MINE FOR THE WEEK

by Kelly, Erika

  “But she’s not your type at all.” Her frail chest heaved with rapid, shallow breaths. “God, Ryan, she’s…fat.”

  Ryan grinned. “I think the word you’re looking for is voluptuous.” For the first time, he felt free of Emma, free of the guilt. “Do you have any idea how refreshing it is to be with a woman with no body issues? Come on. I gotta go.”

  “Wait. You can’t dismiss me like this. Six years, Ryan. And years of friendship before that. Can you at least be my friend? You’ve always been there for me.” She reached for him, but he took a step back.

  “Friendly, yes. Friends?” He shook his head. “I already told you that’s not going to work.”

  “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Her voice sounded so faint.

  “Do what?”

  “Live overseas. I’m so lonely. I know it looks like I’m living this crazy life of parties and clubs and magazine shoots, but it’s not like that. I have no one to talk to most days. Yeah, I get invited on trips or out to clubs, but it’s empty. I don’t really have friends. Except you.”

  “Then come home.”

  She perked up. “I’m thinking about that. But come home to what?”

  The hopeful look in her eyes made him uneasy. He had to quash it. “To a fresh start. What do you want to do?”

  “I don’t know. All my friends from home are graduating college this year. They’ve got jobs lined up. If I come home, I’ll have nothing. I’ll live in my parent’s house and have nothing.”

  “You’ve got money. You’ve been working for more than six years.”

  “I don’t have any skills. I don’t have an education. There’s nothing for me besides modeling, and I’d only get catalog work in the States.”

  “Then take the time to figure out what you want to do.”

  “I want to build a life with you, Ryan. I thought my life would be with you. That’s what you led me to believe. That we’d be together.”

  An electrical current skidded across his skin, lifting the hairs at the back of his neck. “What’re you talking about? We never talked about marriage. You were doing your thing, and I was doing mine.”

  “With the assumption we’d wind up together. That when you got drafted, I’d come with you.”

  Holy shit. “We never talked about that.” I never wanted that.

  “We didn’t have to. We’ve been together six years.”

  “Emma, it’s not going to happen. I broke up with you months ago. I’ve moved on.”

  “Bullshit. This is all such bullshit. All this talk—this isn’t you. You don’t just give up because of one mistake. You owe us the chance to see if we can make it.”

  “You know what I owe you? The truth. I don’t love you, Em. I’m not angry that you slept with someone else. You know what I felt when I saw those pictures? Relief. I don’t want to hurt you, and I’m sorry you’re lost, but I’m not your answer. And, as hard as it’s going to be, you’re going to have to figure out your own life. Because it’s not going to be with me.”

  She looked horrified, almost shriveling with each word he said.

  “I can see I’m hurting you now, so I’m going to stop talking.” He took her by the arm and pulled her out of his room. “If they don’t have a room for you here, you’re going to have to find one in town. You can’t stay with me. Not only because I don’t want you to, but because it wouldn’t be right. It would hurt Sophie, and I’ve done enough of that.”

  “My dad is going to hate you.”

  The arrow hit its mark. But it didn’t sting the way he’d feared. “He might. But do you really want me to be with you because I’m worried what your dad will think of me? You deserve better than that.”

  In the past he might press a soft kiss on her cheek. But he didn’t want to do that. He just wanted to go. And so he stepped out of the room, shut the door, and raced to the elevator.

  After covering every square inch of the damn resort and still not finding her, Ryan had had enough. He needed to find her and let her know what she meant to him. He needed to wipe that no out of her head and turn it into a hell yes. He sure as fuck did want to be with her.

  He strode into the dining room, where he found Laura and Kat with a large group. He strode right up to them. “Where is she?”

  “Who’s this?” one of the guys said.

  But Ryan never took his gaze off Laura. She set down her fork. “She left.”

  Reeling back, he scraped a hand through his hair. “Fuck.” People from other tables turned, but Ryan didn’t care. “Where’d she go?”

  “Excuse me.” Laura pushed her chair back and took his elbow, guiding him away from the table. “She left. That’s all I really want to tell you.”

  “What does that mean? All you want to tell me?”

  “Are you serious right now?” And then she leaned into him. “What do you care?”

  The image of Sophie’s face when he’d told her they were done punched him hard in the gut. “Just tell me where she is. I need to talk to her.”

  “Leave her alone. She gets it, okay? She gets that you guys had fun together, and now you both have to get back to your real lives.” Her gaze narrowed. “Let her go.”

  “Not gonna happen. And this isn’t any of your business.”

  She gave a snort. “When my closest friend in the world comes to me at nine in the morning, her world in a million ugly, little pieces, it becomes my problem.”

  “I want to fix it.”

  “Guess what? She fixed herself.” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “So you don’t have to worry about her. You’re free to go on with your life. You two have no future anyway, right? Isn’t that what you told her?” When he didn’t answer, she continued. “I promise you, she’s not a mess. She’s good. In fact, she’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. Leave her like that.”

  “Dammit, Laura, when did she go?”

  Laura looked thoughtful for a moment. “Couple hours ago.”

  “Did she go home?”

  Laura pressed her lips together.

  But he knew. “She went to Montana?” He saw it right away. A flicker of joy, like he’d impressed her. “Where?”

  Laura got right up in his face. “I’m telling you she’s fine. She’s happy, so why would a guy who doesn’t want a relationship with her want to find her and hurt her all over again? Do you even know what you want? Because until you do, stay the hell away from my girl.”

  “Oh, I know. I know exactly what I want.”

  He’d known what he wanted the moment the word no had left his mouth. The second anguish had flashed across Sophie’s features. Even as she’d taken off, he’d known he’d lied to her. Lied in the never-ending effort to keep everyone who’d supported him for so many years happy.

  Standing on his balcony overlooking the ocean, black sky flickering with blazing stars, Ryan knew it was time to go after what he wanted.

  Turning back into his room, he pulled his duffle out of the closet, eager to get going. As he tossed his belongings into the bag, he had a moment of panic when he thought about Sophie somewhere out there in the world thinking he didn’t care enough to be with her.

  He did. And now he’d show her.

  It was too late to get a flight out, of course. Between looking for her and ending things with Emma, he’d wasted the day. But he’d leave first thing in the morning. He knew the ranch was just outside Bozeman. So he’d fly there and then what? Magically find her aunt’s ranch? He didn’t know, but she’d find it hard to ignore him when he texted her from the Bozeman airport. He’d have a day and a half to make it right with her before school started.

  He couldn’t miss school or another game, obviously, so he had to get to her before then.

  His phone buzzed. Soph? He’d left her a dozen texts throughout the day, but she’d ignored them all. Was she finally getting back to him?

  But it wasn’t her. “Hey, Dad, what’s up?”

  “Ryan, when’s your flight back?”<
br />
  “Tomorrow night.” But he’d head to the airport anyhow. He’d take the first standby flight he could get.

  “You’ll need to change your ticket. I’ll have a car waiting for you at JFK.”

  “Actually, I’m going to Montana. But then I have to go straight to Michigan. I’m going to be back on campus and ready to go Monday morning.”

  “No, you’re not.” His dad sounded tired, worn…a little freaked? “Brandon’s in the hospital.”

  The shock of it rang through him. “What happened?”

  “Alcohol poisoning.”

  Ryan dropped onto the edge of the mattress. “Is he all right?”

  “He’s unconscious.”

  What the hell? “What does that mean? Is he at school? Are you at Yale Hospital?”

  “Okay, slow down. I don’t know anything yet. I wasn’t going to call you, but…you should be here.”

  “Of course I’ll be there.”

  “He’s here. In Greenwich. I guess he came home for Parker’s birthday. Look, I’m sure he’ll be all right, but I needed to let you know…in case…”

  In case his brother died.

  His brother.

  “I didn’t see it,” his dad said. “Sure, he drinks. What college kid doesn’t? But this much? I…didn’t see it.”

  “Dad, this isn’t on you.” His dad had talked to them a lot about booze, warning them about a possible genetic predisposition. “He’ll be fine.” But Ryan’s stomach twisted hard, making him sick. Because he didn’t know that at all.

  “I didn’t know he had a problem. Is this normal for him? This much drinking?”

  “I don’t know what’s normal for him.” And in that moment Ryan hated that he didn’t know a damn thing about his brother’s life. He exhaled roughly. “I’ll be on the first flight home. Keep me updated, okay?”

  “Of course.”

  He ended the call and just stood there, letting it sink in. Brandon, lying unconscious in a hospital bed. The image sacked him.

  What a selfish fuck. All those years hiding out in Emma’s family, it hadn’t even occurred to him that he should’ve been taking care of his brother and sister.

  He drew in a deep breath. He had a hell of a lot to make up for.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  When Ryan entered the family room, he found his little sister making out with some big, long-haired dude. The surprise of it had him slamming his shin into the edge of the coffee table.

  At the sound, Nicole jerked away from the guy. Her boyfriend—Dylan, if he recalled—pulled his hand out of her shirt looking a little dazed but not the least bit embarrassed. His sister sat up—never leaving the guy’s lap. “Oh, hey.” She straightened her shirt. “Sorry.”

  One half of the dude’s mouth hitched up in a smile. With an arm around her back and the other under her legs, the guy got up and set Nicole on her feet. He reached a hand to him. “Dylan McCaffrey.”

  “I met you over Christmas break, right?” He gave him a chin nod. “Ryan.”

  The guy didn’t reveal much of anything. Just nodded. “How’s it going?”

  Hadn’t Dylan dumped his sister on New Year’s Eve? He remembered hearing something about it. Guess they’d worked it out. “Better, now that Brandon’s home. That was some scary shit.”

  “It was.” Nicole blew out a breath, and the guy wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her against him.

  That possessive gesture made Ryan ache for Sophie. She’d only responded to one text, when he’d told her about his brother.

  Sorry about your brother. Hope he’s okay.

  Even after he’d told her Brandon had come home, she hadn’t responded. He needed to see her. Too much time was passing. “You guys good? School going okay?”

  Nicole reached for Dylan’s hand. “It’s all right. I think we’re heading back in an hour or so. We just want to make sure Brandon’ll be okay.”

  Ryan nodded. “Looks like he’s fine.”

  “Well, not fine.” Nicole didn’t look pleased with him.

  “Is there a problem?”

  “Of course there’s a problem, Ryan. I just don’t think dad’s going to do anything about it.”

  “What’s he supposed to do?”

  She let out an impatient breath. “Brandon obviously needs help, and Dad’s just going to let him go back to school like nothing happened.”

  He gave a broad smile. “Ah, come on. He’s a junior in college. He’s having fun.”

  “You can’t mean that.”

  Oh, hell. He’d done it again. Flashed the phony smile. He shoved his hands into his pockets when he thought how Sophie would’ve called him out on his shit. “No, you’re right. I don’t mean that.”

  Nicole tilted her head. “I know Brandon has to go back to school for finals, but we have to do something. The next time this happens, he might not get so lucky.” She looked up at Dylan, like the guy hung the moon.

  Dylan squeezed her hand, brought it around his back, then lifted his arm and tucked her under his shoulder. “You want to talk to him before we hit the road?”

  “He’s sleeping.” Ryan had left his brother’s room a few minutes ago.

  “No,” Dylan said. “Your Dad. She’s not going to relax until she gets it off her mind.”

  “Yeah,” Nicole said. “I should probably do that.”

  “Do what?” Brandon came into the room, looking pale and exhausted.

  “Shouldn’t you be resting?” Nicole lurched forward, catching her brother on one side, while Dylan got the other.

  “Guys, I’m fine.” He eased himself onto the couch, stretching his legs out on the coffee table. Brandon shot Ryan an apologetic look. “Sorry you came all the way out here. If I’d known they were going to call you, I’d have told you not to come.”

  “Hard to do when you’re unconscious, though, right?” His sister wasn’t letting up.

  “Hey, now,” Brandon said, but Nicole had already left the room. “You gonna get in trouble with your coach?”

  He flipped on his smile. “Nah.” Wow. Empty words and a fake smile. That’s what he had to give his brother who might’ve died?

  Enough of this bullshit. His whole life his brother and sister had looked at him with so much expectation, but he’d barely acknowledged them. He’d been so wrapped up in baseball and school and…yeah. Excuses.

  He couldn’t change what he’d done, but he could be a different brother from now on. “Actually, I’m screwed.”

  Nicole returned with a glass of water. She stopped and stared at him. “For missing one day?” She pushed the glass at Brandon. “You have to stay hydrated.”

  “I bailed on the whole week.”

  She sat down on the couch. “I thought you had a big tournament in Florida? Weren’t the scouts supposed to see you play?”

  He looked at his sister a little too long. She paid attention to his life, and he didn’t know a damn thing about hers. He’d fix that. “I needed a break.”

  “Now?” Brandon choked on his water. “You needed a break now? When the scouts were coming to watch you? What the hell?”

  “Yeah, well, like I said I screwed up.”

  Brandon looked concerned. “Gotta tell you, man. This isn’t like you. You never screw up.”

  His mind quickly processed a way to spin the story, but before he could spew more bullshit, he shut it down. Not doing that anymore. “Yeah, I know. I think, uh…” Just say it. Be real with them for once in your life. “I guess I got all my screwing-up out of my system as a kid.”

  “What do you mean?” Nicole looked confused.

  “You were too young to remember, but I pretty much drove Mom crazy.”

  “Everything drove Mom crazy,” Nicole said. “She’s an alcoholic.”

  “Yeah, but instead of leaving her alone, I made it worse. I challenged her all the time.” With his thumb and forefinger, he rubbed his jaw. “And I guess I always felt pretty crappy that it was because of me that Dad kicked her out of the house. I
screwed things up for you guys.”

  Nicole watched him steadily, but Brandon looked shocked. And then his sister got up and came closer to him. “You do realize divorce was the best thing that could’ve happened to us, right? So, if you’re feeling some kind of guilt or whatever, you can just let it go right now.”

  And right then he regretted missing out on knowing his sister. Because she was pretty cool. No drama, no theatrics. Just calm, collected. Real.

  “I lived with her,” Nicole said. “So I can tell you she didn’t want to change. You guys stopped visiting her, but I didn’t. I couldn’t stand the idea of, you know, abandoning her. But then I figured out that she didn’t want us around. She wanted to be left alone with her disease. It’s not your fault.”

  “Yeah, but…I don’t know. I feel bad about it.” He blew out a breath. “I wish I’d been a better brother to you.”

  “What does any of this have to do with you blowing off the scouts?” Brandon brought the glass to his mouth and chugged the water.

  Ryan noticed neither one addressed his apology. But then what could they say? He had been a shitty brother. “I don’t know. I’ve been restless. Just kind of fucked up the past few months.”

  “Is it because Emma cheated?” Nicole said.

  “No. It’s because I’m goddamn tired of training and watching what I eat and…just missing out on life. I’m sick of working so hard trying to keep everyone happy.”

  “Well, they made you that way.” Nicole leaned back into Dylan. “We had to be on our best behavior or it was screaming chaos.”

  “Nah,” Brandon said. “That’s not what it was. Dad sent mom away.” He gave a chin nod toward their sister. “Sent Nic away, too. That’s when you changed. Shut down. Probably thought, if you didn’t, you’d get sent away, too.”

  Nicole looked pensive for a moment. “He’s right. You did change. You became…well, you know, perfect.” She smiled and whacked Brandon with the back of her hand. “Pretty deep for a bro.”

  “Ryan got his act together because of baseball.” Their dad stood in the doorway, bottle of water in his hand. He tipped it toward Brandon. “What’re you doing out of bed?”

  “And look at that,” Brandon said. “An O’Donnell family reunion. I should get hospitalized more often.”