Married for Real (Harlequin Presents)

by Lindsay Armstrong

  ‘You seem to forget, I’m the one with little choice, Declan,’ she replied with considerable irony.

  ‘So you are, Arizona, so you are.’

  ‘Oh, this is impossible.’ She jumped up and was horrified to discover she had tears on her lashes.

  He got up smoothly. ‘Then let me make another suggestion.’ He took her hand and forced her to face him.

  ‘You’re hurting me,’ she said proudly, despite those suspicious tears.

  ‘Only because you’re asking for it,’ he countered coolly, ‘so just stand still and listen to me for a change.’

  ‘Aye, aye, sir!’

  His mouth hardened for a moment then he relaxed and laughed softly. ‘Anyone would think I was about to attack you,’ he said lazily. ‘I can assure you I’m not. I’m equally sure after last night that it will never have to come to that—but it was nothing,’ he said as she gasped, ‘along those lines at all, Arizona.’ His blue eyes mocked her. ‘I was merely going to suggest,’ he continued smoothly, ‘that while you had your hands full with Daisy, I go back to Sydney this afternoon, pick Ben up and spend a few days with him.’

  ‘Ben!’ Arizona said huskily and put her free hand to her brow, a bit dazed. ‘I haven’t even had time to think about him today. But—what would you do with him?’

  ‘Take him to see the school I have in mind and—’ he shrugged ‘—just do a few of the things fifteen-year-old boys might enjoy.’

  ‘Would…would you?’ she said uncertainly.

  ‘Contrary to your opinion of me, Arizona,’ he drawled, ‘I’m not a monster.’

  ‘I didn’t think you were in that respect,’ she said irritably. ‘But you are a super, high-powered businessman—or aren’t you?’

  ‘I’m on holiday,’ he reminded her softly and stared into her eyes deliberately.

  ‘Well—’ she had the grace to colour faintly ‘—I’m sorry…but that would be—I’d be very grateful if you would.’

  ‘Thank you. For the apology,’ he murmured.

  The colour in her cheeks grew and she tried to turn away but he wouldn’t let her. ‘There’s just one thing I’d like you to do while I’m away, Arizona,’ he went on. ‘And that’s to make up your mind about yourself.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ She frowned at him.

  ‘You see,’ he explained gravely, ‘I’m getting these confused signals. Last night you went out of your way to be a fortune-huntress and a vamp, although for a while you kissed me like a girl who was rather overcome, even a little in love… I find that strange, Arizona, don’t you?’

  She stared into his eyes and felt like a butterfly pinned to a cloth. She licked her lips and opened her mouth to speak, but he smiled, unamused, and released her hand to put a finger on her lips. ‘No. I’d rather you thought about it instead of launching into a tirade of some kind. And of course, for my part, there’ll be the sense of anticipation, while we’re apart, as to what you’ll be when I return. The vamp?’ he mused. ‘The cold-hearted gold-digger? Or simply an angry and confused young woman but at least an honest one?’

  CHAPTER FOUR

  HE WAS away for four days.

  Days of inner turmoil for Arizona, which she would have loved to try to combat by being furiously busy but spent mostly with Daisy. The result was that at night, with Daisy tucked up and sleeping peacefully, she wasn’t physically tired herself and had plenty of time to ponder on the nature of her dilemma, and Declan Holmes’s acuteness…Not that I’m in love with him, she told herself repeatedly, but there’s no doubt I was a bit overcome. She shivered in sudden remembrance. There’s no doubt he intrigues me as no man ever has, but at the same time he engenders this raging hostility in me! The thing is—who’s to blame for that? I haven’t been honest with him for a very good reason, but why should I? He certainly started out believing the worst of me. Why does he really want to marry me, then? It has to be revenge because I wouldn’t look at him when Pete was alive or—afterwards, he as good as said so that awful night. But what does that make him?

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said aloud to herself in the dark, in bed one night. ‘That’s the thing, I don’t know. What kind of a man goes to these lengths over a wife of a friend, a wife who did the right thing? Is it because afterwards, I was still determined to have nothing to do with him? How could he know that in spite of the way I was, it was there, this… curiosity, this… Will it never leave me?’ she wondered still aloud and desolately, and turned to hide her suddenly hot face in the pillow. But then he can be nice, she thought, some minutes later, and good with the kids but all the same he’s using them…

  How can I leave them? she asked herself another night. Especially Daisy. I’d never forgive myself, I’ve promised…so I’ve got to work something out but it’s unbelievable all the same. Or is it, Arizona, she asked herself bleakly, and lay quite still thinking of how he’d kissed her, how it had overcome her, and wondering what it would be like to be married to a man you didn’t understand, a man who you knew wanted you but had no idea how he would use you…

  They came back on a Thursday afternoon, catching Arizona unawares. Daisy was up and having some fresh air, wearing a pair of sunglasses and looking much better. They were on the veranda doing a jigsaw puzzle. As soon as she saw the car and then Ben getting out, Daisy jumped up ecstatically, knocking the puzzle off the table, and dashed down the steps, calling his name.

  ‘Ben, Ben, I’ve been sick and very important but I’m better now. Oh, Ben, you did come back—Arizona told me not to lecture you any more so I won’t!’

  Ben grinned and picked her up. ‘Believe it or not, I missed you, Bubbles,’ he said affectionately, using his pet name for her, and Arizona relaxed, a bit because this was more like the old Ben. But she thought she detected a slight constraint as he came up the steps with his eyes not quite meeting hers as he still carried Daisy, and she breathed deeply.

  ‘Ben,’ she said with a grin of her own, ‘I hope you’ve had measles in case it’s still lingering. Did you have a good time? We missed you, too.’

  And she thought she must have pulled it off, that it must have come out easily and naturally because she saw Ben visibly relax, and he said enthusiastically, ‘I had a ball!’

  Then the twins streaked round the corner of the house and they flowed inside together in one noisy, happy group. Arizona bent to gather up the puzzle.

  ‘Here, let me give you a hand.’

  ‘Thanks,’ she said to Declan as he knelt beside her, and that was all they said until every last piece of puzzle had been retrieved.

  ‘How are you?’ he queried when they stood up at last.

  ‘Fine, thanks,’ she answered but didn’t know if it was true because she was still curiously affected by the accidental touching of his hand on hers as they’d sought for the same piece.

  ‘You don’t altogether look it,’ he murmured, his brows drawn together in a faint frown.

  ‘Well, I am, really,’ she tried to say lightly. And because she felt she needed to emphasize that it was nothing to do with him, she added, ‘Just a bit housebound at present, that’s all.’

  ‘Would you let me take you out to dinner tonight then?’

  ‘Oh, no.’ She smiled perfunctorily. ‘Daisy’s much better, I’ll be able to get out and about soon, and Ben looks so much better, too, thank you for that!’ She was aware as soon as she stopped speaking, that she’d sounded stilted and harassed, and bit her lip.

  ‘Would dinner out alone with me be so much worse than dinner here with me?’

  ‘I didn’t mean that—’

  ‘Yes, you did, Arizona,’ he contradicted coolly.

  Her shoulders slumped suddenly. ‘All right, so what if I did,’ she murmured, barely audibly. ‘Anyway, Daisy is still—’

  ‘Daisy’s much better, you said so yourself, she’s got Ben, the twins and Cloris. And much as I appreciate your concern for her, we shouldn’t allow this fear she has of being deserted to get out of hand.’

  Of co
urse he’s right about that, she thought dismally, and anyway I did decide to level with him, didn’t I? Is there any point in trying to put it off?

  ‘You’ve won,’ she said with an odd little sigh. ‘What time shall we go?’

  ‘About seven,’ he said slowly, his eyes narrowed. ‘I thought we might try Zena’s in the village.’ The village was the nearest town in the area, about ten miles away. ‘Rosemary gave it quite a wrap the other night, if you recall.’

  ‘Rosemary should know!’

  ‘I thought you liked Rosemary,’ he murmured.

  ‘I do.’ Arizona grimaced wryly. ‘That doesn’t blind me to the fact that Rosemary has an uncanny knack of always finding the most exclusive and expensive places around.’

  His lips twisted. ‘Exclusive?’

  She shrugged. ‘The kind of places you’re liable to meet all the best people, of the same social calibre, same old schools, similar financial standing—that kind of thing. Although not necessarily the best food.’

  He looked amused. ‘Are you really objecting to that, or is it the thought of being seen with me by people who may recognize us?’

  ‘Not at all.’ She stared at him scornfully.

  ‘That’s more my Arizona,’ he reflected. ‘Do you have a better suggestion, then?’

  She tried to contain her irritation but knew she was on her mettle as she said carefully, ‘There’s an old pub on the edge of town with a garden that overlooks the sea. A lot of the local fishermen patronize it because they serve the best and freshest lobster, oysters and prawns around, and you can eat outside, but it has absolutely no social pretensions whatever—a lot of its patrons barely made high school.’

  ‘Well, you win this time, my dear,’ he drawled, but as she stiffened he added, ‘as a matter of fact it sounds much better.’

  ‘You won’t find any fancy French wines there,’ she warned. ‘More like cheap plonk.’

  ‘Who cares?’ he replied. ‘It’s the food that counts.’

  She was astounded by the difference in her when they left, and more so when they entered the pub. She hadn’t dressed up, although she did wear beautifully tailored jeans, flat navy suede shoes and a white top with padded shoulders made from a bubble-knit material that was at the same time simple, stylish and warm. She had also washed her hair and tied it back, dark, gold-streaked and shining, at her nape, with a navy blue scarf, and touched mascara to her lashes and a deep bronze colour to her lips.

  Her sense of well-being had started as they left, when Declan had firmly but kindly told all and sundry he was taking her out to dinner but they’d be back in a couple of hours. Daisy had not so much as blinked an eyelid, and Ben had looked quite unaffected. Arizona had had to admit that this had caused her a mental raising of her eyebrows along the lines of how some men simply had this habit of command and how annoyingly effective it was, but she couldn’t hold the cynicism of the thought for long. Not as they left the house behind, drove beyond Scawfell’s fences and on to the moonlight-washed road. Perhaps I do need a break, she thought ruefully.

  Then, as she walked through the pub and a sudden, stunned silence fell as all in the place took in her shining hair, her clear pale skin, her figure, she suddenly felt tall, lithe, elegant—and confident.

  ‘Well,’ Declan Holmes said with a curious little smile playing on his lips as he found them a table in the garden and drew out a chair for her, ‘you certainly cut a swathe through that lot.’

  ‘Didn’t mean to,’ she said wryly.

  ‘But you enjoyed it?’ he suggested, sitting down himself.

  ‘I cannot tell a lie.’ She smiled faintly. ‘It worked wonders for my ego.’ She sobered and started to look for hidden meanings in his words. ‘If that makes me a vamp or—’

  ‘Not at all—just refreshingly human and honestly female.’

  ‘Do you mean that?’ she asked abruptly.

  ‘Yes,’ he said simply.

  Arizona sat back a bit stumped.

  ‘What I’d like to know now,’ he said after a pause, and she tensed slightly, which he saw and acknowledged with a twist of his lips, ‘is whether someone will come to serve us or whether I have to go inside to order our meal, leaving you out here alone, which is something I’m not altogether keen to do—I’m sure there are at least fifty men around who would be only too happy to take my place.’

  She relaxed and grinned. ‘Someone will come for our order, I’m only too happy to tell you.’

  ‘At least—’ he paused ‘—you feel safe with me, Arizona. That has to mean something—no, don’t tense up, let’s enjoy this meal in some sort of friendship.’

  So they ate delicous, plump little oysters naturel, and mouth-watering lobster grilled with butter on a bed of rice and accompanied by a crisp side salad. Declan ordered a carafe of house wine, probably out of a cask, she warned, but it turned out to be quite a pleasant moselle. And once again they were assailed by a variety of perfumes from the garden around them and the sound of waves on the shore not far away.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said pushing her lobster plate away at last and touching a paper napkin to her lips, whereas Zena’s would have had fine linen, ‘that was not only delicious, but I really think I did need to get away for a while.’

  ‘It was your expertise that brought us here.’

  ‘I was your—something that persuaded me to come.’

  ‘Does that make us quits?’ he speculated idly. She didn’t answer immediately. Then she said, gathering her resources, ‘You told me to do something while you were away. I think I’ve done it.’

  ‘What?’ he asked quietly.

  ‘Decided to tell you some things. I’m not a vamp, and I’m not really a fortune-huntress. I married Peter because I trusted him, and I don’t usually trust men. I—married him because it was what he wanted rather desperately, but I would have been quite happy to stay on as the governess—only once he fell in love with me, I couldn’t have. But I was always honest with him, I told him from the beginning that I didn’t, couldn’t love him the same way, that it didn’t seem possible for me to fall in love like that…and I hoped it never would.’

  ‘Did you tell him why?’ Declan asked after a long pause.

  ‘Yes. Well, he’d begun to guess anyway because of—as he put it—the way I so determinedly froze men off.’

  ‘Are you going to tell me, Arizona?’

  ‘I would rather not,’ she said straightly. ‘It can’t change anything. Could we just leave it at that?’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ he murmured. ‘That’s asking a bit much of me, don’t you think?’

  ‘All right,’ she said abruptly. ‘My mother had a few men in her life. Every last one of them deserted her, including my father, throwing her into the depths of despair. I think I was about sixteen when I made a vow no man would do that to me. And I’m sorry to say but there’s nothing about you, Declan, that has made me change my mind.’

  He smiled slightly. ‘Point taken, but let’s not jump the gun. Did it never occur to you that your mother may have been at fault at all?’

  ‘Of course it did,’ Arizona said briefly then added, ‘I’m very much like my mother, to look at, that is.’

  ‘Ah, so it’s yourself you don’t trust, Arizona?’

  ‘No. But there was something in her that seemed to bring out a fatal urge in men to dominate and discard her, not to mention milk her dry. I…’ She hesitated. ‘I would be foolish to allow that to happen to me, don’t you agree?’

  ‘And that’s why you opted for a loveless marriage?’

  ‘It wasn’t loveless,’ she said very quietly. ‘I was happy and comfortable with Peter, and because I like to pay my debts, I went out of my way to make him happy,’ she added proudly.

  ‘In bed as well as out of it?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said after a long pause, during which she studied her hands.

  ‘It was pretty obvious that you fulfilled him—did he do the same for you, Arizona?’

  There was a lon
g silence, then she raised her eyes to him at last, and they were expressionless. ‘Yes.’

  They stared at each other. ‘And will you go out of your way to make me happy in that particular way, Arizona?’ he said softly but with a wealth of meaning in his tone and the way his eyes roamed over her then.

  She shivered and couldn’t quite hide it. But she said evenly enough, ‘That’s the other thing we should discuss. I don’t owe you anything, Declan—’

  ‘I agree.’

  ‘So—’ She stopped and stared at him. ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I agree.’

  ‘Then?’ Her eyes were wide and stunned. ‘I don’t understand what you…why we’re…’ She couldn’t go on.

  He sat up and moved his glass on the table. ‘I thought we might approach this a bit differently now. On the premise that you don’t owe me anything, Arizona, but we are caught up in a difficult situation to which the most logical solution is to get married.’

  She gazed at him, her lips parted, her eyes bewildered.

  ‘Well, it is, isn’t it?’ he murmured wryly.

  ‘I don’t—’

  ‘You don’t see why? Let me tell you,’ he drawled. ‘You find you can’t leave the kids or bear the thought of them being deprived of Scawfell.’ He narrowed his eyes then shrugged. ‘I’ve had the evidence of my own eyes,’ he said in a different voice, ‘as to how genuine you are in these matters, not to mention what a wrench it would be for them. Whereas I—’ he paused and grimaced ‘—find myself in the position, ironically similar to Pete’s, as it happens, of not being able to just hand you the place and the kids. That’s why there really is only one solution for us,’ he said simply.

  ‘I…’ Once again she got stuck.

  ‘You?’

  ‘Don’t know what to say…’

  ‘Well, look at it this way.’ He sat back and clasped his hands behind his head, ‘It would be another marriage of convenience for you. It would have most of the ingredients that made you happy and comfortable before. And has it never occurred to you, Arizona, that you have me as much of a hostage as I may have you?’