Darkest Dreams

by Jennifer St Giles

  “That’s easier said than done,” I replied through clenched teeth, dismayed that my inexperience was so apparent despite my efforts.

  “Shut your eyes,” he instructed, moving closer to my side. “You’ll feel the rhythm.”

  My eyes widened instead.

  “Go ahead,” he urged. “Trust me. I won’t let anything happen.”

  I shut my eyes. In the ensuing darkness, I was carried forward with no control of where I was going. It was the strangest feeling I’d ever known, and gave me a better understanding of what every moment of Rebecca’s life was like.

  “Yes, that’s it,” he said softly, easing the timbre of his voice over me like a warm caress. “Loosen your fingers, ease your legs apart a little, let your boots rest in the stirrups and absorb the brunt of her stride. Relax into her pace.

  After a few minutes, I didn’t feel as if I would fall anymore, and surprisingly the ride become less painful, almost fun. I opened my eyes, amazed. I had to admit the day itself was glorious. Bright sunshine warmed my back, and a fresh salty breeze cooled my cheeks. The crash of the sea’s waves against the cliffs made me feel as if I heard the very heartbeat of the land, or that of the sleeping dragon, if you went by the stories of sailors.

  “There,” Alex said. “You feel it now, don’t you? The ease and the harmony of riding in rhythm. You learn fast. Now look ahead at the terrain and anticipate what Delilah is going to do in response to your lead, and you will soon be master over the horse. Fencing is the same in that you let your body flow with the rhythm of the fight, but you have the added uncertainty of only being able to control and anticipate your opponent’s moves to a certain point. After that…well, things can become difficult and much more interesting.”

  “It sounds very much like marriage,” I said.

  “What does?”

  “Horse riding and fencing. Unfortunately, Cassie isn’t proving to be as predictable as Sean thought she’d be.”

  “I can’t say that I’m surprised, but what do you mean specifically?”

  I frowned, trying to reduce Cassie and Sean’s conflict over the past few weeks to a simple idea. “The basic problem is that Sean and Cassie’s expectations of what each other should do and how they should react to each other isn’t matching up to who that other person is. For instance, when I left, Sean was sputtering with outrage because Cassie had likened him to a peacock.”

  “A peacock! Good God, your sister called my brother a peacock?” Alex roared with laughter that would have had a less-skilled rider tumbling from his horse. I had to laugh as well, for it was fairly funny, only I hadn’t dared laugh at the time. Alex wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. “What did Sean do to deserve such a fate?”

  “Herein lays the problem. Cassie is miffed that Sean refused to let her to go to town with everyone to report what she, Bridget and I discovered about the symbol. She contends that Constable Poole would never accord women with the necessary intelligence to investigate a crime if the men involved always pranced like peacocks into town with the information we have gathered. Sean doesn’t want Cassie involved in any way with the investigation.”

  Alex brought Samson to a sudden stop. Having moved ahead, I had to turn Delilah to face him. “What’s wrong?”

  “What was discovered about the symbol?” he said harshly.

  “According to Bridget, and verified by Stuart, most of the symbol is carved inside the sacrificial bowl at Daghdha’s feet in the Circle of the Stone Virgins. We still don’t know its meaning, but it is a start. They didn’t send a messenger to let you know?”

  “No. I’m obviously not important enough to keep informed.” He moved ahead at a faster, tenser pace.

  I had to hurry to catch up. “It was just last night, and I don’t think you were meant to be slighted at all. It was more likely Sean and Stuart were arguing with Cassie and Bridget too much to even think about anything else. ”

  “Sean and Stuart are absolutely right to not want Cassie and Bridget involved. So why is there a problem?”

  “What do you mean, ‘absolutely right’? How can you say that? Cassie and I were asking questions about this long before any of you were. All of you were so mired in your own worlds that you couldn’t see anything else, and still are to a large extent. This investigation is important to all of us. You can’t expect women to just turn off their minds like a water faucet. And Sean is partially wrong. He should have let Cassie go to town with him. He should discuss the situation with her and let her do things that she can do without jeopardizing her safety, instead of pigheadedly insisting that she do what he thinks is right in all things. Before this came up, they were already in disagreement about a married woman working.”

  “I don’t see your point? Why should she?”

  “Because she wants to. There should be nothing wrong with her using her intelligence and skill for monetary gain,” I replied, exasperated. “Perhaps it is a good thing I’ll never marry.” I spurred Delilah ahead and did so with very little apprehension. I had no room in my mind for fear at the moment. The ease to which I adjusted to Delilah’s gallop surprised and pleased me.

  He caught up to me and reached over, grasping Delilah’s reins, bringing us to a halt. “Why?” he asked, his keen gaze searching mine with such concern that I relaxed my stiffening spine until he spoke again. “You came to me a few weeks ago declaring you would soon have to leave your loving family and support yourself. Now you say you’ll never marry, and there is only one reason that I can fathom as to why. Are you with child?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  I reeled in the saddle, catching Alex’s arm for balance “What? How could you think that!” My sputtering surpassed Sean’s peacock outrage.

  “Thank God. And please forgive me,” Alex said, shutting his eyes a moment as if he were offering a silent prayer. Then he met my gaze, contrite. “As I said, a woman doesn’t leave her loving family without a reason. I assumed you’d been compromised and left to alone to face the consequences.”

  My cheeks burned. “But how could you—”

  “I’ve known men callous enough, my own father for one. He never took responsibility for his indiscretions. Married Mrs. Frye to his groomsman, which ended in tragedy, and as far as I can tell he’s never lifted a finger to help Prudence either.”

  “I’m not talking about that! How could you think that I would kiss you and let you touch me if I’d been involved with another, especially if I carried another man’s child?”

  “You’re too innocent about the world, Andromeda. Women have been known to—”

  “Not this woman!”

  “Then it would seem I owe you yet another apology. Now, will you tell me why you are so desperate to support yourself? And in a hurry, mind you. That was something else that influenced my erroneous assumption, for you did say you needed to be able to support yourself very soon.” He frowned. “Why the devil can’t you remain with your family? I know you love them. They love you. And as far as I’ve seen and heard, you’ve no angst, strife or curses between you and your sisters. So why?”

  I hesitated, so tempted to tell him, but I couldn’t. The words lodged in my throat. I couldn’t take the chance that Alex would reject me, not only because I needed the employment, but also because I wanted more time with him before risking everything. I wanted to see him whole. “I’m sorry. I can’t tell you. But I will say that I am not with child.” I forced a smile. “Has Iris had her foal? Is that the surprise you mentioned this morning?”

  “I’ll let her show you,” he said after a long moment. I could tell from the set of his shoulders that I’d alienated him. Thankfully he moved past the training ring toward the stables just ahead of us, and I followed. We’d ridden beside the long stretch of lawn and pasture sprawling from the back of the castle. Perfectly rounded hedges were backed by lush trees filled with the chatter of birds and the hum of roving bees. In the distance I could see the small table on the terrace where Alex and I had shared lunch. At the time
I had assumed the gardens of the estate were located elsewhere, but I didn’t see evidence of them today either. “Do you not have a formal garden area?”

  “On the trail leading down to the shore there’s a gazebo that is surrounded by a garden, but we don’t have one adjoining the castle. Good pasture land this close to the coast is difficult to find, so we made the most of it here at Dragon’s Cove, even if it meant being highly unconventional. But I gather you’ve already discovered that the Killdarens are never conventional.”

  Once at the stables, he dismounted and came to assist me. When I set my hand in his, I couldn’t see into his thoughts, and his expression was move reserved than usual, making me wonder if I hadn’t lost more by not telling him the truth. After all, he’d shared his thoughts and emotions with me to a certain degree. Stepping away as quickly as he could, he tethered the horses and moved on into the stable.

  The strong scents of horses and hay mixed with the sunshine and the salt of the sea. I blinked to adjust to the cool dimness inside the stable. Horses neighed and nickered amid the crooning mutterings of several groomsmen who were attending to their chores. I found Alex peering over the door of a stall about halfway down the main earthen corridor. A proud smile sat warmly on his full mouth, dimpling his cheek and softening the harsh angles of his brow and jaw.

  Slightly breathless, I joined him and rose to my tiptoes to see over the rough wood. Iris stood near the door, crunching oats from a bucket next to a feeding shelf of fresh hay. Nestled up against her side, butting her stomach with its head and looking for milk, was a beautiful black foal. Its delicate, long, slender legs weren’t quite steady yet, but its tail wagged like a pro. I exhaled, satisfied and relieved. In the back of my mind I’d been worried about how Iris would settle in.

  “Meet Eros, Andromeda.”

  “Oh, he’s so perfect, he’s almost magical! Can I touch him?”

  “Sure. Just move slowly and let him come to you. Iris is still a bit skittish yet with others.” Speaking low, in a language I didn’t understand, Alex murmured softly to the horses as he opened the stall door, moving inside first, then allowing me to slip in behind him. When he shut the stall door, he slid his arm to my back and urged me in front of him. Heat from his body pressed against me from the backs of my thighs to the nape of my neck. My pulse surged and my breasts tingled. I had to fight to keep my gaze on Eros, for every part of me wanted to turn and wrap my arms around the man behind me, to press my lips to his and taste the excitement vibrating between us.

  He seemed to know what I was thinking, for he slid his hand around to my stomach and pressed me tighter to him. His sharp inhale sent a shivering thrill through me. My lips parted and my head fell back against his shoulder.

  “What scent do you wear?” he asked, his voice but a whisper as his lips brushed my ear.

  “Lavender with a drop of rosemary oil. It never fails to refresh me.” I turned my face toward him, feeling as if my world had shrunk to this single moment and all that mattered was to feel his kiss.

  “You mean it never fails to seduce.” Gaze intent, he angled my way. His full lips softly brushed mine a moment, then hungrily claimed them. Moaning with pleasure, I opened to him, welcoming the dueling demand of his kiss as I met the stroke of his tongue with my eager response. I slid my hand to his cheek, cupping his clean-shaven jaw in my palm, wanting more from him. He groaned. His other hand wrapped around me, and the firm heat of his palm ran deliciously up my stomach to cover my breast. I arched to him, offering more, only to gasp in confusion and surprise from a punch to my side.

  “Ooh!” I exhaled sharply as a second hit landed. It took me a moment for my eyes to focus and realize that Eros had approached and was playfully jabbing me. “He’s strong.”

  Alex released me, chuckling as I held out my hand to Eros. He sniffed my fingers a moment, then butted his velvety muzzle into my palm and licked. Laughing, I knelt down and brushed my hand down his neck. “He’s already looking for treats.”

  “He must be a lady’s man. He’s yet to be that friendly with me. We named him well, I think.”

  “We?”

  “Certainly. The name Eros would have never crossed my mind if you hadn’t suggested Iris for his mother.” His gaze centered on my mouth, telling me it wasn’t my naming Iris that had brought the god of love and sexual desire into his thoughts.

  “Alex! Where are you?” I jumped at the sharpness in the Earl of Dartraven’s voice. Alex’s father was clearly not at all happy.

  “Hell,” Alex muttered.

  Eros skittered to his mother as she backed nervously across the stall, neighing a warning. Remembering her frightened dash on the ship, I quickly gained my feet and backed firmly against Alex, unsure of what Iris would do. Alex spoke softly to her again, and she immediately settled. He opened the stall door and pulled me out with him, then turned to face his father.

  “What in the bloody hell are you doing, yelling like that in here?” Alex hissed. “You could have caused Miss Andrews harm as well as my new mare and colt.”

  The earl blinked with surprise. “Wouldn’t have any cause to yell except your butler shut the door in my face. Wouldn’t even let me inside to wait for your return. The man is deranged.”

  “The man is following my orders. You aren’t welcomed here.”

  The earl sputtered. “This is ridiculous. No matter what, I am your father and you are my heir. I’ll not have this.”

  “By using your money to manipulate Helen and to hide evidence you’re as guilty of murder as if you’d killed the women yourself. I have no father.” Alex turned his back on the earl and took my hand. “Come, I’ll escort you back to the castle.”

  I shook my head. “I can find my way back if you need to speak privately.”

  He tugged me forward. “There’s nothing to be said.”

  Wincing at the earl, who stood white-faced and shaken, I went with Alex. His movements were fast and agitated as he helped me into the saddle, then mounted Samson. I understood his anger at his father and felt bad for them both. We moved at a quick pace from the stables. I urged Delilah forward, catching up to him. “Aren’t you being—”

  “Too harsh? Is there too harsh a punishment for murder, Andromeda? You think about what may have happened to your cousin, and you tell me. By bribing Helen and then suppressing evidence on her death, God only knows what evil has been done since, and I hold him responsible. My father doesn’t deserve to have his life while others have lost theirs.”

  I shuddered, feeling ill, but would have said more except Alex raced on ahead, his countenance as harsh and unforgiving as the rocky cliffs of Dragon’s Cove. After helping me dismount, he rode off without saying another word. The bright promise of the day had dimmed beneath the dark shadow of murder and the fact that a killer lurked amid those living at Dartmoor’s End.

  Once inside the castle, I returned to the Queen’s room, searching for more treasures to bring to the light of day. I lost myself in thoughts until I heard the slam of a door from across the corridor, and I knew Alex had returned. Some part of me recognized that I should stay with the artifacts, that I should ignore all of the clamoring inside of me that urged me to seek Alex out. But I didn’t listen.

  I left the safety of what I knew and went to his door. I pressed my ear to the crack and heard the soft thud of his movements as he dueled with himself. Without knocking, I quietly opened the door and peeked inside. Alex, wearing only the loose black pants and holding the same two deadly looking swords as the previous day, was putting himself through a grueling exercise of fighting movements. Anger and pain, grace and an almost savage beauty oozed from him. It was mesmerizing; he was mesmerizing. I slowly let the door fall open wider, stepping into the room, letting him know that I watched.

  I saw the moment he paused, realizing I was there, and felt a deep thrill and connection to him when he didn’t stop but rather continued. His skin, bronzed by the sun, glistened in the light streaming through the windows. Dark hair smatter
ed his chest and tapered into the thin line that bisected the hard planes of his stomach. The danger and the power rippling though his muscles stirred me in a way I had never been touched before. My heart sped, moving in tandem to the beat pulsing at his neck. My skin warmed, and my body tingled with the need to touch him, to feel the passion coursing through him.

  When he finished and knelt with his head bowed and the sharp blades of his swords resting on his shoulders, I moved toward him, reaching out my hand, aching to touch him.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” he said harshly.

  “I cannot not be here,”

  He stood abruptly and moved to the room where he kept his swords. He came back wearing a loose, unbuttoned shirt and carrying two practice swords. This time when he tossed the épée at me, I caught it, gripping the hilt has he’d shown me. He lifted a brow in surprise, and I smiled sweetly and brought my sword up into the dueling position, widening my stance. Between Sean’s teaching this morning, the books I’d devoured and my own bravado, I didn’t appear as foolish and inept as I had the day before.

  “Is that a challenge?” he asked, both brows now arched.

  “Most certainly,” I replied.

  “Exactly what have you been doing since yesterday?”

  “I found several books on fencing and read about the sport last night.”

  “Unexpected and very interesting,” he said as he circled me, his own épée lightly caressing the tip of mine.

  “I’ll wager you something,” I said, my palms growing damp. I matched his movements, turning slowly with him and sliding the blade of my épée along his, enjoying the hiss of the steel and the sensual curve of his responding smile.

  “Surely you don’t think that reading a book is going to enable you to match swords with me. There’s a great deal of practice involved.”