Hatsukoi. (Lesbian Erotic Romance) (Ren'Ai Rensai)

by Hildred Billings

  “I know for a fact you were plenty wet before I came.”

  “Not on my hand! Mou, where’s a towel.”

  Reina told her to use the abandoned sweater, which worked two-fold: Michiko got to stop complaining, and Reina got to watch her own aieki get slathered all over her clothing. Mother will love washing that, I’m sure.

  Michiko tackled her for some playful kisses. They swapped more fluids before Michiko slipped off and threw her sweater back on, covering her round breasts and likewise setting the sun on Reina’s visual gratification.

  “It’s still raining,” Michiko noted as she sat next to the window and lit a cigarette. Her hair was tousled, and her thighs still gleamed, but she smoked as if nothing about her body shouted, “Fucked by Reina Yamada.” Reina wanted to bring her back over for one more round of humping and licking so she could keep admiring her own handiwork. I dare another woman to put her away wet like I do.

  The air outside the comforter had a bite to it, although Reina’s space heater pumped enough gas to power the whole house. She braved the cold to search through her clothes for a new outfit since the old one was now a hand rag.

  She put on clean underwear and a black sweatshirt, but forewent socks or even pants – her bare legs stung, but not enough to dissuade her. Reina picked up her hairbrush and wandered toward the window, attacking the snarls made from sex.

  “See?” Michiko put a finger on the glass. “Still raining.”

  Reina stopped brushing long enough to look outside. The dismal gray clouds settled over the landscape like a wet blanket, wringing itself so the rain came in spurts. Just like me. Reina hid her smile behind her hairbrush.

  “Oh, by the way, that little femme cousin of Shizuka’s really likes you.”

  The way Michiko said it was so matter-of-fact, as if they had been talking about Aiko since the beginning of that afternoon’s fuck-fest. Reina lowered her hairbrush. “What’s she got to do with anything?”

  Michiko swung out of the windowsill and stuck her chest out. “I said she likes you! Weren’t you listening? Or are you just staring at my pussy?”

  Averting her eyes, Reina huffed and tossed her hairbrush onto her futon. “So? Am I supposed to be excited about that?” Lots of girls “liked” Reina. They liked her attitude, her speaking style, and her haughty flirtations. And sometimes they even liked her kisses, her caresses, and her ability to make them praise the ceiling. What they didn’t like was associating with her in public, or even acknowledging her existence after said praising.

  Michiko took Reina’s hand. “If you weren’t so hung over yesterday, you would’ve seen how willing she was to give a girl a go.” Their fingers locked together.

  “And? Did you fuck her?”

  That cheeky grin on Michiko’s face usually meant “Of course I did,” but instead she said, “No. I was going to kiss her, maybe feel her up a little to get her brain buzzing, but then you’ll never guess what she did.”

  “What?”

  “She said your name.”

  Reina loosened her fingers and took a step back. “Maybe she had our names mixed up. She barely knows us.”

  “I doubt it.” Michiko tugged on Reina’s sweatshirt, pulling her close again. “I think she likes you. You should ask her out.”

  “Why? I mean, even if she likes me…why?”

  “Why not?”

  “Because all those girls are the same. You know that.”

  Michiko’s hand curved down Reina’s hip and stopped on her rear, fondling her. “Maybe she’s different.”

  “And maybe I’ll grow a cock and fuck you like a real man.” She could already orgasm like one, so why not? “Sorry.”

  But Michiko’s smile didn’t fade, nor did her hand lessen its grip. “Don’t be. If you grew a cock, I would let you fuck me.”

  “Well, I have one…sort of.” Under lock and key so Mother will never find it. “Should I get it out?” Reina wanted more practice with that apparatus, but Michiko was the only one who offered to help. Sometimes.

  “Maybe later.” Michiko pulled Reina closer, until stomach rubbed against chin. “I’m still recovering from that last one.”

  Reina dug her hands into Michiko’s soft hair. The rain continued at a steady pace, in time to the music still playing in the far background of the room. Ask her out, huh. Somewhere in the horizon of that city, some little good girl hid fantasies of other women while continuing with her grotesquely dull straight life. Every once in a while Reina indulged such a girl in her fantasies, but it never ended in anything but crawling back to Michiko, the rock in her otherwise swaying life. I should be asking her to be my girlfriend. But she always said no.

  Reina wondered if Aiko would say yes.

  The chance to ask came the following night, after another rigorous practice with the usual bullshit from the manager and the theater president. Both men sat the girl group down and told them upfront, “We need more hip action from the lot of you, because our male clientele don’t come here to hear you sing. They want more sex appeal, especially from you foreigners. Now, if you impress me at this weekend’s show, I might just give you some studio time.” As if that were supposed to inspire somebody like Reina.

  She slumped down at her dressing table, her mascara rolling away and a pack of cigarettes enticing her. But the manager had also criticized her smoking habit, telling her that, as one of the lead singers, she should take better care of her voice. Of course, Michiko was allowed to keep smoking, and so could Shizuka, and even Anna, the other foreigner and lead singer, who threw the biggest stink when the manager dared to imply she stop smoking. Reina could still hear the English shrieks in the back of her ringing head.

  The manager didn’t seem to care about the extra stragglers hanging around as of late, however. Shizuka didn’t usually smuggle her friends and family members in for a chat until well after practice, when Anna was long gone and unable to complain. That night Aiko tiptoed in, her voice pealing in greetings. Reina continued to sit at her dresser, despondent.

  I was going to ask her out. What was the point? Reina stared at her pack of cigarettes, wondering if she could get a quick one in before the manager reappeared. Cigarettes and women will be the end of me. God willing.

  She turned in her seat and let her eyes wander the room, settling on the charming sight of Shizuka and Michiko, still in their performance garb, teasing and chatting with Aiko. The girl wore her hair down again, although Reina questioned the odd choice of a long skirt in the middle of December. Every time Michiko made a gentle pass at Aiko, she would nod in some sort of affirmation. Reina couldn’t hear what they said aside from a couple laughs and curses, but she knew Michiko’s game when she saw it: light touches, friendly compliments, and timed tosses of her hair. Reina wanted her, again.

  But it was impossible, since Reina had to get home by nine to deliver dinner to her hard-working mother. So she contented herself with a look-over at Michiko’s slight curves, her bright personality, and the way her pink dress illuminated her skin. Almost enough to appease Reina.

  Something Michiko said incited laughter in Aiko: her mouth opened so wide she lifted her hand to cover it, and her eyes squeezed shut in further frivolity. She’s cute. Most girls were cute. Reina liked her lovers feminine, and although Aiko was the cute side of femme…well, she knew plenty of girls like that, too.

  And then Aiko stopped laughing, her eyes opening and meeting Reina’s across the room. In that second a chill entered her bones, the kind she hadn’t felt since she first met Michiko and experienced the warmth she had spent half her life searching for.

  Her? Aiko was the epitome of everything Reina hated about the dating world – feminine girls swooping through the lesbian sphere, dating die-hard dykes for a quick week before dumping them for a husband and two kids. And I bet she’s a virgin. They were the worst. Reina wanted to jump into bed (or a broom closet) and fuck, not coddle somebody who didn’t even know what a clitoris was.

  Aiko flashed a smile at
Reina. Apparently she really likes me. What Reina did with that information…

  She stood and marched up to Aiko like a bitter wife about to accuse her husband of adultery. Aiko’s face fell at the imposition, and for a second Reina thought she had lost the little femme girl for good – even Michiko stared at Reina as if she had just sprouted a second head.

  But Reina couldn’t think of any of that, not now, not like this. She put her hands on her hips and towered over Aiko, a far cry from her usual flirtatious self.

  “You,” she said. “You and me. Thursday. Ice cream.” Ice cream?

  “O…okay,” Aiko squeaked.

  “Okay?”

  “Okay?” Shizuka smacked Reina on the shoulder. “Don’t ask my cousin out!”

  She kept her eyes on Aiko, waiting for a negative reaction. When she smiled a little again, Reina knew she had a date. “Good. Meet me at the station here Thursday at three.” She turned and excused herself to the bathroom without saying another word about the “date” to anyone. Let’s see where she stands when the heat turns up. Reina guessed Aiko would flounder and run – a piece of her hoped she wouldn’t.

  The foul stench of burning baked goods exploded around the Takeuchi house while Aiko agonized over her wardrobe again. As soon as the smell hit her nostrils, however, she rushed downstairs and bounded into the kitchen to see a small stream of smoke coming out of the oven.

  “Ara!” She grabbed an oven mitt and pulled down the door, smoke swirling and cookies burning. Swallowing her lump of failure, Aiko diffused the situation before her mother’s kitchen caught on fire. She whimpered over her tray of burnt cookies.

  Awful! Nobody can eat these! The cookies were black on the circumference, although the centers remained a crispy brown. The chocolate chips stuffed inside looked like rocks. She had to pry the burnt cookies off the sheet eventually, but the image of their undersides soot black made tears come down her cheeks.

  The sole consolation from this debacle was that it was the last batch of cookies, and the ones before it were more along the lines of her celebrated baking skills. But how could she give away only six cookies? “Here you go! Six cookies! Because you’re only worth a half dozen.” Aiko buried her face in a rag and mopped up her silly tears. What would she do with the others?

  “Ehh? Nani sore no?” Footsteps padded from the front door. Within another blink, Junko was at the entryway, still wearing her winter coat and carrying a bag full of vegetables. “Ai-chan! What is this? What happened here? It smells like you slaughtered a chocolate factory!”

  “I’m sorry!” Aiko sniffed the last of her tears and braced herself for a further scolding. Although it was Junko’s kitchen, Aiko had free reign to bake when her mother wasn’t around. Since she spent lunchtime visiting a friend and shopping for dinner groceries, Aiko helped herself to one of the only ovens in the neighborhood. But now Reina will think she’s only worth a half dozen.

  Junko took the spatula and prodded the tray of burnt cookies, turning her nose at the sight of black. “Bah. Don’t worry about this. But why are you baking cookies? Study group?”

  “Hm.” Aiko thought about lying, but with the winter holidays coming and one more day of classes before the new year, Junko would see through it. “Actually, I have a date this afternoon.”

  “A date! How is this? Who is it with?” Junko plopped her bag of vegetables on the counter. “Eh, is it with Daisuke?” Her grin was too cheery.

  Another lie would have sufficed here as well, but the likelihood of getting away with saying “Yes, Daisuke,” was slimmer than saying “Yes, study group.” Besides, did Aiko want to encourage this strange infatuation? Who’s supposedly dating him, anyway?

  So she said, “No, not Daisuke. Somebody else. A first date.” The rag went over Aiko’s face again, hiding her embarrassment and any strange hints. “So you see my problem.”

  “A first date!” Junko fanned herself, as if it were summer and not the coming of winter. “Who with? Do I know him? Is he from school?”

  Until that point Aiko hadn’t considered what to say about Reina. She was still too giddy over being asked out to comprehend her precarious situation.

  “No, this person is not from school.” Did she forget I go to a women’s college? “They are a friend of Shi-chan’s, from her job. I met this person when I went to visit the theater.”

  “Eh? Hontou ni? Hm. Well, be careful. Who knows what kind of man comes from such a place. Oh, no, he isn’t old is he?”

  Aiko laughed, lowering her towel. “No. This person is the same age as me almost. High school graduate. Maybe applying to college.” She didn’t know that last part, but Tomoko’s assertion she recognized Reina from high school implied at least a secondary education.

  Junko now took to cleaning the burnt cookies and the pan they stuck to. “Well, okay. But be careful. And don’t let him take advantage of you. And if you go on another date, I want to meet him.” She sniffed with finality.

  “Hai.” Aiko looked at the back of her mother’s head, bobbing up and down while she scrubbed off cookie debris as if she were scrubbing away all the bad boys from her daughter’s life. “Anyway, I have to go soon.”

  “And if this date with this boy doesn’t work out so well, don’t forget Daisuke is nice.”

  A rock sank to the bottom of Aiko’s stomach with the coming of her mother’s words. As she took the tray of decent cookies and went to wrap them up, she fought the infection, now living inside her head, telling her to shout at her mother, “Forget Daisuke! What use is a man to me? I’m off to date a girl!”

  Instead, Aiko nodded and went upstairs to finish getting ready.

  * * *

  She was the first to arrive at the station, although it did not surprise her. Reina-san doesn’t seem the type to be early or on time. Nor did Reina show up for another ten minutes, relegating Aiko to sit outside on a bench, package of cookies in her lap. Had Reina been a boy, Aiko may have huffed and pouted over this treatment, but since it was not rainy she decided to let it slide. Just this once.

  People came and went from the station, many of them old women shopping and salarymen pushing past, but the occasional couple ambled by, whispering to each other. Of course, Aiko noticed them as men and women, holding hands and carrying each other’s items as if it were their genuine inclination. Aiko had tried that before with her boyfriend, but her whispers were forced and her steps one trip after another as she faked contentment. I’ve never realized how listless I was then. But these girls going by appeared happy, with their timid smiles and warm nuzzles against their boyfriends’ shoulders. Aiko had just gone through those same motions, but they never meant a thing.

  How would it be different with another woman?

  She held her cookies closer to her sweater and watched women pass by. Girls her age either traveled in packs or alone, hardly ever in a quiet pair. The usual groups of friends, the usual student flitting between home and school…but then there was one duo, standing near each other with pleasant countenances. They pointed to things and spoke to one another when something amusing popped up. Although they did not touch, Aiko saw a close bond between them, and decided they were a “real couple” – a thought she never had before meeting her cousin’s coworkers.

  “Osu.”

  Aiko snapped her head around; Reina stood a meter away. Her feminine figure and garb betrayed her use of a coarse, masculine word: Aiko’s eyes darted between the same jeans and blue sweater Reina wore before, combined with blue and white sneakers and a black wool cap sitting sideways on her head. Aiko noticed the heavy eyeliner she once complimented. I thought she said she doesn’t like wearing make-up outside of work…did she put it on for me?

  She realized she hadn’t spoken. “Oh, konnichiwa.” Aiko bowed her head. She then scurried up, still clutching the bag of cookies to her chest. “I was wondering if maybe I had the wrong place.”

  “What? No. I was waiting for you out of the north exit. I’ve been here for almost twenty minutes.”<
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  A sting pricked Aiko’s eyes. “Oh, really? I’m sorry. We always came out of this exit and…here!” She shoved the cookies toward Reina. “I made these.”

  “Huh?” Reina’s tight stance softened as she took the bag. “What’s this?”

  “They’re cookies. I hope you like them.”

  “Ah! Baking for me?” Reina untied the ribbon and peered inside the bag. “Nobody’s baked me shit in eons.”

  Aiko couldn’t say anything, so she grinned at the ground instead.

  “Well, come on.” Reina whacked her on the shoulder. “I don’t have all damn day. Let’s go get some ice cream.”

  Aiko followed, although she waffled between trailing behind Reina and walking beside her. They went to a small restaurant stand on the corner of the sidewalk, where Reina insisted on paying for both ice creams. Aiko didn’t have the heart to tell Reina she didn’t care for strawberries upon receiving a random selection.

  They sat at a picnic table beneath an awning. Aiko attempted to eat her treat, aware of Reina’s glares from across the table. This wasn’t a date so much as it was an impending interrogation.

  “Ano,” Aiko began, “you look really pretty today.”

  When Reina raised her eyebrows, her mascara made her look like a scared raccoon. “‘Pretty’, eh? That’s a loaded word.”

  “I’m…sorry?”

  Reina shrugged. “I don’t think people really consider the meaning of that word. Its history, its connotation…what does ‘pretty’ mean, anyway?”

  A stream of ice cream melted onto the tip of Aiko’s fingertip. When she held it up to her mouth to lick away, Reina studied her like a coach searching for wasted movement. “I guess ‘pretty’ means something that looks pleasing. Nice?” She turned her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”

  “Nobody really thinks. Not when it comes to women.”

  “I suppose so.” Aiko had no idea what Reina meant. Is she a philosophy student? “I just mean…I like the way you look.”