Her Best-Kept Secret

by Harlen, Brenda

  “That’s hardly conclusive,” she scoffed.

  He nodded. “There’s something else Helen mentioned.”

  She swallowed, not wanting to ask the question and yet not able to hold it back. “What’s that?”

  “A birthmark.”

  Her hand went instinctively to her hip.

  “The baby Helen gave up for adoption had a heart-shaped birthmark exactly where yours is.”

  She couldn’t lie about the birthmark or deny its existence—he’d seen it, touched it, kissed it. Maybe that’s why she felt so betrayed by these disclosures now. How could he do this to her? How could he even suggest something so ridiculous—especially when he knew she had no interest in her birth mother.

  She stared at him through eyes blurred with tears, and asked, “Why are you doing this, Richard?”

  “Because I think the only way you’re going to overcome your doubts and insecurities is to face the past.”

  “You think? How could you know anything about my doubts and insecurities?” she challenged. “How could you understand what it’s like to be unwanted? How could you possibly imagine what it’s like to be discarded and forgotten?”

  “You weren’t unwanted or forgotten,” he said softly.

  “Maybe that’s what you think—but the reality tells a different story.”

  “Why don’t you meet Helen before you jump to any conclusions?” he suggested.

  She shook her head, hating that he sounded so damn logical and reasonable when the jumble of emotions inside her was anything but. “I don’t want to meet her.”

  He studied her for a long moment, and she somehow sensed that he was disappointed in her response.

  “Okay,” he said at last.

  Okay?

  She eyed him warily.

  “It has to be your choice,” he said. “And when you’re ready, I know you’ll make the right one. You just need some time to think about it.”

  She thought about it.

  Throughout the afternoon, Jenny sat in front of her blank computer screen unable to do anything but think about what Richard had told her.

  Could it possibly be true? Could Richard’s boss be her birth mother? Jenny didn’t think so. But why would Richard even suggest it if he didn’t believe it could be true? As much as she wanted to continue to deny the possibility, her curiosity about Helen Hanson was piqued.

  She did an Internet search, found a few articles, some more pictures. Usually Helen was with George Hanson, the media mogul, and gazing through adoring eyes at her much older husband. He was a handsome man, Jenny had to admit, but she wondered if the woman had been attracted by his looks as much as by his much more impressive wealth. Then he’d died, and Helen had found out the wealth wasn’t quite what she’d expected it to be.

  Maybe that was why she’d cooked up this story about an adopted child now. If Richard mentioned Jenny’s name to his boss, it would have been easy enough for Helen to find out that she’d been adopted—and by a very wealthy family. With that information, she’d probably decided it would be easier to claim a long-lost daughter with a hefty trust account than to try and save her husband’s failing business.

  After the debacle of Brad’s recent proposal, it was the scenario that made the most sense to Jenny. It certainly made more sense than believing it was a simple coincidence that her lover’s boss could be her biological mother.

  “Every time I’m here, you’re clicking away on that computer—and you accused me of being a workaholic.”

  Jenny jolted at the interruption.

  As if conjured by her thoughts, Brad was suddenly there.

  “I thought you’d be back in New York by now,” she said.

  “It seemed a shame to come all this way and not take the time to see Tokyo. I spent the weekend sightseeing.”

  At least she didn’t need to worry that she’d broken his heart when she turned down his proposal.

  “I’m heading back tomorrow,” he told her. “But I wanted to say goodbye before I left.”

  He glanced past her to the computer monitor. She inwardly cursed herself for not thinking to close the window when he’d shown up.

  “What are you working on?” he asked.

  “Just doing some research for a story on the TAKA merger with Hanson Media.”

  “Doesn’t sound very interesting.”

  “It’s not a natural disaster or civil war, so I guess it wouldn’t seem too interesting to you,” she agreed.

  “Wow.” Brad ignored her comment, his attention focused on the picture on the screen. “The Hanson widow looks remarkably like you.”

  Now she did click to close the window. “They say we all have a twin somewhere in the world,” she said lightly.

  His gaze narrowed on her. “Yeah,” he agreed at last. “That’s probably it.”

  She forced a smile. “Have a good trip back.”

  “Maybe I’ll see you in New York sometime?”

  “Maybe.”

  He hesitated a moment before bending to kiss her cheek, then he was gone.

  She exhaled a shaky sigh of relief. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so easy to get rid of the thoughts about Helen Hanson that plagued her mind.

  She hadn’t given Richard an answer about dinner with Helen. She wasn’t sure what her answer would be. Her initial instinct had been to refuse—as if considering the invitation would give too much credence to the possibility that Helen was her birth mother. Then she resolved to accept, if only to prove that the claim was completely erroneous. Brad’s reaction to Helen’s picture made her rethink this position. What could meeting Richard’s boss possibly prove except that there were some similarities in their appearance?

  She was still undecided when she showed up at his suite later that afternoon. He’d given back the key card she’d returned last week, but she took a deep breath to steady her nerves and knocked.

  Richard felt the strain in his smile when he opened the door and saw Jenny standing there. His brain scrambled for an out from what he already knew was an impossible situation as he heard himself say, “You’re early.”

  Her smile was warm. “I couldn’t wait to see you.”

  Normally the admission would have filled him with satisfaction. But there was nothing normal about the situation she was about to walk into, and he felt only trepidation as she stepped past him and into the room.

  She halted abruptly, and he knew she’d spotted Helen standing on the other side of the room. She looked at him—shock, hurt and a hint of fear in her eyes.

  Before he had a chance to say anything, Helen turned.

  He heard her suck in a breath as her eyes locked on the younger woman. Her eyes widened and her face went pale, as if she was seeing a ghostly apparition—or the daughter she’d given up.

  “Oh, my God.”

  Jenny was the first to look away, silently pleading for his help. But he didn’t know what to do. As much as he’d wanted the two women to meet, he hadn’t wanted it to happen like this.

  “You promised that it would be my decision,” she said. Her words were barely more than a whisper, but he heard the echo of her hurt, her distress, the belief he’d betrayed her.

  “I didn’t plan this, Jenny.”

  “Just another unlikely coincidence?” she asked, her tone laced with skepticism.

  “It is,” he insisted.

  Helen had remained silent, listening to their exchange, but she finally spoke to Jenny. “You’re my daughter.”

  Jenny shook her head. “My mother is Dana Anderson.”

  “She’s your adoptive mother,” Helen clarified.

  “She’s the only mother I have—the only one that matters.”

  Helen flinched as she absorbed the harsh words that were more a reprimand than a statement of fact. But it was the stark pain in Jenny’s eyes that squeezed Richard’s heart.

  While revealing the truth seemed to him the obvious—and maybe the only—way to start to heal the wounds of the past for both of them, he ha
dn’t wanted it to happen like this. Yes, Jenny needed to hear why Helen gave her up, to know that she wasn’t unwanted. And Helen needed to know the woman her child had become, to understand that she’d made the right decision all those years ago. But he wished he hadn’t found himself tangled up in the middle.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you,” Helen said softly. “I’m just so glad to finally meet my daughter.”

  “I’m not your daughter,” Jenny said. But the denial was shaky and her eyes were filled with tears when she turned toward the door.

  “Jenny, wait—”

  But she was already out the door.

  She went to her parents’ house. With her entire world crumbling around her, Jenny couldn’t think of anywhere to go but home.

  Dana was pulling weeds out of her flower beds when she arrived, but one look at her daughter’s face and she peeled off her gardening gloves and went to her. “What’s wrong?”

  She couldn’t answer. Her throat was tight, her eyes swimming with tears.

  Her mother took her hand and led her over to the porch.

  Jenny followed without protest, sitting down on the step beside her. It wasn’t until her mother took her in her arms that Jenny let the tears fall. She couldn’t hold them back any longer. Dana cuddled her as she had when she was a child, and Jenny cried as she hadn’t cried since she was a child.

  She cried until her eyes were swollen and her throat was raw, until she felt as if she didn’t have any tears left inside.

  Dana rubbed her hand over her back. “You’re really starting to scare me, honey.”

  She lifted her head from the comfort of her mother’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

  “I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”

  “You’ve always been there for me,” Jenny said. “Always, even when I didn’t deserve it.”

  “You’ve always deserved it.”

  She managed a watery smile. “Even when I was a teenager, testing your patience?”

  “Especially then.” Dana kissed both of her daughter’s tear-streaked cheeks. “No matter what, your dad and I will always love you.”

  Jenny blinked back fresh tears as she nodded, finally accepting it was true, acknowledging that the family she’d wanted so desperately had been there for her all along.

  Richard checked her apartment and the newspaper, but couldn’t find Jenny at either of those places. That left only one possibility that he could think of—her parents’ home. While he wasn’t anxious to face either Harold or Dana Anderson, his need to see Jenny left him with no other option.

  Samara had given him the address, and Dana Anderson opened the door almost immediately after he pressed the bell.

  “I need to see Jenny,” he told her.

  “She doesn’t want to see you right now, Richard.”

  He wasn’t surprised by the response, but he wouldn’t let it deter him, either. “I’m not going anywhere until I talk to her.”

  Her lips curved ever so slightly. “I wonder if your stubbornness is any match for my daughter’s.”

  “I’m not going to give up on her.”

  “You probably already know that Jenny doesn’t do anything in half measures. When she loves, she loves completely. And when she hurts, she hurts deeply.”

  “I never wanted to hurt her.”

  “But that’s what happened, isn’t it?”

  “I regret that Jenny met Helen the way she did,” he said. “But I still believe she should know her birth mother.”

  “Because it’s what your boss wants?” she challenged.

  “Because it’s what Jenny needs. I know you’re her mother in every way that counts,” he continued. “And Jenny knows that you love her, but she still has insecurities because of her adoption.”

  “You think knowing her birth mother will change that?”

  “I think it’s an important step.”

  “Even if it’s not what she wants?”

  He hesitated, then nodded.

  “I happen to agree with you.”

  His surprise must have shown, because Dana smiled.

  “Harold and I expected there would come a time when Jenny started asking questions about her adoption,” she said. “But she never did. We knew she had questions—that was obvious in so many ways—but she never voiced them, at least not to us. I think she felt it would be disloyal to show any interest in her birth mother, or maybe she thought we would be hurt if she wanted to find her.”

  She sighed. “I saw how much she was hurting herself by keeping it all bottled up inside, and I tried to talk to her. Harold and I both did. But Jenny adamantly refused to discuss her birth mother and we never succeeded in forcing the issue.”

  “I don’t think anyone forces Jenny to do anything.”

  “You do know my daughter.”

  “I love her, Mrs. Anderson.”

  Dana sighed again. “You’re lucky Harold is in Singapore on business right now. He would have called the police and had you hauled off to jail for hurting his little girl.”

  “Am I safe in assuming you won’t?”

  “I won’t,” she agreed. “I also won’t tell you that Jenny likes to sit by the pond out back when she needs to think.”

  Jenny was there, as her mother had said she would be.

  Sitting alone on the grass, her chin resting on her bent knees, her arms wrapped around them. She looked like a child—lost and alone.

  She didn’t hear him approach, so Richard stood silent for several moments watching her, trying to find the words to repair the damage that he’d done. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed from crying, and he felt the sharp kick of guilt in his chest.

  It didn’t matter that he hadn’t deliberately set up the meeting with Helen. What mattered was that he’d set everything in motion, and he was responsible for hurting her.

  He sat down on the grass beside her.

  She stiffened but gave no other indication that she was even aware of his presence.

  They stayed that way, side by side and silent for several long minutes before he broke the silence. “How long do you think you can continue to ignore me?”

  “Until you go away.”

  He shook his head. “You once accused me of being pushy. Well, I’m going to keep pushing until we deal with this.”

  “There’s nothing to deal with.”

  He watched as a tear slid down her cheek, then another.

  “I love you, Jenny.”

  She shook her head fiercely. “Don’t you dare say that to me now.”

  “It’s true.”

  “If it was true, you wouldn’t have ambushed me.”

  “I didn’t invite Helen to my hotel suite. I wouldn’t do that to you. But now that you’ve met her—”

  “I didn’t want to meet her.” She stood up, finally turning to face him. “I thought I made it perfectly clear that I had no interest in finding my birth mother—and that applies to anyone claiming to be my birth mother, too.”

  He was silent for a moment before he said, “You should have heard her talking about the baby she’d given up—the grief in her voice.”

  “You should have heard me when I said I didn’t want to know the woman who gave me away.”

  “I heard you,” Richard admitted. “I just couldn’t believe you really meant it. I can’t believe you don’t have questions.”

  “About the mother who abandoned me at birth?” she asked scornfully.

  “About her reasons for giving you up.”

  “Well, I don’t.”

  He still didn’t believe her, but he knew it would serve no purpose to press the issue now. “Then I’m sorry,” he said, accepting that he did owe her an apology for the way events had unfolded, for causing her pain even if it had been inadvertent.

  He reached for her, wanting to offer her comfort, wanting to draw her closer. She seemed so distant now—her hurt and anger a tangible barrier between them.

  She pulled away fro
m him.

  “Please don’t let this come between us.”

  “You put it between us,” she said coolly. “When you put Helen’s needs before mine.”

  “Dammit, Jenny. That’s not how it happened.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “No. I was only thinking about you.”

  But his words didn’t sway her. He could tell she didn’t believe him. In her entire life, no man had ever put her first. Certainly none of her ex-boyfriends had, and he couldn’t blame her for being skeptical now.

  “You need to talk to Helen,” he said gently. “You need to hear from her why she made the decisions she did. Maybe then you’ll finally stop feeling like you’ve always been second best.”

  She shook her head. “I’ll stop feeling that way when other people stop treating me that way.”

  Then she turned and walked back to the house.

  Jenny felt numb. The hurt and anger and confusion had all been washed away by the flood of tears, leaving her feeling only empty inside. Her emotions now spent, her mind started to sift through the bits of information she’d been given, forcing her to face new questions she wasn’t sure she was ready to have answered.

  Dana knocked softly on her door before entering the bedroom. The mattress dipped slightly as she sat beside her daughter. “I saw Richard leaving.”

  She didn’t respond.

  “Do you feel better knowing you hurt him, too?” The gentle tone failed to mask the censure in the question.

  Jenny scowled. “I can’t believe you’re taking his side.”

  Her mother sighed. “It’s not about taking sides, but I do think he wants what’s best for you.”

  “Best would be not having Richard Warren make decisions for me.”

  “What about Helen Hanson?” Dana asked. “What are you going to do about her?”

  She shrugged. “Nothing.”

  Dana waited.

  “Despite her claims, I don’t believe she’s the woman who gave birth to me.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s just too unbelievable that our paths would happen to cross the way they did. It’s like something out of a bad movie.”

  “It does seem unlikely,” Dana said.