The Hobgoblin Riot: Dominion of Blades Book 2: A LitRPG Adventure

by Matt Dinniman

  Poppy: Okay. Kill ‘em all for me.

  Kitty Chapman: Fuck yeah. Metallica rocks.

  Crystal: Metallica sucks.

  Kitty Chapman: Shut the hell up. It’s better than that poser Nelson shit.

  Crystal: You take that back right now. Ace. Play Love and Affection next.

  Malik: Whatever.

  Archie looked up from the map. He scratched absently at his neck. The texugo had been especially fidgety all day, like he was actually nervous. Or maybe he just had fleas. “Okay, mate. The basan and their riders are gathering at the second bridge. It’s going to trigger in three, two…”

  War Party> Custom Ghost Ship Trap in B1 triggered.

  War Party Admin> Calculating casualties… 2,874 casualties. 110,987 invaders remain.

  “Holy hell,” I said. “I think you got all of them!” That damn trap had worked! It’d killed all the chickens and their riders in one move.

  “Yes!” Archie said, raising his fist in the air.

  Gretchen had provided the necessary final ingredient for the trap. Earlier, Jonah had suggested over chat that she try to go fishing to see if she could discover any more mastery abilities. The water of the Cassagnac river was poisoned, but it didn’t stop her from trying to fish. She’d scrounged up a pole somewhere, cast it into the water, and had been inundated with new abilities. One of them was a spell called Gowdy’s Unbreakable Line, which was a spell that created what appeared to be a very fine, very strong, very sharp fishing line. It cost one mystic point per meter, and Gretchen had spent the better part of today shooting that shit out of her like she was a damn silkworm on crystal. We’d placed multiple tripwires and neck-level lines throughout the latter parts of the spiral.

  For the Ghost Ship trap, Archie had devised an even more insidious use of the unbreakable fishing line. This was a new trap, something he’d come up with on his own. Once the trap was triggered, it waited a good four minutes to activate, allowing the targets to bunch up near the single-file river crossing. The wire was pulled taut between two poles that spanned the width of the spiral path. Upon activation, the poles popped up and traveled the distance from the castle to the bridge, pulled forth by twin Summon Object spells. The poles moved incredibly fast, traveling the quarter mile in mere seconds.

  The fishing wire sliced effortlessly through anything in its path.

  We’d tested it, and it’d been fast and sharp enough to slice through steel like it was made of hot butter. Archie had rigged it so that once it activated, it would zip back and forth. The line was now traveling back and forth down the straight, and it would bisect anything stupid enough to get in its way. He’d said if he’d had more time he’d be able to devise something that would travel much further than just that quarter mile stretch.

  “Dude, you are one sick motherfucker,” I said.

  Spritz, who was also watching the map pointed. “These new hobgoblin invaders are not moving forward. They are coming into the spiral and gathering just inside the gate.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “They don’t want to creep up behind Miss Octopus. She’d already killed half them. I bet they’re going to wait a bit before venturing deeper.”

  Archie grimaced, pointing at the map. “It doesn’t look like the others are marching forward either. Their lead contingent is gathering at the base of the Sentinel Tower.”

  War Party> Castle One has been occupied by enemy forces.

  “Oh shit, they’re sending troops up to attack the triplets,” I said. Shit! We hadn’t anticipated that.

  “Hmm,” Archie said, leaning over the map. “It looks like it wasn’t many. They’re continuing on their way now. Do you have anyone guarding the pathway to the top? Can they even get in there if it’s sow only?”

  “There’s one guard,” I said. “I don’t know about the girl thing. Are those kappa dudes boys or girls? How can you tell?”

  “Are you asking me?” Archie said, shrugging. “How the hell would I know, mate? I just work here.”

  Poppy: Ace, Malik, whatever your name is. You’re going to have company soon, buddy.

  Malik: I see them. Do not worry. It is a long staircase, and the acoustics in here are divine.

  Jonah Note 28

  Finally, after what seemed like two hours, the main Harmony fast travel portal came online.

  “Close that hole,” I roared, and a pair of mounted spider hobgoblins pushed forward.

  It’d turned into a war of attrition. The viper fish sensed blood in the water. Content to allow those trapped in the castle to wait, they turned their attention on us. Thousands upon thousands of them stood upon the muddy and devastated streets of Harmony, patiently waiting their turn to hammer at the exhausted and beleaguered hobgoblins.

  “I’m going to open the portal,” I cried, jumping back to the mechanism.

  A strange, green creature appeared out of nowhere. It was round, about the size of a beachball, and it hovered in the air, trailing colorful sparkles. She looked like an anime caricature of a cute dragon. She had a yellow dot on the map. A game guide! Her name was “Portal Penny.”

  Really?

  “Welcome, Your Majesty. Where would you like to go today?” the cartoonish character said, speaking fast and high-pitched.

  A full-screen map appeared in my vision, and I briefly marveled at the sight. Thousands of twinkling bright lights covered the map of the world. I didn’t have time to gawk. I zoomed in on Paris, picking the city of Quibou.

  “Are you traveling by yourself or with a group?”

  I hesitated. I’d promised Popper and Gretchen I wouldn’t go back. The moment I set foot back in Quibou, I’d once again lose access to the kingdom management menu, and I would once again be arrowed.

  Fuck it. I’d promised them I’d stay away before they’d lost their regen spot. We were all in deep shit now.

  “So I’m going,” I said. I pointed over my shoulder. “And I’m taking them with me. The hobgoblins, not the fish dudes.”

  The game guide’s eyes boggled. “All of them?” she asked. Her eyes flashed. “Are you taking the fairies, too?”

  “Yes, he is,” a new voice said. Millicent the banded sylph appeared next to me. The small, red fairy dripped with blood. She shuttered. “I haven’t felt this alive since the Unification Wars.”

  “I thought you were a healer,” I said.

  “My babies are healers and protectors,” she said. “I am a banded sylph. I am a daughter of Montu.”

  “Okay,” I said. “What’s your fairy power?”

  She giggled. She zipped forward and booped me on the nose. “You’re silly.”

  “Okay,” Portal Penny said. “That will be 3,125,321 jacks. How will you pay today?”

  “What?” I asked. “This is on official crown business!”

  “And?”

  “I have like 20,000 jacks on me. That’s it. I hadn’t realized I’d have to pay for all of them.”

  She sighed heavily. “You may choose to pay using the treasury, but there will be a 5% surcharge.” Behind us, a hobgoblin screamed as he was speared in the face. “Also, no refunds on those who don’t…make it…to the portal.”

  “Yes, whatever, do it,” I said.

  “Thanks for your business! Have a nice trip!” The massive portal flashed into existence, a swirl of blue and purple.

  “Retreat!” I called. “Retreat! Into the portal!”

  I didn’t have to say it again. I turned, and I ran headfirst into the massive gateway, the roar of the hobgoblin cavalry behind me.

  Achievement Unlocked! Travel via a fast travel node!

  Entering Quibou.

  A flash, and day turned into night. I stumbled through as if I was simply moving into another room. It wasn’t nearly as jarring as the Portal spell. I jumped to the side so I wouldn’t be trampled by the incoming hobgoblins.

  I instinctively glanced at the time. It was just past 8:30 P.M. here.

  Warning! You have entered an area of active warfare.

 
You have been drafted in the Castellane Defense Force! Your rank is Private First Class.

  The original quest notification scrolled by as thousands of hobgoblins, spiders, beetles, and fairies poured out of the portal and into the empty pavilion.

  To my right, the blown-to-hell white jacket garrison stood abandoned. To my left, the tall form of the Luxuriant hotel stood. A flashing blue light caught my eye. I knew what that meant. It was a corpse that hadn’t been looted by a player in time, so it was now fair game. Curious, I walked over to find the two polecats dead on the street.

  “Oh, Raj,” I said, taking a knee. I’d seen the notification but I hadn’t processed it yet. I stroked the little guy’s fur. “You saved me, you know that? I’ll see you soon.” I gently picked him up and placed him to the side.

  The other polecat was an elderly woman, eyes wide in death. Sandra the Learnt. She had what appeared to be one of Raj’s seashells poking out of her mouth. I grasped her pouch and scrolled through her lootable items. She had a couple hundred jacks, some clothes, and an unidentified item labeled as an enchanted “Cartographer’s Tool.” I selected it, and the dividing compass appeared in my hand. The antique tool was used in the real world to measure distances with precision on maps. I slipped it into my pack.

  Behind me, the ragtag remains of the hobgoblin cavalry stood. The majority of the hobgoblins remained in Harmony, guarding the castle and led by Major Slog. This group had been a good 20,000 rider and mount pairs, but they’d been whittled down to less than half that. And these soldiers were battered and exhausted. The wood fairies glowed as they zipped from hobgoblin to hobgoblin, healing them of their wounds.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: Hey guys. We’re entering the spiral now. I couldn’t bring all of them, but I got the best of the best. We’re gonna take out these rebel assholes and then we’ll get to work on the boss. You just make sure the guys marching at the front get taken out.

  Poppy: God fucking damnit you piece of dogshit, Jonah! Well, I warned you, buddy... I hope you brought your waterwings because I’m about to dishonorably discharge your ass out to gods-know-where.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: Hey. Tinkerbell. Stop. I’m your only chance here. So let me do my thing, you do yours, and we can talk about your chickenshit fetish for teleporting me away later. Okay?

  Gretchen: If those rebel hobgoblins are still crowded at the gate, you’re not getting in easy. It’s too small of an entrance.

  Poppy: Oh for fuck’s sake. Once again, ol’ Popper has to do the dirty work. Jonah, lead your guys straight through the arch.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: Where will you be?

  Poppy: Alice, Battlefield Surgeon, and I will meet you there.

  You have been promoted to War General and given full access to the War Party menu.

  I found myself on the back of a beetle. The large, segmented creature smelled like dirt and twitched underneath me. There were no reins. I had no idea how to control the thing. It didn’t matter. I was in the midst of my warriors, and I screamed and frothed at the mouth with them. My heart soared, and I felt my blood begin to boil. We charged. I’d been worried that my new hobgoblin warriors would be hesitant to attack their own kind. If anything, they were reinvigorated at the sight of the hobgoblin insurgents.

  The insurgents, aware of our approach at their rear formed up, lowering poleaxes in our direction. Strange, brown bolts of magic started to zip at us from the gate. I pulled up a magic protection shell, my second of three for the day. The wind whipped through my hair. Fairies flew on either side, screaming with their tiny voices. Above, a red streak ripped through the air. Millicent zipped ahead of us all.

  Moments before we crashed into the defenders, the first line of hobgoblin rebels exploded in a spray of red. They’d been hit by an arrow from the Sentinel Tower, softening them up. We cleaved into them, crashing against the defenders like a wave onto the beach. They immediately buckled and cracked, and we continued through, trampling them underfoot.

  I saw Popper and Alice. They’d galloped forth from Fort Bloodgasm, cutting through the back, coming to meet us in the center. They’d cut a hole in the hobgoblins, further distracting them. Popper screamed as he swung his axe, cutting down hobgoblin after hobgoblin.

  As we cut our way through, I saw Popper and Alice were in trouble. Alice needed momentum to be at her most effective, and she’d been bogged down. The hobgoblins started to rally, surrounding them.

  Popper stood on Alice’s back, screaming obscenities.

  “Come on,” I cried, pushing my beetle forward. I was surrounded by mounted hobgoblins. Popper was a mere 100 meters away, but it might as well been a mile.

  I watched as Millicent zipped toward Popper, her red light descending upon him like a rocket.

  She flew right into his open mouth just as he burst into flames, leaping off Alice’s back.

  He hit the ground with the force of a meteor landing from the heavens. When he stood, he was no longer Popper.

  System Message> The Light God Lord Montu has made a battlefield appearance in Castellane, Libri.

  Popper stood to his full height, rising on all four of his legs. Hobgoblins scattered, screeching with fear. We all came to a stop. My beetle hissed in surprise. Behind, Alice started backing away, ignored by the flabbergasted hobgoblins.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: Um, Gretchen. Something just happened to Popper. Did you see that system message?

  Gretchen: I don’t suppose he turned into a giant bull centaur thing with a hawk head?

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: So you know what’s happening?

  Gretchen: Okay. Don’t ask questions. It’ll last about two minutes. But you need to run. Alice, if you’re there, run. Popper will be okay.

  Millicent had flown into Popper’s mouth and transformed him into a 20-foot, glowing, on-fire bull with the head of a hawk. Popper’s dot on the minimap had turned into a purple star. He wielded twin scimitars, each as long as a half-ogre.

  “Calvary, into the city. Off the path!” I cried, pulling to the left toward an alleyway off the spiral path. “Alice, on me!”

  We turned, and we ran as Montu the bull god destroyed the last remnants of the hobgoblin insurgents. He roared and smashed, stamping them into the ground.

  Gretchen: Damn. I wish he’d done that to Akkorokamui.

  His Royal Majesty Jonah: Is he going to be able to do that whenever he wants?

  Gretchen: No, it’s super rare. Nobody knows how to trigger a Celestial Boon. People seem to think it is random.

  That wasn’t random. It had been caused by Millicent. Alice trotted up next to me. She bled from a dozen points on her bulk, but the wounds closed up as she was swarmed with wood fairies. “What in the blue hell was that about? Is that what he looks like in your real world?”

  “Uh,” I began. “I hope not.”

  A bestial roar filled the spiral.

  System Message> Grand Shaman Zeed has fallen in battle due to divine intervention. The Hobgoblin Insurgents have ceased to exist.

  I stood there for several minutes, waiting one street over. The spiral had become eerily quiet.

  Popper: Guys, where am I? Why am I naked again? And why the hell did I just puke up a fairy?

  I laughed for the first time in a long, long time.

  Gretchen Note 8

  I stood with several hundred other white jackets, waiting to face off with the oni. Half of the kappa were dead. We’d focused on rapid-fire versions of most of these towers, and it had paid off, killing them one after another. The bowl-headed monsters fell back, allowing the oni tanks to take the lead.

  Archie’s fluidized bed sand trap had worked, but not as well, against the tall oni. Some had managed to climb out before the lightning towers turned the ground to glass. Still, almost a thousand had been killed by the single trap. We still had a few more tricks in store for the creeps. I hoped it would be enough.

  At the rear of the procession was the beast. Akkorokamui had turned into a massive, thirty-foot, shu
ffling octopus thing that lurched through the spiral on its tentacles, a beast out of a nightmare. Her translucent, purple skin pulsated in the starlight. Just under the skin one could see the faint outlines of humanoid forms, hundreds of them writhing within, as if her body had trapped all the souls of hell.

  Every time a tower hit her with any sort of magic, Akkorokamui shot back, destroying the tower. We’d had to order all the towers except the Muzzle towers and the Sentinel Tower to not shoot at her unless she was the only thing in range.

  She was covered with dozens of black patches of skin where the Desiccate arrows buried themselves in her hide. They were having an obvious slowing effect on her. The arrows remained where they hit, covering her, giving her the appearance of a bizarre hedgehog limping its way through the spiral. Luckily she was much further back. It was probably a bad idea to face her head on with ground troops.

  I missed having Bruce Bruce at my side. I hadn’t asked Jonah how the bear was doing. With Harmony overrun, I hoped he was keeping himself safe.

  Ahead, the red monsters crossed the river. The oni didn’t need to cross the center of the bridge one by one. They were large enough where they could ford the river by jumping off the bank and wading through. While the normal arrow towers were ineffective against the red devils, every third or fourth monster was getting hit between the eyes by a level three arrow tower, which had been upgraded to a sniper tower. This was Granger’s tower. Each shot was enough to take one down. Soon their bodies clogged the river, causing a bridge of corpses to form, allowing them to surge across toward the barracks.

  We rushed forward to meet them, screaming. I stabbed with my spear, feeling the rush of adrenaline from moving so quickly. My Zeal spell increased my damage and allowed me to move like the wind. Step, jab, swivel, jab, jab, step. One after another, I took them down. I was alive. I walked on air. I just was.

  I let my mind go blank. This was me at my happiest, I think. Not with friends. Not when I’d gotten to spend time with little Peyton. Most of my life I’d spent worrying about something. I’d never allowed myself to just be happy, in the moment.