Arizona looked across at him and said honestly, ‘Yes, of course, but I’ll have plenty to occupy me.’
‘Good girl,’ he said almost absently.
Arizona sipped her wine and laid her head back, mainly, she thought, so that he couldn’t see her eyes.
It surprised her, therefore, when he came, gently prised the glass from her fingers and pulled her to her feet, and said, ‘It’s going to be a hell of a long three weeks.’
She trembled suddenly and he felt it through his hands and frowned. He said, ‘What is it?’
‘Nothing,’ she said huskily. ‘I think I’m a bit like Daisy. Just in need of a good night’s sleep.’
He paused, watched her narrowly, then dropped a light kiss on her hair. He also said gravely, ‘I would offer to come with you but I have an incredibly early start so I’m flying back to town this evening.’
‘Now?’
‘In about half an hour. Think you can keep your eyes open long enough to wave me off?’
She did, and went inside, hugging herself, and went straight to bed. It was not such a simple matter to get to sleep, however, although she kept telling herself to hold onto those minutes of warmth and tenderness that had happened only that morning, and to use them to combat not only the loneliness but the lack of understanding as to why she couldn’t be told of his plans sometimes, why she always had to find out at the last minute… Why?
In fact he came home early from his trip, only two and a half weeks after he’d left, and he drove down, so she didn’t even have the whir and roar of the helicopter to forewarn her. She was also in her beloved rose garden, on her knees, digging and watering with her hands dirty, a streak of mud on her chin, wearing her old dungarees when she heard a car and decided to ignore it, until she heard Daisy.
‘Declan, Declan—you’re home!’ Daisy called joyfully. ‘I’ve called my pony Pippa and I can nearly sit on her on my own!’
Arizona stilled, her eyes widening.
‘Well, you are a clever girl!’ Declan’s deep tones came quite clearly round the corner of the house. ‘Where is everyone?’
‘Sarah and Richard are playing with friends, Ben is staying with one of his new school friends and Cloris is cooking. It’s Christmas soon, did you know? And we’re all on holiday!’
‘Indeed, I do. What about Arizona?’
‘I don’t know where she is. In the garden prob’ly. She does a lot of gardening because she’s cross.’
Arizona froze in the act of getting up off her knees.
‘Cross?’ Declan’s voice expressed quizzical surprise.
‘Yes,’ Daisy confided.
‘Why is she cross, do you think?’
‘I don’t know but she is,’ Daisy insisted. ‘Maybe it’s because you’re not here,’ she added ingenuously.
Arizona groaned quite silently, got up swiftly and took flight. It did her little good, because he found her not five minutes later in the toolshed.
‘Declan!’ she said without having to simulate surprise as she turned and discovered him leaning against the doorway, and dropped a trowel.
‘Arizona,’ he answered amusedly. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to give you a fright.’
‘But—it’s not three weeks yet,’ she protested, totally foolishly, she knew.
‘Well, I’m sorry about that, too—would you like me to go away for another half week?’
‘No. I mean, no. I…was surprised, that’s all. Welcome home!’
‘Thanks,’ he said but didn’t move. ‘What’s this I hear about you being cross?’ he added, his blue gaze quite grave now, but it didn’t fool her for a moment. She knew he was laughing at her.
‘Cross?’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘I have it on the best authority.’
Arizona closed her eyes and wished fervently that she didn’t blush so easily because she could feel the heat pouring into her cheeks and knew it was useless to dissemble any further. She could also think of absolutely nothing to say.
He straightened. ‘So were you?’
‘No,’ she said a little bleakly. ‘Well, if so I didn’t realize—and Daisy could be exaggerating.’
He laughed softly. ‘You heard?’
‘I heard,’ she agreed.
‘And ran away?’ he suggested.
‘And ran away.’
‘Do you think she’s right about the cause of it?’
Arizona sighed, examined her dirty hands then looked into his eyes. ‘Possibly.’
‘That’s very gratifying,’ he murmured.
‘I’m sure it is,’ Arizona returned a shade tartly.
‘Because I have to tell you,’ he continued, ‘that I have been singularly, er, cross over these past two and a half weeks, as well. What do you think that means?’
The corners of her mouth started to twitch. ‘You…missed my home cooking?’
They laughed together then he said, ‘Come here.’
‘I’m filthy.’
‘I don’t mind in the slightest.’
She came. And a little later she indicated she’d like to be released, which he did immediately, but it was only so she could wind her arms round his neck with a queer little sigh.
‘Better?’ he said gently.
‘Much better,’ she whispered. But it was only a couple of days later that they had a row, the contents of which she found unbelievable…
It started after breakfast when he said casually, ‘Arizona, I think you should invite your mother down for Christmas.’
‘What?’ She blinked at him and stopped what she was doing, which was wrapping Christmas presents on the floor in her study with the door firmly closed against any spying children. Then she said flatly, ‘No, I don’t think I should, but why?’
‘Why not?’ he said with some irony.
‘Look, I don’t understand,’ she persisted.
‘You said yourself a little while ago that it was about time you stopped feuding with her.’
‘I know but—have you stopped feuding with your father?’ she asked with a frown.
‘No, but there is no mystery about my father.’
Arizona sat back on her heels. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Put simply—’ he paused ‘—I’d like to meet your mother. But for some reason or another, it would appear as if you’re hiding her from me.’
Arizona gasped. ‘I…hesitate to repeat myself but what do you mean, Declan?’
‘That she is not to be found, Arizona. Want to tell me why?’
‘Not to be found,’ Arizona repeated and then, as full implication of this hit her, ‘have you…been looking for her?’
He said quite simply and coolly, ‘Yes.’
She swallowed. ‘How dare you, Declan Holmes. How—I don’t believe this—’
‘Well, before you get too dramatic, Arizona, is there any reason I shouldn’t meet your mother? Such as her being a criminal or a—’ But he stopped as Arizona picked up a box of games that were to be a Christmas present for Richard, and flung it at him.
The result of this was that the box missed him as he dodged, but they were showered with dice, little chessmen, ludo markers and the like.
‘You’re unbelievably childish at times, Arizona,’ he said grimly and hauled her to her feet unceremoniously.
‘No, I’m not,’ she said, panting. ‘You are unbelievably underhand and conniving, you have no right—and all the money in the world, all the television stations in the world don’t give you the right to hound my mother or me like this and—’
‘On the contrary, I have every right to protect what is mine.’
She stared at him disbelievingly and with an almost paralysing sense of shock. ‘Do you seriously believe that, Declan? That my mother and I have concocted a devious plan to milk you dry? Well, you’re right, of course,’ she heard herself say. ‘I’m only sorry I didn’t get you in for a bit longer, but all the same, I’m still your wife and it’s going to cost you an awful lot of money to—get rid
of me.’
‘There’s only one problem with that, Arizona,’ he said roughly. ‘I have no intention of getting rid of you.’
CHAPTER NINE
THE silence was electric. Until she broke it.
‘You can’t keep me against my will, Declan.’
‘Try me, Arizona,’ he said grimly.
‘That’s ridiculous. Do you plan to lock me up?’
‘Oh, I don’t think I’ll have to go that far, not before Christmas, at least—would you run out on the kids now? That would be utterly conclusive, wouldn’t it?’
‘Damn you,’ she said angrily.
‘And once you’ve had time for some sober reflection,’ he drawled, ‘you may see things my way, after all. I’m going up to town now. I’ll be back on Christmas Eve. Don’t do anything rash, Arizona, will you?’
But although he waited with polite insolence, she was speechless with rage, and he left her, closing the door gently behind him.
‘When is Declan coming back?’ Daisy said fretfully a few days later. They were decorating the Christmas tree.
‘When it suits him,’ Sarah said pertly. ‘You can’t pin a man like Declan down, Daisy.’
‘Sarah,’ Arizona said, frowning, ‘that’s an…odd thing to say.’
‘She heard it said,’ Richard contributed. ‘Didn’t you, Sarah?’
Sarah threw a tinsel bauble at him. ‘Don’t tell!’ she commanded.
‘Why not? You said it,’ Richard reasoned, and threw the bauble back, whereupon Sarah reached for some tiny bells.
‘Stop it,’ Arizona warned. ‘And I think you better tell me what you heard said, Sarah.’
Sarah sighed theatrically, glared at her twin then shrugged. ‘It’s what Maddy Mason’s mum said, that’s all.’
‘When did she say this?’ Arizona went on hanging things on the tree and contrived to keep her voice calm, although not to be brooked.
‘When I went to play with Maddy the other day. She’s very nosy, Mrs. Mason. She was asking me all sorts of questions about you and Declan, she had that magazine, too.’
‘What kind of questions?’
‘How much time he spends here at Scawfell, how much time you spend with him. It was when I said not a lot that she said he’s a hard man to pin down and it might not be a real marriage anyway, she was sort of talking to herself then but I—’
‘Sarah, I don’t think you should discuss those kind of things with other people,’ Arizona broke in.
‘If you’d let me finish,’ Sarah said with ten-year-old hauteur, ‘that was when I told her it was really none of her business. I don’t think I’ll be invited to play with Maddy Mason again,’ she added with a giggle. ‘But it’s true, you don’t spend a lot of time together, do you, Arizona? I mean, it’s not really like having a mother and father again. Not that it bothers us,’ she added with the absolute honesty that reinforced Arizona’s opinion that Sarah was going to be one of those uncomfortable people who always called a spade a spade, ‘but there’s always our baby,’ she finished and rolled her eyes in Daisy’s direction.
‘If you’re calling me a baby, Sarah,’ Daisy said hotly, ‘I am not! Declan himself told me I was very grown-up. That’s why I want to show him how well I can ride now,’ she added, but with a distinct break in her voice.
‘See what I mean?’ Sarah said out of the corner of her mouth with a worldly little sigh. But she went on, ‘Listen, Daisy, Ben will be home tomorrow, you can show him!’
Daisy brightened and they finished the tree amicably.
It was Cloris who completed another difficult day for Arizona by saying to her after the children were in bed, ‘You don’t look well, pet. I’m tempted to call Mr. Holmes and let him know you need a break.’
‘Cloris.’ Arizona swallowed irritation, disbelief and horror. ‘Don’t. I’m fine.’
‘Well, he did say to me once if I thought you needed anything just to let him know.’
Arizona blinked at her. ‘When?’
‘I can’t remember exactly,’ Cloris said airily and added, ‘you know, I’m sure he’d be here if he could.’
‘He’ll be here on Christmas Eve, Cloris,’ Arizona said and bit her lip in case any of her prejudice on the subject had shown through.
‘Oh, well, that’s less than a week away now, and then I’m sure we’ll all be happy and more comfortable.’
All Arizona could do was walk out, as normally as possible, she hoped, but instead of taking herself to bed she went for a walk down to the cliff edge and sat on the turf with her knees drawn up, her chin resting on them—and the leaden heart within her breast feeling even worse than usual as she contemplated the fact that she couldn’t go on much longer under this intolerable strain, could no longer reconcile sleeping with a man who believed the things Declan Holmes believed of her. And contemplated the bitter sense of failure in her heart, because although she had slept with him and laughed with him and thought there was a new, unique and growing sense of tenderness between them, she couldn’t have been more wrong. Nothing had changed his doubts of her, apparently, nothing.
But what to do about the children? she mused painfully. In the long run is it going to help them to have me as tormented as I am? Did Sarah not demonstrate today that the imperfections of our marriage are becoming obvious to all and sundry? Has Daisy not flowered under his care as much as mine?
She shivered suddenly, dropped her face into her hands and came to a decision. And the next morning saw her driving away from Scawfell on the pretext of a last-minute Christmas shopping spree, having mentioned the possibility that she might spend the night in Sydney with Declan, having reassured Daisy that Ben would be home today, and having left with a heart almost breaking because she had no idea whether she would return.
She made one call in the village, which took her about half an hour, and then about ten miles south of Sydney she pulled into a garage to fill up with petrol and got the surprise of her life when her new gardener peered in through the offside window, cleared his throat and said, ‘Sorry about this, Mrs. Holmes, but Declan asked me to, well, let him know if you made any surprise moves.’
‘What?’
‘Are you going to see him, Mrs. Holmes? If so, there’s no problem but—’
A red mist of rage swam before Arizona’s eyes but she pulled herself out of it with a Herculean effort and said sweetly, ‘But if not you’d like to know where I’m going? Look, why don’t I save you a lot of trouble? Where’s your car?’
‘Uh—over there.’ He pointed and Arizona recognized the car parked neatly off the driveway, could not imagine how she’d missed that it was following her but didn’t care either.
‘Is it locked?’
‘Well, yes—’
‘Good, then hop in.’
‘Mrs. Holmes—’
‘Do as I say,’ Arizona commanded with such a blaze of anger in her grey eyes that the ex-naval man cum gardener did just that, although not precisely happily.
‘Where are we going?’ he asked tentatively as Arizona paid for her petrol and drove off.
‘You’ll see.’ And she spoke not another word to him as she drove fast and furiously right into the heart of Sydney Town, parked illegally at the base of a tall building and commanded him to accompany her inside.
The foyer of the building was extremely impressive, and she had to pause for a moment to study the direction board, but she soon saw what she was looking for and with an imperious wave of her hand dictated to the poor man to follow her. They got out on the twentieth floor, and she swept into the reception office she sought, didn’t even blink at its magnificence nor at three men all conservatively dressed and apparently standing in conference as she approached the desk.
Where she said in clear, crisp tones, ‘I’m Mrs. Declan Holmes and I would like to see my husband immediately.’
You could have heard a pin drop for about half a minute before the clearly flustered receptionist said, ‘I…I’m afraid he’s in a meeting, Mrs. Holme
s, but his secretary—’
‘Then you better get him out of the meeting, unless he wishes to be confronted by an extremely angry wife in front of whoever he’s meeting with!’
‘Yes, Mrs. Holmes,’ the poor young woman whispered and grabbed a phone while the three men blinked and gaped, and the gardener looked as if he wished the floor would open up and swallow him.
A minute later Declan strolled into the reception area looking dark, inscrutable but curiously relaxed, unless you happened to know that glint of steel in his eyes. And he drawled, ‘Ah, Arizona. Come to see me, I believe. Will you come through?’
‘No, I will not, nor did I come to see you particularly, Declan, merely to drop your watchdog off! In fact you’re the last person I’m desirous of seeing at the moment, although since I’m here I might as well tell you how utterly contemptible I find you—’
‘And that’s enough, my dear,’ he murmured, and closing on her, took her elbow in a vice-like grip and forced her to walk beside him out into the corridor. Nor did he relax his grip as he summoned a lift and they rode down to the basement garage swiftly and silently, with Arizona, now that the magnificence of her rage had spent itself although not the cold outward manifestation of it, inwardly shaking a little.
‘Get in,’ he said as they came up to the Saab.
‘No.’
‘Don’t make me have to force you, Arizona,’ he recommended through his teeth.
She looked around but there was not a soul in sight, and got in.
He drove her to the Point Piper house, which gave her a little time to collect her nerves, and she got out proudly and walked inside in front of him, her head held high while she murmured a formal greeting to the housekeeper who opened the door. But when she turned to go into what she knew was his study, he took her elbow again and directed her upstairs to the master bedroom. And although he shoved his hands in his trouser pockets after he’d closed the door firmly, there was menace in every line of his tall figure and something so cold in his eyes, she shivered involuntarily.
‘Well?’ he said but only after subjecting her to the coolest, most insolent stripping her of her clothes with his eyes imaginable, so that she looked at her stylish, sleeveless, camellia pink linen dress with its slim lines and long skirt as if to assure herself it was still there—and then clench her hands into fists.
Married for Real (Harlequin Presents) Page 14