humans. They’re almost identical.

  “Rasheed is in the hospital with his momma, but I have the info. Look in my purse, it’s on the iPad. He typed it so he wouldn’t forget. I didn’t know what it was or I would have erased it. Trust me.”

  Angelo gave me a suspicious glance before digging through my purse. I dropped my phone into my lap, tempted to text Towanna, but I didn’t know what to say just yet. I couldn’t risk reaching down to put my phone on vibrate and drawing attention to it. So I let it be.

  “It’s a phone number with the name ‘Doc.’ I’m setting up a pickup at your house, what’s the address? That way if there’s any funny business and this shit isn’t real, you’ll suffer.”

  I glanced down at my phone and gave him Towanna’s address, then quickly sent what was probably the worst shorthand text in history: omw2 ur plc wt angelo 2mt drg dealr b rdy

  Angelo called and set up his deal, and I drove toward Towanna’s, praying the entire way. When she didn’t respond, I almost crie
d. I was pretty sure I’d died, and hell was reliving your last moment thinking you were still alive. Because, when we pulled up to the house and I saw the empty driveway, I died over and over again. If I’d left, Angelo would have known I was lying about where I was taking him and his supplier. He probably would have shot me on the spot, so I committed to my lie and pulled into the empty driveway.

  I was so busy looking for Towanna’s car that when I finally saw Devon’s Land Cruiser pulling up on the opposite side of the street, I gasped out loud and if I’d had my gun I’d have shot it at him.

  “There’s your man,” I told Angelo, pointing at Devon’s truck. I was seething with the most irrational anger. I bet he didn’t even know I’d be here either. Probably feels stupid, too. I’d started climbing out the car and walking over without a second thought, barely glancing at the black car pulling up in the driveway. Devon got out of the truck. I took one look at his face and almost turned around and ran back across the street.

  “Dad? What are you doing out here?” he shouted across the street.

  Confused, I spun around, and there was this handsome, older clone of Devon standing at my car. It wasn’t Towanna who had pulled up; it was a black Lexus. I’d walked right past him. At that moment, Towanna did pull up, along with the FBI. Angelo was yelling about his narc sister turning on family as they put him into a car.

  “Devon, I thought your dad was dead.” I looked at him, still completely puzzled by everything I’d just seen.

  His face was a complete mask of upset. “I never said that, it’s something else you assumed and ran with instead of asking me. I said my great uncle raised me. Pops fell in love and took off with Melanie, her case, for murdering her first five of six husbands, he was the sixth. They were too busy globetrottin’ and shit to deal with us. He might as well have been dead though. I didn’t want him or her in my life after that.”

  Getting anywhere with this man seemed damn near ridiculous no matter how hard I tried. Everything I’d accused him of and put him through was all because of his damn father, all because I was too stubborn and foolish to trust a trustworthy person.

  I grabbed his hands and he reluctantly let me hold them; he looked everywhere but down at me.

  “Devon, you can’t make me realize that I need you and then take you away from me. You’re the one who said you can fix anything, so help me fix this.” My voice broke and tears ran down my cheeks but I didn’t hide them. “I can’t love you by myself. I didn’t want to fall all by myself. You were supposed to fall too.” I dropped my head against his shoulder and cried. I’d been refusing to let anyone in for this very reason, and then he came along and—

  “I did.” Devon’s voice was a raspy whisper as he lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. “I did fall too, and I do love you. Baby, please stop crying.” He leaned down and kissed my cheeks.

  “I’ll probably have to get you an autographed R2-D2 jersey to make up for it, huh?” I asked him in a pitiful voice.

  “Get me a what, woman?” He looked down at me with the sweetest confused face.

  I shrugged. “That football guy you like for the Redskins, RPG. I’ll get you an autographed jersey to hang on your wall,” I explained.

  He made an exasperated sound and started laughing. I didn’t get the joke.

  “Chelle, it’s RG3. And after I figure out what’s going on with all this”—he pointed toward his father being put into a car—“I know something even better than can um, hang from my wall,” he replied, winking down at me.

  “Glad you answered your Bat-Signal, playboy,” Towanna called out as she came across the street grinning like a damn fool.

  For the first time since all the commotion started, I noticed the letters “FBI” on her shirt.

  “You’ve got to be playing. This whole time, Towanna, really?” I stared at her.

  She nodded and kept grinning. “Yes, the entire time. Let’s go have a drink and I’ll tell you all about it. Feels like I ain’t seen you in forever.”

  “Shots fired, shots fired,” Towanna’s radio blared.

  Devon pushed me into the Land Cruiser and Towanna drew her gun. No one, and I repeat no one, saw the shooter that took Angelo out as he was being put into the cruiser.

  Chapter 34

  Always Share Your Nightmares

  So They Can’t Come True?

  (Three Years Later)

  Most people loved summer. Not me, and especially not in Virginia. The heat and humidity alone could make your boobs and butt combust into sweat the second you stepped outside. My favorite time of year quickly became early fall. Fall was supposed to be a time of year when the clouds brought to mind marshmallows and hot cocoa with a splash of Kahlúa. The crunch of leaves on the ground sounded like cute boots and comfy sweaters. Yet, there was nothing fall-like or cozy about sitting directly underneath the “cook your forehead” hot sun on a Wednesday afternoon during one of Virginia’s Indian summers.

  Someone had a grill going nearby, and the smell of charcoal and hotdogs in the air reminded me of summer on the Fourth of July. We were sitting Indian style in a soft patch of clovers near the swings. I was glad I’d just worn an old comfortable pair of jeans and one of my Old Navy tees. All these confused-ass heffas in workout gear had taken up all the benches in the shade. All they were doing was sitting around eating snacks and talking on their cells. Not one of them looked like they were trying to scoot over or leave anytime soon.

  “Show me which one you’re thinking about. I wanna see if her ears bleed.” Towanna leaned over, nudging me with her elbow, laughing. Denise sat behind her, arms wrapped around her waist, smiling over her shoulder. Funny how they couldn’t stand each other, as Towanna put it.

  Some people like to get close to you just so they can say they were close. They really don’t care about your dreams or what makes you, you. They just want to be able to tell people on the outside that their asses were part of your inner circle.

  Thankfully Special Agent Towanna James wasn’t one of those people. After everything that’d happened, I never thought I’d let anyone get near me again, but I’d found genuine friendship with her, and real love and happiness with Devon. They both had ways of making me laugh, and the drama that used to be my life seemed worlds away. Well, except for my usual drama.

  “Trey, you’d better put that down. I’m watchin’ you,” I warned, giving him a stern look and in turn focusing that same gaze on his counterpart. “Paris, little girl. Ah . . . no. If I have to get up and come over there. Don’t put that on him. See, that’s why he hit you. Trey, pick her doll up. I said I was watching you. Both of y’all just stop, nobody touch nothing. Go play on the slide over there or something.”

  He gave me a big grin before he went bouncing toward the slide.

  Blowing out an exasperated breath, I fanned myself. For a parent, even playing was hard work. I felt akin to child wrangler out here. All I needed was a bullwhip and a megaphone.

  “Towanna, I swear that boy is the devil sometimes. He is fa’ sho his daddy’s child, because that kind of foolishness is not of me.” I shook my head. “No, I didn’t make all that.”

  “Stop frowning at the boy, Chelle, he’s behaving.” Devon plucked a dandelion, tossing it at me. He was sitting on the opposite side of me. Giggling, I tossed it back. I’d never told him what Rasheed had typed into Trey’s iPad before I’d deleted it. I debated ever telling Trey. But, I needed to learn a lesson from Reena and not turn into an old woman withholding a century of secrets in my head. Secrets like, “Don’t be like Daddy.” I had reasons for what I did, and like Devon always said, if I’d asked instead of jumping without looking, well . . .

  Towanna snickered. “Yeah, he’s a boy, Chelle, that’s what they do. They terrorize little sisters and when they grow up they become their bodyguards and best friends. I grew up with two older brothers, remember? Trust me, I’d know. It could be worse; he could be stealing Paris’s tiaras, calling himself the Queen Bitch. Snappin’ and twistin’.” She
chuckled.

  “Heavens no.” I sucked my teeth and let out an exasperated breath on that one.

  “I’ll just be glad when the terror, tease, and fight phase is over all—” I’d barely gotten the words out before little Ms. Lataya Paris II came launching her little self up into my lap.

  I was stuck trying to find her head out the sudden crash of upside down bright pink and white dress and limbs. She’d face planted, and all I could see were little legs sticking from in between mine. I finally managed to pluck her out without getting kicked in the process, and she was crying and screaming at the top of her lungs, damn near splitting my eardrums. Of course Trey wasn’t far behind, proudly carrying a got-damn baby python. I grabbed Paris and hopped up, screaming my own head off.

  “Trey, what in the hell? Put that thing down before it bites your ass. Have you lost your mind, boy?” I looked over at Devon to handle what was also suddenly on his feet beside me.

  “Hell, no. I don’t do snakes,” he shouted, throwing his hands up.

  “Calm down, y’all, it’s just a garden snake. A baby one at that. They’re harmless.” Towanna went all nature woman on our asses. She got up and took the ungodly spawn of Satan boa constrictor from Trey.

  I backed up with Paris in my arms. “If you come over here, on my life I’ll get in that car and leave all of y’all asses out here.” Just then, a large black bat-looking something or another hovered suspiciously near me, and I went Mayweather on it. Bobbing and weaving, sidestepping and shrieking, all with Paris squealing in my arms.

  “Um, it’s just a butterfly, Chelle. The two of y’all are a mess. We will never go camping.”

  “Camping is anti-evolutionary anyway. I don’t give a damn. It’s a bug. I don’t do snakes, bugs, critters, creatures, creepers; anyone who knows me knows that shit. I have nightmares about them things crawling on me and I can’t get them off. I’m telling you about it now so it can’t happen again.”