Forever's Promises (Forever In Luck Series Book 1)

by J. Darling

  Nate bellowed as the four of them barreled towards the back of the bar, the ladies team flittering out of the way like loose paper napkins. At the sound, Mr. Bartender looked over his shoulder and jumped away from Linnie, trying to make his way behind the relative safety of the bar. His quick movements, and red shirt, attracting Nate like a bull in a ring. Unable to reach the bar in time, the bartender grabbed a bat from the sports paraphernalia hanging on the wall, and prepared to defend himself. At the sight of the weapon, and the ruckus at hand, the bar inhabitants stepped back and away, widening the space in play. Linnie’s brothers slowed their pace, fanning out, as the bartender swung the bat to hold them off. The maneuver didn’t deter Nate though, he kept right on going, ever present and on the offensive, plowing forward, taking charge.

  Unable to get the bat back into swing position, the bartender went on the defensive. Grasping an end of the bat in each hand, he brought it up in an effort to deflect any blows coming his way. Nate singlehandedly grabbed the bat, twisting it up and around, while he hooked the bartenders legs with one of his own, taking him down with a lift and a flip. Spinning the guy onto his stomach, Nate took hold of his wrists with one hand, and grabbed his collar with the other, then using his raw power, he quickly picked the guy up and tossed him against the back wall with an umphhh, pinning him there, all within a matter of moments. He heard a collective gasp from the bar’s patrons.

  “You will not look at her, you will not talk to her, and you will never, ever touch her, or I’ll pull your arms from their sockets and use them as swizzle sticks,” Nate said with a deadly air for all to hear. “Do I make myself clear?” The bartender nodded, and Nate stepped back. “Get behind the bar and stay there, before I have your ass fired.” Nate commanded with authority, while pointing the bat in that direction.

  As the guy slithered away, Nate stopped and took a few deep breaths, feeling the huge surge of adrenalin in his system, and hating it. People had just received a sneak peek at his ability to harm others. Angered beyond recognition, and unable to face the crowd, he walked over to the wall and gently hung the bat in place. His Army training had kicked in and taken over. He could have killed that guy with a snap, if he hadn’t been able to get control.

  “Nate…” Linnie said softly.

  “This never would have happened if we were married,” he barked loudly, reflecting on his conversation with the bartender. As soon as he said it, he knew it’d been the wrong thing to have said and done. Her face went from quiet reassurance, to confused contemplation.

  “Just so I’m sure I understand,” she said tentatively. “You think, just because we’d be married, that men wouldn’t look at me, or talk to me, or come on to me? Nate, I deal with men all the time in my job, when I’m…”

  Whoa, wait a minute, the scene with the bartender flashed in his mind. It’d never occurred to him. He’d never thought of her as a nurse in the sense that she’d be exposed to all kinds of men, some of them dangerous and aggressive, and in all likelihood, she’d be alone with them as they dealt with delicate, personal, and intimate situations, that could put her in the same kind of danger as she’d been in tonight, or worse.

  Alarmed, he quickly responded by cutting her off. “I don’t want you being a nurse.” Holy hell, that didn’t just come out of his mouth, did it? Oh man, this was going be bad, he knew it. He was doing it again, not listening, cutting her off, telling her what to do.

  He watched, as she stopped what she was saying and looked at the crowd, then to the floor. Her chin quivered, and he wanted to die. He’d shamed and embarrassed her in front of the whole damn town. “Linnie, I—“ He stopped when she looked at him with a lethal glare. She. Was. Pissed. No doubt about it. He knew that look. He’d seen it before, and he hated to admit it, but he was becoming an expert at recognizing it.

  “Let’s get some things straight, Nate Sanders,” she said with a definite edge to her voice, while pointing a finger at him.

  He knew where she got that from, and Nate just realized for the first time she was a lot like her father.

  “YOU were the one who left me, just up and walked away. If we’re not married right now, that’s your problem, not mine. Second, no ceremony, or piece of paper, will stop men from looking at me, or talking to me, so you’d better get used to it quick. Third, I’m done listening to what you want, or don’t want. I don’t speak that language, so you’d best find a new one. Fourth, the day you think you’re going to start telling me what to do, or not to do, is the day you will have lost your mind, because it ain’t happening. And fifth, all of this, everything that’s going on, is about trust. It’s about you having lost trust, in me, and in everything, and everyone around you.”

  Finished, she turned to leave, and Nate went after her. “Linnie, I—”

  Turning on him, she started poking a finger in his chest, pushing him back into the crowd with her words. “No! No talking to me, no following me, nothing. I am so angry right now, I’m liable to say things I’ll regret.” Then grabbing her purse from a nearby table, she turned and walked out.

  Stunned, Nate just stood there in silence. He heard Nik say something about the party being over, and then the crowd started milling about. “Jake, tell me what just happened, didn’t really happen,” he said, waiting...hoping.

  Silence.

  Closing his eyes, he dropped his head. Jake took him by the shoulder, and steered him over to their table. Handing him his jacket, Jake told him to put it on, and that he’d drive him home.

  “Well,” Nate said, still in shock, “she’s definitely found her voice, and her confidence.”

  “Yep, she sure has. You did want her to tell you how she was feeling, so there you go. Something tells me, she’s able to handle her own.”

  “Yeah, thanks. I already feel like horseshit, and you’re not making me feel any better.”

  “Just keeping it real, Nate, just keeping it real.”

  “Great, you’re a real gem.”

  “I know. You can thank me later. Let’s hit the road.”

  **********

  Linnie had had it by the time she’d walked out of the Bon Ton. She loved Nate beyond belief, but she was done letting him behave as he was. She could appreciate what he was going through, but they needed to get help if they were going to make it. Pulling out her car keys, she saw Nancy and Bob Barnes getting out of their car. Remembering, the photo scanning project they’d worked on together, and that their son had suffered with PTSD, she headed their way.

  “Hi Nancy, Bob.”

  “Oh hi, Linnie, how are you?” Nancy asked, smiling.

  “Ahhh, not so good right now. I’m wondering if you two might be willing to talk with me. It’s about Nate, and his behavior since coming back.”

  The two of them looked at each other, then Nancy turned back and said, “Get in, we’ll go back to the house, we can talk there.”

  Staying long into the night, Linnie looked at pictures and listened to Nancy and Bob’s story, learned about their son, Billy, and his struggle with PTSD. She talked about Nate, and what they were going through. It wasn’t until the early morning hours that they were done talking, and sat eating the breakfast Bob had made.

  “I really appreciate your sharing with me everything you’ve gone through,” Linnie said. “I’ve been so worried, and I need to find a way to get Nate and me into treatment. When I’ve tried to open the door to a discussion regarding what he’s experiencing, he becomes evasive and tight lipped.”

  “Start by taking care of you first,” Nancy said. “Caring for someone who’s gone through what Nate has, while suffering from PTSD, can be exhausting. Set up a support system for yourself, go to meetings, talk to a counselor, they’ll all help you, help Nate. Bob and I are here if you ever need to talk, Nate too.”

  “Thank you, I really appreciate that, you too, Bob. Can I help clean up?”

  “No, you must be tired and this can all wait,” Nancy said. “I’ll drive you back to get your car.”

>   “That’s okay,” Linnie answered. “I kind of feel like walking. I need some time to think.”

  “Are you sure? It’s not a problem,” Nancy assured her.

  Linnie nodded her head as she put on her coat. “I’m sure.” Hugging them both, she said her goodbye and left. Walking outside, she knew she wasn’t ready to see Nate. She’d spent the night looking at things from his perspective, and now, it was time to look at things from hers. Instead of heading to the Bon Ton, she headed to Nate’s parent’s house. Light was just starting to break on the horizon, and she knew his dad would have left the house by now, and Bev had planned a day in the cities, so the house would be empty. They’d always told her their house, was her house, so she quickly moved that way. Finding the house dark, she knocked.

  Going to the side door, she found the hidden key and let herself in. Heading straight for Nate’s room, she found one of his shirts and went to the bathroom, readying herself for bed. Back in his room, she crawled under the covers and turned to his pillow. She could smell him on the linens, and missed him already. Settling in, she asked herself, how much of all this are you willing to take?

  **********

  Frantic with worry, Nate was beside himself. This was, by far, the worst torment he’d ever been through, and he’d been through a hell of a lot. Not knowing what happened to her, had him in an utter state of panic. It was like she’d just disappeared off the face of the planet. Her car was still at the Bon Ton, but she was nowhere to be found, and no one knew where she was, or where she’d gone. Feeling totally and completely helpless, he struggled to cope. Why hadn’t he controlled his temper? Why had he yelled at her again? Everything was so out of control. Maybe he needed to leave, maybe they weren’t meant to be together. He was afraid, really afraid of losing her. Where was she? He’d been sending her text message, after text message, with no response. Did she still love him? He sure couldn’t blame her if she decided to wash her hands of him.

  Working to calm himself, he thought of all she’d done for him, seeking reassurance from her actions. He thought of how she’d cared for him, how she’d made love to him, how she’d believed in him, how she’d opened her heart to Mikey, and everything else. She’d done so much for him, for them, and all he’d done was buy her a few flowers she knew nothing about, and paid for her day at the spa, also something she knew nothing about. The truth was, all he’d really done was make an untold number of demands of her.

  He was going to lose her. He needed to change, or he’d lose her. She was right, he had trust issues. He needed to deal with it, with all of it. His life was in a tailspin, and he was about to lose his anchor. He needed to get help. He hated to think about the Army, wanted to be done with it, but he had to. He needed to go back into the system and get help. The thought repulsed him, but after everything she’d done for him, he’d do it for her, for them. He’d call the VA tomorrow and make an appointment. There was a knock on their bedroom door.

  “Yeah, come in,” he said, his voice raspy and weak.

  Jake walked in.

  “What time is it?”

  “Early evening. We just found out she spent the night with Bob and Nancy Barnes. She left their house early this morning, before the sun was up.”

  “What? Why was she with the Barnes?”

  Jake shrugged. “Not sure.”

  Reaching for his phone, Nate scrolled through his contacts till he came to Bob and Nancy’s number, hitting the call button, he waited.

  “Nancy, this is Nate Sanders. Jake’s telling me Linnie was with you last night, is that correct?”

  “Why, yes, yes it is.”

  Breathing a sigh of relief, he continued, “We’re trying to find her, knowing she was with you helps a lot, because we know she was okay as of this morning. Nancy, would you be willing to tell me what she said, or did, while at your house, or if she shared with you where she was headed? Did anything seem off to you?”

  Pausing, Nancy hesitated, “Well, ahh, she wanted to talk to us…about our son.”

  “What?” Nate asked, surprised. “What do you mean she wanted to talk about your son? What son?”

  He heard Nancy sigh. “It’s not what you’re thinking, Nate.” Stopping, he heard her swallow and take a deep breath. “It was a long time ago. Our son was in Viet Nam, and when he came back, he suffered. He…had PTSD, and after several attempts, committed suicide. Linnie’s worried about you, and wanted to talk about things. She loves you very, very much.”

  His head fell. Add another thing to the plate of problems he’d given her, making her worry more. “I appreciate your telling me.”

  “Can I offer you some advice?”

  He’d take anything he could get right about now. “Yeah.”

  “Don’t be too proud to get help. Think about who you’re hurting, and what stands to be lost if you don’t deal with things. Getting help right away, will make a huge difference in both your lives. Trust me, we know this first hand.”

  Good advice, he thought, and another kick in the ass. He was calling the clinic first thing in the morning. “Thank you. We’ll be in touch the first we hear anything. I appreciate your helping us.”

  “Not a problem. We’re here for the both of you, any day, anytime, don’t hesitate to call or come see us.”

  “You’re the best, Nancy. Thank Bob, too, please.” Then he ended the call.

  Aware of Jake still in the room, he said aloud, “I need help. I’m going to lose her, lose everything, if I don’t get help.”

  Jake cleared his throat. “What did Nancy say?”

  “That Linnie asked to talk to them about their son who had PTSD, and committed suicide, as a result of being in Nam. Who all knows, Jake?”

  “All of us, your mom and dad, and now the Barnes.”

  “How? How much do you know?” he asked, as he sat staring at the carpet.

  “A lot. You’re not sleeping, you’re having nightmares and night terrors, you’re avoiding things, people, places, and you’re mood is volatile. We know you were Cobra three, we know about Kyle, we know about Highway 8 in Iraq, and of course we know you were nearly killed.”

  Nate dropped his head into his hands. “What if I hurt her? I’m terrified of hurting her.”

  Jake went over to Linnie’s side of the bed and pulled out the little intercom from the nightstand and showed it to him. “You’ve never once been aggressive towards her, but just in case, we have a plan in place. I’ve made her promise to call me no matter how small the situation, and I’ll come. It’s why dad allowed the two of you to be here unmarried. She told him if he didn’t allow it, the two of you would need to get a place of your own, and she’d be alone to deal with this, and that in fact, this was the safest place for the two of you to be, and he agreed. We won’t let you hurt her.”

  “Jake,” Nate said, with tears in his eyes, “in case I forget, I want to thank you for being the best friend I’ve ever had.”

  “We’ve all got your back. You just need to get help, and get better. That’s all we want.”

  Jake’s phone dinged. Pulling it out he looked. “She’s okay. She just sent a text, that she’s somewhere safe, and has read all our texts. She’s shutting off her phone to save the battery. She’ll turn it back on tomorrow.”

  Falling back on the bed, he put his hands on his head, “Thank God. Can I see it? I need to see it.”

  Handing him the phone, Nate read the text. He felt shaky and weak. He just wanted to hold her and kiss her, apologize, beg, plead for her forgiveness. Then Nancy’s words came to him…

  …Think about who you’re hurting, and what stands to be lost if you don’t deal with things…

  He would get help, he absolutely would. He’d do anything for her. She deserved nothing less than the best, which meant he had some work to do to get himself straightened out. “Where do I start, Jake?”

  “Start by coming clean with Linnie. Trust her enough to tell her what’s going on, and tell her how you're feeling. She’s prepared to hel
p you with the rest.”

  “Man, I really hope for your sake, that when you find Miss Right, you never have to go through what I’m going through now. I think I’ve aged ten years in two weeks.”

  Grabbing his phone, Jake said, “Hang in there, it’ll work out. You just need to think before you speak, is all I’m going to say. Let’s go eat, but be forewarned, Nik’s cooking, so it’ll be bad.”

  Later that night, Nate went to the closet and pulled out the pillows, and their special blanket, putting it all on the bed. Getting in, he covered himself and sent Linnie a text. Goodnight Love, I’m sorry and I miss you. XOXO Nate. Then he took her pillow and hugged it. Closing his eyes, he prayed, and asked God to give him the words to say what needed to be said.

  **********

  Listening for the phone to ring, and the conversation to end, Linnie waited to reveal herself. She’d just sent a text to Jake, and knew there’d be phone calls all around, letting everyone know she’d made contact and was okay. Once she heard the call end, she got up and slipped out of Nate’s room, then went down the hall to the kitchen. Bev and Steven were sitting at the dining table talking.

  “Linnie! Oh my gosh! Sweetie, are you okay?” Bev jumped up from her chair, came across the room, threw her arms around Linnie, and held her tight.

  Nodding, she hugged Bev back. “I needed time to think. I’m sorry I let myself in without permission. I didn’t know where else to go.”

  “This is your home too,” Steven said. “You can come here any time.”

  She nodded. “Thank you.”

  “Sweetie, everyone’s been worried,” Bev said. “I’m glad you contacted Jake to let him know you’re fine.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. When I left the bar last night, I ran into Nancy and Bob. We talked all night, and then I came here. I wasn’t ready to talk to Nate. I was exhausted from being up all night, and still angry with him for what he’d said, and decided it best I not go home yet. So, it was here, or the Luck Inn. I came here. I waited and listened for them to call and tell you I was alright before coming out, so you wouldn’t have to lie, and act like you didn’t know where I was. Please don’t call Nate. I plan to talk with him tomorrow.”