Red Velvet Cupcake Murder

by Joanne Fluke

  Lisa was arranging cupcakes on the three-tiered revolving display that her husband, Herb, had built for them. When she spotted Hannah, she left her work and rushed over. “I’m glad you’re here, Hannah. There’s something I’ve got to tell you!”

  “It’s okay, Lisa. I know. Andrea told me.”

  “Thank goodness! I was worried sick you’d run into her before anyone told you. Does Norman know?”

  “He should by now. Mother talked to Carrie and Carrie was going to call him.”

  “This is bad, Hannah. What are you going to do?”

  “Not a thing until I find out why she’s back.”

  Lisa considered that for a moment. “Okay. I guess that makes sense. But I just know she’s going to try to get even with you for exposing the truth about her. There’s no other reason for her to come back here. You’ve got to be careful, Hannah.”

  “I will be.”

  “Just don’t make the mistake of underestimating her. She might be all sweetness and light tonight, but you can’t judge a book by its cover and you know she’s bad to the bone. She’s dangerous, too. You have to remember that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

  Hannah gave her first genuine laugh of the evening.

  “What’s so funny?” Lisa asked.

  “You just used three clichés in a row.”

  Lisa thought about that for a minute. “It’s four, unless you didn’t count the Shakespeare quote.”

  “It’s not a Shakespeare quote.”

  “It’s not?”

  “No. It’s a misattribution.”

  “A what?”

  “A misquote of something William Congreve wrote in the late seventeenth century. And I did count it.”

  “Okay, here’s another cliché and I don’t know who said it first. Leopards don’t change their spots overnight.”

  “I don’t know who said it either, but this leopard did change her spots. Doctor Bev’s got a whole new look. Now she’s a blonde. Sally thought she might have had a facelift, too.”

  “That’s drastic.”

  “That’s desperate. I guess she thought she’d better repackage since she was getting so close to the sell-by date.”

  Lisa’s mouth dropped open and then she started to laugh. She laughed long and hard, and then she said, “You’ve really got a way with words, Hannah. But I’m curious. When did you see Doctor Bev?”

  “I didn’t. Andrea told me.”

  “Then Andrea’s seen her?”

  “No. Sally’s the only one who’s actually seen her. Doctor Bev’s staying out at the Inn with Roger.”

  “And Sally called to tell you?”

  “Not exactly. Sally called Mother, and Mother called Andrea, and Andrea told me.”

  Lisa laughed. “It’s good to see that the Lake Eden Gossip Hotline is working. But Doctor Bev didn’t actually change her spots, Hannah. All she changed was her appearance. She’s still the same scheming, conniving, selfish person inside.”

  “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig?”

  “Exactly. It’s like you always say, Hannah. The reason they’re clichés is that they’re true most of the time. And here’s another couple for you. Forewarned is forearmed, the best defense is a good offense, and you shouldn’t trust her any further than you can throw her.”

  “I’m ready, Hannah.” Andrea stood in the doorway of the Red Velvet Lounge. “I’ll show you the condos now, before everybody gets here.”

  Hannah turned to look at Lisa. “Do you need help arranging the cupcakes?”

  Lisa shook her head. “I’m almost through. Don’t worry about me, Hannah. Herb’s coming back with a couple of chairs and we’re going to restock the display when it gets low.”

  “But I should help you.”

  “No, you shouldn’t. Herb has to be here anyway. He’s running security here in the lounge.”

  “Security for what? It’s Lake Eden. Nobody’s going to steal anything here.”

  “I know that and you know that, but Roger Dalworth doesn’t. He’s from Minneapolis and it’s different there. Roger hired Herb to cover the whole hotel.”

  “But how can Herb do that if he’s sitting here next to you?”

  “He’ll be wearing earbuds and he’ll be in constant communication with the other members of his security staff. Besides, you said it before. It’s Lake Eden. The only thing that might happen is that somebody has one too many glasses of champagne. If that happens, one of Herb’s guys will handle the driving and take that person home.”

  A phrase Lisa had used caught Hannah’s attention and she repeated it. “One of Herb’s guys? How many guys does he have?”

  “Six not counting him. They work in pairs. Roger wanted two on the ground floor, two on the second floor, and two outside. The only thing that’s not covered is the penthouse and that’s because it’s not furnished yet.”

  “Hi, Hannah.”

  Hannah turned to see Lisa’s husband, Herb Beeseman, walking toward them. He was wearing a nice-looking red blazer with the word SECURITY embroidered on the pocket. Below it was some sort of insignia and as Herb came closer, Hannah realized that it was an embroidered cupcake.

  “Meet the head of Cupcake Security,” Lisa said, smiling at Herb.

  Hannah glanced at the cupcake display and then back at Herb’s pocket. The embroidery on the pocket was a perfect rendition of the Red Velvet Surprise Cupcakes they’d baked.

  “Cupcake Security?” she asked.

  “Why not?” Herb gave a little laugh. “It was Lisa’s idea. Our motto is, You gotta be tough with a name like Cupcake.”

  “That’s really funny.” Hannah laughed. “I’m surprised you didn’t use Cream Puff.”

  “I might have, but it was already taken. Besides, the cupcakes you baked were really pretty and the graphic was more colorful. The guys just love their new blazers.”

  “Who did you hire?” Hannah asked.

  “Four seniors from Jordan High, and two freshmen from the community college. We’re also going to run security at football games in the fall. Mayor Bascomb said he might even use us for things like the Winter Carnival and Moonlight Madness later this summer.”

  “Well . . . good luck with it. I’m sure the boys are glad to get some part-time jobs.” Hannah glanced at her sister, who was staring at the display of cupcakes longingly. “What’s wrong, Andrea?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just that your cupcakes look luscious and my stomach’s growling. I was so busy distributing fliers for tonight that I didn’t have time for lunch.”

  Lisa plucked a cupcake from the box she’d been using to fill the display and handed it to Andrea. “Taste this and tell us if it’s as good as it looks.”

  “I love red velvet cupcakes!”

  “These are Red Velvet Surprise Cupcakes,” Lisa told her. “Hannah and I put a surprise in the center of every one.”

  “What kind of surprise?”

  Hannah smiled. “If we tell you, it won’t be a surprise. Take a big bite. You’ll like it, I promise.”

  Andrea didn’t wait for a second invitation. She peeled off the cupcake paper and took a giant bite. “Mmmmm,” she said and took another big bite. “Mmmmmm!”

  “So what do you think?” Lisa asked her.

  Andrea held up her hand for a timeout and popped the rest of the cupcake in her mouth. She chewed, swallowed, and smiled. “It’s great! I just love the chocolate and . . . apricot?”

  “That’s right. They were Hannah’s idea. Everybody makes red velvet cupcakes and when we got the order for the party, we wanted to make ours different.”

  “And better,” Andrea added. “I’ve eaten a lot of red velvet cupcakes and these are the absolute best!”

  Hannah glanced down at the price sheet in her hand. The two-bedroom condo she’d just seen was double the money she’d paid for her condo. “Do you really think you can sell these? My complex is a lot cheaper.”

  “Your complex isn’t convenient to down
town Lake Eden. If you lived here, you wouldn’t have to drive to work every morning and drive home every night. And your condo doesn’t have a view like this.” Andrea walked to the windows and pointed. “Every room on this side has a view of the Lutheran church, Granny’s Attic, and the Red Owl.”

  “This is a nice balcony,” Hannah said, walking to the sliding glass doors.

  “If you lived here, you could see The Cookie Jar from your balcony. I could probably cut you a deal, Hannah. And I know I could sell your place for more than you paid for it. You’d be trading up.”

  “No thanks,” Hannah said quickly. “I like where I live.”

  “Well . . . just think about it. Your cookie truck is getting old and if you bought this unit, you could walk to work.”

  “I’ll think about it,” Hannah said, knowing that she wouldn’t, but also knowing that her sister wouldn’t stop her sales pitch until every single one of the condos were sold. “Why don’t you show me the penthouse?” she suggested, by way of diversion. “I know I could never afford it, but I’d love to see it.”

  The penthouse had a private elevator that Roger Dalworth had installed. Hannah and Andrea rode down to the lobby and used Andrea’s key to activate the private elevator.

  “The penthouse takes up the entire top floor,” Andrea informed her as they stepped out of the elevator and directly into the penthouse foyer. “The view is spectacular and it has a huge tropical garden with its own Jacuzzi and grotto swimming pool.”

  “A Jacuzzi and a swimming pool? That’s not very practical for Minnesota.” It was all Hannah could do not to gasp as she walked into the penthouse living room. There were wall-to-ceiling windows on three sides and Andrea was right, the view was spectacular. “This is gorgeous, but I’m still thinking about the hot tub and the swimming pool. They’ll have to be drained and covered all winter and that means the owner can’t use them for six or seven months out of the year.”

  Andrea shook her head. “There’s a climate-controlled dome that fits over the whole rooftop. It was supposed to be here and installed by tonight, but there was a delay and it hasn’t arrived yet. That means we can go out in the middle and look, but that’s it. Roger’s got the rest blocked off with sawhorses because it’s not safe.”

  When they stepped out into the penthouse garden, the June air was balmy and sweet. There was a slight breeze, but not enough to be uncomfortable. They were above the noise of the party, the passing cars on the street, and even more important, the mosquitoes. It was heavenly and Hannah took a deep breath of the perfumed night air.

  “Just look at this pool,” Andrea said, leading her over to the grotto pool and Jacuzzi area. There was even a thatched roof bar with padded bar stools. Low-level Malibu lights gave the whole area a romantic glow, and the ambiance was intimate and inviting. “Beautiful!” Hannah breathed, feeling a small stab of envy for the lucky people who would live here.

  “I shouldn’t do this, but I will,” Andrea said. “Help me move this sawhorse.”

  Between the two of them they muscled Roger’s barrier to the side, and Andrea led Hannah toward the edge of the roof. “That’s far enough,” she said, stopping about four feet from the edge. “I want you to see the lake from here.”

  Hannah peered off into the distance where the lake was shining silver in the moonlight and the surrounding pines were dark sentinels stretching up toward the sky. “Beautiful!” she breathed again.

  It didn’t take long to go through the rest of the penthouse: multiple bedrooms, each with its own bathroom, a home gym, and a huge gourmet kitchen. There were closets galore, views from windows in abundance, and the total impression was the essence of opulence.

  “We’d better go,” Andrea said, glancing at her watch. “The guests should be starting to arrive by now and I’ve got six condos and a penthouse to sell.”

  Hannah was silent until they were in the elevator on their way down to the lobby. “Do you think anybody in Lake Eden can afford to buy a condo here?” she asked; the question had been bouncing around in her mind since Andrea had opened the first condo door.

  “Of course. People almost always buy up.”

  “Buy up?”

  “It’s like cars and trading up. They almost always buy something more expensive than what they’re selling. The only exception I’ve had is when I handle a property where the kids leave the nest and they’re downsizing. And even then a few people want more luxury than they had. There are people in this town with money, Hannah. And remember, all you really need is the down payment, a good credit rating, and a good job. I’d say nine out of ten people that come here tonight can afford to finance one of these condos. Roger invited two hundred and fifty people and that means over two hundred could afford to buy if I can manage to impress them.”

  “How about the penthouse? Could nine out of ten afford that?”

  “No, definitely not. The penthouse is pricey. But Del Woodley’s coming. He could afford the penthouse. And so could Mayor Bascomb if Stephanie would kick in some of her money. As a matter of fact, Mother could probably afford it.”

  Hannah frowned slightly. She was the only one who knew the state of her mother’s finances. Andrea was right. Their father had been very astute when it came to buying stock and at this stage, Delores could afford it and then some. She thought about saying that, but neither Andrea nor Michelle knew exactly how much money Delores had and Hannah had promised never to divulge the details. “Maybe Mother could afford it, but I’m not sure she’d want to give up her house.”

  “You’re right. That’s the house that Dad bought for her and it must have a lot of happy memories for her. She’s used to living there and she likes the neighbors. I think the only way that Mother would move is if she got married again. And I really don’t think that’s going to happen.”

  The penthouse elevator doors opened, and Andrea and Hannah stepped out. “Hold on a second,” Andrea said, turning her elevator key in the lock so that it would remain accessible. “We want people to go up to the penthouse, even if they can’t afford to buy it. If they’re impressed, they talk about it and they might mention it to somebody who can afford to buy it.”

  “Good thinking,” Hannah said. “Are you going to work now?”

  “Yes, but Roger wants me in the lounge for a while. He told me to wait until people had some of the free champagne and free food before I started selling.”

  “Because then everyone will be in a good mood?”

  “That’s the theory, and he’s right. That’s why I always set out cheese and crackers, or some of your cookies when I host an open house. If I get really busy showing the condos, will you do a favor for me?”

  “What?” Hannah asked, not about to get trapped by agreeing to something blindly.

  “Snag me about six of your Red Velvet Surprise Cupcakes, will you, Hannah? I’d really appreciate it. I’m going to need a couple more to keep up my energy and I want to take some home to the girls and Grandma McCann. That surprise in the middle is a stroke of pure genius!”

  RED VELVET SURPRISE CUPCAKES

  If you’re going to make these cupcakes right away, preheat oven to 350 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

  Hannah’s Note: To make these cupcakes, you must first make Chocolate Apricot Surprises. Don’t worry. They’ll only take you 15 minutes at the most. If you’d prefer to make them at night and not bake the cupcakes until morning, preheat the oven at that time.

  CHOCOLATE APRICOT SURPRISES

  6 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips (that’s one cup

  of chips)

  2 Tablespoons apricot jam

  2 Tablespoons salted butter

  If the apricot jam has big pieces of apricots, cut them into smaller pieces before you measure out the jam. You can also simply pick them out and only use the clear part of the jam.

  Place the 3 ingredients in a microwave-safe bowl. (I used a 2-cup measuring cup.)

  Microwave on HIGH for 1 minute. Take the chocolate mixture out of
the microwave and stir the contents smooth.

  Tear off a piece of waxed paper and place it on a piece of cardboard or a cookie sheet right next to the chocolate mixture.

  Use a quarter-teaspoon measuring spoon to scoop out the chocolate mixture. Scrape it out of the spoon with your impeccably clean finger and drop it onto the waxed paper in little mounds. If it spreads out too much and won’t mound, let it cool for a minute or two longer.

  Once you start making the chocolate mounds, keep in mind that you will need 24 Chocolate Apricot Surprises for your cupcakes. If you end up with less, pinch a little off the larger mounds and transfer it to the smaller mounds. If you end up with too much chocolate left, either make the existing mounds bigger, or make several mounds on a different piece of wax paper and hide them in a small container in the back of your refrigerator for the times you have a chocolate deficiency.

  Refrigerate the Chocolate Apricot Surprises until you’re ready to use them in your cupcakes. (You can make them the night before you make your cupcakes, but only if you live alone. If you have a family, someone is bound to get up in the middle of the night to eat them.)

  RED VELVET CUPCAKES

  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

  1 and ½ cups white (granulated) sugar

  ½ cup salted butter (1 stick, 4 ounces, ¼ pound)

  softened to room temperature

  ½ cup vegetable oil

  1 teaspoon salt