The Best of Joe Haldeman

by Joe W. Haldeman

  “But they fixed it. The break might not show.”

  “It will show,” Dr. Estrada said. “Unless there was some kind of... magic involved.”

  Mother’s face was getting red. “Would you both leave? I need to talk to Carmen alone.” They both nodded and went out.

  Mother watched the door close. “I know you aren’t lying. You’ve never been good at that.”

  “Thanks,” I said. Thanks for nothing.

  “But it was a stupid thing to do, going off like that, and you know it.”

  “I do, I do! And I’m sorry for all the trouble I—”

  “But look. I’m a scientist, and so is your dad, after a fashion, and so is almost everybody else who’s going to hear this story today. You see what I’m saying?”

  “Yeah, I think so. They’re going to be skeptical.”

  “Of course they are. They don’t get paid for believing things. They get paid for questioning them.”

  “And you, Mother. Do you believe me?”

  She stared at me with a fierce intensity I’d never seen before in my life. “Look. Whatever happened to you, I believe one hundred percent that you’re telling the truth. You’re telling the truth about what you remember, what you believe happened.”

  “But I might be nuts.”

  “Well, wouldn’t you say so? If I came in with your story? You’d say ‘Mom’s getting old.’ Wouldn’t you?”

  “Yeah, maybe I would.”

  “And to prove that I wasn’t crazy, I would take you out and show you something that couldn’t be explained any other way. You know what they say about extraordinary claims?”

  “They require extraordinary evidence.”

  “That’s right. Once the storm calms down, you and I are going out to where you say...to where you fell through to the cave.” She put her hand on the back of my head and rubbed my hair. “I so much want to believe you. For my sake as well as yours. To find life here.”

  ~ * ~

  7. THE DRAGON LADY

  Mother wanted to call a general assembly, so I could tell everybody the complete story, all at once, but Dargo Solingen wouldn’t allow it. She said that children do stunts like this to draw attention to themselves, and she wasn’t going to reward me with an audience. Of course she’s an expert about children, never having had any herself. Good thing. They’d be monsters.

  So it was like the whisper game, where you sit in a circle and whisper a sentence to the person next to you, and she whispers it to the next, and so on. When it gets back to you, it’s all wrong, sometimes in a funny way.

  This was not particularly funny. People would ask if I was really going around on the surface without a Mars suit, or think the Martians stripped me naked and interrogated me, or they broke my ankle on purpose. I put a detailed account on my website, but a lot of people would rather talk than read.

  The MRI didn’t help much, except for people who wanted to believe I was lying. Dr. Jefferson said it looked like an old childhood injury, long ago healed. Mother was with me at the time, and she told him she was absolutely sure I’d never broken that ankle. To people like Dargo Solingen that was a big shrug; so I’d lied about that, too. I think we won Dr. Jefferson over, though he was inclined to believe me, anyhow. So did most of the people who came over on the John Carter with us. They were willing to believe in Martians before they’d believe I would make up something like that.

  Dad didn’t want to talk about it, but Mother was fascinated. I went to talk with her at the lab after dinner (she and two others were keeping a 24-hour watch on an experiment). “I don’t see how they could be actual Martians,” she said, “in the sense that we’re Earthlings. I mean, if they evolved here as oxygen-water creatures similar to us, then that was three billion years ago. And, as you said, a large animal isn’t going to evolve alone, without any other animals. Nor will it suddenly appear, without smaller, simpler animals preceding it. So they must be like us.”

  “From Earth?”

  She laughed. “I don’t think so. None of the eight-limbed creatures on Earth has very high technology. I think they have to have come from yet another planet. Unless we’re completely wrong about areology, about the history of conditions on this planet, they can’t have come from here.”

  “What if they used to live on the surface?” I said. “Then moved underground as the planet dried up and lost its air?”

  She shook her head. “The time scale. No species more complicated than a bacterium has survived for billions of years.”

  “None on Earth,” I said.

  “Touché,” she laughed. A bell chimed and she went to the other side of the room and looked inside an aquarium, or terrarium. Or ares-arium, here, I suppose. She looked at the things growing inside and typed some numbers onto her clipboard.

  “So they went underground three billion years ago with the technology to duplicate what sounds like a high-altitude Earth environment. And stayed that way for three billion years.” She shook her head. “It’s not likely. And I still want to know where the fossils are. Maybe they dug them all up and destroyed them, just to confuse us?”

  “But it’s not like we’ve looked everywhere. Paul says it may be that life wasn’t distributed uniformly, and we just haven’t found any of the islands where things lived. The dinosaurs or whatever.”

  “Well, you know it didn’t work that way on Earth. Fossils everywhere, from the bottom of the sea to the top of the Himalayas. Crocodile fossils in Antarctica.”

  “Okay. That’s Earth.”

  “It’s all we have. Coffee?” I said no and she poured herself half a cup. “You’re right that it’s weak to generalize from one example. Paul could very well be right, too; there’s no evidence one way or the other.

  “But look. We know all about one form of life on Mars: you and me and the others. We have to live in an artificial bubble that contains an alien environment, maintained by high technology, because we are the aliens here. So you stumble on eight-legged potato people who also live in a bubble that contains an alien environment, evidently maintained by high technology. The simplest explanation is that they’re aliens, too. Alien to Mars.”

  “Yeah, I don’t disagree. I know about Occam’s Razor.”

  She smiled at that. “What’s fascinating to me, one of many things, is that you spent hours in that environment and felt no ill effects. Their planet’s very earthlike.”

  “What if it was Earth?”

  That stopped her. “Wouldn’t we have noticed?”

  “I mean a long time ago. What if they lived only on mountain tops, and developed high technology thousands and thousands of years ago. Then they all left.”

  “It’s an idea,” she said. “But it’s hard to believe that every one of them would be willing and able to leave—and that there would be no trace of their civilization, ten or even a hundred thousand years later. And where are their genetic precursors? The eight-legged equivalent of apes?”

  “You don’t really believe me.”

  “Well, I do; I do,” she said seriously. “I just don’t think there’s an easy explanation.”

  “Like Dargo Solingen’s? The Figment of Imagination Theory?”

  “Especially that. People don’t have complex consistent hallucinations; they’re called hallucinations because they’re fantastic, dreamlike.

  “Besides, I saw the dog; you couldn’t have put that dent in it with a lead-lined baseball bat. And she can’t explain the damage to your Mars suit, either, without positing that you leaped off the side of a cliff just to give yourself an alibi.” She was getting worked up. “And I’m your mother, even if I’m not a model one. I would goddamn remember if you had ever broken your ankle! That healed hairline fracture is enough proof for me— and for Dr. Jefferson and Dr. Milius and anybody else in this goddamned hole who didn’t convict you before you opened your mouth.”

  “You’ve been a good mother,” I said.

  She suddenly sat u
p and hugged me across the table. “Not so good. Or you wouldn’t have done this.”

  She sat down and rubbed my hand. “But if you hadn’t done it—” She laughed. “—how long would it have been before we stumbled on these aliens? They’re watching us, but don’t seem eager to have us see them.”

  The window on the wall was a greenboard of differential equations. She clicked on her clipboard and it became a real-time window. The storm was still blowing, but it had thinned out enough so I could see a vague outline of Telegraph Hill.

  “Maybe tomorrow we’ll be able to go out and take a look. If Paul’s free, he’d probably like to come along; nobody knows the local real estate better than him.”

  I stood up. “I can hardly wait. But I will wait, promise.”

  “Good. Once is enough.” She smiled up at me. “Get some rest. Probably a long day tomorrow.”

  Actually, I was up past midnight catching up on schoolwork, or not quite catching up. My brain wouldn’t settle down enough to worry about Kant and his Categorical Imperative. Not with aliens out there waiting to be contacted.

  ~ * ~

  8. BAD COUGH

  Paul was free until 1400, so right after breakfast we suited up and equipped a dog with extra oxygen and climbing gear. He’d done a lot of climbing and caving on both Earth and Mars. If we found the hole—when we found the hole—he was going to approach it roped up, so if he broke through the way I did, he wouldn’t fall far or fast.

  I’d awakened early with a slight cough, but felt okay. I got some cough suppressant pills from the first-aid locker, chewed one and put two in my helmet’s tongue-operated pill cache.

  We went through the airlock and weren’t surprised to see that the storm had covered all my tracks, and everyone else’s—including Red’s; I was hoping that his sawhorse thing might have gouged out a distinctive mark when it stopped.

  We still had a good chance of finding the hole, thanks to the MPS built into the suit and its inertial compass. I’d started counting steps, going west, when I set out from Telegraph Hill, and was close to five thousand when I fell through. That’s about four kilometers, maybe an hour’s walk in the daytime.

  “So we’re probably being watched,” Mother said, and waved to the invisible camera. “Hey there, Mr. Red! Hello, Dr. Green! We’re bringing back your patient with the insurance forms.”

  I waved, too, both arms. Paul put up both his hands palm out, showing he wasn’t armed. Though what it would mean to a four-armed creature, I wasn’t sure.

  No welcoming party appeared, so we went to the right of Telegraph Hill and started walking and counting. A lot of the terrain looked familiar. Several times I had us move to the left or right when I was sure I had been closer to a given formation.

  We walked a half-kilometer or so past Paul’s wrecked dumbo. I hadn’t seen it in the dark.

  Suddenly I noticed something. “Wait! Paul! I think it’s just ahead of you.” I hadn’t realized it, walking in the dark, but what seemed to be a simple rise in the ground was actually rounded, like an overturned shallow bowl.

  “Like a little lava dome, maybe,” he said. “That’s where you fell through.” He pointed at something I couldn’t quite see from my angle and height. “Big enough for you and the dog, anyhow.”

  He unloaded his mountaineering stuff from the dog, then took a hammer and pounded into the ground a long piton, which is like a spearpoint with a hole for the rope. Then he did another one about a foot away. He passed an end of the rope through both of them and tied it off.

  He pulled on the rope with all his weight. “Carmen, Laura, help me test this.” We did and it still held. He looped most of the rope over his shoulder and took a couple of turns under his arms, and then clamped it through a metal thing he called a crab. It’s supposed to keep you from falling too fast, even if you let go.

  “This probably isn’t all necessary,” he said, “since I’m just taking a look down. But better safe than dead.” He backed up the slight incline, checking over his shoulder, and then got on his knees to approach the hole.

  I held my breath as he took out a big flashlight and leaned over the edge. I didn’t hear mother breathing, either.

  “Okay!” he said. “There’s the side reflector that broke off your dog. I’ve got a good picture.”

  “Good,” I tried to say, but it came out as a cough. Then another cough, and then several, harder and harder. I felt faint and sat down and tried to stay calm. Eyes closed, shallow breathing.

  When I opened my eyes, I saw specks of blood on the inside of my helmet. I could taste it inside my mouth and on my lips. “Mother, I’m sick.”

  She saw the blood and kneeled down next to me. “Breathe. Can you breathe?”

  “Yes. I don’t think it’s the suit.” She was checking the oxygen fitting and meter on the back.

  “How long have you felt sick?”

  “Not long...well, now I do. I had a little cough this morning.”

  “And didn’t tell anybody.”

  “No, I took a pill and it was all right.”

  “I can see how all right it was. Do you think you can stand?”

  I nodded and got to my feet, wobbling a little. She held on to my arm. Then Paul came up and held the other.

  “I can just see the antenna on Telegraph Hill,” he said. “I’ll call for the jeep.”

  “No, don’t,” I pleaded. “I don’t want to give the Dragon the satisfaction.”

  Mother gave a nervous laugh. “This is way beyond that, sweetheart. Blood in your lungs? What if I let you walk back and you dropped dead?”

  “I’m not going to die.” But saying that gave me a horrible chill. Then I coughed a bright red string onto my faceplate. Mother eased me back down, and awkwardly sat with my helmet in her lap while Paul shouted “Mayday!” over the radio.

  “Where did they come up with that word?” I asked Mother.

  “Easy to understand on a radio, I guess. ‘Mo’ dough’ would work just as well.” I heard the click as her glove touched my helmet. Trying to smooth my hair.

  I didn’t cry. Embarrassing to admit, but I guess I felt kind of important, dying and all. Dargo Solingen would feel like shit for doubting me. Though the cause-and-effect link there wasn’t too clear.

  I lay there trying not to cough for maybe twenty minutes before the jeep pulled up, driven by Dad. One big happy family. He and mother lifted me into the back and Paul took over the driving, leaving the dog and his climbing stuff behind.

  It was a fast and rough ride back. I got into another coughing spasm and spattered more blood and goop on the faceplate.

  Mother and Dad carried me into the airlock like a sack of grain or something, and then were all over each other trying to get me out of the Mars suit. At least they left the skinsuit on while they hurried me through the corridor and mess area to Dr. Jefferson’s aid station.

  He asked my parents to step outside, set me on the examination table, and stripped off the top of the skinsuit, to listen to my breathing with a stethoscope. He shook his head.

  “Carmen, it sure sounds as if you’ve got something in your lungs. But when I heard you were coming in with this, I looked at the whole-body MRI we took yesterday, and there’s nothing there.” He clicked on his clipboard and asked the window for my MRI, and there I was in all my transparent glory.

  “Better take another one.” He pulled the top up over my shoulders. “You don’t have to take anything off; just lie down here.” The act of lying down made me cough sharply, but I caught it in my palm.

  He took a tissue and gently wiped my hand, and looked at the blood. “Damn,” he said quietly. “You aren’t a smoker. I mean on Earth.”

  “Just twice. Once tobacco and once pot. Just one time each.”

  He nodded. “Now take a really deep breath and try to hold it.” He took the MRI wand and passed it back and forth over my upper body. “Okay. You can breathe now.

  “New picture,�
� he said to the window. Then he was quiet for too long.

  “Oh my. What...what could that be?”

  I looked, and there were black shapes in both of my lungs, about the size of golf balls. “What is...what are they?”

  He shook his head. “Not cancer, not an infection, this fast. Bronchitis wouldn’t show up black, anyhow. Better call Earth.” He looked at me with concern and something else, maybe puzzlement. “Let’s get you into bed in the next room, and I’ll give you a sedative. Stop the coughing. And then maybe I’ll take a look inside.”

  “Inside?”

  “Brachioscopy, put a little camera down there. You won’t feel anything.”