by J. Darling
“Are you hungry?” Bev asked concerned. “Did you eat while here today?”
She shook her head. “I spent most of the day thinking, and then I slept a little.”
“Sit, come eat.” Bev shooed her to the table, while getting another plate. “Let’s talk. We’ll let tomorrow take care of itself.”
Later that night, Linnie turned on her phone. She knew there’d be a text from Nate. She really needed to figure out a way to talk to him about his PTSD, and then get him to agree to get help. Sure enough, there was a text from him, opening it up and reading it, her heart squeezed. I miss you too, honey. We’ll straighten this all out tomorrow.
**********
The next day dawned bright and was Veteran’s Day. Linnie’d gotten up early and had a light breakfast with Bev and Steven, while she waited for her clothes to wash and dry. Getting ready, she mentally prepared for when she’d see Nate. She felt like this was it. They either get on the same page, and get help, or they weren’t going to make it. He was affectionate, but he was no better at talking about his feelings than she was. Bev and Steven had left early for the school, to help set up for the Veteran’s program later that morning.
She was putting on her shoes when her phone dinged. Picking it up, she saw it was a text from Jake. Nate was outside the school, but couldn’t bring himself to go in. He was walking north on 7th Street. Great, because in a few minutes, she’d be walking south on 7th. She’d wondered if he’d be able to attend the program or not, and apparently he was having some trouble. Grabbing her stuff, she headed out the door. Her phone dinged again. Looking at it, it said, Gazebo. Perfect, only one block and she’d be there.
Nate couldn’t go in, there was no way. Things were still too fresh, raw, and he felt anything but a hero. There’d be people there who’d want to thank him for his service, pat him on the back, look up to him, and although he loved his country, he needed to reconcile his past before he could accept any kind of gratitude. Going in there would make him think of those he’d fought beside, and those who didn’t make it home.
Looking around, he started walking. Jake was with him, and he knew Jake was a little worried. He needed to think some, get over his panic. Heading north on Seventh, he walked and walked. Seeing the gazebo, he headed that direction. Stepping in it, he leaned over the railing and stared down Park Avenue, remembering the young boy who used to ride his bike along it, not a worry or care in the world.
“Son, you doing alright?” his father asked, standing off to the side.
Lost in his thoughts, Nate hadn’t heard him arrive. Looking over a shoulder, he saw they were all there, Linnie’s dad and brothers, his parents. Unable to speak, he simply nodded his head in response. Knowing they were all waiting for him, wanting to help, but not sure how, he stood and turned. There she was, walking towards him looking as beautiful as ever, and he drank in the sight of her. Following the curve of the wall as she walked to the entrance of the gazebo, he went to step down the stairs, when she held out her hand, stopping him.
Looking down at her, he spoke first. “I’m sorry. I never should’ve said what I did. I didn’t mean it. I want you to be a nurse, and I want you to be happy, and I do trust you. I… I’m struggling, I’m having trouble since coming back, and I… I need help. I thought I could deal with it on my own, I was so glad to be done with the Army, and I didn’t want to have anything more to do with it, so I’ve been avoiding it, and it’s making everything worse.
Linnie, I don’t just want us married, I need us married. Because the uncertainty of the situation makes my anxiety worse, which in turn makes everything else worse. I love you, and I need you in my life, now and forever. Being with you, loving you, making a life with you, is one of the few good things that hasn’t been taken from me. I lost a part of myself over there.
I’ve done terrible things, terrible, horrible, awful things that I’m not proud of, and I can’t get a lot of it out of my head. Today is a bad day, because I feel guilty for surviving, when many of my brothers in the field didn’t, and because I made it out, while many are still there.”
Taking her hand from his chest, he kissed it. “Please forgive me. Help me to be a better man, and please marry me, because I love you so very much.”
After looking at those around them, she answered, “You say you’ve done terrible things.”
“I’ve killed people, Linnie. I have blood on my hands.”
Looking up at him with compassion, she said, “I know, and I can accept that. The question is, can you? Can you forgive yourself for what you’ve done? Because forgiveness is yours, all you need to do is ask. Nate, you did what you did because you were forced to, and when they dropped you in that hostile environment, it was no longer a war, it was personal, a matter as simple as survival. Had you been trained with words as your weapon, you would’ve used them, but you weren’t, and you did what you did because you wanted to survive. You say you’re struggling, and need help. Promise me you’ll get the help you need, and that you’ll stay with it.”
“I promise. I will do what it takes to make things better.”
“I’ll help you, but I need you to talk to me and tell me what’s going on in your head.”
He shook his head and said, “Terrible things. Horrible images, overwhelming panic, and sheer terror. It’s too much for people who haven’t been there to understand. It’s just too much information—”
She cut him off. “Nate, look at me. I’m a nurse, a trauma nurse at that. I live in the land of too much information. I’ve cared for people whose arms have been pulled from their bodies, whose brain matter is in their hair, whose intestines I’ve had to pick up, whose bones are protruding from their skin. I’ve cared for those who’ve been shot up, and I’ve cared for those who’ve had burns over most of their body. I’ve been there when they bring in women, children, and yes, men, who’ve been raped, and I’ve held people as they’ve taken their last or first breaths of life. I have horrible memories too, and I’ve done things that I wish I hadn’t been forced to do.”
“The tree limb you pulled down at the cabin, the cracking sound…I hate that sound, because it reminds of what it sounds like when a person’s breast bone and ribs break when we do CPR. Trust me, there’s nothing you could tell me that would shock me, or overwhelm me. You can tell me anything.”
Listening to her, hearing what she said, amazed him. He’d known her all their lives, and yet, every day he found something new to admire about her. “You are so brave. You are so brave, and strong, and I am so very fortunate to have you in my life.”
“You say you need me, Nate. Well, that’s a language I can speak, because it comes from the heart. The I wants, you wills, and I wont's, don’t. They come from the brain, and that doesn’t work for me. I’m all about speaking from the heart, and identifying needs. I need you too, because being with you has helped to mend my broken heart. I love you, but I’m scared, because every time I make a commitment of forever, something happens to take it away. I’m afraid of what will happen if I agree to marry you, and you don’t get the help you need, or won’t stay with the program. I can’t lose you again, I just can’t.”
“Linnie, I fought the hands of death to be with you. You’re not going to lose me. You’re not. I promise. Please say yes.”
“Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Jumping down the steps of the gazebo, he took her in his arms and kissed her with all the love he had in his heart, amid the cheers and whoops of their family. Pulling back, he put his forehead to hers and said, “When? When do you want to get married?”
Smiling, she said, “Well, I was thinking we could do it sometime around Thanksgiving, when Jules is here.”
“You mean, like in two weeks?” he asked in stunned delight.
“Yes, unless, of course, that’s too fast for you. We could—”
“No, it’s not too fast,” he said, cutting her off. “It’s perfect, but how are we going to pull this off so quickly?”
“Easy,�
� she said. “No big wedding. Just us, my family, your family, Jules, and the minister. A small intimate affair, with a small family celebration after, and then, taa daa, it’s done.”
“I love it. Can we go home and start planning now?” he asked, feeling relieved and excited all at the same time.
She laughed. “So, you’re into planning a wedding now, are you?”
“Sure am,” he said, kissing her neck and moving up to her ear, then whispered, “After we discuss some other things of a personal nature.”
“Ahh, Nate, our family is standing around us, and can hear you.”
Pulling back, he smiled from ear to ear, then said, “And your point is what?”
EPILOGUE
It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and Nate stood at the front of the Lutheran church with Jake, waiting for Linnie to come down the aisle. The church, lit with dozens of candles scattered about the alter, made the intimate backdrop they’d hoped for in this moment. Thinking back to a month ago, he never would’ve imagined he’d be standing here now about to marry the love of his life. At the time, his only hope was to see her one more time, and he’d been fully prepared for her to be lost to him forever.
Looking up at the cross in front of him, he was reminded of the many blessings placed on him, and he paused to give thanks. His mind skipped over everything that had happened in the month since being back, and then on to what was yet to come. He was entering a PTSD program in Minneapolis on the fourth of December as an outpatient, and he’d met a doctor at the VA clinic in Rice Lake, that appeared genuinely interested in working with him. He’d taken extra time with both Linnie, and him, to explain about the parts of the brain, and what they knew about the stress of combat, and its effect on the nervous system. Plus, he’d prescribed medicine to help reduce his anxiety, which seemed to be helping a lot.
Watching as Jules made her way down the aisle, he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d be his future sister in law. He’d witnessed Jake’s behavior around girls before, but this time it was different. Nate felt pretty confident, Jake was in love with Jules and didn’t even know it. At least he’d acknowledged he liked her a lot, and that he was actively formulating a plan to get her to come back to Luck so they could spend some time together. Nate hoped Jake’s plan to woo her would work. Linnie’d be ecstatic to have Jules as a sister.
As Jules moved past him, Linnie appeared at the entrance to the sanctuary. She was stunning in her elegant gown covered in beading and lace. It had a small train, and true to Linnie, it accentuated her curves, and yet had sheer lace that capped her shoulders, then came down to a simple V, that highlighted, and yet hid, what was for his eyes only. She was so unbelievably beautiful, and he still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he’d survived for this, for her, for this moment when she’d be his, for now and forever. As she came to the end of the aisle, her father put her hand in his, and Nate felt a rush go through him.
“Thank you, Karl. I’ll take good care of her.”
“I know you will, you already are.”
“Thank you, Daddy. You told me everything happens for a reason. Well, this is the why of it. Thank you for not letting me go. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby girl. Take care of you, always.”
She kissed him, before they turned to the minister and said their vows, making promises of forever to one another.
Heading out of the church, they were overcome by the sight of people from their community, standing in the cold wintry night holding candles to light their way, while cheering and shouting well wishes at the sight of them. Gathering hugs and handshakes, they slowly made their way to the waiting limousine that would take them to their private reception at Paradise Landing in Balsam Lake. They hadn’t planned a honeymoon, but their families had gifted them earlier that morning with a honeymoon reservation in Lutsen, along the north shore of Lake Superior. They’d be leaving early the next morning, and Nate couldn’t wait to have her all to himself.
Once in the limo, Nate took Linnie in his arms and kissed her long and deep. “I love you Linnea Katherine Sanders. Thank you for making this the very best day of my life, a day worth living for.”
She smiled, then said with a gleam in her eye, “It’s absolutely, positively, the best day of both our lives, Nathan Michael Sanders.”
“You know I hate being called Nathan.”
She giggled. “Mmhmm, you going to punish me again?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said, smiling widely. “Definitely, and you’re going to like this.” Then reaching over to the minifridge he pulled out a container of chocolate and a can of whipped cream. “Come here, Mrs. Sanders. I’m hungry…for dessert.”
**********
Thank You!
Thanks so much for reading. I hope you have enjoyed Forever’s Promises. If you did, I’d love for you to:
-Consider posting a review at Amazon: Forever's Promises
-Email me at [email protected], I’d love to hear from you.
-Lend the book to a friend through the Kindle lending program.
-Watch for Book Four coming out later 2014.
-Read the first two chapters of Book Two, Forever’s Embrace
FOREVER’S EMBRACE
J. Darling
FOREVER IN LUCK SERIES
Book 1: Forever’s Promises
Book 2: Forever’s Embrace
Book 3: Forever’s Affection
Book 4: (Late 2014)
FOREVER’S EMBRACE
FOREVER’S EMBRACE
Copyright © J. Darling, 2014
First Edition
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author's imagination, or were used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. The republication or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic or mechanical or other means, not known of hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without permission of the copyright owner is illegal and punishable by law.
STORY DESCRIPTION: Mere acquaintances, Jake Albrecht and Jules Blomgren find themselves fostering a budding romance when she visits Luck, Wisconsin, over the Thanksgiving holiday. Separated by time and distance, the smitten Jake devises a plan to get her back to Luck in time for Valentine’s Day and a little romance, when the unexpected happens and their new found love is tried beyond measure. Will it withstand the test? Will he be able to get her to give him a chance? Find out when you read the epic love story in Forever’s Embrace, book two in the Forever In Luck series.
CHAPTER 1
Standing in the baggage claim area of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, Jake Albrecht waited with his younger sister Linnie for her best friend and maid-of-honor, Jules, to arrive from Chicago. Nate, Jake’s soon to be brother-in-law, had been banned from this trip because Linnie was picking up her wedding dress and he wasn’t allowed to see it. Protective as ever, Nate insisted she not travel alone, and so, as brother to the bride and trusted friend, Jake was enlisted to tag along.
It wasn’t like they had to twist his arm though. Jules was a looker, and he couldn’t wait to see her again. It’d been nearly five years since he’d last seen her, and if he wouldn’t have been so young and dumb at the time, he would’ve known back then that she was a one in a million kind of gal and would’ve tried to get something going with her.
The fact that they were separated by six hours and four hundred plus miles hadn’t stopped him from fantasizing about her though, and he’d had a vivid imagination where she was concerned. He wondered if the attraction would still be there, would he still feel the same or—
“Now, Jake, remember it’s her fi
rst visit, so don’t go giving her a hard time. I want her to feel comfortable enough to want to come back again.”
“Me? You talking to me?” he asked innocently. “I’m not the one who gave her a hard time when we visited you in Chicago. It was Nik. I was a perfect gentleman.”
“Aha, right,” Linnie said, rolling her eyes. “Which is why I have to tell you, and Nik, to play nice. Now behave,” she admonished.
He shook his head at her like she was crazy, then turned away and cracked a wide grin, because he and his younger brother had been rather merciless. Jules was a blusher, and boy was she pretty when she did. Turning back, he asked, “How come she’s so shy?”
“Because she’s never really been around men. When she was little, the kids picked on her a lot at school, so her grandma pulled her out and homeschooled her for a few years before she attended an all-girls school.”
“Her grandma? Where are her mom and dad?”
“They died of carbon monoxide poisoning when she was a baby. Her grandparents were caring for her while her parents worked the evening shift. They went home after work to sleep for a while before picking her up in the morning. They died when the furnace malfunctioned.”
Thank God she had grandparents, he thought. “Does she have any family?”