He was up, dressed and ready to go when she woke the next morning but, for once, she didn’t care. Because she still had those words on her mind and in her heart, and they seemed to sustain her without his presence beside her to wake up to.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SHE was sustained, a little to her surprise, nearly all of the time he was away, and when she made herself analyse it, she discovered it was because he was out of the country that she didn’t seem to mind being alone so much.
So what does that mean? she wondered and decided, after more thought, that it meant she believed there were absences he couldn’t avoid, such as this one—and those he probably could in this day and age of fax machines, mobile phones and so on.
The disturbing nature of these thoughts prompted her to resolutely try to banish them from her mind. The other thing that intruded now and then was the idea of going public about their marriage, and she realized that she was uneasy about that.
But his homecoming saw a passionate reunion between them, plus his insistence that she spend a few days in Sydney with him, although he made no mention of an interview. He also decided against relocating the children to Rosemary’s, vetoed her idea of taking them to Sydney, as well, and took Daisy for a walk on her own. From which Daisy returned bursting with pride but would not be drawn on the subject.
‘What did you say to her?’ Arizona asked curiously, later that evening.
‘We discussed,’ he said with a wry little smile, ‘her importance in the scheme of things, how it upset you to know she was unhappy, especially when it was for no real reason—and for good measure I threw in a bribe.’
‘Declan?’
‘My dear Arizona, look at it as an incentive system, then. Kids thrive on incentives.’
‘And just what incentive did you bribe Daisy with?’ she asked ominously.
‘I told her that if she showed us she was grown-up enough to spend a few days with Cloris, without you, I would consider her grown-up enough to start riding lessons on her own pony. I also told her it was our secret, just between the two of us.’
Arizona tried to maintain her expression of severity but failed. And said through her laughter, ‘Oh, God, if that works I’ll—I don’t know what I’ll do!’
He laughed, too, then said, ‘You know that pale violet suit you bought when you were—planning to show me a thing or two?’
‘Yes. Why?’ Arizona asked ruefully.
‘I’ve never seen you in it.’
‘You haven’t seen me in a lot of those clothes. But why now? I mean, it’s ten o’clock at night.’
‘Would you humour me and try it on, though?’
She looked at him him strangely then shrugged. ‘Come up in about five minutes.’
Five minutes later she stood in the middle of their bedroom wearing the lovely linen suit with its pale grey blouse and a very high-heeled pair of grey kid shoes.
‘Mmm,’ he said, walking around her. ‘Yes, that will be excellent. You have great taste in clothes, Arizona. Even when you’re spitting mad,’ he added with a wicked little glint in his eye.
‘Thank you,’ she replied. ‘Would you mind telling me what all this is about, though?’
‘I think this will be the perfect outfit to be interviewed in tomorrow, that’s all.’
She stilled and eyed him narrowly then said coolly, ‘I wish you wouldn’t spring these things on me, Declan. I am old enough to be consulted.’
‘I told you before I went away that we’d be doing this, Arizona,’ he said mildly.
‘You may have—you did,’ she corrected herself as he looked at her a little mockingly, ‘but you’ve said nothing since you got back, and, well—’ she gestured then said exasperatedly ‘—is that why you want me to come to Sydney?’
‘One of the reasons, yes. But it will take an hour of our time, at the most.’
She swung away from him and went to sit by the window. And heard herself say rather desolately, ‘I don’t want to do it.’
‘How would you like to handle it then?’ he queried dryly.
‘I have no idea. I’d rather it didn’t have to be handled at all.’
‘Arizona,’ he said impatiently, ‘this is only a magazine interview—’
‘I don’t want to be splashed over the pages of a magazine, in my violet suit or out of it—’
‘I’m sure you’d cause a sensation out of it, but it’s not that kind of magazine.’
‘You know what I mean,’ she said tautly. ‘But I particularly don’t want to be parcelled up to look like an appropriate wife for a millionaire or to be seen holding hands with you, looking coy or whatever.’
‘How about simply looking as if you’re in love with me?’
Some heat rose up her throat, but she said bleakly, ‘I’m surprised you want this, Declan, I really am. I thought you valued your privacy.’
‘It’s exactly because I do value my privacy that I’m doing this, I thought I’d explained that to you. Don’t you want people to know we’re married, and if so, why?’ he asked curtly.
‘It’s not that,’ she answered slowly. ‘You’ve managed to keep it pretty private until now.’
‘That’s mainly because you’ve been incarcerated at Scawfell most of the time,’ he said impatiently. ‘Arizona, trust me on this.’
‘All right.’ But she said it stonily.
He stared at her bent head and the way her hands were clasped in her lap, then swung on his heel and walked out.
Nor did he share her bed that night, and they drove to Sydney the next morning in a chilly sort of silence for the most part. Until Arizona said abruptly, ‘Don’t treat me like this, Declan. And all because I expressed some very natural reservations about being exposed to about seventeen million people.’
He glanced at her briefly but long enough for her to see the glint of steel in his blue eyes. ‘Nevertheless it’s what we’ll be doing this morning, my dear.’
‘I’m surprised you didn’t add something along the lines of—so you might as well make the best of it,’ she said contemptuously.
‘Those were your words, not mine.’
‘On another occasion when I felt I was being taken advantage of. You’re right.’
He swore beneath his breath and then, taking her by surprise, pulled the car off the road. They had not reached the outskirts of Sydney, and it was on a grassy verge beside a huge, open paddock that he switched the engine off.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked evenly.
‘I’m going to have this out with you here and now, my beautiful but unreasonably stubborn wife.’
‘Declan,’ she said through her teeth, ‘you may call me what you like, but the fact that you were able to force me to marry you should not lead you to imagine I am going to be like putty in your hands!’
‘No?’ he drawled.
‘No,’ she snapped back.
‘Of course there are times when you’re not exactly putty in my hands but—’
‘Don’t,’ she said coldly but with a sudden flush staining her cheeks.
‘I suppose it is a bit embarrassing to be reminded of how you sleep with me in light of this rebellion,’ he mused and touched an idle finger to her hot cheek. ‘All right, you win.’
Her eyes widened and flew to his.
‘Unfortunately, it’s going to delay Daisy’s pony, not to mention her opportunity to prove something to us, but be that as it may.’ And he switched the key on, glanced in the mirror and swung the car into a U-turn so they were going back the way they’d come.
‘You!’ Arizona whispered, going quite pale with rage.
‘It’s up to you, my dear,’ he said grimly.
‘Turn around then,’ she commanded. ‘But while I may do this interview, don’t expect me to be anything like putty in your hands for…the rest of my life, probably!’
He laughed softly as he did another U-turn and said, ‘Now that is throwing down the gauntlet, Arizona.’
‘Well, you didn’t
even have to look coy.’
Arizona breathed deeply and stopped what she was doing. Which was changing out of her violet suit. The bedroom of the Sydney house was bathed in sunlight. It was a very hot day, and Declan had just come in, closed the door and leant his broad shoulders against it.
‘No,’ she said turning her back on him to hang her jacket up carefully.
‘How about a swim?’ he suggested lazily. ‘Seeing as we’ve got that out of the way. Incidentally—’ he straightened and strolled over to her ‘—you were very good, Arizona. Cool, beautiful, poised—definitely an asset.’
‘Good. You can send me back to Scawfell now.’
‘I thought you’d decided Daisy deserved her chance. But anyway,’ he murmured, his blue gaze drifting down her body, ‘I have other plans for you at the moment.’
‘No,’ she whispered through a suddenly dry throat. ‘You can’t do this to me.’
‘What, as a matter of interest, do you think I’m about to do?’
‘Something along the putty in your hands line?’ She was only able to say it barely audibly but she was able to add, ‘You won’t enjoy it unless you have a preference for overpowering women.’
‘Look, Arizona,’ he said abruptly and took her hands. ‘I think we can deal better than this. I’m sorry you felt so much against going public, and I’m still not sure what your reasons were, but it was for the best, believe me. You know, you yourself told me only a couple of weeks ago that I was managing our lives very capably.’
‘I didn’t altogether mean that.’ She stopped and bit her lip.
‘Tell me what you meant, then.’
She grimaced, but it was too late. ‘I suppose I feel—you said just now that I was an asset, that’s how I feel. As if I’m a parcel of shares, or something inanimate that you can move around at will. I…’ She stopped and shrugged.
‘On the other hand, didn’t we agree that for two people not in love although greatly attracted to each other,’ he asked gently, ‘you would live your life and I would live mine?’
She couldn’t answer, only stare at him.
‘And, when you think about it,’ he continued with that same deadly gentleness, ‘it’s only where our lives have collided that I’ve made arrangements, which I consider are in all our best interests. For the rest of the time, you’re free to go your own road. You’re free to do what you once told me you liked doing best. You have the means now, moreover, to do it in great style. Or—’ he paused and searched her eyes in a manner that made her wish devoutly she could run away and hide from him ‘—are you trying to tell me that those things you once liked to do best are beginning to pall?’
Yes, she answered, but in her mind. Because I don’t want to spend ninety per cent of my life doing my own thing, because I want to be loved and be able to love you openly. Why can’t I just tell you? Is it pride, stupid vaunted pride? Or am I still afraid I’ll end up like my mother?
‘Arizona?’ He waited with courteous attention for her to speak, but when she didn’t, said, ‘Or is it a desire to be able to queen it over all and sundry as my wife, and spend my money in a much more public way?’
For a moment, she thought she was going to faint, so great was the hurt. But a moment later, she merely freed her hands and said quietly, ‘No. None of those, Declan. I’m quite happy to continue our…purely business affair—with a dash of physical attraction thrown in, let’s not forget that.’ She managed to smile a queer tense little smile at him. ‘And if you don’t mind, I think I will go for a swim.’
‘You think that will solve this—impasse?’
‘I have no idea,’ she whispered.
‘Then let me make another suggestion.’
She broke then. ‘Please,’ she said in sudden desperation, ‘that’s like asking me to prostitute myself in your bed unless—’ tears, foolish tears started to slip down her cheeks ‘—that’s what you believe I’ve been doing all along?’
He stood like a rock for a full minute, watching the way she attempted to stern the flow, how her shoulders shook, his eyes unreadable, his mouth set in a hard line. Then he sighed, put an arm round her shoulders and pulled her against him, which she had not the composure to resist, and said against her hair, ‘No, but I think we may be two of a kind. I’m sorry. Would you consider coming to bed with me because I rather desperately need you?’
Three days later, he said to her, ‘Do you think we should take pity on Daisy?’
They were in bed, it was very early and raining heavily. Arizona moved her cheek on his chest and smiled faintly. ‘You must be a mind-reader. I woke up thinking about her.’
‘Then we’ll go home this morning. How do you feel?’
‘Fine. Don’t I look it?’ she asked whimsically.
‘I can’t see that much of you at the moment,’ he murmured and drew aside the sheet that covered them. ‘That’s better.’
‘Is that a way to tell how fine a person is—’
‘In your case you’re looking exceptionally fine, but then, you always do like this.’ He moved his hand down her back to her hips.
‘I was going to say—’
‘However,’ he interrupted, ‘as you were probably going to say, I also need to look into your eyes and there’s one particularly fine way to do that. Let me show you.’
‘Declan,’ she said on a breath, moments later, when he’d sat her up and guided her to sit astride him while he lay back with the pillows heaped up behind him.
‘Arizona?’ He put his hands under her arms and drew them down the outline of her body from her armpits to the swell of her breasts that lay like pale, pink-tipped orbs to the slenderness of her waist then the curve of her hips and finally, her thighs. ‘You were saying?’
‘Nothing—of great moment,’ she said with an effort. ‘Just that I don’t believe it’s my eyes you’re concentrating on, particularly.’
‘You’re wrong, you know,’ he said wryly, stroking the tender skin of her inner thighs. ‘I love looking into your eyes when I’m doing something like this. Don’t you like it?’
She put her hands on his chest and considered. ‘If I could be allowed to—come down to your level, eventually,’ she said gravely.
‘Be my guest.’
She smiled gently. ‘All in good time, Mr. Holmes.’ And slipped her fingers through the springy black hair on his chest with concentration, her lashes veiling her eyes.
‘Arizona,’ he said suddenly and differently.
She looked up and didn’t know it but with a tinge of wariness.
‘Don’t… hide from me,’ he said, hot quite evenly. ‘Nor is there anything to be afraid of.’
Isn’t there? she wondered but said, ‘I’m not.’
‘Good. Come here then,’ he commanded softly.
‘This was your idea,’ she murmured with a genuine flicker of humour curving her lips.
‘For my sins,’ he agreed and cupped her breasts until a tremor ran through her. ‘That’s better,’ he added lazily and with a wicked glint.
‘I have to wonder why,’ she murmured ruefully as her nipples flowered beneath his fingers and a tide of living desire flowed through her.
‘I’d hate to think I was alone in—experiencing this.’
‘Well, you’re not,’ she said on a little jolt of breath but was able to add with composure—but only just—‘I’m coming down, Declan, be warned.’
Then she was in his arms, lying on the length of him, and they were laughing at the same time as they climaxed in a way that was new to them, stunning but with warmth and…tenderness? she wondered. Of a kind they’d not known before?
Daisy was fine when they got home but thrilled to see them, as were Sarah and Richard, and a mood of excitement gripped the house when the subject of the new pony was brought out into the open.
‘Where, er, does one acquire new ponies at very short notice?’ Declan asked Arizona rather ruefully.
‘Rosemary,’ she replied promptly.
He raised
a wry eyebrow at her. ‘What would we do without Rosemary—but how come?’
‘Rosemary is very into horses and president of the local pony club. If anyone can dig up a suitable pony for Daisy, she can. She also gives riding lessons.’
‘Then I think we ought to pay a call on Rosemary right now.’
‘Well, I’m sure Daisy will understand if we leave it until tomorrow.’
He looked at her steadily for a moment then said quietly, ‘I won’t be here tomorrow, unfortunately. And I do feel I should keep faith with Daisy, having instigated this, by at least looking over some ponies with her.’
Arizona hid her sudden inner pang by saying with a grin, ‘Well, I’m sure Rosemary will be delighted to see you! Do you mind if I stay here and unpack? I would imagine Daisy will feel doubly important and grown-up if you two go alone.’
He looked at her searchingly but said nothing and that’s how the rest of the day was organized.
When they got home Daisy was almost speechless with happiness and succumbed finally to a storm of tears brought about by overexcitement.
‘Sorry,’ Declan said when they were alone at last, after Arizona had finally managed to get Daisy to sleep. ‘Here.’ He handed her a glass of wine.
Arizona sank into a chair beside the fireplace. ‘Thanks! I’m going to enjoy this.’
He sat down opposite and told her about the pony, which was due to arrive in a few days, and passed on Rosemary’s good wishes. Then he said slowly, ‘I’m sorry about this, but it’s another trip to the States. I’ve—acquired a television station and there’s a lot to bone up on.’ He smiled briefly. ‘Pay television, cable television and the like.’
Her eyes widened. ‘That sounds like…really big time.’
‘Hopefully.’
‘How long?’
‘Three weeks.’ He gestured. ‘Maybe a bit longer, but I’ll definitely be home for Christmas.’
‘Christmas,’ she murmured. ‘That’s not that far away now, I’ll have to start making plans.’
‘You don’t mind?’
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