A Home for Christmas

by Linda Ford

  They continued upward until they reached the crest of the hill. Before them lay a snow-covered vista that rose to the mountain peaks and contrasted with the blue of the sky. They both breathed deeply, taking in the beauty and serenity before them.

  She shifted her attention to him. “How do you know so much about snowy owls?” she asked.

  He grinned crookedly. “The winter days get long. Stuart has a very fine library, so I pass the time reading.”

  “And drawing.” She studied Wade, her eyes awash in blue-green. “It sounds very peaceful.”

  “It is.”

  Her eyes narrowed slightly, and he feared she might suggest there were other, happier ways to pass the time. Knowing he teetered on the edge of acknowledging he’d like nothing better than a home filled with joy and love and laughter, he turned the conversation to other things. “How did you learn about this secretarial course you want to take?” Speaking the words emptied his heart in a whoosh, leaving it echoing with wishes and regrets. If only he could be what she needed, what the children needed. But he could not be selfish and put his desires ahead of their needs.

  “I saw the advertisement in a ladies magazine back in Montana, and knew that’s what I wanted to do. The only thing that kept me from going immediately was Vic. I couldn’t leave Louise to deal with him alone.” Missy’s voice grew harsh at the mention of the man.

  “How did Vic become part of your life?” It seemed such a man would be driven from her presence.

  “When my parents died, my brother wasn’t ready to accept the task of working hard for a living. He met Vic one night and Vic persuaded him there were easier ways to make money than through honest labor.” She shrugged, though it was more a gesture of defeat than dismissal.

  Wade wanted to pull her into his arms and shield her from the dark side of life.

  She stopped and confronted him. “Do you know that man followed us all the way to Fort Macleod?”

  The idea made Wade shudder. “Sounds like a determined man.”

  “A mean, selfish, hard-hearted man with absolutely no human decency.” She swallowed audibly, her eyes flared with dislike. “Do you know what he did?”

  Wade shook his head. He had no way of knowing.

  “He kidnapped Louise right in the fort. Talk about gall. He had to know the Mounties would hunt him down. He would have taken the baby, too, but Louise managed to convince him Chloe would cry and make it impossible to hide from the authorities.”

  Despite knowing Louise and her baby had escaped, Wade felt his insides ice over. “What happened?”

  “Louise flung herself from his horse when she saw two Mounties approaching. Thank God she wasn’t hurt.”

  Wade caught Missy’s arms. He couldn’t help himself. “He might have taken you.”

  “If he’d seen me first he probably would have. The man is a snake. Nothing is beneath him.”

  “At least he’s behind bars now.” Kidnapping was a capital offense. Vic would never be a threat to her again.

  “I certainly hope so.”

  Her words made no sense. “What do you mean? Didn’t they apprehend him on the spot?”

  “I wish they had. But he rode away and the Mounties’ first concern was Louise’s safety. By the time they set out after him, he had a good head start. When we left, they had not brought word of his capture.”

  “He’s free?” Wade looked at the vast open spaces before him, this time seeing the trees that could even now be sheltering a man with evil on his mind. Wade pulled Missy to his chest, wrapping his arms across her back, bending his head over hers in an attempt to hide her.

  “Maybe Petey—the stagecoach driver—will bring news of his capture when he returns.” Her voice was muffled against his chest.

  Wade struggled to keep from tightening his arms about her even more for fear of hurting her. He glanced over his shoulder. A man could sneak up on them at any moment. “We need to get back to the ranch.”

  The tone of his voice caused her to jerk away and stare up at him. “Surely we aren’t in any danger. Vic will be running and hiding if he isn’t already captured.”

  Wade searched her gaze, wanting to keep her here in his arms, knowing he must get her back to the shelter of the ranch house. “He doesn’t sound like the sort of man to give up.” Vic might be ready to forsake his interest in Louise, seeing as she was married, though Wade wondered if that mattered at all to such a rogue. But Missy was another story.

  “You are so beautiful that I can understand if he doesn’t give up trying to get you for himself.” Wade hadn’t meant to speak the words aloud and wished he could pull them back when he saw the shock and surprise in Missy’s eyes.

  Would he never learn to understand what others needed?

  She laid splayed fingers on his chest. The color of her eyes deepened and a smile curved her mouth. “Thank you for those kind words.”

  Their gazes fused and their hearts spoke far more than any words could.

  The white owl flew past them toward the trees, seeking shelter. Wade would be wise to do the same. He turned his feet toward the path, tucking Missy against his side. “Stay close. That way you’ll be safe.”

  His words mocked him. Would he fail to protect her just as he’d failed Tomasina?

  * * *

  Missy pressed to Wade’s side. His worry had fractured her peace. She’d simply assumed Vic would have been captured by now, never to bother her again. But perhaps she was wrong. Her concern was laced with the knowledge that it seemed to matter to Wade. And for no reason that she could fathom. He wasn’t obligated to take care of her. He didn’t have a duty to protect her. Yet he showed more concern than anyone had since her parents had died. Except for Louise, of course. But even Louise had had her reasons—to keep peace in the home, to protect herself and then her baby.

  They hurried back to the yard where the children, the dog and the fawn still played. She pulled away from Wade, not wanting others to see and assign their own meaning to their closeness.

  “Joey, Annie, Grady, it’s time to go back,” he called, making Missy note how fast the afternoon had passed.

  Daisy called to her siblings. “We need to go, too.”

  Already the sun was dipping toward the mountains, throwing dark, sinister shadows across the landscape.

  Missy shuddered.

  Wade glanced about, then took a step toward her, misunderstanding her shiver for worry.

  “I’m okay,” she said. “Just getting cold.” It didn’t take long for the afternoon to lose its warmth. But it was more than the cold filling her insides with a wintry chill. It was the step back to normal. Normalcy might look good for the children, playing with friends as they were. It was less attractive for her. The few moments up the hill weren’t her usual life, knowing she must forge her own path for the future, depending on no one, was. But for a brief spell, mattering to someone had been enjoyable. It was what she truly wanted in the deep, secret places of her heart. But she could not have it and would rather not face disappointment again in seeking it.

  The children raced ahead to the house. Wade and Missy followed at a more sedate pace, though she got the impression he would have preferred she run the whole way. “You’re worrying for nothing,” she told him.

  “You can’t know that. I certainly don’t.”

  “Rest assured, if he showed up I would not let him harm the children.”

  Wade ground to a halt. “But what harm might befall you? That’s a concern.”

  She buried his words deep inside. She’d mentioned the children in the hopes he would say something exactly as he had. He had not disappointed.

  He didn’t wait for her to respond, but caught her elbow and hurried her along, not speaking again until they reached the door. He held it open and paused to look back as though he thought
Vic may have followed them.

  “I need to find Eddie.” Wade closed the door behind her. His footsteps thudded away.

  She shivered. Surely Vic was not a danger.

  Louise was in the sitting room by the window, rocking little Chloe. “I’m glad to see you enjoying yourself.”

  “Well, I was until I told Wade about Vic, and he got nervous that the man might still be following us.”

  Louise stopped rocking. She pulled Chloe closer. “Surely that’s not possible.”

  “I wouldn’t think so and said as much to Wade. But he wasn’t convinced and now I wonder. Do you think Vic is still a danger?”

  Linette came into the room in time to hear Missy’s question. “It’s wise not to take any chances until we’re certain that man has been captured. I’ll let Eddie know and he’ll alert the cowboys to keep a watch. That will make it almost impossible for anyone to get close.”

  Missy explained that Nate had already told Eddie, but relieved at her concern, she went to supervise the children. But as she played a game with them and assigned them chores to help with supper preparation, her thoughts kept harking back to the time on the hilltop when Wade had been so tender, so caring. It might be temporary but it was a moment she would cherish for the rest of her life.

  Wade returned for supper, then hurried out as soon as he had eaten.

  “He’s going to watch the place for a few hours,” Eddie said. “The men have been taking turns on guard.”

  Missy hadn’t known that and wanted to protest, to say it wasn’t necessary and she didn’t want to inconvenience others, but Louise spoke first.

  “Thank you. It’s nice to know we’re safe.”

  “I’m taking the next shift,” Nate announced. “You and Chloe will have to manage without me for a few hours.”

  Louise said, “We’ll manage,” but her eyes said she wouldn’t like it.

  Missy stared at her plate. This wasn’t only for her sake, but she felt she had become a burden to everyone on the ranch.

  Nonetheless, she had two children to take care of. It was her full responsibility now that Wade was out. She smiled as they turned to her after the dishes were done.

  “Can we play a game?” Joey asked.

  “Or you can read to us.” Annie looked expectant.

  The two glanced at each other and grinned, sharing some secret only they understood.

  “Tell us a made-up story,” Annie said, bouncing up and down as she spoke. “Like Uncle Wade did this morning.”

  What she wouldn’t have given to be a little mouse in the corner so she could have heard that. “Fine. Get ready for bed first. Mind you wash really well.” As she helped them prepare for the night, she tried to think what kind of story she would tell.

  What kind had Wade told?

  Would it be prying to ask?

  She led the children upstairs and tucked them into their cots, then sat on a chair between them.

  “Uncle Wade told about a cowboy who loved a lady,” Annie said.

  “Is that a fact?” Missy hadn’t even had to pry to get the information.

  “She was very beautiful.” Annie stumbled over the word. “And she could sing and play the piano.” She propped herself up on her elbow to consider Missy. “Can you play the piano?”

  “Passably.” She followed the direction Annie went with her questions, willing to play along because it was make-believe. Nothing would come of it.

  “She could cook,” Joey added. “Cookies and cakes and candy.”

  Missy chuckled. “Surely she could make a meal, too.”

  “Yup, fried chicken and pie. Lots of kinds of pie.”

  “What was her favorite pie?”

  He mused a moment. “I guess apple.” He nodded. “Yes, it would have to be apple.”

  Annie continued the story. “She and the cowboy got married ’cause they were in love, and they had a dozen kids. How many is that, Joey?”

  “Twelve. Six boys and six girls. And he played lots of games with them.”

  Missy’s amusement and pleasure ran clear through her, erasing debris and trash left behind by Gordie’s often cruel comments. “Wow. That sounds like a wonderful story. I don’t think I could tell a better one.”

  “Tell us about a little girl they had,” Annie begged, her brown eyes wide. “Tell us how much they loved her.”

  “That’s easy. The day little...” She paused, waiting to see if they would give a name.

  “Annabelle,” Annie said.

  Missy hid her smile knowing it was Annie’s full name.

  “The day Annabelle was born, the mama and papa looked at her and smiled. The papa said, ‘She’s just as beautiful as her mother.’ The mama said, ‘My heart is flooded with love for this perfect gift.’”

  The children hung on her every word, so Missy continued.

  “The papa knelt by the bed. He took the mama’s hand in his and pressed his other palm to the baby’s head. ‘Let’s thank God for this precious gift and ask Him to bless her every day of her life.’” Missy’s parents had often told her that they did that exact thing the day she was born. Unfortunately, their untimely death had left the prayer unanswered.

  She continued. “They introduced little Annabelle to her brothers and sisters. You see, she was baby number twelve. Many people thought they wouldn’t be so happy to have another child, but they were and her brothers and sisters adored her.” Missy continued on with a story that fulfilled the desires of her heart and perhaps those of the children, as well. She ended, “And when she was grown, she fell in love with a cowboy as strong and handsome and special as her papa. The cowboy loved her very much and they lived happily ever after.”

  The children lay back on their pillows, staring at the ceiling, quiet as they contemplated her story.

  “Does everyone live happy ever after?” Annie asked.

  Joey didn’t give Missy time to answer. “’Course not. That’s just in fairy tales. Isn’t that right, Missy?” He confronted her with a hard look that reminded her of the incident earlier in the day.

  She understood his anger. Please, God. Show me a way to help him deal with his feelings.

  “Not everyone lives happily ever after, but remember I told you how God is always with you. He promises to lead us and take care of us.” Linette kept a Bible in each room and Missy pulled a copy from the nearby drawer. “Why don’t I read some of His promises to you?” She turned to Psalm 139 and read, “‘Where shall I go from thy Spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence?’” She skipped a verse. “‘If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea: even there thy hand shall lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.’” She lowered the Bible and looked at the two intent children. They had obviously been taught to listen to the word of God. “God is with us wherever we go and He will guide our steps if we let Him.” She might have been speaking to herself. She would trust God and follow His lead. No matter where it took her or how difficult it was.

  “Now you two need to go to sleep.” She kissed each of them. Annie hugged her around the neck. Joey lay stiff and unresponsive. She hugged him nevertheless and was rewarded when he relaxed in her arms. She tiptoed out of the room even though there was no need for quiet. But it was how her mother had always said good-night.

  The memory was bittersweet. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to sleep, Missy descended to the sitting room, where a lamp burned to welcome Wade when he returned. The others had left. The new babies required that their mamas get sleep whenever they could. Nate would be leaving during the night hours.

  Missy prowled about the room, studying the paintings on the wall that Linette had done. Summer scenes of flowers in an English garden—a marked contrast to the view out the window here during daylight hours.

  She touched th
e yarn in the basket Linette kept at her feet. She’d had little time to knit in the past few days, but a pair of socks was partially done.

  Missy paused before the window, but saw only her own reflection. If she leaned closer, she could make out lit windows in three of the buildings down the hill. The ranch was settling in for the night, quiet and peaceful. But inside her, thoughts rolled and clashed, and memories awoke. Memories of her parents brought to life by the story she’d told the children. She longed for the love she’d known when they were alive. Only now she wanted something more than loving parents. She rubbed her arms where Wade had held her close.

  She wanted a love of her own.

  She shook her head and wandered down the hall. A love such as she wanted existed only in fairy tales.

  Reality was standing on her own, finding her happiness without depending on others.

  She stepped into the library, grabbed the first book her hand touched and, unable to read the title in the darkness, hurried back to the sitting room. She settled into one of the green wingback chairs where the light would allow reading and looked at the title.

  “Wives and Daughters.” She laughed aloud. Just the sort of book she did not want to read. She half rose, intending to seek something more suitable, but sank back down, curious about the contents. She opened the volume to the frontispiece—the picture of a woman reaching for a new bonnet—and saw that the book had been released in serial form in The Cornhill Magazine. She eyed some of the chapter titles. At “The New Mama,” she decided to start reading. Soon she was interested in the life of a little girl who was much loved by her father, though Missy grew impatient with her simpering ways.

  The outer door rattled, startling her from her reading. She glanced up to find Wade standing in the hallway, looking at her.

  The world tipped a little, then righted itself. She stared at him as if he’d walked from the pages of her book.

  He took his hat off and studied her with unblinking intensity. “I thought you’d be asleep.”