Only Her Heart (The Jaded Hearts Club)

by Olivia Linden

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Previously

  1st day home

  2nd day home

  Ch 01 What Next?

  Ch 02 Men in Black

  Ch 03 Hill Street Blues

  Ch 04 Kool and The Gang

  Ch 05 Return of Sweet-face

  Ch 06 Hopeful

  Ch 07 Welcome to Miami

  Ch 08 Stereo Love

  Ch 09 Private Dancer

  Ch 10 Video Vixen

  Ch 11 Sex Therapy

  Ch 12 Checkmate

  Ch 13 Not a player

  Ch 14 In Full Effect

  Ch 15 Nostalgic

  CH 16 Animal

  Ch 17 Reality Strikes

  Ch 18 You don't want that

  Ch 19 Man Down

  Ch 20 Mambo #5

  Ch 21 Cinderella special

  Ch 22 Rebounding

  Ch 23 One of many

  Ch 24 First night in Peru

  Ch 25 Meeting with Hector

  Ch 26 Peru with Julian

  Ch 27 Holding On

  Ch 28 Quicksand

  Ch 29 Making peace

  Ch 30 Mango Love

  Ch 31 Rum Punch

  Ch 32 Consolation Prize

  Epilouge

  Contact Me

  Only Her Heart

  Olivia Linden

  This book is a work of fiction.

  No part of the contents relate to any real person or persons,.

  living or dead

  Copyright © 2013 Olivia Linden ViaLinden Press

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN:0989019209

  ISBN-13:978-0989019200

  There are so many people who were integral in the development of this book. So many to thank! First off, I dedicate this book to DJ, because he’s my biggest inspiration. I want to thank my mom, who really got involved and helped me when I felt lost. Omar, Lexi, Marcus and Getayne for allowing me to drive you guys crazy with my questions and for watching all my ‘trailers’, lol! Levon, Kari, Patrice, and Patricia really promoted Jaded Hearts and gave me invaluable feedback. I want to thank Kristy Charbonneau for revamping the covers for the series and making them amazing! Jaha Knight for working with me and creating the Jaded Hearts Club logo. My Vipers who were supportive and encouraging! All my author friends who listened to me rant, moan, and question myself during the writing process. All the ladies of The Jaded Hearts Club on Facebook. All the readers who reached out to me and let me know how you felt about the book. That is amazing to me and means more than you know. I hate feeling that I left anyone out, but just know that I appreciate all the support I have received. Thank you!

  Previously

  Only Her Heart picks up with Jades first days home from the hospital. Depending on when you purchased Jaded Hearts, you may not have the revised ending. This is that ending, so if this looks familiar just skip this section. Enjoy!

  I can't help this feeling of helplessness. Or is it hopelessness? I glance at Julian and notice the way his hands are trembling. How is he feeling after all of this? Between what he is asking me, and the bomb that my aunt just dropped on me, I don't have the slightest clue of what my next move is going to be.

  "Julian," I begin my reproach, but just as I am about to try to articulate my loss of direction there is a faint knock at the semi-ajar hospital room door. I turn my head to see who it is and it gives me pause, and then well, I can't even describe my next emotion. It's not the fact that John standing in my doorway, but the man next to him that holds my curiosity.

  He's as tall as John, but with a heavier build. He is a more rugged version of John. I don't recall John ever mentioning a brother or any siblings for that. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure he's an only child. So who is this specimen of a man waltzing into my room? I become acutely aware of my disheveled and bruised appearance and to my astonishment, I feel embarrassed? Unbelievable!

  "Sorry to interrupt, but I'm detective Ryan Walsh. I wanted to ask you a few questions about your attack. I've already spoken to Mr. Garza, and would like your statement." His voice is deep and with a slight hint of raspiness. This man must have a freaking fan club of women. Even in my distress, I can recognize his undeniable male prowess. I sit up straighter in my bed and try to muster up some semblance of dignity under the circumstances. I almost don't notice the crackle of tension bouncing between John and Julian, but I can't ignore it when I hear the slight irritated grumble, growl that Julian emits. Looking back towards him I see his eyes fixed in a death stare and I look over to see John returning the sentiment. Oh shit. The last thing I need is for World War 3 to erupt right here in front of me. Before I can even formulate a sentence, Detective Walsh offers a suggestion.

  "If you guys don't mind, could you step out while I speak with Ms. Spencer." I like the way he doesn't ask, and I'm relieved that he is helping to run interference.

  "If it's ok with Jade, I would like to stay," Julian retorts. I pry my eyes away from the real alpha-male of this situation to glare at Julian. But as soon as I see his determined stance, and the pain that he can barely hid behind his eyes, I give in.

  "It's ok. He can stay," I reply. What I didn't really count on, or want to witness is the anger that this incites in John. I offer him a reproachful look, hoping he won't decide to cause a scene. He doesn't.

  "Fine, I'll leave." John shrugs in defeat, gifting me with a tortured expression before he stalks out. Oh, God! I can't deal with all of this drama. I know I wanted a change when I left Miami, and this is a clear reminder to be careful what you wish for. Note to self to be more decisive and direct in the future.

  Julian makes his way to the chair next to my bed, and I can't help but notice the slight hobble to his step. Visions of baseball bats pummeling his legs flash before my eyes and I squeeze them tight, crushing the edge of my palms against them to try to push those ugly thoughts away. For a moment I forget anyone else is here. I forget who I am, and I just wish I was somewhere else.

  "Jade?" Julian's voice snaps me back. I was headed to a dark place, and terrified of what would have happened next.

  "I'm really sorry to disturb you, and I know you're still trying to recover from the trauma of what happened. I just need to ask a few questions and you can come down to the station for a full report in few days when you're feeling up to it."

  "No, I'm fine. Please, get started Detective Walsh," I manage to speak.

  "Please, call my Walsh, or Ryan. I'll try to make this quick."

  I felt Julian's warm hand cover mine and I relaxed enough to focus on Ryan's questions.

  It wasn't as bad as I expected. For a cop, Ryan had a very polite demeanor. He wasn't all hard and gruff like I would have expected him to be, but he did possess an edge that warned you not to fuck with him. It also wasn't as difficult for me to replay the events of the night in question. Whatever drug had been used to sedate me, kept me from having to many details since I was blacking in and out. The worst of it was remembering the cold water that I thought would drown me, and what they had done to Julian. I almost broke down at that point and Ryan stopped taking my statement.

  "Thank you Jade, what you said lines right up with Mr. Garza's statement. Here is my card. Please give me a call when you are ready to set up an appointment." He handed me his card, closing my palm around it, shook Julian's hand and strode out of the room. Gezuss, he is manly!

  I leaned back against my pillow, and then decided to acknowledge my self designated guard dog.

  "So..." I didn't know where to start so I began with, "what now?"

  Julian gingerly leaned back into his seat and I winced for him. He
gave me that look that said I didn't know the half.

  "Fuck. I don't even know. Well, what I do know is that I need to leave New York again. I'd been in the City for all of five hours before someone was able to organize an attack against me. That's why I had to go away, what I was trying to explain to you that night. I spent so many years trying to stay away from this kinda shit, and I don't even know where all of this came from. My only goal was to make sure you were ok, and because of me you barely are..." He stopped when his emotions started getting the better of him.

  That was a lot.

  "Who? And why?"

  "That's just it, I had no idea who Nina's father was until now. I remember her talking about her Russian mother. I had no idea her father was Italian, or connected. And I never even slept with her, much less get her pregnant. 'Ryan' already tracked her down and took her statement. Apparently, the man who was so infuriated over her condition wasn't even her real father. Her father was conveniently at a well attended family event, not at a warehouse avenging his daughters virtue. So, back at square one."

  I couldn't even wrap my mind around that.

  "What? So all of that was a lie? Oh, God!" I felt sick now, oh Jesus I'm gonna puke. I could feel the cold sweat making it's way up down my neck and my stomach was churning. Somehow this was easier to deal with when I thought there was a definite suspect. Now, that slight comfort, no matter how minuscule, was snatched away. I slid out of my bed and hurried, as quick as I was able to move, into my bathroom. No regard or concern that my entire ass was hanging free from the opening in the back. I had untied the knots when they interfered with my nap. Shame I had to give up that glorious soup I had for lunch. It was the best thing to happen to me in weeks.

  I washed my face and brushed my teeth. When I returned to the room, Julian was still sitting in the chair, but his posture, with his head cradled in his hands, projected defeat. Instead of getting back in the bed, I walked over to the side nearest his chair, and perched on the edge of the stiff mattress as I stroked his head. I'm glad he was handling it in a different manner than me, because he wouldn't have been able to make it to the bathroom as quick as I did.

  "Sorry about that. I don't know what that was. I never toss my cookies like that," I tried an attempt to make him feel better. Funny how life is.

  "Toss. Your. Cookies?" Julian peeked up at me through his fingers. I shrugged my shoulders sheepishly, and then laughed. He smirked, and for that split second the world was normal. Then I heard hurricane Dreki approaching. Even in a hospital, my brother and cousin were so inappropriate. I looked at Julian and rolled my eyes just as they came bounding in behind my nurse. Drew was carrying my overnight bag and Jackie had flowers and a balloon.

  "Guess who gets to go home today?" Apparently they had worn off on my poor sweet nurse. She was such a nice lady. What a shame. Drew tossed my bag on the bed, walking over to give Julian a pound. How much had I missed these last few days?

  "That would be the bootylicious flasher, just in case you weren't sure," Jackie joked as she actually tugged my gown closed before she poked my butt. Progress.

  "Yes, Ms. Spencer," Ms. Nice Nurse confirmed. "I just need you to sign these forms, and you are cleared for release."

  "That's the best news I've heard all day, let me get dressed and I'm out of here." I'm sure they would have appreciated a bit more enthusiasm, but I was just glad I didn't still have to puke. The nurse took her paperwork and Drew and Jackie followed her out. Julian remained in his seat.

  "Julian, where are you going?"

  "I was going to ask you to come with me to my place, but after we talked to Walsh, something really hit me. My driver had been switched that night. I don't know who to trust right now. Someone is trying to set me up and I don't even know why." He paused as he contemplated his decision. "So, I'll probably go to my mother's." He stared off into space, lost in his thoughts.

  "I'm sure she would like that. She's probably worried sick about you."

  "No, she doesn't know I'm here. I asked Edward not to tell her, I didn't want her to freak out and worry, you know?"

  "Julian! What do you think she's gonna do when she see's you? Your face is..." I didn't want to state the obvious. The deep purple bruise didn't need any acknowledgement.

  "She won't see me, she's out of the country right now visiting family. I'll be gone before she get's back."

  My stomach flipped when I heard that.

  "Where are you going?" My voice was barely louder than a whisper. Julian looked at me with calculated patience, like he was holding back his sarcasm.

  "Jade, the reason I left before was because I was advised to. I knew someone was out for me, but I had no idea to what extent. My family thought it was best that I get out of the limelight for a while, till whoever was making the threats was discovered. The only reason I came back was because of you."

  "But why? Why did you come for me? I was fine!"

  "I was tired of being in isolation. And I missed you. I wanted to ask you what I should have asked before I left." He ran his hands through his thick, curly hair, bristling with tension. I sat for a while to let his words sink in. While we sat there quietly observing each other, his phone buzzed. Pulling it out of his pocket, he glanced at the screen, let out a deep breath and stood up. I continued to watch him, still stupefied.

  "Edward is here to pick me up," he announced.

  "Oh," was all that I managed to reply. I felt a weird sense of desolation at the idea of him leaving, that I didn't understand. I wanted to blame him for what happened, and be angry, but really I just felt sad for him, for us. And just like that I was crying. The dam of uncertainty and denial that I had filled for the last few days cracked and crumbled. I was so lost in my thoughts and my pain, I didn't remember he was standing in front of me, watching. He rubbed both thumbs across each of my cheeks, attempting to wipe away my tears.

  "I'm so sorry Jade," his voice wavered as he spoke. "Sorry is such a weak word, it can't fix shit or express how fucked up I feel about what happened. I just hope you can forgive me."

  I just nodded my head. My words were not going to show up, trapped somewhere between my thoughts and my mouth. With nothing from me but silence, Julian left me with a light kiss on my forehead.

  A brief shower and change of clothes later, and I was ready to go. I decided to enjoy the last few moments of hospital solitude, before alerting my brother that I was ready to go home. Aunt V's confession was still weighing on me, because it just seemed like something was off. Why would she wait until now to tell me the real reason that my mother went away? I spent all these years feeling abandoned and unloved, and she just kept putting bandaids on my heart instead of telling me the truth. And John. What was he hiding? That thought made my stomach churn with a myriad of emotions, none of them good. When did my life become so out of focus? The urge to wallow in my own pity was tempting, but I was just too fed up. I was tired of existing within the shadows of my own life. I was ready to live.

  Light tapping coming from the doorway startled me back to the present. I was not surprised to see John waiting there. He looked haggard, like he hadn’t changed or shaved in a day or so.

  “Come in,” I said with little emotion in my voice. I should have known that he wouldn’t adhere to my wishes to be left alone. That was John, always trying for a compromise that was really just his way. He casually strolled into my room, choosing to stand in front of me instead of taking a seat. I kept my eyes trained to the slight crack in my nail, as I waited for him to speak his piece. I knew that if I looked up at him, I would be a goner. I hated this new emotional me. This can't be life!

  “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you have a ride?” His voice was wrought with apprehension as he asked his questions.

  “Yes,” I dead-panned again.

  “Can you look at me?”

  “Can you tell me what happened?” I shot back, still without eye contact.

  “Jade! Why can’t-“ />
  “Why can’t I trust you? Hmmm? Is that what you were going to ask, when the truth is you don’t trust me?” I couldn’t help from raising my voice, being shellshocked and overemotional was wearing on me. Drew poked his head in, interrupting our little, or my little outburst.

  “Jade, I’m ready when you are,” my brother announced as he picked up my bag and headed back out of the room.

  “I didn’t come here to argue with you, Jade. Please don’t shut me out,” John’s plead seemed more like a directive, as if I wasn’t being reasonable and he was trying to set me right. It.Pissed.Me.Off.

  “John, right now is just not the time for this,” I waved my hand in the tension filled air between us. John let out a long huff and ran both hands through his hair.

  “We still need to talk. Let me explain as much as I can,” he insisted.

  “Let me get some rest. Is that reasonable enough of a request for you to handle?” I’d never felt like being a bitch, but the feeling that John was keeping something from me did horrific things to my sensibilities. Despite my tone, he still felt the need to hug me, forcing me to make physical contact with him. Damn him!

  John took his sweet time letting me go, and tilted my chin up so that I couldn't avoid looking into his eyes.

  "Hey. I'm not a bad guy. You know that. I know your confused and angry so I'll give you your space, but I meant what I said. Whether we are together or not, I love you, and I know you still love me or else you wouldn't be this angry." He kissed the tip of my nose and my breathing hitched. Why, why, why did things have to be so fucked up?