Hatsukoi. (Lesbian Erotic Romance) (Ren'Ai Rensai)

by Hildred Billings

  “Honestly, it’s not even that interesting.” She picked up the comic book. “I got these in high school because I thought maybe there would be interesting sex positions in them, but nothing I’d never seen before.” She threw it at Aiko’s chest. “So useless.”

  Aiko tried looking at the pictures again, but was too embarrassed to read porn even in front of Reina. The last thing she saw was a young woman with her legs over her head while another woman jammed her fingers into a graphic depiction of shaved genitals. “You know a lot about sex, Reina-chan.” Aiko knew only what she was taught.

  “Hm? Do I?” Reina got up and grabbed a half-empty bag of potato chips from her dresser. She bit into one chip and puckered at the staleness – forging on with eating the remainder of the bag, she said, “Sex isn’t some mystery, you know. Most people in the world do it, and they’re always looking for new ways to do it. Me, I guess I just like discovering new things.”

  Aiko declined a stale chip. “Is that why you have sex with so many different women? To try new things?”

  The bag disappeared into a trash can while Reina licked the salt off her fingers. “I guess. You know, I sleep with a lot of the same women over and over again. Mi-chan, you…”

  “Yes, I know.”

  Reina furrowed her eyes at the interruption. “And I don’t have a problem with that. I like familiarity. But I like discovering new people, too.” She plopped down cross-legged on the futon and pulled the comic book toward her. “Like this character here, I wonder what it would be like to sleep with her, you know? What kind of sounds she makes, how she moves, what her omanko tastes like…”

  “Reina!”

  “What? Haven’t you guessed by now? I like to collect pearls.”

  “Mou, sometimes you’re too much.”

  The pages turned to a full profile picture of one of the main characters, a woman with gentle curves and dark hair. “Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to have sex with somebody besides me? Haven’t you reached a level of comfort where you can fantasize about other women?” Reina pointed to the character. “Don’t you wonder what it would be like to fuck somebody like her?”

  Too much. Aiko turned away, her brain overloaded on questions she never before considered. Sex with other women? She had just gotten used to Reina! And while Aiko had come to terms with her own desires for one woman, she never considered any others. How did that even work? Was she suddenly supposed to find all women attractive, just because she enjoyed sex with one? Was that how Reina functioned? Does she want to sleep with every woman on the planet? A conquest. That’s all Aiko felt like sometimes.

  “Yare yare.” Reina dropped the comic book and put a gentle hand on Aiko’s arm. “I’m sorry. But I think you confuse me.”

  “Me? Confuse you?” That was a pretty situation. Aiko didn’t know any person more confusing than Reina.

  She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing again to the point they were smaller than her hallway. “Aren’t you a lesbian?”

  On the outside, Aiko knew she must still look the perfect picture of serenity, but on the inside she transformed into a pile of mush. Although she had considered the word “lesbian” for herself since meeting Reina, she still hadn’t solidified her opinion of it or what it meant for her life.

  “I don’t know.”

  Those narrowed eyes relaxed with the rest of Reina’s visage. “Typical. Now I’m even more confused.”

  Aiko leaned forward, her hand pushing aside the dirty comic book. “I like dating you. I like doing those things with you.” She continued without faltering. “Every time I get ready to come see you I get all excited inside. And I wish….” Her hand found Reina’s, immersed in the futon. “I wish you were my…”

  Reina flinched.

  “Girlfriend.”

  The flinch turned into more confusion. “Hontou?” Reina pulled her hand away. “I thought you were going to say ‘boyfriend.’”

  “Why? You’re not a boy.”

  “Well, that’s what most girls tell me. They date me, or fuck me, then say they wish I were a boy. You don’t wish I were a boy?”

  “If I wanted to date a boy, I have a creepy one hanging around my house thinking he’s going to get back with me.” Aiko scrunched her face. “I’m not going to make any absolutes about myself right now. I still have a lot I have to think through and consider. But I do know I like having sex with at least one woman, and that’s you.”

  When Reina didn’t reply, Aiko scooted closer to her and put a hand on her cheek. Reina felt warm, and the hair falling across Aiko’s hand was coarser than the words likely to fall out of her lover’s mouth. Fingers caressed Reina’s scalp; fingers gripped Aiko’s arm.

  “But you don’t wonder about other women?”

  “I don’t know. Not yet. I haven’t thought about it. I’m still getting used to you!”

  She followed it with a swat to Reina’s head with a pillow. Reina lurched forward and grabbed her other pillow before whacking Aiko with it. In a matter of moments the two of them fell into a childish and lazy pillow fight, with neither moving from their spots while thumping each other and laughing.

  Reina dropped her pillow, tore Aiko’s from her hand, and kissed her. Aiko closed her eyes, imagining another woman on the other end of the surprise kiss. But as mouths opened and tongues fumbled together, she forewent her half assed fantasy and enjoyed what a woman named Reina had to offer.

  Their kiss was interrupted with a rumble in Reina’s stomach. Aiko asked, “When was the last time you ate? Besides those chips.”

  “Hm? Oh, I don’t think I’ve ate today.”

  “What? Not even breakfast?”

  “I got up and came to get you at the station. I haven’t been up that long.”

  “Majisuka!” Aiko couldn’t believe it. “It’s almost sunset.”

  “I was up late last night because of work. We had a late performance and then of course I went to a bar to talk to people.”

  “Oh, and sleep with another girl, right?”

  Reina’s lips fell lopsided. “No. Not last night. Just out late. Really late.”

  Aiko decided to trust her, but not without chiding her first for not eating. “Let’s just have an early dinner, then. What’s for dinner?”

  The puffing cheeks indicated “nothing.”

  “What! You mean you haven’t planned anything for dinner?” Reina was possibly the worst hostess in the history of the world. “Not even going to a restaurant?”

  Reina offered the laziest shrug in response. “I don’t eat much on my days off. It’s like my stomach takes the day off, too.”

  “What about me?”

  “Huh?” Reina stared at Aiko’s stomach. “Oh, right.”

  “Shinjirarenai! You forgot about your guest!” Aiko stood and paced around the futon. She wished she could say this surprised her, but granted Reina’s usual behavior… “Let’s go downstairs and see what you have in your kitchen.”

  Forgetting that the house outside Reina’s room reeked of dust and tobacco, Aiko ventured into the dark abyss and descended the stairs as if she lived there. Reina followed, silent. When they entered the kitchen, Aiko found a light switch and turned it on to reveal piles of dirty dishes and two flies buzzing around a basket full of decomposing fruit. A frown flashed for a half second before she reeled it in and rolled up her sleeves.

  “What are you doing?”

  Aiko pulled a hair-tie from her pocket and whipped her hair up into a bun. “I’m going to clean this kitchen and cook you dinner.”

  “Ehh? You don’t have to. We can go out.”

  “No. And don’t think you’re getting out of this. You know where those dishes are supposed to go.”

  Never in the full week leading up to this overnight stay did Aiko envision herself cleaning Reina’s kitchen. But there she was, elbow-deep in brown water as she scrubbed away old food from dishes. She tried not to judge, knowing both women of the house worked most of their days, but Aiko wondered w
hat kind of housekeeper let the kitchen get so disgusting. She passed the dishes off to Reina to dry while she sorted the expired food into the appropriate garbage bags.

  When she finished and dried her hands on the closest clean rag she could find, Reina was still unfinished with her chore and, in fact, looked quite apprehensive about it, as if she hadn’t dried dishes in years. I bet this wasn’t what she had in mind when I said I would come over. Aiko braved the refrigerator and found enough fresh ingredients to make fried rice for dinner.

  Reina refused to help cook. Well, she claimed she didn’t know how to cook, which Aiko took about as well as discovering the kitchen in its original state. She shooed Reina out of the room and completely took over.

  Dinner was ready minutes later, and by that time Reina managed to somehow rediscover the dishes they just cleaned and put them on the dining table. Aiko had a few thoughts about the arrangement as well, but refrained from embarrassing Reina further. Instead she fluttered about with food and drinks she found in the refrigerator, her voice hitting new highs and her smile plastered on as she fought to appear cheerful and not judgmental. If I blow this night I will never forgive myself.

  “It’s been a long time since I had a meal like this,” Reina said, as Aiko put the fried rice on the table. “Thank you.”

  Aiko sat across from her and distributed servings. The rice, accompanied with bits of scrambled egg, diced ham, and chopped carrots and onions spilled out of the large spoon like the commoner food it was. “Really? But it’s nothing special.”

  Reina offered to pour orange juice into Aiko’s empty glass. “My mother used to cook before she got her other part time job. I’m useless at it. We either eat out on our own or bring it home.” She filled her own glass after Aiko’s. “So even if it’s something simple like this, it gives me a better feeling than a boxed lunch from the convenience store.”

  Guilt moved around Aiko’s heart, and she berated herself for thinking so poorly of Reina’s house and home life. A new thought occurred to her. “What’s your favorite meal?”

  “Eh? I told you before, I like okonomiyaki.”

  “I’ll make it for you sometime.”

  “Really? You’re too nice to somebody like me.”

  Aiko didn’t know what that meant, but didn’t let it ruin the image of her cooking a Japanese pancake full of vegetables and noodles in her head. Aiko enjoyed cooking enough to barter it out to her friends as gifts, so why not her lovers? “Let’s eat!”

  After supper, Reina was more cordial than before when it came to doing the dishes. For the first time Aiko felt, as she turned on the sink again, that they were a “real” couple, although she knew Reina didn’t think of it that way. Prone to continuous fantasies, however, Aiko remained convinced she was closer to making herself Reina’s official girlfriend than any other woman could claim.

  They returned upstairs, where the sun had set and sucked the previous fantastic light from the four walls. Reina turned her overhead light on low and slumped to her futon to clean up the playing cards and dirty comic books.

  Aiko’s good humor led her on a tour around the room, where she examined the curling posters of powerful women and then knelt down to raid Reina’s CD stash. Much nicer than bizarre fashion magazines and dirty comics! Although Aiko leaned more toward the poppier side of music, she still appreciated a charismatic woman who sang to electric guitars or smoother jazz. The common threads throughout all of Reina’s CDs were deep voices and mature images.

  “Oh, I’ve never heard this one before,” she said, holding up a CD of a metal front woman. “I’ve seen her on TV sometimes, though. Is it good?”

  Reina glanced over her shoulder. “You can borrow it if you want.”

  Pocketing the CD in her overnight bag, Aiko met Reina’s eyes while bending over, and a spark flashed in the tiny second between feeling her own underwear in her bag and gazing at the empty futon.

  “You should come over here.” Reina patted the mattress.

  Chills coursed through Aiko, most of them settling in her stomach. I know that look now. Little by little, Aiko’s naiveté squandered away. She wants to have sex.

  She tiptoed to the futon and knelt next to Reina, her hand immediately snapping out and toying with hemlines. “How many women have you slept with here?”

  Reina stopped fidgeting with Aiko’s clothing long enough to answer. “Not many. I don’t bring many girls here.”

  “How many is ‘not many?’”

  “I don’t know. Five?”

  “Including me?”

  “I think so.”

  New elation replaced the chills in Aiko’s gut. I’m special enough she brought me here. At the very least it meant Reina trusted her as a friend as well as a lover. “And this week? How many women have you had sex with since we did it last weekend?”

  Reina’s nose, lips and brows scrunched into a scowl. “What’s this all for, huh?”

  “I think I have the right to know.”

  A sigh. “Two.”

  “Two?”

  “Two.”

  “Who?”

  “Ara! You’re so nosy!”

  Aiko pulled Reina’s hands up and kissed her knuckles. “I bet Mi-chan was one of them.”

  “Yeah. But you know she and I often do it. You should never be surprised by it.”

  Michiko is a beautiful woman…if I were Reina, I’d make her my girlfriend. “Who was the other woman? A friend?”

  Cocking her head to the side, Reina gave off an air of “That’s one way to put it.” But the words coming out of her mouth were, “An old acquaintance I sometimes run into. It’s purely sex with her, though. And she’s not any good. She’s totally selfish.”

  “Selfish?”

  “Yeah, she only wants her own. She never gives back.”

  I give back. Aiko’s limbs fell lax as Reina took control over her own hands again. Before Aiko could continue their conversation, however, Reina surged forward and kissed her, arms wrapping fast around her and refusing to let go.

  Aiko no longer cared about who Reina slept with and how often, not when it was her time to prove herself a formidable, if inexperienced, lover to one of the city’s most prolific lesbian lady-killers. She’s slept with many women, but I’m the one in her room. Surrounded by all of Reina’s individual touches and private personality, Aiko became empowered in the knowledge she had an extension of Reina’s trust.

  In turn she gave that trust back, and followed Reina’s lead when disrobing began. She shrugged out of her sweater and tackled Aiko half-naked. Her wet lips abandoned Aiko’s and traveled down her throat before stopping at the topmost button on her plaid shirt. Aiko shoved her hands beneath her clothing and finagled with her bra clasps while Reina maneuvered buttons between her fingers. The speed at which they could now buzz through foreplay made Aiko nostalgic for the first time, when everything was slower.

  “You know,” she said between kisses, her bra straps pulled through her sleeves, “we don’t have to rush.”

  Reina braced herself on Aiko’s shoulders. “Fuck slow.” Her breaths grew hotter and her voice deeper. “I’ve been waiting for this since you walked into my house. I’m going to fuck you like I fuck every woman who comes in here.”

  Between that assertion and Reina rubbing against and kissing her, Aiko’s blood changed course in its circulation and drained from her head. “H…how’s that?”

  “Hontou?” Reina untangled herself from Aiko and rolled off the futon. “You talk too much sometimes.” She kicked her space heater in the corner and cranked it up. Lack of sunlight made the whole room cold.

  “I’m sorry,” she replied the moment Reina sat next to her again. “It’s just, when you say those sorts of things…” The blood came back in full force.

  Somehow Reina coaxed Aiko down onto the futon, her head hitting a pillow as if it were a rock. Without the soulless atmosphere of the love hotel, Aiko’s sickness inside her returned since not a single shadow blemished Reina’s twit
ching face. “What sorts of things?” She lay on top of Aiko, teeth grazing her ear and throat.

  “You know, those naughty things.”

  Reina straddled Aiko’s hips and resumed unbuttoning the front of her shirt – every button undone was another chill picking skin. “Well, I tell the truth. I have wanted to fuck you the moment you stepped in here, and I plan on treating you just as well as I treat any other woman willing to have a great time.” Reina popped the last button and ripped the shirt open. Hands roamed up Aiko’s torso and grabbed her breasts.

  They kissed before Aiko had the chance to respond. As her hands combed through Reina’s hair, she felt the heavy pushes of somebody grinding against her stomach. I just don’t want it to be over too soon. What a waste of a good, private space.

  And then Reina’s breath was in Aiko’s ear, whispering, “I want to see if you can go a whole night with me.”

  A whole night! How exhausting! When my mother asks me what I did at my “friend’s” house, I hope I can keep a straight face.

  She certainly couldn’t keep a straight face then: Reina wrapped their limbs together and turned the futon into a hotbed of dry sex. Aiko attempted to spread her legs as instincts dictated, but Reina’s firm hold through her pelvis restrained her to the point frustration curled up between her legs. I can’t do this all night! She better have proper sex with me soon!

  The closest to that was when Reina sat up to unzip her jeans and kick them off – Aiko followed, fumbling to get a hold of her own zipper and push her pants past her hips.

  “Ai-chan.” Reina’s voice seemed everywhere, weaving in and out both of Aiko’s ears at once. “You should put your fingers in me.” She took Aiko’s right hand and placed it near her own navel. “I want you to feel how wet I’ve been for you all day.”

  Such a statement made Aiko’s own warmth double. “I’ve never done that before,” she protested. “What if I’m not good?”

  “What? You can put your tongue in my omanko but not your fingers? That doesn’t make sense.”