Through the Never

by J. A. Culican

  What if Solipher, the King of Izenfir, were to find her? Julian shook her head. She knew very well what awaited her if Solipher or the other dragon lords ever discovered her. She’d be subjected to a life as property: an imprisoned cow forced to give birth to child after child in hopes another female dragon would appear. Without the females, their species would die, and as far as Izenfir was concerned, her mother was the last.

  “Mother,” Julian chided softly. She could be so stubborn sometimes.

  The dragon rolled its eyes and lifted its head from Julian’s hands. It flared wide nostrils and exhaled a long gust of ash-smelling breath upon her cheeks.

  Julian smiled. Finally, she’d listened.

  Darkness swept from the shadows, wrapping around the silver head and body of the giant beast, trapped in such a small cavern. Her wings couldn’t extend, nor could she stand. The dragon lords would never allow it, for if she could stand and feel the wind beneath her wings, she could fly. And fly she would.

  Shadowy flames dispersed to reveal a woman in her early middle age with thick dirty blonde curls, the same as Julian’s, and dark blue eyes. Her mother pursed her dry lips and narrowed her eyes at her daughter.

  “Julian,” she greeted, irritation as clear in her eyes as it was her voice.

  Julian leapt from where she knelt and closed the distance between them. She wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck and nuzzled her cold cheeks against her hair. Warmth radiated from her mother’s swollen body, and the enormous bulge in her belly nearly kept them apart.

  Her mother’s tense shoulders relaxed as she embraced Julian. “I missed you too, my love.”

  Tears burned the back of Julian’s eyes. She blinked towards the ceiling of the cavern, wishing the tears back into her head. “It’s seemed like ages.”

  “Only a few days.” Her mother leaned back and held her at arm’s length. Her fingers gently brushed a loose strand of hair from her cheek. “I’ve never left you, and I won’t begin to now.”

  Julian nodded. “I know.”

  Now that they were properly reunited, her mother ushered her from the large cavern into an adjacent cave, one with walls far less jagged and with furnishing that might make her believe the dragon lords cared for her mother at least a little.

  Her mother clung to her side as they entered. Embers burned in the fireplace, and thick velvet covered every surface, from the queen sized four-poster bed, to the chairs and sofas nestled by the fire. If Julian didn’t know any better, she’d say it was a room for royalty. In a way it was, as her mother was the last direct descendant of the Ancients: the first dragons to burst from the molten core of the earth and breathe ash upon the world.

  “How are you doing?” Julian asked. She helped her mother to the sofa and gently lowered her to sit before fetching a blanket.

  “Fine, fine.” She made a shooing motion at Julian, even while sweat coated her forehead and her normally tawny skin was pale. Somehow she seemed older, even if that was impossible. Dragons could choose the age of their human form. Where her mother was thousands of years old, her clear skin and nearly wrinkle-less face didn’t show it. In the same way, Julian chose to appear eighteen, the age of adulthood in the land of Warshard, the six kingdoms beyond the mountains.

  Julian wrapped a thick wool blanket, the heaviest piece of fabric she wore, around her mother’s thin shoulders. The nearly translucent white cotton dress she wore was hardly suitable for the cold temperature, yet her mother always insisted on being comfortable when she returned to human form.

  “How long until the baby comes?” Julian asked.

  “Any day now.” She leaned back against the couch, taking quick, shallow breaths.

  “There’s still time to escape then.” Julian’s heart beat faster. “We could go now, take the secret tunnels you showed me. We could reach Warshard in two days, less if we hurry.”

  Her mother levelled her a look. “Julian, you know we can’t.”

  “But mother––”

  “You know every reason why we’d be captured, and worse, you might be caught.” Her dark eyes flashed with anger. “I won’t have them do this to you too. Not my only daughter. I will stay, and you will go.”

  Julian started and her eyes flew wide. “What?”

  “There’s something I need to tell you, Julian.” Her mother’s fists balled in her lap. “I don’t know how much more my body can take of this, and once I’m gone, I’ll have no magic left to protect you.”

  “Mother––”

  “Do not interrupt me,” she snapped. “When I’m gone, they will find you, but there is something––someone––out there that may be able to stop them.” The dragon lords.

  “But how?” Her heart rose into her throat and her stomach twisted. Her mother had never spoken of her leaving alone before. They’d always dreamed of escaping together, of fleeing to the six kingdoms and beyond, as far as their wings could take them.

  “There’s a girl, an ashen––”

  Julian’s skin chilled. The ashen were a half-breed race, a mix between dragons and humans. With the likelihood of another female ever being born dwindling, the males had begun to mate with magical humans in order to continue their lines.

  “This ashen is different than the others. I can feel her magic even now.” Her mother closed her eyes and tilted her head to the ceiling. Warm light bathed her skin in gold and amber. “She’s so strong, like nothing I’ve ever felt before. She’ll be the downfall of Izenfir. She’ll destroy the Holy Fire they worship and set us free.”

  Julian’s lips twisted in a frown. Her mother was putting a lot of faith in an ashen they didn’t yet know. How could a half-breed bring down the dragon lords? If her mother wasn’t strong enough to, how could a mere girl?

  “Don’t let your doubt cloud your judgment, my love.” She opened her eyes. Her lips quirked in the first smile Julian had seen in ages. “Close your eyes and reach out, over the mountains to Warshard.”

  Sighing, Julian did as her mother said. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she exhaled she reached with her mind, a ghost of a hand she pictured passing over the snow-topped mountains of Cinder, to the six kingdoms endless forests and grassy hills as far as the eye could see.

  Her tensed shoulders relaxed, and she smiled. Though she’d never been there, her mother had told many tales of the beautiful land she one day hoped to call home.

  “Now with your senses, reach for magic. Reach for the burn of power and dark scent of a dragon among so many humans.” Her mother’s soft voice whispered through her ears.

  Julian could feel it. The wind beneath her wings, the cold air against her cheeks. But beyond that she called for the darkness in every dragon, the hunger that lay deep inside her belly, the unquenchable thirst that craved power and fire and ash upon every living thing.

  She wiped her sweaty palms on her trousers and swallowed the growing lump in her throat. Her heart raced, pounding behind her eyes as she pulled at the one part of her she’d never been comfortable with: the beast she refused to acknowledge.

  Heat burst across her fingertips and up her arms. It pulled a gasp from her throat as warmth clenched around her heart and mind. The beast in her gut rolled from its slumber and clawed at her stomach, racking painfully at her insides like a wild cat trying to scale a mountain. The burn of magic was unmistakable. Something incredibly strong dwelled inside the six kingdoms. It called to her and she was tempted to answer.

  “That’s the girl who will save us.”

  Her mother’s voice threw cold across the molten flames. Julian gasped in a cool breath of air. Her eyes flew open and she looked at her mother. The vision was gone. The fire and the beast were gone. But the girl was real.

  “Where is she?” Julian took deep breaths as if she’d been under water a long time.

  “South.” She shrugged. “That’s all I can tell in this state.” She glanced down at her belly. “You have to find this girl, Julian. If either of us can ever be free.”<
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  Julian shook her head. “But if I leave your sphere of magic, the others will be able to sense me.”

  “Normally, that’d be true, but the magic of my new son should blind them for at least a couple of weeks. Long enough for you to find this girl and come back.” Her mother’s fierce gaze locked on her own. “We’ll figure out the rest once you’re safe again.”

  “But what about you?” Julian shifted uncomfortably. She’d never left the mountains, never gone further than the valleys inside them. Warshard would be an entirely new place, with new people, those who wouldn’t understand her, or her magic. How was she supposed to find this girl on her own and somehow convince her to return to a place no one knew existed?

  “I’ll be fine.” She smiled. “You needn’t worry about me.” She brushed Julian’s cheek with her fingertips.

  Julian leaned against her warm hand, nearly as hot as an iron. She was grateful such heat could never hurt her, not with fire running through her veins.

  “You should leave tonight. I have a feeling your brother won’t wait much longer.” She shifted, holding her bulging belly as she did.

  Her pulse raced, a mix of anxiousness, uncertainty and excitement at what was to come. “Okay. I’ll go for you.”

  Her mother’s smile faltered. “Thank you, my love.”

  Julian leaned forward and embraced her mother. Finally, she was going to see a world she’d only ever dreamed of. She couldn’t wait.

  A warm breeze brushed her cheeks, the first sign of the outside world. Flames warmed her fingers, outstretched and quivering in the wind. Magic burned her fingers, pleasant and tingling her skin, while her stomach rolled with power hunger.

  Firelight bathed the jagged tunnel walls, dark and dripping with moisture. Distant birdcalls echoed ahead and behind. Birds. Real birds. She’d only ever seen one once in the valley, on the lone dead tree. It had been large, or what she assumed was large for a bird, with brown feathers and a wingspan that stretched the length of the branch. When it saw her it screeched and flew away, up into the clouds. Jealousy had panged her heart at the sight. She’d only ever flown when young, before her mother taught her to transform. Now, the magic it took to transform was too great. If she wasn’t directly beside her mother, the dragon lords might sense her above her mother’s magic. She just couldn’t risk it.

  Another breeze rushed through the tunnel, sending the flames in her hand flickering. She lowered her fingers, and let the flames die, taking with it the hunger in her belly. Soft, cold light filtered down the tunnel.

  A grin lit her face and her heart leapt. After days weaving through the tunnels, she’d finally arrived.

  Adjusting the straps of her rucksack, Julian made sure the straps were held tight before she took off running. The heavy sack of clothes, food and water bounced against her spine as she sprinted towards daylight.

  Finally, the six kingdoms. The home she was certain she’d one day have, and she was about to see it.

  Her breath fogged the air as she pushed around the last bend. Brilliant light burst from the mouth of the cave, sending white lights across her vision. Julian squinted and shielded her eyes with her hand, but she didn’t stop, not until the rock beneath her boots gave way to perfectly green grass. It swallowed her feet to her ankles, sliding beneath her pant-leg and tickling her skin.

  “Grass,” Julian exclaimed. She fell to her knees, gripping the long wet fibres between her fingers. They were slick and not quite as silky as they looked, but still, she couldn’t contain the joyful squeak unleashed from her throat.

  Once her eyes adjusted to the light, Julian looked up at the pine forest down a short hill, at the birds cawing as they leapt from the lush branches of trees, and squirrels scuttled along the forest floor, leaping for cover up the thick trunks.

  Beyond the forest smoke rose from a town, and a river banked around its far side. Hills continued as far as she could see, hundreds – no – thousands of trees, all under a bright blue sky.

  Her thudding heart slowed as she kneaded the grass between her fingers.

  Home. It was the only word she could use to describe it. One day, this would be her home.

  Wiping the dew on her hands across her thighs, Julian rose, her shoulders lighter than ever, even with ten pounds of goods on her back. She couldn’t wait for her mother to see this again. She couldn’t wait to fly over the mountaintops and leap into a river.

  Julian grinned as she descended the hill. Before she could enjoy Warshard properly, she had a mission to complete – a mission she hoped would take her across more of the beautiful countryside.

  But first, she needed to find that town and figure out where she was going. All she had was her sense of the magic girl who might save her mother from a life of service. She had no town or city name, just a sense and a direction. Explaining that to anyone willing to aid in her travels wouldn’t be so easy.

  Chewing on her lip, she reached the bottom of the hill. Tall trees shaded her from the sun, casting dappled light across the pine needle strewn roots protruding from the ground.

  From what her mother described, the people of the six kingdoms were generally kind. She should be emerging in a kingdom called Salander, but beyond that, her mother had no idea what city she needed to travel to.

  Julian took a deep breath. She hoped it was close, so she could get the girl and return to her mother, who hopefully would have a plan by the time she returned.

  She paused at the edge of the forest, a dirt path inches from her boots. She closed her eyes and pictured the hills and trees. In her mind she flew over the land, reaching out for the burn of magic once more.

  Her stomach flipped and hollowed. Flames ran through her gut and up into her chest. Julian turned left, right, back the way she’d come. She stepped in each direction until the hunger reached up into her throat and burned her tongue.

  That way.

  Julian opened her eyes and let the magic go. Cold air filled her lungs with each breath, settling the beast back down. Directly south: just as her mother had said. She stepped onto the path heading towards the smoke. Maybe someone in town could give her an idea of where she was going.

  * * *

  An hour later the sun crested the top of the trees. Noon. Her stomach growled, not with hunger for power, but with genuine hunger for food.

  She chomped on an apple as the trees parted and the lane widened. Sour juice burst across her tongue and sent a shiver up her spine. She hoped her mother hadn’t given her too much of their food. She’d be treated like a queen this close to the birth, as if treating her well right before the baby was born could somehow determine its gender. But once the baby was born, as with the ones before it, as soon as it was clear the baby was male, her mother would be sent back to her chambers, and shunned until someone thought to impregnate her again.

  Fury burst through her chest, sending heat to her fingertips. She clenched her fists so flames wouldn’t leap from them.

  She took a deep breath. This is why she was on this journey. She’d save her mother and make the dragon lords regret they ever enslaved her.

  Though her calves ached and her shoulders grew sore, she continued down the road at a brisk pace. The sweetness of the apple faded and she tossed the remainder into the trees. Her excitement over new things still sent her heart racing, though it was clouded by her desperate desire to fix things.

  The light smoke in the distance grew thicker the closer she got, until it was a solid gray cloud hovering in front of the sky.

  Julian looked down as the edges of buildings came into view. Buildings not made from thick slabs of rock, but from wood and cobblestone. She raised an eyebrow and slowed her pace.

  The soft rumble and clack of rocks came from ahead, as did soft chatter and the whinny of horses.

  Again her heart leapt. She’d never seen a horse or even a human before. Though her mother told her they looked the same as dragons in their human form, she still wanted to see them for herself.

  Juli
an was sprinting before she realized what she was doing. A cart pulled out from an adjacent street, a large brown animal with long legs, wide hooves and thick hair pulling it along the road. A horse.

  She stopped at the intersection, her heart pounding as she looked back and forth. Pens of small white-feathered birds with orange beaks, boxes of plants and a fire pit with the thick smoke she’d seen on the walk.

  Two tall men sat by the fire pit, chewing on long pieces of yellow grass and speaking with each other in low rumbly voices. On the other side of the lane a woman with large hips and an apron hung sheets from a line attached to a bar near her front door, and a post ten-feet away.

  Further down the lane more men and women rode by on horseback, silver armor glinting in the sun instead of the pale cotton of the others. They had to be warriors of some kind, with swords at their hips and shields on their backs.

  Julian turned in circles to take in all the wonders of the town. She’d never seen so many people in her life, or so many unfamiliar sights, sounds and smells.

  “Dear, you’ve been standing there for some time.”

  Julian spun to find the woman in the apron smiling kindly. She held her hands in her lap, and unlike Julian and her mother, had dark hair pulled into a bun at the back of her head. She was older than her mother’s human form, and a bit wider, but her eyes shined like the grass on the hillside.

  “Hello.” Julian grinned. “I’m sorry, I’ve never seen so many interesting things this close together.”

  The woman raised an eyebrow, wrinkling her forehead. “This is only a small town, dear. Where are you from?”

  “The mountains,” she said. “What is the name of this town?”

  “Elmhurst.” The woman continued to look at her strangely, but Julian could only beam.

  “Elmhurst.” Her very first town. “And what is that way?” Julian pointed south; in the direction her sense was taking her.

  The woman followed the direction of her finger. “Well, there are forests, and fields, other villages, the sea, the capitol.”