Absolutely (Larson)

by Melissa Veracruz

  What we do know is that I will only be down Reyna, and Kiel will only be down Jacob. It’s weird to be grateful that the geniuses who trashed my house are available to participate. That’s like a Pyrrhic victory. We win by keeping the criminals on our team, but we’re losing too much of our integrity letting it go.

  ***

  The pep rally starts as usual. The squad cheers, the crowd screams, the team claps and chants. In the seeming routine of it all, Reyna strikes. She's not on the court with us, but she might as well have been. Her trademark that I now recognize—public humiliation—is clear.

  We’re dancing to an old number I have had down since eighth grade. Turning to sync up with my line, they're not there anymore. They’ve added a move that left me singled out. To recover, I do a quick tumbling pass. There are more slight changes, too random for me to catch on to—high V instead of a low, high kick instead of a spin, or starting left instead of right. Half-way into the routine, I've had it and stomp out of formation like it’s a practice, not an audience of teenagers who, by the way, are confused by what’s just occurred in their midst. Some are giggling. I stalk to the iPod, shutting it down, and signal Mrs. Lindsey to call it.

  She saw what went down, but she’s unsure of what to do about it herself. Waving us to gather around her, we sit with pompoms in our laps while the rep rally continues without us.

  Reyna is smirking in the risers. My fingers itch to slap that look off her smug face.

  The Student Council’s skit begins while Mrs. Lindsey gives a hushed speech. “I had better not see that ever again! It was unacceptable and petty. We’re not here to embarrass each other. This is a team, a unit. Don’t think I didn’t realize that wasn’t the routine we practiced. Don’t think I won’t break this team up. There are plenty of girls who would love a shot at your positions.”

  Several of the girls have their arms crossed and glare daggers at Mrs. Lindsey. She manages to keep it all business. Her reputation is already hanging precariously by a thread due to the bus incident. The last thing she needs are more lame cheer pranks getting her fired.

  Back on the court, the rest of our cheers and routines go off smoothly. No more pranks. Regardless if it was their intent, I now couldn’t trust my own squad. Damage done. Kind of sucks if we want to accomplish synchronized tumbling passes and pyramids, let alone perform in front of crowds and peers.

  ***

  By the time we are heading to sixth, I am on the verge of kicking lockers and pushing cheer beasts to the ground. Then my girls, with Kiel and Miller flanking them, are by my side. Their arms rest reassuringly on my shoulders. Showing solidarity in my moment of need.

  “Thank you,” I say to them.

  “Anytime,” Miller affirms. I don’t know how I earned his loyalty, and I'm not questioning it. I accept it for what it is; another friendship.

  “Those assholes!” D'Nae growls.

  “Now can we beat them up, Kiel?” I beg.

  “I wish, Ash,” he sympathizes. “I would be the first to close the fight circle and lend you my brass knuckles.” Is he serious? “No, I’m not serious, Ash.”

  Oh, well. It was a happy thought.

  Laughter comes from several of my fellow students in the hall. A few of Reyna’s past victims eye me with pity. They would be my allies in this mess if they weren’t deathly afraid of further retribution.

  I want to be curled up, tucked under Kiel’s impressive arms, letting this day go. Unfortunately, there is so much more to endure. A parade, a short break, then on to the field for pre-game preparations. Thank God the dance isn’t until tomorrow night. Otherwise, I'm sure I would crash on the dance floor.

  Chapter 20

  Kiel

  How to break the news to Ash that I've done the unthinkable and conceded to taking my little sister to a stupid field party? And that I've promised to pick her up from said party, hopefully totally sober. I text my mom, letting her know I'll be spending the night at Tómas’ house—as an alibi for what I'm deeming “one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done in my life.”

  I've been texting Ashlyn throughout the day during the classes I'm not with her. Thinking about what passed between us last night, the happiness sets in again. Once my mind goes to its new happy place with Ash, not even Reyna or Lili can slip in.

  I have stinking (literally and figuratively) black hearts drawn on my arm. The mention of getting a tattoo has me confessing to the tat I already have. I don’t tell her what it is or where it’s at: a Mayan eagle on my thigh. The guys in the locker room are the only ones who know about it. Mom is oblivious and that's how I’d like her to stay. So much about my life has lost its innocence. I let her have an image of my body as pristine and unmarred.

  Shortened classes, a disturbing pep rally, and the excitement of homecoming have us all anxious in one way or another. All five of us stick together as we walk the halls after the pep rally. It lets everyone know to step off. It doesn’t mean they’re silenced.

  ***

  On the way to where the cheerleader and football team’s “floats” are stored, I blare Chevelle’s “The Red.” Ash and I bolt out the lyrics and sport angst-y faces, throwing our heads back in abandon. See why it was so easy to fall in love with her?

  It’s not the most common sight…a dolled up, ponytailed, sparkly faced cheer chick rocking out like she’s front-row, mosh pit at the Warped Tour.

  I park farther out than necessary and bring her in for a quick kiss. We walk, hand-in-hand, to the floats. I feel the need to explain the term “float” here, in case there’s any confusion between our parade and Macy’s. “Float,” in Larson, refers to a flatbed trailer being pulled by a farmer’s truck. With us on it.

  At the glorified, creped-out trailers, our arms stretch to part until only the fingertips are touching. There won’t be any more time together for several hours.

  Out of the blue, Brisa texts me before the floats get rolling.

  Spending the night at a friends.

  Why isn’t every sister like you? I respond.

  The world would b a better place LOL, she replies.

  I meet Ashlyn’s eyes across the parking lot. She got the same text from the smile spreading on her lips. If possible, the foolish grin I’ve had on each instance of Ashlyn-trance, just got bigger. The pit of vipers on her float cannot dampen her happiness.

  My phone beeps once more.

  Can I jus’ crash in your arms tonight? she asks.

  Absolutely, I say, borrowing her favorite answer. Second wind.

  ***

  We toss candy at kids, smile, and yell like banshees through town on the parade route. After the parade, there’s enough time to grab a quick dinner with the team, then it’s onto the field for stretches. Ashlyn is dropped off by her mom an hour before game time. I tip my chin up, acknowledging her arrival. She smiles, distracted. I wonder what she’s thinking about with such focus that her attention is elsewhere. My ego takes a nosedive.

  I know exactly what I've been focused on, and she’s standing on the sidelines, bent over digging for her water bottle. When it’s in her hands, she peers back at me. Her water bottle tips back to her lips, but her eyes don’t waver, neither in direction or intensity.

  I guess I know exactly where her focus is, as well. Ego nosedive averted.

  Every time I'm on the sidelines waiting for the defense to get us the ball back, I glimpse over at the cheerleading squad. Those chicks are absolutely vicious. They keep changing moves on Ashlyn, only it’s a bit more subtle. A foot slips during a pyramid, a few centimeters, but enough to hurt. Mrs. Lindsey, borderline narcoleptic that she is, is oblivious. I consider begging Ashlyn to just quit, walk away.

  My team on the other hand… I may have made enemies and some may dislike me, but in the end, the desire to annihilate the competition wins out over petty rivalries. And we are winning. Not by a landslide, far from it. I'm sure we’ll pull this one out. Hadley’s defense is slowing down. Miller has taken down his fair share of linemen
today to keep me safe. One of their first stringers went down badly and had to be taken out on a stretcher as a precaution.

  We lose possession in the last three minutes, allowing them to be in position for a field goal. They risk it and tie it up.

  Back in the game, with less than two minutes on the clock, I glance quickly over before the snap and see Ash. She’s turned away from the squad and is cheering wildly. It takes the wayward squad a second to get turned around and catch her fervor. They start cheering for all they're worth, following her lead. Hell, maybe they do like winning after all.

  I chuckle and regain focus, calling for the snap before the play clock runs down. We gain ten yards for the first down. Gotta get us in field goal range at least. I keep us pushing, making sure to run down the clock to our advantage. With fifteen seconds left, Ash has about lost her voice. I grin and point at her. Goof points right back at me.

  She signals for silence from her squad and the Larson fans. In a flash of genius she has them all stomping their feet. The band’s drummers take up the beat. Awesome.

  Screw the stupid field goal. I call a timeout and change the play. The Larson fans are still stomping when I get the snap and Jackson is amazingly wide open. I don’t care what shit he's pulled. Nothing like that affects my game. I have faith this football is hitting its target. The ball spirals beautifully through the air, hitting Jackson squarely. His hands close around it in the end zone, causing the fans to go insane! The stomping has turned into whoops and screams.

  The extra point is good, not that many people care at that point, and the clock runs out.

  Breaking away from the team, I rip my helmet off and run straight to Ashlyn. I lift her off her feet and kiss her soundly. She whispers, “You killed it!” I thank her and walk back onto the field to rejoin the celebration.

  ***

  I've barely walked out of the locker room when Liliana is bounding up to me in a too-short something or other that may pass for acceptable—in a Red Light district. I know she didn’t leave the house like that.

  Rolling my eyes at her unchecked enthusiasm, I ask, “Remember what I told you?”

  “Uh, yeah,” she replies with ample sarcasm. I'm having none of it.

  “Forget it. Tell Mom, ‘cause I'm not taking you.”

  “What the crap, Kiel? No way. Uh-uh. You promised!”

  “No, I was blackmailed,” I counter. “I'm reneging. You can go ahead and rat me out.”

  “Key-uhl!” Lili whines, dragging my name out into two syllables, which I detest. No surer way to lose a fight with me.

  “No, Lili. If you refuse to take me seriously, I cannot and will not help you. Period. You're putting us both in a bad situation.”

  “Fine!” she huffs, crossing her arms as Ashlyn walks up.

  Liliana assesses Ash from head to toe, judging. Smacking my sister’s oh her head in public is bad form, I remind myself. Finally, Lili turns her glare to me and grits out my rules from between clenched teeth. I should’ve recorded the face she made for posterity, it was that ugly.

  “Are you really taking her?” Ashlyn asks, concerned.

  “Mind yourself, h—”

  “Damn it, Lili! Callate. Or you go straight home!”

  “She's talking about me like I'm not standing right here, Key-uhl,” Lili whines.

  “Just go to the car, Lili. Please.” I'm am too freaking tired for her pissy attitude.

  Against my better judgment and pleading looks from Ashlyn, I drive Lili out to the middle of freaking nowhere. I grab her phone to check its signal and battery. Low on both counts. Smacking my head back on the headrest, I hand over mine and keep hers. I don’t even realize how quiet Ashlyn has become beside me.

  ***

  Ashlyn

  The game win leaves everyone riding an adrenaline high. Kiel absolutely kicked butt the field tonight. If there was a scout in the stands during the game, he’ll be getting a visit soon.

  As I'm packing up my stuff, I recall Brisa’s text and start grinning and singing “Love It All.”

  “Aw. You look so happy,” I hear behind me in that distinctive, disingenuous voice.

  “Reyna,” I say tiredly and sigh. “Can we not do this now? I'm open all next week for you to harass. Call me and we can reschedule the insults, huh?”

  She snorts, knowing she has the upper hand with no one else within earshot. I turn to walk off.

  “You know,” she says, “he flirted with me. I guess he wasn’t willing to share me. You know how I'm not ready to settle down. So he settled on you, instead.” Reyna smirks, knowing her words have teeth.

  The way she says it leaves the bite marks she intended. It’s not that I'm gullible; it’s that there’s enough truth, as usual, to her statements to cause doubt to creep in. My brain immediately presents me with a mental image of Kiel flirting with that tramp. Reyna can see she’s hit her mark. She goes in for the kill.

  “He told me you weren’t good enough for him and his family. Oh, I'm sorry! I probably wasn’t supposed to say that.”

  Reyna spins on her heel and walks away, just like that. Like a snake after it strikes that knows the venom took.

  It did. All she has to do is wait.

  ***

  It’s only when I walk up to Kiel and Lili fighting that I realize their plan. Kiel ditching Lili at a kegger can’t possibly have been thought out. I'm aready frazzled by Reyna’s special post-game announcement. Then Lili gives me the once-over like I'm the one in a micro-mini-almost-underwear skirt.

  On the drive to the spot chosen for tonight’s debauchery, my brain is overthinking. I hope to all holy that Reyna was only psyching me out, but nevertheless she’s burrowing her way into my brain like in that Star Trek scene with the earwig. Ew! I need to keep my self-doubt and jealousy in check.

  Because it boils down to those two emotions for these reasons: I'm not good enough and he spoke those personal words to Reyna, who hates me.

  Kiel lets Lili out, trading phones with her. Once he gets himself under control, he turns us back toward town. Without his sister in the car, he realizes that I've turned silent on him.

  “What’s going on, Ash?” he asks.

  “Hmm?” I feign ignorance.

  He isn’t buying it. “Yeah. No. Spit it out. Other than being ticked at me for leaving my sister to the wolves…?”

  I blow loose strands of hair out of my face. Kiel had taken the hard top off and the West Texas wind is making short work of half a bottle of hairspray and all the snap clips in my hair. I sit there, in silence.

  Suddenly, Kiel pulls the Jeep over onto a side road and leans his chair all the way back. He turns his head to watch me. Waiting me out.

  I lean my chair back as well. I gasp at the sight of the wide open Texas sky. It’s cloudless, allowing every star to twinkle to its fullest. It never fails to amaze me, the sheer amount of stars visible out here, in the middle of nowhere. I've seen it often enough and it still gets to me.

  Kiel looks up to see what has me in awe. His eyes widen in shock.

  “Wow,” he whispers, his voice lowering in the solemnity of the moment.

  “Have you ever seen it, Kiel? Like this. Without city lights interfering?”

  “No, never,” Kiel answers softly. “I feel insignificant.”

  “Yeah,” is all I can manage, my eyes moving back to the sky.

  I hear his door whip open and he appears at my side, making me screech. He lifts me out, setting me down only long enough to grab the two towels he had put in the back last weekend. He carries me out to a plowed up field, finding a spot to lay out the towels.

  He sets me on my feet and spreads out the towels. Lying down, he pats the other towel in invitation. My doubts fly out the proverbial window and into the starry night. I lie back, gazing at the myriad constellations, planets, and airplane lights.

  My hand finds Kiel’s in the weak light from the Jeep’s headlights. Kiel rolls to face me after some time passes.

  “You are so beautiful
. The night is so perfect. I couldn’t have planned it better.” Leaning over me, he rains soft kisses all over my face. In the pristine starlight, I forget Reyna’s filth.

  Kiel chuckles, so I ask, “What?”

  “Well, it’s just that most guys have this cheerleader fantasy. And, here you are, in my arms.”

  “Is it your fantasy?” I ask, curious.

  “Never was before this.” He lets his eyes wonder over my body. I grasp his face and drag him to my lips. It’s earth-shattering, the force with which we kiss. One of his hands is gripping my arm while his other arm props him up. Kiel stops and stares at me. We’re locked in this moment for some time, kissing intermittently and watching the sky.

  My Reyna-induced melancholy forgotten.

  Until he breaks the spell by reminding me my parents are probably waiting.

  Chapter 21

  Ashlyn

  My parents are, in fact, waiting for us to show. I hate to lie, but I tell them we were out driving the Larson “strip,” like so many others celebrating the win would be doing.

  “Mom, Dad. Do you mind if Kiel stays for a few hours? Before you go all parental on me…Here,” I say and point to the couch. “Watching TV. Falling asleep, hopefully.” I mumble, yawning in earnest.

  “Right here,” Mom points as well, for emphasis, at the couch.

  “And lamp on,” Dad adds. These two are seriously paranoid. Not that they shouldn’t be…

  “Got it,” I say around a yawn. I see Dad give Kiel the I'm-watching-you glare before my parents both walk out. I leave Kiel on the couch and head to my room where I am finally able to peel this uniform off. I pull on comfy sweats and his navy t-shirt (that I kinda sorta kept).

  I return to the living room and collapse, sitting down between his legs and leaning my head back on his broad chest. Kiel surfs the onscreen guide and finds Star Trek reruns.

  “My love for you just grew exponentially,” I mumble, making his chest shake with quiet laughter. It’s not long before we’re both out cold, his arms wrapped protectively around me.