Love's Providence: A Contemporary Christian Romance

by Jennifer H. Westall

  She stepped onto the front porch and froze. He was right. Jackson was standing at the other end of the porch, a cell phone pressed to his ear. Her heart sped up as he met her gaze. He was giving her address to someone. Then he pushed his phone into his back pocket and looked at her for just a moment before dropping his gaze.

  She lifted her hand toward him to speak just as a loud pop sounded. Heat seared through her chest, and she gasped for air. Jackson ran toward her.

  “Lily!”

  The world went white around the edges. Another loud pop sounded, and something hit the side of the house. Someone screamed. Jackson caught her just as her knees buckled. She spun in a circle. Or maybe the sky did.

  “Get her inside, now!” Alex’s voice filled her ear.

  Another pop. Glass shattered. Jackson stumbled and nearly dropped her. She saw his face, strained, terrified. She gripped his neck. Tried to focus on breathing, but there was no air in the room. The walls moved like waves. Then the ceiling danced. Alex’s face was above hers now, his voice loud and echoing in her head. He pushed down on her chest, called her name. She sputtered and looked for Jackson.

  Alex pressed his hand over Lily’s chest as Jackson fell onto the floor with his back against the couch, his eyes wide. Blood seeped through Alex’s fingers, wet and sticky. Another gunshot rang out and glass spewed across the room.

  “Get over here and put pressure on the bleeding,” he said.

  Jackson crawled along the floor and pulled himself up to his knees. As he leaned over and placed a hand on Lily’s chest, Alex saw the blood on the back of his shirt.

  “You hit?” he asked.

  “I’m fine.” Jackson gripped his abdomen with his free hand. “What do we do now?”

  “I’m going after her.”

  Something shattered in the kitchen. The back door crashed against something. Alex jumped up and drew his gun, the wall behind the couch the only thing separating them. Glass crunched.

  He slid to the end of the couch where Lily still gasped for air, moaning as her eyes drifted open and closed. He darted across the doorway of the kitchen and pushed his back against the wall. For just a moment, everything went silent except for Lily’s labored breathing. Then in a thin slice of light he saw the muzzle of a gun approaching the doorway.

  “Drop the gun, Alex.” The familiar voice came at him like a punch to the gut. He had hoped he was wrong.

  She stepped into the sliver of light, rain glistening on the hood of her coat.

  “I can’t do that, Adrian. You know I can’t.”

  “Then shoot me.” She stopped just before she reached the doorway, still partially hidden in the shadows.

  “I don’t want to have to do that. Just drop the gun.”

  “Not until I finish her off.”

  “Adrian, this is crazy.”

  “Maybe. I don’t care. But she deserves to suffer, and so do you.”

  She inched toward the doorway. He had a clean shot. His training told him to take it, but he hesitated.

  “Don’t you think we’ve all suffered enough? Evan wouldn’t want this.”

  “Don’t say that name to me!” She stepped closer. “He never existed! He couldn’t want anything!”

  Just a little more. If she’d just step into the room a little further, maybe he could grab the gun. In his peripheral, he could see Jackson crouching as he kept pressure on Lily’s chest. He just had to keep Adrian’s focus on him, and get her to take one more step.

  “Adrian, the police already know everything, and they’re on their way. Don’t make this worse.”

  Sirens whined in the distance as if to confirm what he’d said. Just one more step. She glanced at the window behind him. She still didn’t see Jackson. But she might any second if she took another step forward.

  “Just give me the gun,” Alex said, trying to keep his voice even. “you won’t get hurt.”

  “Too late. You already took everything from me.”

  She stepped forward and started to turn toward the sofa. Jackson sprung, knocking her back. The gun went off, sending a bullet through Alex’s shoulder. He stumbled, dropped his gun, and landed on his back on the floor. Pain seared down his arm and into his fingers.

  He saw a blur of movement, wrestling bodies. His eyes refocused. Lily rolled off the couch, staggering toward Jackson and Adrian as they struggled on the floor.

  “Lily, no!”

  Alex lunged for his gun just as Adrian kicked Jackson in the gut. He shrieked and curled into a ball. Lily tried to grab onto Adrian, but she shoved Lily away like a doll, sending her crashing into the opposite wall. Lily’s eyes went wide. She slid down the wall leaving a smear of red. Alex raised his gun again.

  “Adrian!”

  Jackson pushed himself up on all fours and began to crawl toward Lily. Adrian raised her pistol and an eerie smile spread across her face.

  Alex yelled again. “Don’t!”

  Jackson threw himself in front of Lily as both guns exploded.

  Jackson’s weight crushed her against the wall for a second, pushing Lily’s breath out of her lungs. The impact ripped at her chest and sent sparks around the edge of her vision. Jackson’s momentum rolled them onto the floor, and she wound up underneath him. His body pressed down on hers, blocking any more air. He moved. Groaned. They gasped at nearly the same time.

  “Jackson?”

  She rolled enough to help him off, trying to gulp down air. She coughed again, and blood splattered from her mouth. She looked around, desperate and dizzy. Alex knelt beside Adrian feeling her neck.

  “Alex.” Lily’s voice came out raspy and distant.

  “Lily!”

  He was beside her instantly. She pushed herself up on all fours, coughing and sputtering. She looked down at Jackson.

  Blood. Everywhere.

  Breathe.

  Pooling underneath him. She had to stop it.

  Breathe.

  She looked up at Alex, panic nearly crushing her voice.

  “Help him. Please?”

  He stood and ran toward the hallway, tugging linens out of the closet. He rushed back and placed some over Jackson’s stomach.

  “We have to keep pressure on the wounds. Keep him warm.”

  Lily leaned over him, his eyes wide and glazed over.

  “Jackson? Please.” She coughed up more blood; the taste was nauseating. “I love you. Hang on, please.”

  He looked at her, but his eyes were hollow, and he said nothing. Her chest tightened even more, and the room took a serious dip. Alex moved across Jackson and put an arm around her, tugging her away.

  “You need to lie back. I’ll take care of him.”

  “No!”

  She pushed him away. He groaned and gripped his shoulder. She turned back to Jackson and kept her weight on his abdomen. The towels were soaked. Her hands were sticky and smeared with blood. Everything swam with the crimson liquid. Her stomach dipped, and she thought for a moment she might vomit. The edge of her vision grew darker by the second.

  Another set of hands reached for the towels covering Jackson. She started to push them away, but she realized he was helping. When had the paramedics arrived? Her head throbbed, and her chest burned as pain shot across to her shoulder.

  Breathe.

  Alex wrapped an arm around her and pulled her back. She couldn’t keep her grip on Jackson’s hand any longer.

  Breathe.

  Her chest buckled, and she groped to find air. She sensed movement around her, voices, prayers. Some of them even sounded like Mary. But it was fading into darkness, into a murky liquid where everything was numb. She was so tired, and cold. Her eyes closed, and she finally slept.

  Lily tried to open her eyes, but she couldn’t quite overcome the weight holding them down. Something moved beside her. Hands tucked a warm blanket around her. Her throat ached, and she tried to swallow but couldn’t. She managed to lift her eyelids for a moment. A dark figure leaned over her as a warm hand covered her arm.

/>   “I think she’s coming around.”

  “I’ll let her family know.”

  Something blurry to her left moved away. Where was she? She tried to speak, but something was in her mouth, choking her. She couldn’t even cough. Her vision began to clear, and now she could see a nurse moving equipment around, checking the numbers. She moved back to Lily’s side and offered a wide smile. Her eyes were kind and deep brown.

  “Hey there, honey,” the nurse said. “Don’t try to talk. Just rest.”

  She pushed a button on the side of the bed and it lifted Lily’s head a bit. Then the door opened, and her dad rushed in with the doctor. Her dad leaned over the bed, stroking her hair away from her face.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She nodded, and her head swam. Something sucked air into her lungs then pushed it out.

  “You need to rest right now.” He pulled back and took her hand. “Don’t worry. Everything will be all right.” He looked at the doctor and lowered his voice. “Does this mean she’s out of the woods?”

  She tried to make out his answer, but all the noises blended together, and her eyes wouldn’t stay open. She caught something about a chest tube and blood pressure before her eyes closed again. Somewhere in the distance, frantic beeps came at her out of a tunnel before fading into the blackness.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  November 3

  Birmingham, Alabama

  Alex watched the rise and fall of Lily’s chest and tried to block out the relentless questions that plagued him. But one wouldn’t be suppressed. One kept his head spinning no matter how hard he tried to reason with it.

  How could he have not seen this coming sooner?

  He replayed the last moments of Adrian’s life in his head over and over—her body turning toward Lily, her arm stretching the gun forward, her finger squeezing the trigger. He went through a thousand scenarios where he could’ve saved her. But would he have lost Lily instead?

  Somewhere inside of him, in that place he buried so deep he could pretend it didn’t exist, he knew.

  He’d lost Lily anyway.

  Her hand twitched in his, and she groaned. Then her eyes shot open and she gasped. He leaped beside her and stroked her hair.

  “Where is she?” Lily croaked.

  “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

  She tried to sit up, but he held her shoulders down as gently as he could. She coughed, and tiny drops of blackened blood spattered the white blanket.

  “Jackson…where’s Jackson?”

  “Lily, baby. Calm down. You’re okay.”

  He pressed the call button for a nurse. Lily shook her head, her eyes wide with terror.

  “She was here. I saw her. Jackson…She was shooting…”

  Her eyes darted around the room, dazed and wild. Then she reached a hand toward his shoulder, as if to make sure he was real.

  “You’re hurt.” She coughed again and wheezed as she took a breath.

  “I’m okay.” He’d never been so far from okay, but he had to find a way to soothe her. “We’re all okay. Just rest, baby.”

  A nurse entered the room behind him and went to the other side of the bed. He barely registered her question and mumbled something about Lily being upset. He brushed the hair away from her face and smoothed the worry from her brow.

  This was all his fault.

  The nurse moved around the room, checking the machines and her chest tube. She asked her if she was alright, and Lily nodded. She reassured him that Lily seemed fine.

  He thought about decking the nurse. She wasn’t fine. None of them were.

  After they were alone again, he helped her sit up a little, and got her a drink of water. Her hands shook as she brought the cup to her mouth. He took it from her and put it away.

  “Are you…” she started. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. See?” He pulled his arm up a bit, trying not to grimace. “Nothing serious.”

  “What about Jackson?”

  He sat back down beside her bed and took her hand, unsure of what she could handle.

  “He’ll pull through,” he said. “He’s strong.”

  “Pull through? What happened? Where is he?”

  He glanced away for a moment, unable to bear the weight of her fear. “I don’t know much. He was in surgery most of the night, and he’s in ICU now. He’s…holding on.”

  “What about…her?”

  His throat closed up, and he saw Adrian again, lying lifeless on the floor, bleeding out from the shot he’d delivered. He shook his head.

  Lily closed her eyes and dropped her head against her pillow. A tear slipped out and ran down her cheek. Her chest heaved, and she let out a sob. It ripped him into pieces. He was useless, unable to protect her, unable to comfort her.

  “I’m so sorry this happened,” he said.

  She opened her eyes and swiped at her tears. He handed her a Kleenex from the tray near her bed, and she wiped her nose.

  “Do you think they’ll let me see Jackson?”

  “I don’t know, Sweetie. I doubt it.”

  “Did you see him when they brought him in?”

  He nodded as more images he’d been trying to suppress fought their way to the surface—Lily passing out, all the blood, Mary’s ashen face as she prayed in the ambulance. Jackson’s heart had stopped twice just in the ride to the hospital.

  “Was he…?” She balled her hands up in her lap. “I don’t know what I’m asking.”

  “Like I said. He’ll pull through. He’s a fighter. Don’t worry.” He stroked her hair again, and her eyes blinked slowly. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

  She closed her eyes again. He had no idea how long he sat there caressing her hair, wondering what lay ahead. He wanted to believe the worst was over, but he knew better.

  Lily awoke to a dark, cold room, and she was covered with several blankets. Slowly, everything took shape as her eyes adjusted. She blinked and rubbed them, feeling the slight pull of the IV in her hand. She reached up and rubbed her aching chest, feeling the tube protruding out. Breathing seemed a little easier at least.

  Gently sliding her legs over the side of the bed, she pushed herself into a sitting position. Outside her window, the stars and moon highlighted the rolling hills in the distance, and a few solitary cars made their way along the main street. What time was it? It had to be after midnight.

  Her bladder was seriously full, but she cringed at the tiny bowl the nurse had shown her earlier in the day. No way that was happening. Maybe she should call someone to help her to the bathroom, but something deep within her needed to do it on her own.

  After giving herself a good pep talk, she tested her shaky legs. The room dipped, and she steadied herself against the bed, waiting for the chair in the corner to come back into focus. Then she stepped into the bathroom, her IV stand in tow. When she finished, she felt better and more confident on her feet, so she opened the door to her room and checked the hallway. It was empty. Maybe she could find Jackson.

  She crept down the hall toward the nurses’ station, sure that they would send her back to her room with a good scolding. But the desk was vacant, and only a couple of voices drifted from the rooms behind her. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was well after midnight. Maybe they were changing shifts.

  She continued to wander down the hallway until she found a directory on the wall, following its direction to the elevators. A middle-aged woman carrying snack cakes got on the elevator with her. She gave Lily and her IV stand a lifted eyebrow, but she said nothing, just kept her focus on the numbers on the panel lighting up one by one.

  Lily stepped off the elevator, and after a few minutes of searching, she finally found the Intensive Care wing. The air was thick with the aroma of fear and antiseptic, and it made her pulse quicken. Up ahead on the right was a nursing station. The two women behind the desk spoke quietly. Maybe they smelled the fear too.

  She wanted to avoid too much scrutiny, but she had no idea where
to find Jackson. The nurses were her only option. When she approached them, they stopped talking and frowned at her. She’d be lucky if they didn’t call security. She probably looked like an escaped mental patient.

  “Can I help you?” the one on the right said.

  She was older, and tiny, maybe not even five feet tall. But there was a sense of authority in her voice, like she was used to ordering people around.

  “I, I don’t know. I’m looking for someone.”

  “Where are you supposed to be right now?”

  Lily glanced at the other nurse, the same look of concern clouding her eyes. She was young, with a fresh face that had probably never seen a day of makeup. She looked ready to spring to Lily’s side and escort her back to where she’d come from.

  Lily gulped down air and tried again.

  “I was brought in last night with Jackson Carter. He was shot.” Her voice cracked. “I just want to know how he’s doing.”

  The nurses’ eyes darted at each other before the short one came around the desk and looked up at Lily.

  “You really shouldn’t be out walking around by yourself.”

  “Please. I just need to know if he’s okay.” Tears slid down her cheeks and she wiped them away as quickly as she could.

  “I can’t give out medical information to anyone but family.”

  “I…I am family.” It was almost true, but the nurse looked doubtful. “I’m his sister.”

  “I’ll see what I can find out for you.” She glanced back at her colleague who gave her a slight nod. “Why don’t you wait in there?” She pointed to a waiting area down the hall, and Lily made her way to a hard blue chair in the corner.

  A country music video played on the television on the opposite wall. She tried to ignore its melancholy tune. Waiting was agony. It seemed like hours passed. She finally dropped her head, closed her eyes and tried to pray, but she couldn’t form a single word in her head. Nothing. Just an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. She tried not to cry, but her body shook uncontrollably.

  A hand touched her shoulder, and she jumped.

  “Lily?” It was Mary. She looked down at her with surprise, then concern. “What are you doing up here, honey? You should be in bed.”