Hatsukoi. (Lesbian Erotic Romance) (Ren'Ai Rensai)

by Hildred Billings

  “And I’m sure you’d be orgasmic. But no, just wondering. It’s good to know you’re keeping your reputation going.”

  The heavy earrings clanked against the dresser. “Hell, forget those nobodies. I’ve been busy enough in hotels as it is.” She would have to talk to Aiko about that at some point. Hotels were expensive.

  “Is that so? With whom? You got some benefactor again?”

  What does she mean ‘again?’ One time an older woman set up rendezvous at a proper hotel for Reina to come and fuck her, but she wouldn’t call her a benefactor. That makes me sound like a prostitute. “No. Just the girl I’ve been dating for almost a month now. She’s gotten quite into the whole lesbian sex thing.”

  Michiko’s breath sucked in through her teeth. “Ohoho! Still bangin’ the little good girl, eh?” Her voice bounced around the empty backstage area.

  “Shh!” Reina gestured toward Shizuka in the corner trying on new costumes.

  “You mean she still doesn’t know you’re fucking her little cousin?” She went from amused to exhausted in less than a second. “You’re going to ruin that girl’s life.”

  “She doesn’t seem to mind.”

  Michiko continued to shake her head. “Whatever. I should convince myself it’s none of my business, but it will be once you break that girl’s heart and Shizuka kills you.”

  Reina was too fatigued to keep the argument going. In the end, it didn’t matter what Michiko thought, or what Shizuka cared about. They were right – it was Reina’s life, and if she wanted to screw a willing woman, it was her damn right. No doubt Shizuka would rip the head right off Reina’s body should her relationship with Aiko ever come to light…why did Michiko think it was still a secret, anyway? Well, not a secret to anyone in Ni-chome. Reina had heard the rumors over the holidays. The one woman Reina had constantly been seen next to over the years was Michiko, so a new puppy toddling around sent a shockwave of whispers throughout the lesbian community. We’re gonna be in the next newsletter.

  Thankfully, Michiko became disinterested in Reina’s love life and wandered off. So long as she wasn’t tattling to Shizuka, everything was fine. Reina brushed her hair and thought about Aiko’s invitation to her house that weekend. She stared at the back of her hairbrush and considered smashing it onto her face.

  Michiko flittered around the room, picking up her purse and saying her goodbyes to the staff people and other coworkers. Reina jumped out of her seat and followed to the rear entrance. “Oi! Mi-chan!”

  “Nani?” Michiko glared at Reina over her shoulder. “Forget something?”

  Reina replaced her frown with a smile. “What are you doing tonight? Nothing? Good. You should come home with me.”

  “Actually, I’m meeting somebody else.” Michiko looked at her watch. “Right now. Sorry.”

  “Huh? Who are you meeting?”

  She pursed her lips, as if that would keep her from having to answer. “I have other friends, you know.” Michiko kept her countenance friendly, but a bite laced her voice. “And some of those friends really need to talk to me about something. Sorry, but I can’t hang out with you tonight.” She patted Reina’s cheek. “I’ll see you for your Coming of Age Ceremony, okay? Oyasumi.”

  “Yeah, good night.” Reina watched Michiko bound out the rear entrance, the cold night swallowing her whole.

  Two minutes later, a shout pierced Reina’s skull.

  She ran out the door and looked around the alley. Her eyes took too long to adjust to the bleak darkness, and by the time she could see again, the chill settled into her bones.

  But Reina couldn’t care, because two shadows altercated at the back of the alley, the one cowering before the other a definite outline of Michiko’s feminine figure. Reina forced herself forward but was met with a pair of apologetic palms.

  “Daijyoubu!” Michiko strayed from the light of a nearby lamppost, as if it would poison her shadow. “I’m okay!” Her hands continued to wave in front of Reina. The other figure didn’t move.

  “What happened?” Reina watched the other person, a woman, tall and thinner than herself. I’ve seen her before. Even in darkness Reina recognized the stance of one of Michiko’s other friends, the one she was sure was responsible for the drugs.

  “It’s nothing!” Michiko threw her hands in front of her face so Reina couldn’t see the red underneath. “I fell down, that’s all.”

  Reina’s head whipped between her friend and the other “friend.” Said woman did not bother to flinch or even defend herself, aside from giving a curt and heavily accented, “She’s fine. Don’t worry about her. I’ll take care of her.” The woman extended a bony hand and took one of Michiko’s. A future bruise swelled beneath one of her eyes.

  Fell down? My ass! But what could Reina do? If Michiko wanted to lie, that was her prerogative. “Be careful, Mi-chan.” She stepped forward and hugged her.

  All attempts to return the hug were moot since Michiko’s hand was locked in another’s. Reina mumbled an offer to kick somebody’s ass on her behalf, but she said, “No. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  What about you? Reina shot the dirtiest look she could muster to the other woman, who yanked Michiko’s arm so hard a bone popped. “Ikou,” the woman grunted, and Michiko followed her, like a grateful dog.

  “Bye, Reina! I’ll see you Friday!”

  Reina dawdled out in the alley until she could no longer see one woman hauling another toward the next neighborhood. Something burned inside her throat, keeping the cold at bay and her teeth gnashed together. All the bile in her stomach conglomerated and threatened to come up.

  She wanted to beat the shit out of that other woman. “I don’t want you to get hurt.” Watching Michiko being yanked away on a leash was like having her ripped right from the heart. Maybe it would be worth getting beat up over if it meant saving her from her “friends.”

  Reina took one step forward…then one step back. Those backwards steps turned into a trot down the alley and into the warmth of the theater. Easier to face her cowardice in the light.

  Amidst the surging crowds of women in furisode and men in formal suits, Aiko was convinced she would never find Reina. It took a full twenty minutes of coaxing the night before to get her to divulge what ward she lived in so Aiko could show up at the local municipal office in time for the Coming of Age Day ceremony. I wonder if Reina is wearing a furisode. The formal kimono would look beautiful with Reina’s bold features and long hair.

  However, many other twenty-year-old women shuffled around in their colorful robes, posing for pictures with friends and family before heading into the municipal office to hear the local mayor give a speech about the responsibilities of adulthood. Aiko had heard it four times before with each of her siblings, and would hear it again next year when it was her turn. But today it was for Reina, and all Aiko wanted to do was find her.

  When she did recognize her, standing by herself next to a speaker, she had to double-take. The Reina she saw was not the Reina she knew, dated, and made love to: she wore a dark blue furisode, printed with green vines and trimmed with a large, white stole. Because the stole would have obstructed the natural fall of her hair, she had put it up into a high ponytail topped with an ornate, silver pin. This would probably be the most feminine Aiko would ever see her.

  Hence, she held back, afraid to approach and ruin the heart-stopping image.

  Reina ruined it herself when she yawned. She lowered her hand and looked straight at Aiko, her face paling in the already overcast January day.

  “Ah, Reina!” Aiko slipped forward as if she had never waited at all. “I’m so glad I found you! There are so many people here.”

  In public, Aiko did not dare hang too close to Reina, even though she wanted nothing more than to hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek. I’ve never kissed a woman in a kimono before. But Reina extended her freezing hands and buried them into the collar of Aiko’s jacket. “I’m surprised you came. I thought you were joking last night when you
asked what ward I live in.”

  “Of course I wasn’t joking! Why would I joke about a thing like that?” Aiko smoothed out Reina’s stole.

  “Don’t you have other friends to go hang out with today?”

  “No. I don’t know anybody turning twenty recently.” Except Daisuke. He was a year older than Aiko, and probably dressed up in front of his municipal office somewhere on the other side of the city. “They’re all older or my age. I wanted to see you in a furisode! You’re so beautiful.”

  A blush flashed across Reina’s cheek. “Uh, thank you. I normally don’t wear things like these.”

  “Is it yours?”

  “Of course not. My mother rented it for me. She said it was my Coming of Age present.”

  “Is your mother here somewhere?” Aiko glanced around, expecting to see an older version of Reina popping out from a bush at any moment.

  Reina stiffened. “No. She’s working really late this week, so she’s at home asleep.” A shrug loosened her up again. “I was alone until you showed up here.”

  “And me!”

  They turned their heads to see Michiko run up, camera in hand. “Mi-chan!” Reina let go of Aiko’s jacket and waved. “I was waiting for you!”

  “Gomen, gomen,” Michiko apologized. “I overslept a little. Oh, good morning, Aiko.”

  “Good morning.” Another wave, and Aiko had fulfilled her polite duty. “Doesn’t Reina look beautiful today?”

  Michiko looked Reina up and down with a grin. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a kimono before. You look weird.” When she bent to inspect Reina’s sash, Aiko caught a glimpse of a bandage beneath an eye. Did she cut herself? A bad pimple? Either one was possible. “Now pose so I can take a picture for posterity.”

  At the sight of Michiko’s camera, Reina balked and attempted to shy away. Unlucky for her, Aiko was close by, and she took her by the arm and pointed her toward the camera. “Yes, you should get a picture for your mother! She should see you in this beautiful furisode.”

  Aiko stepped out of the way so Michiko could take a solo photo of Reina in her rental robes. For the first picture Reina bore her teeth in a mock smile, and in the second she threw a more natural peace sign. Aiko laughed, prompting Michiko to ask her to get into a picture.

  “Yeah, suffer with me.” Reina grabbed Aiko’s arm and pulled her into a half embrace.

  “Say cheese.” Michiko waited for both subjects to throw up their peace signs, heads touching.

  Aiko offered to take one of Reina and Michiko together, and after that was accomplished they found a ledge to sit on and wait for the speech to begin. Not long to idle, since everyone was late arriving. The speakers blasted into life at the sound of the mayor’s voice, and the other happy young men and women hustled about until they found an appropriate place to sit and wait.

  The speech was no different than any other Coming of Age fare. The mayor implored the new adults to responsibly go forth with their lives as Japanese citizens. Right after that piece of stock bullshit, Aiko tuned him out and kept her eyes on Reina, a hand sneaking beneath one of the large sleeves of her robe in order to caress her fingers. She thought she saw Michiko glimpse at them, but she said nothing and left Aiko to her subtle flirting.

  The crowd clapped and shouted when the mayor finished his spiel. Cries of “Let’s get drunk!” filled the air alongside slapping sandals and the rustle of robes in motion. Reina leaned in to whisper something into Michiko’s ear: they both laughed, and for a moment a tinge of isolation took Aiko, until she realized Reina’s hand was still wrapped around her own.

  When the last of the hordes filtered into the streets, Michiko suggested they go get brunch and a drink. Reina hopped to her feet so fast she dropped Aiko’s hand.

  “Youshi!” Reina’s arms rotated like a rower plowing for the finish line. Was she drunk already? “I want sake!”

  Aiko checked her watch – although she knew her older siblings indulged in some alcohol after their ceremonies, she didn’t recall any of them getting drunk before noon. “It’s still pretty early…do you really think you should have alcohol right now?”

  They both glanced at one another before cracking up like toppled eggs. “Don’t worry.” Michiko patted Aiko on the arm. “We’ll just have a beer.”

  “She’s only nineteen. It might be troublesome.”

  The look of “it can’t be helped” on Reina was too much to take responsibility for. “It’s okay. I don’t want alcohol. I’ll just have juice.”

  “Calm down, it’s not like we were gonna leave you behind.” Reina gave a half-hearted tug to Aiko’s hair.

  With that the decision sprang to go to a restaurant on the other side of the neighborhood, where they hoped all the other new adults hadn’t already converged. Walking beside Reina in her clumsy Japanese sandals made the trip take twice as long, and more than once she had to stop to rub her toes and bemoan the cold and how hard being an adult already was. On the surface Aiko had no sympathy, but deep in her soul she wanted to kiss Reina and find a new way to keep her warm. Too bad they were in public.

  They had to settle on a hole-in-the-wall restaurant if they wanted to eat lunch before the hour was over. At least the hole was very much a hole, with one medium-sized group of girls in rainbow-colored furisode dominating the center table. A hostess took one look at Reina and made the wise choice to seat the trio in the far corner.

  Michiko ordered two beers, an orange juice, and three lunch specials for everyone. The drinks came not even a minute later, the beers golden and frothy while the orange juice had a childish pink and white straw poking out of it. Aiko wanted to hide beneath the table, lest everyone in the restaurant think she was twelve, but reminded herself that Michiko was the same age as her and drinking illegally. But she’s pretty and foreign, so she can get away with it.

  “Jya, kanpai!” Michiko clinked her beer against Reina’s in a toast to adulthood. “Now you’re officially old and decrepit! I’m going to start calling you ‘Auntie Reina.’”

  Reina pushed her glass forward with an incoherent spill from her mouth. Aiko joined in the toast, and the three of them chorused “Kanpai!” before taking a drink from their glasses – Aiko tossed her straw onto the table and pretended her juice was full of alcohol.

  “Kyaa! I need to pee!” Reina shuffled out of her chair and waddled toward the restrooms. “I might be a few minutes wearing this thing.” The group of women at the other table laughed at her outburst.

  Alone with Michiko, Aiko tried more than once to start a conversation, but everything came out of her mouth as a whimper. She had no idea why. Because the last time we were alone together, she rebuffed me. Michiko didn’t seem like she would look down on someone for that fact, but all Aiko could think about was that almost-kiss in the karaoke booth. Where I kissed a woman for the first time, but it was Reina.

  Michiko cleared her throat. “How are you?”

  Aiko had to laugh. Here she was, trying to start a million different conversations, and all Michiko needed was commonplace talk. “I’m fine. And you, Michiko-san?”

  “Oh, please, I told you not to call me that.” Michiko pulled a pen out of her purse and doodled on her napkin, the top tip stopping to scratch her bandage.

  “I’m sorry. It’s habit, you know. By the way, what happened to your face there?” Aiko hid behind her orange juice.

  “This? It’s nothing. I just got a little clumsy the other night.”

  But when Michiko stopped talking, a frown appeared between her brows and lips. I should apologize. None of Aiko’s business. I got too friendly. Just because Michiko said she could drop the formalities. Everyone gets a cut on their face sometimes. Where was Reina to save her from this humiliation?

  Michiko went back to doodling. “How’s life as a lesbian?”

  She said it so candidly! Aiko’s tongue hovered inside her juice, and suddenly her brain was transported to a love hotel room, where her tongue was shoved into something else wet and tangy
. All Aiko could do was dart her eyes around the room and make sure none of the servers or other patrons in the restaurant gave a damn about their conversation. “I…uh…I don’t know about that?”

  “Know about what?” Michiko’s voice remained as smooth as Reina’s skin. “From what Reina tells me, you two have gotten pretty…ah, intense.”

  We have sex! Intense sex, true. But to somebody like Aiko, all sex was “intense.” For all she knew, Reina thought sex together was just another thing to do during her day. “We’re friends. We do things that Reina likes to do with her friends.”

  “Ha!” Michiko nearly dropped her pen. “That’s a great way to put it. Things she does with her friends. How true. Nee, Ai-chan.” She looked up. “You know that Reina has a few friends, right?”

  Including you? “Of course I do. She’s explained it to me.”

  “Really? That’s good. I’m glad you understand her. She’s had a couple girlfriends before who couldn’t handle her need to fuck everyone.”

  “We’re not in a relationship like that. Reina explained that to me as well.”

  Michiko made eye contact. “How practical of her.” She put her pen down. “How do you feel about that?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Reina’s probably never gonna commit to you, or anyone for that matter. Asking her to be monogamous would be like asking her to kill herself. There aren’t many girls out there who could handle that kind of relationship.” Michiko grimaced. “No matter how good the sex is.”

  Aiko wallowed in her memories of Reina, sexual and kind. As the dates wore on, Aiko became more and more used to the feeling of having Reina on top of her and giving her joy. Could she do that with another person? Even another woman? Aiko wrung her hands together on top of the table and imagined one of the other women in furisode, a tall woman wearing orange, coming up to her and asking her out like Reina had a month before. Probably not. Her husky voice and dark features made Aiko dissolve inside – yes, in all those places – but other women were just that.

  “I’m taking things as they come.” She maintained a neutral expression. “True, this is my first time with another woman, but it’s not my first in general and I like to think I know some things about relationships.” I know nothing.