The House

by Anjuelle Floyd

  Edward dropped her hand. He lay back down, and again turned from her.

  “What’s wrong with me, Edward? Surely it’s not because I’m pregnant, that I’m a mother—the mother of your children? My mother is dying. My father is out of his mind with worry. Soon he’ll be alone.” Anna didn’t know quite what it was that her father would miss about her mother. What had drawn him to marry such a cold and soulless person?

  “You’re just like her, the two of you cut from the same cloth, you and Mama.”

  “I thought you said she didn’t like me?” Edward popped up. Redness filled the whites of his eyes surrounding his amber pupils.

  “Takes one to find one. One thief always knows another.”

  Edward jumped out of bed. “If I’m so much like your mother, why’d you marry me? The way you’re describing us sounds like you’ve got a fair amount of her in you.”

  “She is my mother.”

  “So what are you saying,” he yelled, “that you married me be cause I reminded you of your mother? Or of yourself?”

  “I’m saying I’m tired of being here alone while you travel around the world. Why can’t you focus on real estate here in Oakland, Berkeley, or San Francisco?”

  “And there aren’t women here, too?” A light flickered in Edward’s eyes and quickly died.

  Anna recalled how he had said, I’m not like your father. I’m immunized against poverty. I can’t promise much. I’ll give you a house. When learning Anna was pregnant with David he had stated, I won’t have my son growing up in an apartment. We’ll need a house, a home. Propelled by the memory, Anna had asked, “What is it with you and things—money?”

  “It takes money to keep this house and allow you to stay home and care for my sons. And in case you haven’t noticed, we have an other child on the way.”

  “These are my children.”

  He looked to her bulging stomach with what seemed vehement and disappointment. “Ownership does not bequeath capital. It takes capital to live.”

  “And what is our capital?” Anna asked. “Why aren’t we living as man and wife rather than as a two people under the same roof?”

  “Thank God we have one.”

  “But what keeps us, going as we do, under it?” Anna drew near. “Don’t you want something better?” Again she grasped her stomach, fearful of how all the negative energies between her and Edward would affect the child she was carrying. Despite the anger and frustration, she had grown warm and moist between her legs. There was something about Edward when angry that rendered him vulnerable—and attractive.

  “And what the hell is better?” Edward sat up and raised his arms as if to encompass the house. “This conversation is ridiculous.” He got out of bed and headed for the door. “Your father’s welcome to live here whenever he likes.” He pulled open the door and left.

  Anna ran her fingers across the name etched into the headstone, Reverend Elijah Fredrick Chason. Loving husband and father. Dedicated minister. Servant of God. 1910-1980. As the memory receded from the shores of her mind, Anna removed her wedding band. She considered burying it in the dirt near the headstone. But she could not. Instead, she placed it in her pocket and drove home.?

  Chapter 19

  The water kettle let out a piercing cry as Anna entered the kitchen. She slung her purse onto the chair at the table. “Want some?” Theo asked. He turned off the flame and poured steaming water into a mug.

  “Hot tea on a warm afternoon in Indian summer?” Anna walked to the counter.

  “It calms the nerves,” Theo said.

  Yours or mine? Anna wondered.

  Theo filled a second cup and smiled then said, “You look like you could use a tranquilizer.” He went to the table and sat. Anna lifted the second mug from the counter, filled it, and joined him at the table.

  “I assume that since the house is still standing, Matt and Grant never crossed paths,” Anna said. She stirred her tea, lifted the bag from the mug, and laid it on the saucer between them.

  “Oh they crossed paths all right. But I think by the time they did, it was obvious Serine had duped both of them.” Theo sipped his tea.

  He’s just a fuck buddy. Anna pushed Serine’s words into the back of her mind. “I can’t believe that girl. I’ve a good mind to—Where is she?”

  “Save your strength. Brad and Linda drove her to the airport. She’s headed back to L.A.,” Theo said.

  Anna blew across the brim of the mug. “Just like her father, running away from the consequences she created.”

  “I think she calls it being fair and staying neutral.”

  “On what?”

  “She didn’t want to give either Matt or Grant any ideas,” Theo said.

  “More than wearing Grant’s engagement ring? I’d never speak to her again if I were either of them. She’d better hope neither one kills her.”

  “I doubt that. They’re too much in love with her.”

  “Don’t you mean to say they each realize how much a waste of time she is?” Theo stared at her, as even Anna did not believe her own words. “I’m embarrassed,” she said.

  “From a man’s perspective, both Grant and Matt knew about Serine long before today. There’s no way each of them couldn’t have known the other existed, unless they didn’t want to.”

  “But Serine accepted Grant’s ring.”

  “Still, you can’t not know.” Theo held to his point.

  “So he’s battling for her, Grant?”

  “Or he’s avoiding something within himself, same as Matt.”

  “Like me with the women with whom your father was involved?”

  “Dad was your husband.”

  “He still is,” Anna said. “Only I refused to see who he really was.”

  “You said that,” Theo said.

  Anna flashed her left palm for him to remain silent. Theo noticed she wasn’t wearing her wedding band. Her words had revealed, and exposed, more than she had intended. Grant’s words returned. Serine was hurt that you decided to leave her father after all these years.

  Anna observed the surface of her tea, and wondered what it was about Theo’s marriage to Millicent, that allowed him such wisdom, and he was unwilling to see.

  “You’ve become a regular chef.” She decided to take the conversation in another direction. “Every time I look up, you’re in the kitchen.”

  “It calms the nerves.”

  “Like tea.” Anna took another sip, then sat her mug on the table. “Seriously. There are two reasons—no excuse me, three—that a person spends a lot of time preparing food. One, they’re a chef and truly love cooking. Two, they cook for their family because without them, everyone would starve. Or three, it provides a distraction, or calms the nerves, as you say.”

  “How about two and three?” Theo said.

  “Besides the merger of Millicent’s brokerage with Thelonius’ real estate company, how’s everything with Millicent?”

  “It’s beginning to get hard to tell.” He took a third sip then sat his cup on the table.

  Thelonius Regarde, Millicent’s father, had never seemed fully pleased with Millicent’s choice of Theo as a husband. It was as if Thelonius felt his one and only child had settled for less than she was worth. For this, Anna had not forgiven Thelonius, not that he had felt the slightest bit of contrition.

  Theo said of his wife, “She’s always held a rebellious streak to ward her father’s demands. That’s what I liked about her. Not that I want her to disrespect him. But now it seems she admires his success so much that she’s trying to emulate his every move.”

  Anna grew anxious. Besides her dislike for Thelonius, whom she regarded as a variation of Edward, Anna always feared Millicent would eventually evolve into a variation of her father, in short another Edward. Like Edward Manning, Thelonius Regarde had led a vibrant extramarital life, by which his wife, Henrietta, seemed unaffected. This had been the initial reason Anna had been against the marriage.

  “Thelonius recently a
pologized to Millicent’s mother,” Theo said. “Unlike Dad, he didn’t have to get sick to see the light. He’s admitted his past mistakes and made amends. But it’s presented a funny sort of twist in Thelonius wanting to bond with Millicent. It’s like she’s fallen in love with him. She’s got a new man in her life.” Anna’s younger son leaned back in his chair and sighed. “As for me, I’m steady Eddy. Why should she worry about me? I’ve no intentions of going anywhere. I come home every night at the same time, prepare dinner, and wait for her to show up.”

  Anna inhaled as her son described occupying the same role she had played with Edward.

  “Millicent and Thelonius spend hours and hours talking. First, it was to get to know him better. Now that they’ve merged the brokerage with Thelonius’ real estate company, she’s got the best explanation in the world for being with him. I was at work.”

  “Only work is with Daddy,” Anna mused.

  “Yeah. It’s like they’re having an affair,” Theo said.

  And they are. Anna knew it was figurative, symbolic of some thing deeper. Still she felt her son’s pain.

  “Have you spoken to her about it?”

  Theo chuckled. “About a dozen times each week. Like you, I’ve become accustomed to eating alone.” Theo gave a weary smile. His finger traced the edge of his cup. Fridays are the worst. Sometimes she doesn’t get home until three in the next morning, Saturday.”

  “This is why you call every Friday evening.” Anna grew sad. “Where are they?”

  “Always Saturno’s, the restaurant where I took Millicent on our first date. It’s open all hours on Fridays and Saturdays.” Theo turned to Anna. The hurt in his dark brown eyes deepened. “I worry about her coming home so late. Millicent says, `I’m just getting to know him.’ I tell her that we need to focus on our family. She claims that by knowing her father, she’ll be ready and prepared to settle down and be there for our children.”

  With Millicent spending so much time with Thelonius, Anna wondered how Theo and Millicent would ever have time to conceive.

  Theo said, “I never realized until after we were married that as a child, Millicent was really close with her godfather.”

  “The godfather who missed the wedding?” Anna recalled the stir that erupted at the event around his absence. Millicent had wanted the mysterious man to give her away. When he didn’t’ show, she became despondent, almost calling off her the nuptials. Anna, Edward, and Theo had not met Millicent’s godfather; they didn’t even know his name.

  “She’s always been tight-lipped about him,” Theo said. His eyes receded, revealing that the subject of Millicent’s godfather was a heavily discussed and threadbare topic between him and Millicent. “In our five years of marriage, she’s never told me his name. But I can tell they were close.”

  “How so?”

  “We can’t go anywhere in or around Chicago, and particularly if we’re having fun, without her mentioning, `Oh, yeah, my godfather and I came here one time. Or, I first came here with him.’”

  “Have you ever asked of his name?”

  “I’d be intruding if I did.” Theo turned to her. “It’s the same way with Thelonius and Henrietta. I never heard of her godfather be fore the wedding. Then, when he didn’t show, here she was about to call off everything for a man I didn’t know, and have never met. I sensed Henrietta was relieved he didn’t come. As for Thelonius, I’ve never seen him so hurt.” Anna had never heard about the matter in such detail.

  “Henrietta later told me that Millicent going through with the wedding in her godfather’s absence was a testament that Millicent truly loved me. I think about that now when I’m home alone,” Theo said. “Henrietta and Thelonius never mention Millicent’s godfather. And Millicent wouldn’t think to bring him up in their presence. The matter of his absence at the wedding nearly toppled Thelonius. He was afraid. Millicent apologized for her behavior after we returned from the honeymoon. I think that’s why she’s so happy and willing to be with Thelonius now.” Again Theo turned to Anna. “It’s like there’s this secret between Millicent, her mother, and father. It centers on Millicent’s godfather. The three have an understanding not to discuss it.”

  Theo finished off his tea, and went to kitchen. Tired and angry, Anna joined him at the sink where he was washing his cup.

  “This charade I’ve played with your father has hurt you, your sisters and David,” Anna lamented.

  “Leaving him wouldn’t have changed his behavior.” Theo held his cup under the stream.

  “But it would have signaled that I had more self-respect than to let him trample over me. It would have shown that I had confidence.”

  Theo turned to her. “Do you have more now that you’ve chosen to divorce him?” Confidence is what Anna surmised that Theo needed so he could leave Millicent. “Leaving Dad would have put you and us in a precarious position. It’s not easy as a single mother to make a living, certainly not one as prosperous as Dad’s.”

  Had Anna left Edward when her mind first contemplated the thought, when she had learned of his first affair, the one with Esther, Anna would have never conceived Theo. She swallowed and forced herself to hear Theo’s take on a rationalization that had played all too many times in her head. “You stayed, not because you were a martyr for justice or a glutton for punishment. You stayed with Dad because it was practical. You had four children who needed food, a roof over our heads, and schooling. Dad gave us the best.”

  “I stayed because I needed someone, a family, purpose. You, your sisters, and brother gave me that.” Theo’s problems with Millicent left Anna feeling she had failed at demonstrating what a healthy relationship truly looks like. “The best that your father provided hasn’t made you kids happy. If anything, it’s made you less sure of yourselves.” Long ago Anna had determined that a person like Millicent would exploit such a gift as Theo. Anna wanted Theo to leave Millicent. But Theo loved her.

  Theo confessed, “On my better days, I think I’m envious of what Thelonius is giving Millicent, what he’s done with Henrietta. That if I had my way, Dad—”

  “—would do the same with me. Admit he was wrong,” Anna said.”

  “Yeah, for starters, anyway,” Theo said. “Now that he’s sick and dying.”

  “There’s always hope.” Anna considered Edward’s words in light of the recent change in behavior. I was scared. I envied your ability to give so much of yourself, and to love. It’s undying, never changing, what I’ll miss when I’m gone.

  “Maybe now he will.” Theo said.

  Anna’s heart sank in considering all the recent drama, most particularly with Matt and Grant. Serine’s lies had ensued from Edward’s infidelity and also the fact that Edward was now dying.

  She said, “You and Linda have always been the forgotten two. Linda cried out in her suicide attempts. But you, you’ve always been my good child.” Lord, help me not to take Theo for granted.

  “I’m sure Serine and Millicent would disagree with you some times,” Theo chuckled.

  “I love Serine. But like your father, she’s drawn to infidelity and drama,” Anna said. Millicent too. “She’s remade herself in his image.”

  “Serine needs you, Mom. And, from Millicent’s perspective, I’m sure she’ll tell you I’ve got my moments. I have two parents. I’m not all you. And you are by no means a pushover. It took strength to stay with Dad despite his maneuvers.”

  If you only knew. Anna felt horrible that her pregnancies with Theo and his sisters had stemmed from having sex with Edward while fully aware of his unfaithfulness, attempts at gaining a commitment that Edward was unable to grant.

  “I’m sorry,” Anna said.

  “Don’t be. I’m glad I’m here, that I was born. Theo stroked her cheek. “I’m also proud to have you as my mother.”

  Anna leaned her head upon Theo’s shoulder and held him tightly. Would you say that If you knew about Inman??

  Chapter 20

  Anna slid under the covers. She was mo
urnful and embarrassed that her children, specifically Theo, knew so much about her low self-esteem and lack of confidence. It touched her that despite her foibles, Theo held a wisdom that understood and appreciated her battle to save her marriage. If only she could translate that strength into mending her life. Anna would help Theo thrive beyond the storm of Millicent. She would help Serine and David survive Edward’s death. Despite Brad’s obvious devotion, she would not forget Linda. Forever mothering.

  Anna’s mother, Elena, had hung on for eight weeks after surgeons had found the brain tumor having sown its seeds of death throughout her body. Anna had delivered Linda, Elena’s first grand daughter, a week before Elena died. During Linda’s turbulent adolescence, Anna feared Linda’s penchant toward ending her own life lay rooted in the chaos of Elena’s sickness and the problems of Anna and Edward’s marriage. Anna drove her father to and from the hospital each day during those last two months of Elena’s life. Fearful of the evil spirits she sensed lurking in Elena, Anna did not go inside the hospital and visit Elena. Elijah had been unrelenting of Anna’s avoidance of her mother.

  Anna was driving him home one day after visiting Elena at Berkeley General when Reverend Elijah said, “She’s asking about you. Why won’t you come to see her?”

  “You need your time with her,” Anna said. She slowed the car to a halt at the intersection of Telegraph and Alcatraz Avenues.

  “I’ve had my time. She wants to see you,” Elijah said. The light turned green and she turned onto Alcatraz Avenue. The Reverend placed his hands upon his daughter’s full and pregnant abdomen. He said, “I hope this one is a girl.”

  “I don’t.”

  Her father tilted his head to the side then turned toward the passenger window. “I wanted more children. Your mother didn’t.”

  “Why?” Anna’s fear and dislike of her mother drove her to uncover what made Elena tick.

  “She said she had only enough love for one child,” Reverend Elijah explained. “That you were a girl made it all the more difficult.”