Blackbird Flies

by Chynna T. Laird

  Suited him just fine.

  He started his day with music history, then theory, followed by musical composition before breaking for lunch. Students only got half an hour for lunch, but they were let out earlier at the end of the day. With such a short time between morning and afternoon classes, he planned to eat his lunch on the way to the piano room to get an early start to his practicing.

  He shoved the last bite of his bologna and cheese sandwich into his mouth, then walked into the piano room. No one was there.

  Perfect.

  He ran his fingers along the smooth, glossy body of the baby grand. The school had the best of the best. The only stand-up piano at the college was the one the instructor played, isolated in the front corner of the room beside the chalkboard.

  He sat on the leather-bound bench and lifted up the lid covering the keys. He gingerly pulled his wrinkled and ripped Mozart score from his canvas bag, opening it to his favorite piece. Fantasie, K 475. He positioned his hands over the ivory keys.

  He closed his eyes, hearing the piece in his head, the way Mom used to play it. It was the song she’d played for a piano festival competition when he was younger. He’d sat in the audience watching her in awe. It had always amazed him that a woman so torn up inside was able to calm her mind and completely absorb herself in her music.

  She was…miraculous.

  She’d won first in Canada that year. And he was proud to be her son. Why did things have to get so bad? Why couldn’t that have been enough for her? Why couldn’t he have been enough?

  He’d barely begun when his attention was snapped back to the present by light pressure on his right forearm and thigh. Startled that he wasn’t alone anymore he jumped, almost falling off the bench. Lily, who’d sat beside him at some point, also jumped, gasping.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I called you but you didn’t answer. You were so into your playing.”

  Payton straightened his glasses. “What…what are you stalking me or something?” he asked, shoving his hands into his back pockets.

  Lily squinted at him, and sputtered. “You wish,” she said. “Um...no! I was walking by to the Dean’s office and heard you playing. I just said you didn’t hear me. I mean, I wasn’t the only person to check you out. Look!”

  Payton’s gaze shifted to the back of the room where a few students and the Dean had gathered.

  “You seem to have a small fan base here already,” she said. “Did you want to report them or something?”

  He rolled his eyes and playfully shoved her shoulder. She gave him a half-smile.

  “You really gotta learn to let people in. I know I’m not always the person to teach people that, but geez. You are gifted. Your mom gave you at least something to turn to. Let others in.”

  He looked at her over his glasses. “Fortune cookie.”

  “Shut up. Well, take a look around. I’m not the only person who sees it.”

  He wasn’t comfortable with the attention, but got her point. He was confident with his musical ability, just didn’t really pay attention to it. For him, it’d always been a comfort…his therapy.

  The bell rang, as the two stared at each other. The other students took their seats in the classroom while the Dean, who taught the piano class, approached the duo.

  “Son, I am simply blown away by your playing,” he said, leaning on the piano. “Listen, you’re aware of the summer performance we put on each year. I’m wondering whether you’d be interested in being in charge of putting it on.”

  Payton’s mouth gaped open. The show, which was put on yearly for parents, friends, media, and talent scouts from potential universities, would be a huge feather in his cap, for sure. A lot of work, but maybe just the right distraction he needed.

  “Plus, it looks like you’ve already met our star singer here,” the Dean continued, winking at Lily. “Maybe, you’d be interested in helping Payton with the music, choir, and solo acts?”

  Lily’s eyes widened. “Oh, I don’t know. I mean, thanks for considering me and all, but I think he can handle this. He’s pretty awesome.”

  The Dean folded his arms across his chest, and leaned toward her. “Yes, and so are you. And I think you two can handle it. Let me know tomorrow.”

  The Dean walked behind his desk, which seemed to be the cue for class to start.

  Payton looked at Lily who was hugging herself with one hand and twisting her gorgeous ebony hair with the other.

  Star singer?

  Before he had a chance to ask her about her ‘star’ status, Lily shot Payton a quick side-glance, then rushed from the room. He frowned, a sudden impulse urged him to follow her.

  “Payton?” the Dean said. “Take a seat so we can get started.”

  After class, he tried looking for her, but his dad was already waiting for him.

  I’ll just corner her tomorrow, he thought.

  She was becoming more interesting all the time.

  * * *

  After dinner, and a full report of his day to Liam, Payton got ready for bed. He caught Katie in the kitchen on his way to the basement stairs. She was scrubbing the oven.

  “Hey,” he said, leaning against the counter. “Aren’t you guys doing well enough to afford a self-cleaning oven?”

  Katie jumped, hitting her head on the top of the oven. “You’d think, huh?” she said, rubbing the back of her head. “Maybe for Christmas.” She smiled.

  He cleared his throat and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Look…about earlier…”

  She waved a gloved-hand at him. “I’m sorry. I have a big mouth with loads of emotion behind it. Sometimes things come flying out before it registers upstairs first.”

  “Yeah, me too. But it’s not a bad thing sometimes,” he said. “Just, well, I was a jerk, and I’m sorry. I just wanted you to know I do appreciate what you guys are doing, okay?”

  Katie smiled. “Okay. Thanks.”

  “And, well, I appreciate you sharing with me. It’s good to know someone else… ‘gets’ it, you know?’

  “Yeah. I do.”

  He pushed himself off the counter, and headed for the stairs. “Okay, well, see ya in the morning.”

  “Night, Pay. Sleep well. And…congratulations on your offer.”

  He nodded, then went down the stairs. When he got to the bottom, he saw light streaming out from under the closed computer room door. The ‘Oldies but Goodies’ station was on, apparently, in an attempt to mute the sound of fingers tapping on a keyboard. Payton shook his head and rolled his eyes.

  Man. Yelling and chaos was better to handle than all of the closed-door silence and pretending.

  Oh well.

  Not his prob. He had a show to put together. Yeah. He’d do it. But Lily was going to help him.

  Whether she wanted to or not.

  Nine

  The next morning, Payton hung small posters on all the announcement bulletin boards around the school. He’d stayed up late for computer access, which he’d gotten about midnight. He had no idea what his father did on the computer for so long every night, and it was probably better he didn’t know.

  Since the population in the school was kept to a minimum, maybe a few hundred students, everyone was expected to participate in some way. There were no try-outs, only encouragement to show off a talent or to bring people in. After all, it was the big fundraising event to get new instruments, office equipment, and other necessities to keep the school up and running.

  Payton was in the middle of stapling a poster up beside the auditorium when a gorgeous alto voice stopped him mid-staple.

  Whoever it was sang ‘The Rose’ by Bette Midler. Memories flooded his brain, sending shivers from his core out to the tips of his fingers. He had to find out who it was. Maybe they’d be interested in doing a solo in the concert.

  He walked down the hall and peered into the auditorium. He almost dropped his supplies. That gorgeous alto voice, his solo hopeful, was Lily.

  She switched to singing an aria in
perfect Italian. He didn’t recognize the aria but her singing voice…how she carried herself on stage…even her mannerisms were a haunting reminder of another woman close to his heart. In that moment, he felt music served a different purpose. It wasn’t painful or needed to forget or remember. It felt…good. His heart filled with such longing, a joy he hadn’t felt ever. He instinctively gripped his chest preventing it from bursting out.

  Lily saw him, and stopped. Suddenly, the girl he came to know as confident, secure, and not afraid to speak her mind seemed scared. She signaled to the pianist to stop playing. The two teens locked eyes. She twisted her hair, bit her lip, then stormed off the stage.

  This time, he wasn’t going to let her just walk away.

  Not again.

  “Lily!” he shouted to her while she sped walked down the hall. “Hey! Stop!”

  He followed her until she went out the smoking doors where he found her lighting up on the stairs. She sat down, folding her arms on her knees. She took a long drag off her cigarette.

  Payton sat beside her. “So, um, smoking is bad for your singing pipes, you know.”

  She didn’t answer. She blew out a long strand of smoke.

  “Were you ever going to tell me that you sing so great? Or that you even went here?”

  No answer.

  Another drag.

  More smoke.

  Payton rolled his eyes, and got up. “Forget this.”

  “I wish I could help you with this concert stuff, but I can’t,” she finally said.

  “Uh, yeah I think you can.” Payton said.

  Lily leaned forward, resting her head into her hands. Her hair fell around her like a poncho.

  “You don’t understand.”

  “So, make me understand.”

  She sat up, throwing her cigarette butt onto the step, then mashed it with the heel of her boot.

  “My mom died about two years ago. Brain aneurism. She didn’t even know it was coming. She was there when I left in the morning, happy. She made me breakfast. I always gave her crap for that. She treated me like a kid,” she said, sniffing.

  She wiped her nose on her sleeve, then continued. “My dad called my school. I went to a public school then. He came back to get me. I went to the hospital with him. By the time we got there, my mom was dead. Just like that.” Lily stared out over the grass, hugging her knees into her chest. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” she whispered.

  Payton sat back down on the step. “Hey…geez…I’m so sorry…”

  She shook her head. “A few months after that, I got into some bad crap. I did drugs, partied and stuff. I got really messed up. Dad actually put me in rehab. That’s when they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder.”

  Payton’s stomach soured. Suddenly this gorgeous girl, his fantasy for the past few weeks, became way too close….

  “I’m fine if I stay on my meds. And I’m clean now too. Dad said if I stayed clean, and kept taking my meds, he’d help me get into this school.”

  Payton folded his arms on his bent knees, resting his head on them, facing her. “Okay. So you have bipolar. So what? So did my mom. But you’re doing all the right things now, right? At least you got help, went on meds, and you’re still a kick butt singer.”

  She turned to face him, her hair blanketing her ivory face. “Yeah. I guess. But it’s hard, you know? I’ve already fallen off the wagon twice. Dad sent me here because he thought it’d be a safer place. He just doesn’t get how easy it is to find stuff if I wanted it. I mean, they seem to always find me. It’s always there, you know?”

  Payton remembered the fancy-dressed girls he’d seen her with the first time he saw her. “Yeah, I do know. Look. My mom never got help. Not even for me. She died because she used all that crap you did and more. She chose to kill herself and ignore the beauty she had. You’re choosing to turn to that beauty. That’s pretty cool.”

  Lily lifted her head. She gave him a half-smile. “Wow. That was so cheesy. You sound like you work for a card company or something.”

  Payton bumped her shoulder with his own. “Shut up. Maybe I do, but it’s true. I mean, I never got into the stuff my mom did, right? And I’ve always had the same stuff around me too. You just gotta turn to the right stuff.”

  Lily shrugged. “’Guess so...”

  “Besides,” Payton said, cleaning his glasses on his shirt. “You haven’t given me one good reason for not helping me with this concert.”

  Lily rubbed her hands on her thighs. “Whenever I tap into that ‘good stuff’ I end up going off my meds. They mess up my singing. Then everything goes down the toilet.”

  “Tell you what,” he said, holding out his hand. “You do this with me and I’ll help you get through the tough stuff. My shoulders may be really high up, but they’re strong. If I see ya getting off track, I’ll kick your butt back on it. Deal?”

  Lily stared at his hand. She chewed the inside of her cheek, then closed her eyes, smiling. She looked up at him, shoving her hand into his, and said, “Okay, deal. I’ll try. But I’m scared.”

  “I know. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

  Her smiled faded. She pulled her hand out of his, and stuffed it up her sleeve. “You can’t promise that.”

  “No, I can’t but I can promise to be here for you. You just have to remember that.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “What?”

  “You know, be there. You barely know me.”

  He side-glanced her then said, “Let’s just say I’ve been there and leave it at that.”

  They sat there in silence until his dad’s truck drove around the side street. Payton gently gripped Lily’s tiny shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and she squeezed back. Then he pulled his hood up, and shuffled across the grass.

  I can promise, he thought. I won’t lose another person that way.

  No way.

  * * *

  The MacGregor family each took turns making supper. On Payton’s turn, he chose the Mexican route with chicken burritos, rice, and spicy veggies. Music selection for the night’s meal was The Spice Girls, at Dahlia’s suggestion. He cringed at the suggestion, but River seemed to be a huge Scary Spice fan so Spice Girls it was.

  After dinner, Katie and Liam helped Payton clean up.

  “It’s been brought to my attention that someone has a birthday coming up next week,” Katie said.

  Payton hated his birthday and, frankly, he’d totally forgotten about it. “Please don’t do anything. Seriously, it doesn’t matter.”

  Katie waved her tea towel at him. “Don’t be silly. We go all out for birthdays around here. No discussion. Now, let’s talk party theme and presents.”

  Payton looked at Liam who was trying to repress a smile. “Don’t look at me,” his father said. “I got an Oscar the Grouch party last year. I’d put in a bid if I were you.”

  Payton laughed. The thought of his dad with a garbage can lid on his head was hysterical.

  “I’ll think about it,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes.

  “Maybe you can ask that girl you’ve been talking about if she’d like to join us,” Katie said, ignoring the subtle teasing.

  Payton was going to refuse right away. But then thought it might be a good thing. Besides, if he was going to be put through his nauseating day, he was going to make Lily share it with him. Friends must share family torture with friends.

  He just hoped Katie behaved herself.

  Ten

  “Let’s go for a picnic tomorrow,” Payton suggested to Lily over the phone before he retired to bed.

  “Say, what?”

  “You heard me. Would you like me to explain what a picnic is? It’s where you take a meal and eat it outside, preferably when it isn’t raining or when wild animals are running around.”

  “I know what a picnic is, doofus. I just meant…well…why?”

  “Well, Miss Lily, I think we should get to know each other a bit better before I invite you to the birthday bash my step
mom is trying to organize.”

  Lily went silent.

  “Hello? Is this thing still on?” Payton teased.

  “Invite me? Oh, geez, I dunno…”

  “If I must be tortured, so shall you.”

  “Very generous of you.”

  “That’s the kind of dude I am. So? Picnic?”

  Laughter echoed in his ear. “Fine. Picnic. But I hate egg salad. You know, just for the record.”

  “Record noted. Meat sandwiches it shall be.”

  “You really are a doofus, you know.”

  “I deny nothing.”

  They said goodnight, and he nodded off planning his perfect lunch date.

  Date.

  * * *

  The next day, Payton whistled while making roast beef and cheese sandwiches. He must have been in his ‘zone’ because he didn’t even hear Katie come into the kitchen during his picnic prep.

  “Goodness, that’s a lot of food. Even for you.”

  He stopped mid mayo-spreading, and turned to her. “It’s not just for me. I’m making a picnic lunch for a friend.”

  She smiled. “Your Lily friend?”

  He tried not to roll his eyes, then went back to slathering a piece of bread with condiments. “Yeah. My Lily friend.”

  “Hm. Sounds like she’s becoming more than just a Lily…friend?”

  “I dunno, we’ll see. We may be better as friends.”

  “You seem to really like her.”

  He squashed the bread on top of the last sandwich, then said, “She’s great. But we’re just friends. That’s all. Don’t try making more of it than it is.”

  Katie sighed. “Fine. Okay. Well, I have a funky picnic basket if you wanted to borrow it. It’s in the cabinet in the living room. Just a suggestion. Girls don’t always like being handed a sandwich in a plastic sandwich bag. And if you wanted to use my car, the keys are on the counter.”