Only Her Heart (The Jaded Hearts Club)

by Olivia Linden

  This couldn’t be real. I became cognizant of the rapid thud of my increased heart rate. The emotion that was overtaking me was undocumented and I wandered the room in a haze, propelled forward to get a closer look. It was a portrait of a picture of me semi-nude.

  “When did you take this?”

  “It was one of the times you did your famous ‘zone out’ moments. You thought I was checking my email, but I couldn’t help but take your picture. You’re so beautiful.”

  I didn’t know what to say. The look on Julian’s face was heart wrenching.

  “You’re the last thing I see every night. It helps me sleep. I feel like you are here with me.”

  He was standing right behind me as we both admired the artwork. I turned around so we stood there face to face. I studied his, trying to figure out what lay behind those hypnotic eyes.

  “I want to take you somewhere, and you can see how I spend my spare time.”

  Still in a state of shock, I followed him back outside to his bike. We were both silent as we left the house. Julian hopped on his bike and I climbed on behind him. He pulled my arms around him and started the engine. We rode off into the evening as dusk descended. The cool evening air felt delicious against my skin. Surprisingly, I wasn’t afraid of riding on the motorbike in the wilderness of Peru. Just when I began to wonder where we were headed, Julian pulled onto a trail to a little cantina with no name.

  A few older men were conversing when we pulled up. They greeted Julian with great fanfare and looked at me curiously. From the few words of Spanish that I could make out, he had introduced me as his special friend. Indeed. I was hugged and kissed and then led inside. Just like everywhere else I had been, the inside was much more impressive than the outer structure would indicate. A plump woman who looked to be in her mid to late forties came gliding towards us.

  “Ah! Senior Julian.” She kissed him affectionately on both cheeks and turned to me and did the same. I couldn’t help but smile at this stranger who was embracing me so warmly. Then we were off to a both, away from the small dance floor and bar.

  “Marie has the best food here. Can I order for you? I’ll get my usual and something I’m sure you will like.” Julian pushed aside the menus and then we were being served drinks and we hadn’t even ordered yet.

  “Jade, let me introduce you to Chicha de Jora. It’s a traditional native drink. I guess Peruvian moonshine. Whatever it is, I love it. Be careful tho, it packs a punch.”

  I wasn’t sure what to think. Truthfully, I wasn’t even sure this was all really happening. I was here in Peru, with Julian, about to drink Peruvian Moonshine in Maria’s Cantina. This was surreal. Somehow, I trusted Julian and wasn’t worried. In spite of everything that had happened to us in the past, he had never done anything for me not to. I felt safe here with the local’s listening to the same Latin tunes we used to dance to together.

  Finally, I picked up my cup and tipped Julian’s in a silent toast. He watched me intently as I took my first sip. Wow! This didn’t taste like anything I had ever had before. It was slightly sweet, slightly sour, and strong as hell. He smiled as I ventured a larger sip. I liked this Chicha de Jora.

  “Ah, you like it.” His tone was so relieved. I smiled back, still in mute mode.

  “Ok Julian. Tacu-tacu y Papa rellena.” Maria served us herself. I had no idea what the dishes were, but I knew they smelled mouth wateringly good. My stomach lurched in excitement and I registered how hungry I really was.

  “Ok. What is what here?” I asked.

  “Oh, so you speak? I thought you had turned into a mute on me.” His green eyes sparkled with humor.

  “You have no idea, Senior Julian. I am beyond speechless at this entire day.”

  “Well, let’s eat. I always get the Tacu which is a mixture of fried rice and beans with fried steak, and the Papa rellena is a mashed potato stuffed with ground beef and deep fried. We can share ‘cause they are both the bomb.” He scooped up a serving of tacu and fed it to me. My eyes rolled back into my head at the flavor. I love ethnic food to begin with, but anything with rice, beans and steak was definitely at the top of the list. I picked up my fork and we dug in.

  We ate our meal in silence between sips of the strong Chicha de jora. I was feeling extremely relaxed and…satisfied. As soon as he put his fork down, Julian was pulled onto the dance floor by Maria. I watched in amusement as she strut her stuff. Maria was hot for her age. I continued to sip my drink and when I ran out, a refill was already waiting for me.

  After the second song, Julian came and lead me to the dance floor. A small band had taken stage and we danced to their entire set. It felt good to feel so free. Julian held me lightly, as he engaged the older gentleman in playful banter. We danced in time with the others to the lively sounds of the local band. I marveled at how carefree he seemed despite his circumstances. He had made a little life out of his seclusion, and was obviously well liked by his neighbors. Very well liked, judging by the daggers of looks I received by a few of the ladies here.

  When the band finished their set, the music switched back to the previous mix. I recognized a song from the nights Julian used to keep me up with his makeshift spanish lessons. Tu Voz. Our eyes met, and I saw the look register in his. We were thinking the same thing. Maybe he pulled me closer, or maybe I moved closer to him, either way our bodies molded to each other. Julian’s breathing picked up as he swayed me to the sultry tune. The skin on my neck burned each time he exhaled, the burn traveling down my spine. I closed my eyes as I yielded to the moment.

  This was unlike the times we danced before. I wasn’t afraid or fighting my feelings. Maybe if I allowed myself to feel for him without fear or guilt I could somehow get him out of my system. Was that even possible? It was worth a try.

  “Eyes open, Jade.” His lips caressed my skin with his words. A slow smile spread across my lips as I opened for him. As usual his intensity assaulted me, leaving me almost breathless. His fingers pressed into my flesh as he discreetly fondled me while we danced. The slight flex of his hips against mine may have been missed by the other dancers but it shot a bolt of desire right through me. I gasped lightly and his eyes darkened even more with want.

  My mouth longed to feel his lips against mine and I licked my lips in anticipation. He seemed to be hypnotized by my mouth the way his eyes were fixed on them, his own mouth parting involuntarily. I knew he wouldn’t kiss my right here, but I knew I wanted it sooner than later. We danced a little longer, to our own rhythm and then he nodded towards the door. I simply nodded in agreement.

  Instead of taking the bike back to the estate, there was Paulo waiting for us. We spent the short car ride back to his house in silence. Our hands seemed to do most of the communication as we caressed and touched each other lightly and teasingly. Once at the farmhouse, he lead me quietly through the darkness to his bedroom. I continued to hold his hand as he guided me inside.

  “I want to show you something else.” His voice was deep and husky when he spoke. Another surprise? I vibrated with curiosity. Julian picked up a frame and handed it to me. It was a picture of me, Jackie had taken it on a visit to Miami. My hair was wild and curly. It was my 18th birthday. I could feel my eyes beginning to sting with tears. I looked at Julian in a mix of confusion and astoundment.

  There was a brief moment where we were both silent. I walked over to the picture of myself, and felt like I was staring at a stranger. That silly, goofy girl was long gone.

  "This was before my grandmother passed away, it was before Evan. All I wanted was to see the world. My plan was to enroll in a major that would allow me to go to school abroad, but when my granny died, my dreams died." My voice hitched at the thought. I loved my granny, dearly, but I always felt trapped, like something was missing. I felt Julian come up behind me. He said nothing, just held my hand while I talked.

  "Why do you have this Jules?" I was afraid of the answer, but I had to ask.

  “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to be with you?"


  "Julian!" I tried to stop him from saying anything to complicate matters anymore. The determined gleam in his eyes let me know that he wouldn't be stopped.

  "No, listen! I've wanted to tell you this, but I never had the chance. Please, just listen." I couldn't even come up with words to respond. There was a burning part of me that wanted to hear what he had to say. I watched as he paced the floor in front of me. He looked like a desperate man. For the first time, I could see the strain that this whole ordeal was putting on him. Satisfied that I wouldn't interrupt him, he continued.

  "I was 15 the first time I saw you. It was your brother’s 10th birthday and Vivian threw him a big party. Your hair was up in a ponytail, but the curls were escaping anyway. The ends of your hair were slightly redder than the rest from the sun. You were so shy, but I watched you joke and laugh with Jackie. I was too afraid to talk to you, for fear you would shoot me down. I knew Jackie would embarrass me. So I just watched. Then when the music came on you danced with such abandon, I couldn’t believe it was the same girl. You did each move like you choreographed them yourself. Ever since then, I wanted to know everything about you. Jackie talked about you constantly, and I would be on edge whenever she went to Florida, because I couldn’t wait to hear what you were up to. When she showed me the pictures from this trip, I took this one from her. She laughed at me, but let me have it.”

  I was frozen in place as he spoke. The tears were slowly leaking out my eyes as he talked, and I remembered all the events that he spoke of. Never in a million years would I have imagined this man, Julian Garza, to be a hopeless Romantic.

  “I remember. You wore these dark sunglasses. I remember thinking how cute you probably where if you would take those damn things off.”

  Julian laughed and turned back to the picture.

  “When I bumped into you at La Carra, I was completely in shock. I recognized you instantly, but you didn’t. That same pull I always felt was there for me, and judging by your reaction to me, it was there for you too. I knew then, I had to have you. It was my approach that was all wrong.”

  “Yeah. I remember thinking that I had never been so attracted to a man before. Not even my fiancé, but then you asked me to "fuck you', and that's when I thought you were crazy.”

  He grimaced at the reminder of his indiscretion. "Yeah, well let's just say that I never had to ask for it before. The look in your eyes screamed sex, take me, I want you too, but your mouth said no. I felt like I was insane." We both laughed.

  "That night in Echo, when we… Jade, I don't do that. I know you thought that way, but I just never ever felt the way you make me feel. It's like my blood boiled hot and the only way to ease it was to touch you. The more I touched you, the more I wanted you. That was the best night of my life. When I made love to you the next morning, you were so sweet and innocent. I knew right then, that I wanted to be with you. When I found out that someone was trying to kill me and I had to leave, I came to see you. My plan was to get you to come with me. Then I saw how happy you were. I watched you mingle, and dance with John and I felt crushed. Literally, like someone had me in a vice grip. There was no way I would ask you to leave your life. I'm not that selfish."

  My heart was beating rapidly at the thought of being with him. That's what I wanted despite my protests. I never stopped dreaming of him, or wanting him. Like I wanted him right now.

  Julian’s hand caressed mine, moving up past my wrist and slowly moved higher as he prolonged making a move. So I made the first move. I turned to him and pressed my body against his. His sharp inhale made me dizzy with want for him. I moaned just at the feel of him, the scent of his cologne, a mixture of citrus and musk. I could feel how tightly he was strung with tension. We both were.

  He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips against the ridge of my jaw, nibbling me lightly before he moved towards my mouth. I turned my lips into his kiss.

  When our lips met Julian moaned as he held me tighter. We kissed hungrily and sloppy, sucking tongues and biting lips as our bodies strained together. I whimpered into his mouth, my desire so strong I could taste it in the back of my throat. My arms clung to his neck as I held on.

  “Your kiss is so sweet, I can’t stop tasting you. I dream about this taste.” His words floated into the night between us. I couldn’t be more turned on, and if It was possible I didn't want to find out. I gripped the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head, with his help once he picked up on my impatience. His hands went straight to my breasts, massaging and pushing them both together as he sucked both nipples into his mouth at once. I cried out in sweet agony as the room tilted around me. Everything went out of focus and there was only Julian. His fingers traced a delicate pattern into my flesh as he kissed me into insanity. He teased me, lightly rubbing and pinching my nipples until I was wiggling against him. He seemed to find the direct line to my orgasm headquarters. My hands were planted on his waist, my mission to undress him halted with my inability to move.

  “Do you want me?” He asked hoarsely. Was this a real question?

  “Julian...” I was swimming in a pool of feelings and desires, too deep to break through.

  “Tell me,” he rasped. “Tell me you want me.”

  “I want you. I want you. I want you,” I murmured. He groaned into my mouth, pressing his hips to mine.

  “How bad, mi amor. Should I stop? Is this too much?”

  “No, don’t stop. I want you more than anything, please don’t stop.”

  There were no more words shared between us and we kissed each other hard and hungrily. I tugged at his shirt trying desperately to feel his skin against mine. I felt ravenous, like some form of wild, jungle animal in heat. Julian began to trail kisses down my neck, and across my torso towards my breast. My body arched into him, welcoming his touch, as he latched on tightly to a taught, erect nipple. The sensation of his tongue lightly caressing my sensitive peak caused my entire body to tremble. My thighs clamped around his involuntarily, and I could feel the trickle of wetness sliding down my skin. His mouth quickly covered mine to conceal the loud wanton moans that I released. Kissing me almost frantically, he slowly eased his hips in further between my thighs. Using his thumb, he blazed a trail down my torso, slipping against the sweat laced flesh of my stomach, finally circling my damp entrance. He hissed between his teeth when he discovered how aroused I really was.

  "Si! You are ready for me?" His words purred sexily into my neck, causing me to clench around his finger. A question, but not really.

  Using one hand Julian shoved down his pants with a groan, not even taking them completely off. We both watched as his thick erection bound free, lurching between us. Gripping my hips, he slowly slid his thick cock in between my upper thighs, just outside my hot aching entrance. Watching the excitement and need in his eyes while he watched where our bodies came together drove me insane. I looked down to see his shaft coated with the stickiness that was me, each time he thrust between my legs. My knees would have given out if I wasn't so mesmerized by this simple act. The final levy of my restraint burst and all I could think of was pleasing him, and feeling him fill me up like only he could. Tightening my grip around his shaft, I grabbed him fiercely by the hair and pressed my lips to his. Julian's fingers dug into my skin as he resisted his own madness.

  I used my tongue like a sword as I thrust it into his mouth, loving the way his tongue felt against mine with each stab. We stared into each other's eyes, both knowing we were on the edge. For the first time, I could see and feel all the things he said. Breathing became a chore as we both gasped through the kiss we couldn't break away from. My tongue explored the softness of his bottom lip, and I wondered how a lip could taste so good. Then I bit it, I couldn't even help myself. He winced at the shock of pain, and a growl like sound came from the depths of his soul. Before I knew it, I was tossed on the bed with Julian rolling on top of me. I could feel him, hot and rock hard against my stomach. One hand fisted into my hair as his mouth attacked my body. Har
d sucks and little bites that had me damn near begging for it. I don't even know if actual words were being formed, but I was desperate to feel him.

  "Julian!"

  "Jade?" He was toying with me, but the unmistakable tremor of lust was in his voice.

  "I want you!"

  "I know this," he continued to taunt.

  "Please? Please. C'mon." I was out of my mind. Moaning and begging him, while my body bucked wildly against his. He may have been taunting me, but I could feel his whole body vibrating against his fake composure. What was he waiting for?

  "Fuck me, Julian. Now!" My eyes pleaded with him for mercy as I squeezed and rubbed my clit in anticipation. Julian, momentarily in shock, watched me in awe. Then he snapped out of it, diving into a kiss and pulling me against him. My body opened for him eagerly and he wasted no time. His hard, thick shaft was pressed at my opening, and with a flex of his hips he was inside me.

  I moaned wildly against his lips. My nails clawed his back viciously, in my attempt to hold on. To hold on to him; to hold on from losing myself in this feeling; to hold on to my sanity.