“You need to stay and work this shit out with Luce, son,” he tells me. “I told her I’m done with it. Told her she had until the weekend, then I was steppin’ in. She’s killin herself. She’s barely existing.”
“I gotta get to work, Thomas. I tried to talk to her today. She wasn’t interested. Looks to me like she’s with Miller now.”
He just laughs.
“Miller wishes, but no. He’s been chasin’ after her for years. That’s not who she wants. She wants you. She thinks she’s doin’ you a favor, pushin’ you away. Don’t let her do it. I know you love her. Fight for her,” he tells me.
***
Two days later, I get a call in the middle of the night, pulling me from sleep. Claire is frantic, telling me to go pick up Lucy and get her to the hospital as soon as I can. She doesn’t go into detail, and I’m having a hard time understanding what she’s saying through the panic that’s evident in her voice, but she says Lucy needs to get there fast so they can prep her for surgery. Dr. Amador and his transplant team are waiting for her. I might be half asleep, but I know that if this was a kidney coming UNOS, the call would be going straight to Lucy from the hospital, not coming to me from her hysterical mother. There’s only one explanation I can come up with for this middle of the night phone call.
I throw on my clothes and haul ass to her apartment. I’m not sure who knows what at this point. I’m assuming Lucy, Maggie, and Miller don’t know anything, or I wouldn’t be the one tasked with bringing Luce to the hospital, so I decide to get her there and not give out any information. I let myself in the apartment, using the key that she gave me and didn’t bother getting back when she ripped my fucking heart out. I turn on the hall light and slowly open her bedroom door. I don’t want to startle her.
When I look inside, a haze of anger coats my vision. I’m pissed as hell at the picture in front of me. She’s in bed, curled around a pillow, Miller behind her, wrapped around her tiny frame, cradling it. This is not happening. I thought I made myself clear. He isn’t supposed to touch her.
I pull him out of the bed, a surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I push him up against the wall.
“Did I not make myself clear the first time? Keep your goddamn hands to yourself. She is not yours to touch. Why the fuck are you in bed with her?”
He’s clearly confused and disoriented, wondering why I have him pinned to the wall in the middle of the night when I shouldn’t even be here to begin with.
I hear Lucy moving around the bed, waking up. I let go of Miller, throwing him aside. I need to focus on her right now.
“Lucy, I need you to get dressed and come with me.”
She’s looking at me, puzzled and a bit dazed.
“What’s going on?” she asks, rubbing her eyes, then her forehead, confused.
“I need you to throw on some clothes quickly and come with me. We gotta get you to the hospital right now. They have a donor.”
She starts to stutter, trying to ask questions, not sure what to ask first. I have to shut this down. I don’t have the answers she needs. I don’t want to tell her what I think is going on.
“Lucy, I don’t know anything. Please, just get dressed and let’s go. Now.”
She gets out of bed and walks over to the closet, dressing quickly. Thank God. Miller goes to his room, I’m assuming to put on some clothes.
“You can meet us there,” I call to him.
I don’t want him in the car with us.
She’s silent on the short ride to the hospital. I can feel her eyes on me while I’m driving. For the first time since I met her, I resist the urge to look at her. If I make eye contact, she will try to talk to me. I can’t tell her anything. I don’t know what to say. When we pull up, I shoot a quick text to Claire, letting her know we made it. I take Lucy to the sixth floor, where we are bombarded with a team of doctors and nurses. Claire is absent. They are pulling Lucy away from me, talking ninety to nothing, explaining what is about to happen, but never mentioning a donor’s name. She looks about ready to bolt.
“Bennett,” she screams, reaching out for me.
I hold my hand out to her, and she grabs on like I’m her lifeline, flinging her tiny frame into my body. I wrap my arms around her. My God, she’s lost so much weight. She breathes a huge sigh of relief. So do I. Even under these awful circumstances, it feels so good to have her back where she belongs.
“Stay with me, please. I’m scared,” she whispers.
I’m scared too. I don’t know the situation surrounding this. I could find out in an instant since I work here, but I’m not leaving Lucy until they pry her from my arms. We just need to get the transplant done. Then we can worry about the rest.
“I’m not going anywhere, Lucy.”
She clings to me while they go over consent forms with her. The only time she lets me go is to sign her name each of the half a million times it’s required on the paperwork. I have to let them take her away from me to prep her for the surgery. I look into her eyes and try to convey all the words I want to say, but don’t want to scare her with. I love her so much. Surely, she’s knows that hasn’t changed. I kiss her tenderly and let her go.
When I have a minute to myself, I take out my phone. I still don’t have a response from Claire. Just then, Miller and Maggie arrive. They start asking dozens of questions. I tell them what I know, which is jack shit. Just that Lucy is being prepped for surgery and that she’s getting a kidney from an unknown donor. I don’t mention where I think it’s coming from. It’s not my place.
A nurse comes out and says Lucy is asking for me. She tells me that she’s been given something to help her relax, so she’s a little loopy. Good. Maybe I can get through to her.
“Benny, hi,” my girl says, her Southern drawl exaggerated, a beautiful smile on her face.
I laugh. Her huge smile might be a medically induced one, but I’m so damn happy to see it. It’s been too long since I’ve had one directed at me.
“Hi, sweet girl. Feel good?” I ask.
She nods in slow motion.
“I’m tired. I never said it back.”
Meds are kicking in. She’s not making any sense.
“What, Luce?”
“I love you, Bennett. I never said it back to you that night.”
I pull in in a sharp breath, feeling like I’ve just been punched. I’ve been waiting to hear her say those words to me. I wasn’t expecting it to be when she’s about to be wheeled back for a kidney transplant and high as a kite, but, whatever. I’ll take them any way I can get them at this point.
“It’s okay. Let’s worry about getting you well.”
Her eyes are heavy, but she’s fighting to keep them open.
“That’s why I did it,” she says. Her speech is starting to slur.
I shake my head. I don’t understand what she’s saying.
“Lucy, you need to go to sleep. We don’t have to talk right now.”
She’s yawning, trying to battle the medicine coursing through her veins.
“Yes we do. I love you too much to stay with you. That’s why I’m hurting you now. I don’t want you to hurt even worse when I die. It’s gonna hurt waaay worse.”
She’s out.
Chapter Twenty-three
I wake up, groggy, disoriented, and in pain. Sights and smells attack my senses, letting me know I’m in a hospital, not at home in my bed. I try to focus for a minute, and memories come flooding back. Miller and I falling asleep in my room, Bennett barging in there in the middle of the night, rushing me to the hospital, signing consent papers for a transplant. After that, details are all fuzzy and jumbled. I open my eyes, glancing around. Mom is passed out on the small couch beside my hospital bed. I see a beautiful arrangement of tulips on the table next to me. I move an inch, and pain shoots through my entire abdomen. Shit, that hurts. I push the call button. A nurse immediately comes in.
“Oh, good, Lucy, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” she asks.
“Like I’ve been sawed in half and sewn back together.”
She doesn’t think I’m funny.
“Oh, and like I’m about to barf everywhere.”
Mom hears me and starts to wake up. She looks terrible. I guess she’s been here this whole time. I don’t remember seeing her before the surgery. Just Bennett.
“Can I have something for the pain?” I ask my nurse.
“Of course. Let me finish taking your vitals and I’ll go get something.”
We do that whole ‘how bad is your pain on a scale of one to ten’ thing, and she leaves. Mom pulls a chair up to the bed.
“Hey, Goose.”
I give her a smile and try to turn towards her, but it hurts too damn bad. I stay flat on my back and just turn my head.
“Can you fill me in, Mom? Bennett rushed me here, and I don’t even know how he got involved in this. If he told me what was going on, I don’t remember. I’m really confused.”
She starts crying. She looks like she’s aged 20 years overnight. I’m scared now. I’ve never seen Mom like this. I thought everything was fine, so she shouldn’t be reacting like this. She should be happy.
“Was my surgery a bust?” I ask, terrified she’s gonna say ‘yes’.
“No, baby, it was perfect. You are gonna be fine. We just have to make sure you stay on your new meds to prevent rejection of your new kidney.”
“You should be happy, Mom.”
“Oh, I am. Lucy, we need to talk about your donor.” She stops talking and looks down at her hands, a fresh wave of tears coming down her face. She’s not even trying to stop the flow.
“Please, Mom, just say it.”
“Your daddy was working extra duty last night when-“
“No,” I shake my head back and forth, the movement pulling at the incision in my side. I don’t want to listen to any more. I know where this is going, and I can’t do this right now.
“Lucy, listen to me. I know it’s hard but-”
“No, not if it’s about Daddy. He can’t be gone. This isn’t funny, Mom. He’s not here because he’s just at home with Ava.”
I can hear my machines going off like crazy, alarms beeping and ringing. Just then the nurse comes back in, injecting some happy juice in my IV line.
“No, Momma, please, stop talking. I can’t listen to anymore,” I’m begging her.
She’s just holding me carefully, apologizing over and over for the devastating news she’s trying to deliver, but I won’t let the story leave her mouth.
If she doesn’t say it, it’s not true.
I wake up again, praying before I open my eyes that it was just a dream. The pulling and tugging I feel at my stomach tells me that this nightmare is real. I had my transplant. Mom didn’t finish her story, but I got the gist of it. Daddy is gone. He got his wish. I got his kidney, but he had to die for it to happen. God, my poor Mom. He was her whole life. He was the center of her world, her whole reason for living. And, Jesus, Ava. What about her? My chest is killing me. My poor heart hurts worse than where my body was hacked open.
I can feel Bennett move towards the bed before I even open my eyes. He lays his hands on either side of my face, kissing my forehead.
“I know you’re awake, Luce. Your machines are telling on you. Open those beautiful eyes and tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s all true, isn’t it?” I whisper, my eyes still closed.
“I’m sorry, sweet girl. It is. Look at me.”
He knows that does it every time.
I open my eyes and look at him. He’s torn up about this, too. He and Daddy had gotten so close. They spent lots of time together, trying to figure out how to get me to come around.
“I’m sorry, too, Bennett.”
“For what?”
“Everything I put you through. I thought pushing you away was helping you. I thought it would be better for you. He was so mad about this,” I laugh and cry at the same time, thinking of my Daddy, trying to fix us.
Bennett chuckles. “I know. He made sure to tell me about it every chance he got.”
“He was pretty pissed at me,” I tell Bennett, tears falling. I know he wasn’t really mad, he just knew what was best for me. He always did.
“You know what the last thing was that he told me, Luce?”
I shake my head no.
“He told me to fight for you. So, that’s what I’m doing. I’m not letting you push me away anymore. I’m done, Lucy. So, get ready. I’m about to put up the fight of my fucking life. I want you back in my life. I need you back, Lucy.”
I shake my head, smiling. He’s crazy if he thinks I’m able to resist him anymore. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.
“You won’t have to fight too hard, Bennett. I’m done, too. I’m done being alone. I’m done living without you. For once, I think I’ll listen to Daddy. He told me to take your love, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m yours. I never stopped being yours, even when I wasn’t with you.”
He pulls me to his body, I groan in protest.
“Shit, sorry.” He pulls away and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. “How much did Claire tell you?”
My mood takes a nosedive.
“I didn’t want to hear any of it. I wouldn’t let her explain.”
“Lucy, you have to deal with it. You can’t brush it under the rug,” he tells me, trying to dry my tears.
“I know, just not right now. It’s too much, for me and Mom.”
Bennett nods, dropping the subject for now.
“Did she tell you about Ava?”
“Ava? Is she OK?”
“Don’t move! I’ll be right back,” he says, darting out of the room.
These drugs they are giving me are serious business. I am nodding off again, but wake up when Bennett comes back in, but with Ava this time. Ava, however, is being pushed in a wheelchair. I shake my head to clear it. Am I hallucinating now?
“Lucy, we match,” she says, in a tired voice.
I look at Bennett, confused. I need him to clarify because I don’t understand what she’s talking about.
“Luce, Ava and Thomas were a match, too.”
I can’t wrap my brain around this. It’s unbelievable.
“What are you talking about?” It’s still not making sense to me.
“Claire had it checked when he was rushed here after the accident. Ava’s information is on file here because she’s listed on UNOS. Since she’s his legal daughter, we could bypass the registry and do a private donation. He saved her life, too.”
That’s twice that my father managed to save Ava’s life.
“Bennett, can she get in the bed with me?” I ask.
I want her close to me. I don’t know if she’s old enough to realize what is happening. Not only are we sisters in the legal sense, but my father’s last act of kindness has bonded us for life.
Bennett helps me move over to make room for her tiny body. He gently and slowly lifts her small frame and places her in the bed with me. I hold her as best I can manage, weeping silent tears against the crown of her head. Tears of mourning for my father, tears of relief to have Bennett back, tears of sorrow for my mother, and tears of happiness that Ava and I both have a shot at life now. Bennett leaves the room, letting us have this moment.
I wake up when I feel Ava being moved from my bed. A new nurse is back, taking my vitals, checking out my incision site, and giving me more medicine. Bennett is still in the room, dozing in the corner on a tiny pull-out couch. It’s a reassuring sight. I’m so content to have him back in my life. I don’t know where Mom is. I don’t know if I can handle hearing about Daddy from her. I don’t want to burden her with the task of reliving it. If Bennett knows what happened, I need it to come from him.
I ask the nurse to help me wash my face, brush my teeth, and braid my hair. Maybe if I feel a little more human it will help. After I get cleaned up, I call Bennett over to the bed.
“Bennett, I need you to get in bed with me,” I ask him in a timid v
oice.
“Luce, I don’t know if we can do that quite yet,” he says with a wink.
I don’t smile or respond to his joke.
“What’s wrong, sweet girl? What do you need?”
“I think I’m ready to hear about Daddy. Well, I’m not ready, but I need you to tell me what happened. Do you know?”
“Yeah. Your Mom filled me in when you were in surgery. Are you sure you don’t want to hear it from her?” he asks, searching my face.
“I can’t hear it from her. I don’t want her to have to tell it. God, those two were so in love. Sometimes, it was hard for me to watch. I thought it would be impossible to ever find what they had.”
Bennett lowers the railing on the side of my bed and moves my body as gently as he can to the other side. He climbs in and gets on his side, his head resting in his hand. It’s a snug fit, and a little painful, but I need him close.
“Ready?” he asks.
“No, but I’ll never be ready. Go ahead.”
I close my eyes, and Bennett’s cheek rests against the top of my head. He takes a few breaths before starting.
“You know, this is hard for me, too. Thomas and I spent almost every night together while you and I were apart. We ended up fixing your Jeep. We talked about you, but I also told him about my past.”
My eyes open, and I tilt my face to look up at Bennett. He’s never told anyone else about his past except me. That must have been huge for him.
“What did he say?”
“I remember every single word. He said, ‘Well, son, you can’t say you don’t have a family anymore. You have us now. Next step is to get Lucy’s head out of her ass. Come on, let’s go see what that amazing wife of mine has made for supper.’”
I laugh, even though it hurts. I’m so happy that he gave that to Bennett.
“Band-aid, Bennett. Just rip it off.”
He sucks in a huge breath and starts. I close my eyes and brace myself for what he’s about to tell me.
“Thomas was working an extra patrol shift the night I came to get you. Some guy was driving too slow and had a busted tail light. Your dad pulled him over.”
More Than Ever: The Home Series, Book One Page 19