Heartfelt

by Lynn Crandall

  “Yeah, me too. Thank you for the nice lunch.” She stood and he joined her.

  Dare I kiss her here at her work?

  “No. I mean I really do need to get to my story. I can walk you out.”

  His charming smile dropped. “I can find my way, Asia. Have a productive afternoon. Is it okay if I call you later?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “All right. Maybe we can go to a concert at the Performance Center. I’ve got tickets to the Russian Ballet’s performance for tonight.”

  “It sounds lovely. Later.” She tried for lighthearted, but he still stared at her silently for a moment, before turning away.

  Gavin sauntered to the lobby and Asia turned down the hall toward her desk, shoving down the disturbing churning in her stomach. This grasping for a normal life was proving to be complicated.

  Once again in front of her computer, she reviewed what she’d already written about Daren Sage’s announcement earlier. A call to the Department of Natural Resources and she’d learned that the organization, The Nexus Group, had purchased permits to own and operate a nature preserve, approximately 1,500 acres of undeveloped land with the supposed purpose of providing natural settings for wildlife and breeding programs for animals at risk. Just as Sage had announced at his press conference.

  Very unlikely, she thought. TNG had yet to do anything philanthropic that didn’t have an angle to bring the group more resources and more power.

  She also had Sage’s media kit to pull information for the story. According to his fact sheet, TNG’s philanthropic investments included the restoration of the home of a prominent architect, who was responsible for designing many noteworthy buildings both locally and throughout the country in the early 1800s; funding for afterschool reading programs; and donating funds for a special research unit at Phoenix Biosciences.

  The benevolent appearance The Nexus Group was trying to present to the public made her teeth itch, preparing to transform into her were-lynx teeth and take a bite out of Sage.

  But writing this story was her assignment. She focused down to just the important elements of it and the thoughts swirling around the room receded to a corner in her mind.

  Minutes before deadline, Asia completed the story, satisfied that she’d reported the facts but written nothing inflammatory or what could be considered defamation regarding TNG. She knew what they’d done, the harm they’d caused, as did her colony cats. But that was not for the public to know. Not yet, and maybe never, if the colony managed to nix the group’s plans for good.

  She stretched the kinks out of her body, and noted that the roil of thoughts streaming into her brain continued but didn’t overwhelm her ability to separate them from her own thoughts. Maybe I’ll get the hang of this. That idea settled her anxiety. It was only three o’clock in the afternoon, but the day felt long. The intruding thoughts and the strong emotions set off by Sage’s press conference, along with the frustration of attempting to develop a relationship with Gavin had played wrastle tackle with her nerves. Her earlier idea about hitting the gym with Conrad reverberated through her, offering a much needed change of pace. She pulled out her cellphone from her purse and punched Conrad in her contacts.

  “Hey, Asia. What’s up?” The sound of his voice alone dissolved some of her tension.

  “Can you get away and join me at the Church Street Gym?”

  “Now? You have something to burn off?”

  “I do. When will you be free?” Excitement flittered through her body at the possibility of a solid workout.

  “I can meet you there in twenty minutes.”

  “Cool. I’ll see you there.”

  • • •

  Conrad’s heart weighed heavy in his chest. He wanted to let loose a loud, ear-splitting yowl, one that would come from deep inside, from the bottom of his feet.

  In the locker room at the gym he moved as though he were covered in molasses. His conversation with his parents still stabbed him deeply. Despite all his efforts to shed the wounds inflicted by his parents over his lifetime, here he was struggling with his imperfections and the knowledge that he couldn’t be the man they expected.

  Worst of all, he carried their harsh words about Asia, his closest friend. They’d compared her to a human, and he knew in their eyes that was the lowest being on the planet.

  It made him sick that he’d left their house and immediately hooked up with Cassandra. They’d met at the Park Hilton for a couple hours of pleasure. With Cassandra he didn’t have to think about anything or feel anything but the shallow pleasure of having sex with a woman.

  But it really wasn’t working very well anymore. Maybe Asia’s idea was catching. Maybe he could find himself, minus the flaws and wounds, in a meaningful relationship. But he knew better than to believe that kind of relationship could be had with a human. Michelle, Casey’s fiancée, was the exception. Humans as a whole hadn’t evolved into being capable of caring about others, especially if there wasn’t anything in it for them.

  He lifted his nose in search of one particular scent among the many, and instantly caught Asia’s. She was here.

  Out in the gym he promptly spotted Asia across the room, already in a heated round with the punching bag.

  The slightest lift of her nose clued him that she knew he had entered the gym, but her focus remained on the bag. In perfect form, she executed a jab, a cross, then drove up a punch, all in a smooth, flowing pattern, repeated over and over.

  He stood there, across the room, and noticed things. He knew she stood about five feet, six inches, but had she always been so lithe and lean? He’d known her for so long, but had he ever really seen her? Did he hold an appreciation for her taut abs, highlighted just now by her cropped, racerback sports bra top? Or held in admiration her firm behind beneath her boy-cut shorts, or her shapely legs?

  His gaze narrowed down to her face and he found it hard to swallow. Her face was a delicate mixture of high cheekbones, pert nose, and full lips. Her brown eyes sparkled with glints of green.

  Thank God she doesn’t read the colony cats’ thoughts.

  The moment of ogling Asia was innocent, as well as baffling, but he didn’t want her to know anything about it.

  He blinked hard and deliberate three times, then strode across the room to Asia. “It looks like the bag is winning,” he teased her.

  Asia turned swiftly on her heels and fake punched him with her gloved hand. “Not a chance.” She breathed heavily, in and out, balancing on one foot while she rested the other on her leg.

  “Good. Sorry I interrupted.” Conrad noticed the sweat beaded on her forehead dampening tendrils of her dark hair around her face. He knew he should say something. At the least, he should stop staring. “Your form is nice, aggressive.”

  “Thanks.” She swiped at her forehead and smiled up at him. “Your turn.”

  “Thanks for asking me to join you.” He eyed the heavy bag hanging in front of him, his muscles bunching, ready to work out the anger and the hurt from his lunch with his parents. “Did it help?”

  Asia’s eyes sparkled. “Yes.” She put a hand on the bag and nodded. “This may look like a punching bag but it’s a combination of Senator Sage, members of TNG, and a little bit of me.”

  Conrad chuckled. “Do you want to talk about it? Casey texted about the news from Sage.”

  Her eyes went dark. “No, I really don’t feel like talking.” She lifted her chin a notch, as though flexing her muscles could make her strong emotionally.

  “I understand.” He turned away and took a stance, one foot in front of the other, and shadow boxed to warm up his muscles. Adrenaline flowed like warm butter through his body, easing pent up emotions. He would never envision hitting his mother or his father, but it was the infuriation at their attitudes and attempt to manipulate him that fueled the solid whacks he delivered to the bag. Ha! Er! Boom, boom, ha!

  The surge of adrenaline now felt powerful. He swiped away sweat from his eye without missing a beat. His heavy
breathing and his pounding heart cleansed him of clogged emotions and displaced anger. He continued for another fifteen minutes, completely absorbed in his workout.

  His mind and body cleared, Conrad stepped away from the bag and scanned the room for Asia. She was sitting on a weight lift bench, breathing heavily. Her eyes met his and she smiled, beckoning him to join her.

  “You gave that bag a good go around,” she said, chuckling. “You looked like you needed the workout as much as I did. Feel better?”

  “I do. You?”

  “I’m getting there. I should get back to work.” She rose and stood in front of him. The curve of her shoulders led down to her muscled biceps. He scratched his head. Why had he not noticed her sculpted arms before?

  He brought his gaze up to hers. “Yeah, me, too.” She didn’t seem to notice his rapt attention on her physical attributes. Thank God. He felt so comfortable around her and he didn’t want to lose that by turning her into an object of desire. They’d both agreed on that long ago.

  “Thanks again for meeting me here. You’re a lifesaver. See you later.”

  She gave him one of her cheerful smiles and walked to the women’s locker room, leaving him standing alone in the wake of her unique scent. He got a whiff of sweat, but underneath it were notes of flowers and sunshine.

  In the men’s locker room, Conrad stripped and walked to the shower. He plunged his head under the spray, letting the water penetrate the strange thoughts of Asia. If he admitted it, he very much enjoyed the feelings of attraction—tripping pulse, flaring nostrils, and acute need to touch her. The heightened sensations woke in him feelings of manhood and being alive.

  Why now? After all the years of platonic friendship, why was Asia inexplicably teasing his senses? It was wrong. And he had to make it stop before he ruined everything he’d had with her since they’d met at the soup kitchen.

  He dressed and made a quick call to Kennedy to confirm he could stop by her house now, then headed to his car.

  Between the work out and the shower he’d been able to set aside his jumbled thoughts about his parents. He had serious work to do with Kennedy and he resolved to keep his mind and his body free of sensual contemplations of Asia.

  Chapter Six

  At the newspaper office, Asia stared blankly at the computer screen. Her interest at the moment was supposed to be on finding out more about Phoenix Biosciences and how TNG planned to utilize the property it recently purchased. Instead, her thoughts whirled in circles.

  The workout at the gym was intended to clear her mind of extraneous thoughts and emotions fired up from Senator Sage’s announcement. It did that. But it also stirred new awareness of Conrad. That blew her mind as effectively as had her expanded telepathy.

  From across the room at the gym, she’d tried to focus on lifting weights. But what really grabbed her attention was the way Conrad faced down his demons with the punching bag.

  From beneath his muscle tee, his chest muscles popped. With each cut and jab to the punching bag his biceps and triceps bulged. His muscles glistened with sweat. In his shorts his well-defined leg muscles powered through front kicks and roundhouse kicks to the bag. It all had been a concoction of manly beauty that made her squirm on the weight bench.

  Then the thoughts had come, penetrating her peace of mind.

  He’s gorgeous.

  Look at those muscles.

  I could do that.

  The thoughts from men and women in the gym had reminded her she was just as guilty of gawking at him as the others.

  Gawking was not part of her relationship with Conrad. Yes, she’d been aware he was an attractive man in human form, but it was part of the background. They were friends, not prospective lovers.

  Asia clamped down on her libido. Not now, not ever would they be lovers. That would mean she’d lose her best friend.

  She refocused, pulling her attention back to perusing the wire stories for clues about what Sage and his cronies with TNG were up to. In deep focus she scrolled through the stories. Then she saw a story that chilled her heart. Homeless people in the Laurelwood area were coming up missing. According to the article by one of her coworkers, shelters and soup kitchens had reported that the numbers of participants in their services had decreased steadily over the last few months. Asia ingested the article’s text, knowing with no doubt that this situation was the work of TNG.

  Could this be why she hadn’t heard from her mother recently?

  She punched in Aegar Investigations’ number and listened to the line ring.

  “Hello, Aegar Investigations. This is Michelle. Can I help you?”

  Words tumbled out on top of each other from her mouth. “Michelle, this is Asia. I need to talk to Sterling and Lacey.”

  “Certainly. They’re both here. Can you come right now to the office?”

  “Thank you, Michelle. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” She picked up her purse, grateful Michelle detected her urgency and she didn’t have to waste time explaining.

  The Aegar Investigations office was located a few blocks away from the Laurelwood Gazette. She left the newspaper office on foot, and in minutes she was walking into the sisters’ office.

  “Hi, Michelle.”

  Michelle was sitting at her desk, but gave Asia her full attention. “Come on in, Asia. I’ll let the sisters know you’re here.”

  “Sorry I was so brusque on the phone. I just found out my missing mother may be in grave danger.”

  “Oh, no. I’m so sorry to hear that. Come on in their office.”

  Sterling stepped from the private office to Michelle’s area. “What’s up, Asia? Come on in and have a seat.”

  Michelle followed with fresh coffee for Asia. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  “No, thank you.” Asia rubbed her forehead. Her mind was quiet except for her own thoughts. She didn’t know if she was getting better at filtering or if the sisters and Michelle were skilled at managing their thoughts, but right now relief sifted through her.

  Lacey stood and walked to Michelle. “Why don’t you grab a chair, too, Michelle? If you don’t mind, Asia.”

  “No, of course not. I’m sorry to come barging in like this. I just reacted to the news. If I’m right, this news affects the whole colony.”

  Sterling sat on the top of her desk and held Asia’s gaze. “What news?”

  “Are you three aware that my mother goes missing every now and then? She’s a substance abuser, always has been.” She dipped her gaze and lowered her voice. It was a nearly automatic reaction to anything to do with her mother. Keeping her real situation hidden had been a way of life, even though she was beyond that horrible lifestyle now.

  “No, I didn’t know that.” Sterling slanted her head. Her expression went soft. “I’m sorry to learn that, Asia. That must be hard for you.”

  “Yes, it always has been. But as an adult I’ve come to grips with my mother’s illness and addictions.” Asia surveyed the three women and saw only caring on their faces. “When she’s better she lives with me. But she’s not stable and when she’s drinking she tends to go away, sometimes for weeks, sometimes for months. Right now it’s been three months.”

  Lacey sat upright in her chair. “We wouldn’t presume to know what it’s been like for you. But you may not know that our father was killed when we were young and our mother barely functioned afterward. We took care of ourselves and kept Mom on track as best we could.”

  “Then you understand how hard it can be. I love her but sometimes I want to scream at her to stop her destructive behavior.” Tears swelled in her eyes. She brushed them away before they spilled down her cheeks.

  Michelle reached over to her and hugged her. It soothed the sorrow in her gut. “It’s okay, Asia. It’s a sad situation.”

  She drew in a deep breath and let it out. “I haven’t known where Mom has been, but I just read a wire story that reported missing homeless people. I have to tell Casey and the rest of the colony, but the first thi
ng I need to do is find Mom. So that’s why I’m here. Can you help me?”

  Sterling nodded. “Of course. You want us to find her, right?”

  Asia nodded. “I used to hunt her down when she went missing, so I have a few ideas about where you could start. But what scares me is that she may be one of the missing homeless people. She may have been kidnapped by TNG.”

  “Oh. That is serious.” Michelle’s eyes scanned between Sterling and Lacey and back to Asia. “Why do you think TNG may have your mother?”

  “When I saw that article it hit me as a gut instinct. TNG is one of the most malevolent elements in Laurelwood. I don’t know what the group would need humans for other than to experiment on. As experiment subjects, if something goes wrong, homeless people presumably wouldn’t be missed. If they are now experimenting on humans, it could mean they have plans to alter humans as well.”

  “Turning humans into ferocious warriors, too?” Sterling stared at Asia. “Nothing the group does would surprise me.”

  “The article said two homeless people were found wandering the downtown streets, getting nearly hit by cars. They were dazed and confused.” Urgency pulsed through Asia’s body. All this talk was necessary, but time was passing. “Of course, some homeless are that way anyway, but these two were picked up and taken to a shelter. They talked crazily about aliens sticking them with needles and being trapped. They didn’t know how they’d gotten away.”

  “Aliens?” Lacey frowned. “Could that be an interpretation of people in protective gowns, gloves, boots, and face masks?”

  Sterling pursed her lips. “It could be. Especially to someone who’s been drugged or suffers from mental disturbances.”

  “Good point,” Sterling said.

  Michelle’s body went rigid, her eyes unfocused.

  Asia clutched her throat. “Are you getting a glimpse, Michelle?” She wanted to know but she was half afraid to learn something terrible about her mother.

  Michelle closed her eyes. The room went silent for what seemed like forever to Asia.

  Her eyes open, Michelle rubbed her temple. “Remember, nothing I see is complete or for certain to occur.”