Courtesan

by S. C. Daiko

  The man must have taken leave of his senses. ‘I’m paid through to Constantinople.’

  He laughed, revealing blackened teeth. ‘Those eardrops got you to Alexandria, but no farther. All the way to the City will cost you five solidi.’

  I could have earned that money on my back. I knew I could. But, never again! I swore to myself there and then I would not return to a life of whoredom. Two brawny sailors took me by each arm and lifted me off the boat.

  Seeking solace and succour, I made my way towards the Basilica of Alexandria. Inside all was silent, except for the sound of waves beating on the shore outside. The altar towered at the far end of the nave, an island in a sea of ancient mosaics. I fell to my knees, eyes closed and hands clasped before me. Without thinking, I began to move my lips in prayer. And then I cried. I wept at my humiliation and my stupidity. I sobbed great heaving sobs, keening for the loss of my soul. I felt empty, like a shell. I didn’t know if I’d ever be Theodora again.

  Something shuffled behind me. I turned to see a black-robed priest, eyes shiny and dark in a wrinkled face. I moved to stand, but he waved me to stay. ‘Can I help you, my child?’

  I glanced at the cross around his cassock, and shook my head. If I told him my story, he would probably throw me from his church. I’m nothing. Empty. Not worthy. ‘I was just about to go,’ I said, getting to my feet.

  He tucked his hands inside his wide sleeves, and his eyes crinkled with kindness. ‘I see you need assistance.’

  I laughed, even though my situation wasn’t remotely funny. ‘I am completely destitute.’

  ‘God helps all those who ask.’

  ‘I have heard that. But not in my case. I am beyond redemption. Damned to the fires of Hell.’

  ‘Our Father in Heaven has seen every sin under the sun, my dear. And He came down on earth to die for us sinners so that we might be saved.’

  I told the priest everything, daring him to tell me there was no hope. To his credit, he barely flinched. He asked my name then told me his: Severus. And I remembered he was the Patriarch of Antioch deposed by the Emperor for what the Church of Rome calls heresy, the belief that the Christ was fully God.

  To cut a long story short, as they say, I stayed in a nearby convent for two years, learning to spin wool and studying the catechism in preparation for Christian confirmation. That was when I met Timothy, Patriarch of Alexandria. He said the Church needed me, that I had great things ahead of me. A mission. And so here I am.

  ***

  Justinian takes her in his arms and holds her close. He’s heard of what happened to her before, but her telling of the tale has brought home to him how raw and brutal it was. His heart goes out to her. He kisses the salt from her troubled eyes, and strokes her silky hair back from her face. ‘Look at me, my sweet. Your story tells me that you are a natural submissive. It was your misfortune to come across Hecebolus. He was a bad master and abused your trust. I meant to tell you, my love. That despicable man is dead.’

  She lets out a gasp. ‘You… You didn’t?’

  ‘What? Have him killed? No, he died of heart problems, so I heard.’ But if he was alive now, I would strike the bastard down.

  She shifts position, her eyes a little brighter at this news. ‘I’m not sorry. He treated me like a whore and made me feel like one.’

  He tilts her chin and kisses it. ‘St Augustine tells us no one can ever control your will, even if they are able to control your body. If the soul is pure and virtuous, then it cannot be lost – even if the body is desecrated.’

  ‘My body was sullied against my will. Thank God I went into that church in Alexandria. Meeting Severus, and then Timothy was my salvation.’

  ‘Your soul is pure, Theodora.’ He kisses her on the forehead. On the cheek. On the side of her mouth. ‘No defilement of the body can ever destroy your purity.’

  She holds his face in her hands. ‘Tonight, Justinian. Tonight I would like us to lie together without fucking. Do you think we can manage that?’

  ‘Oh, my darling Theo. I most certainly do! Let us go to my chamber.’

  In his bedroom, he disrobes, pulling off his tunic and letting it drop to the floor.

  She reaches up to unpin her hair. He helps her out of her dress and unties her undergarment. Her compact body glows in the light of the oil lamps. He carries her to the bed and they stretch out, arms around each other, skin on skin. The heady scent of her perfume lifts from the curtain of her hair. He looks into her gold-flecked eyes. ‘I love you so much. I love you. I love your beautiful soul. I love everything about you, Theodora.’

  ‘I was so afraid you’d change your mind when you heard the sordid details of my story.’

  ‘Nothing could make me stop loving you, Theo. Nothing.’

  He kisses her, a slow gentle kiss. His palms catch the undersides of her breasts and he cups them. Her murmur of pleasure rumbles against his lips.

  She presses herself against him, caressing his shoulders, trailing her hands down his back to curl around his buttocks, raining soft kisses down his chest.

  He runs his tongue from the tips of her delightful toes, up the length of her slim calves, across her firm hips, to arrive at her delicious breasts again. Her nipples stiffen as he strokes one and gently sucks the other, drawing on it so that elongates against his tongue.

  She lets out a soft moan. ‘Oh, Justinian, that feels lovely.’ He runs his tongue up her inner thigh, just outside her cunny lips, then across her belly and down the other thigh.

  He kisses behind her knees, then the soles of her feet. After running his hands up her legs ahead of his kisses, he touches his lips to her hipbones again, and finally, at last, to her core. Just a kiss, though, his lips stroking her entrance, then a single shallow lap of his tongue.

  He returns to her side and holds her to him until her breathing stills, gently stroking her back and whispering how much he loves her.

  Without warning, she wriggles from his embrace. ‘Lie still, Justinian. I’ve changed my mind. I want to give you pleasure.’

  Straddling him, she settles her cunt against his prick. He clamps his legs together, lifts his buttocks off the bed, and pushes back at her until he’s fully inside.

  ‘I feel you, Justinian. I feel you. And it feels good. So, so good.’ She arches her spine, closes her eyes, and throws her head back as she rocks herself up and down. Leaning forward, her taut nipples brushing his chest, she strokes his face. Her lips pull at the skin of his neck and she gives him light kisses behind the ear.

  He fondles her breasts, then holds onto her arms. Their bodies move as one. Her legs are pressed to his hips, holding him exactly where she wants him. He pushes back as she rides his cock, sliding herself up and down his pulsing shaft. A low growl escapes his throat. ‘Do you love me, Theodora? Do you love me?’

  ‘I love you so much, Justinian. I love you so much.’ She leans down and kisses him on the lips, slipping her tongue into his mouth.

  ‘Oh God, Theo, I can’t hold out any longer. I’ve got to climax.’

  ‘Yes, Justinian. Break for me!’

  A tremor runs down his legs. He lunges forward, his hot seed spurting up and into her at the same time as her cunny walls clench against his pulsing cock, milking him, and milking him, until every last drop is inside her delightful quim.

  She lowers herself, so that she’s lying on his chest. Smoothing her hair, he whispers. ‘It will work out, my darling. You’ll see. We’ll marry and one day I’ll make you Empress.’

  IX

  I’ve spent all afternoon getting ready; Hilda has bathed me, plucked me free of body hair, and massaged me from head to toe. Standing naked in my chamber, allowing the oil scented with essence of jasmine she rubbed on me earlier to absorb into my skin, I feel a prickle of disquiet. Tonight, a week after Justinian made the suggestion, we’re hosting a dinner for the Emperor and Empress.

  Justinian comes into the room, and, as ever, my breath catches at the sight of him. His tunic stretches tight acro
ss his broad chest, and his sea-green eyes flicker over my nakedness. ‘You’re ready for me, I see.’ He smiles and cups my right breast, pinching the nipple as he brushes a kiss to my lips. ‘You smell divine, my darling.’

  Gulls scream outside, the hum of the City drifts in through the window. I breathe in the heavenly scent of this man. This beautiful man. Justinian and I have made such sweet love for the past week. He no longer asks me to submit to him. And I find that I’m missing the thrill of it. He’s probably right: I must be a natural submissive for I want his punishments. They’re what made me trust him when I was still hurting from what happened with Hecebolus. Justinian has more punishments in store for me, hopefully. But first I have to get through the ordeal of this dinner. I gently take his hand from my bosom and kiss it. ‘What have you been up to this afternoon?’

  A glint in those lovely eyes. ‘Arranging a couple of surprises for you.’

  ‘Oh? Please tell me!’

  He laughs and pecks me on the lips. ‘Later, my darling.’

  ‘I hope I won’t let you down tonight.’

  ‘How could you possibly let me down?’

  ‘You know the Empress doesn’t approve of me.’

  ‘Her opinion doesn’t matter. I was speaking with my uncle yesterday. He’s impressed with you. Not only did you bring the consular celebrations in under budget, but you managed to fool the people into thinking more money had been spent on them than ever before.’

  ‘I’m like any good actor. I believe you should be able to make something out of nothing, light from shade, rich cake from dry bread. You know the sort of thing.’

  ‘Ah, but the Palace isn’t used to such impressively lavish economy. It’s one of the reasons my uncle has warmed to you.’

  ‘One of the reasons?’

  ‘That and your delicious breasts. Although he hasn’t said so in as many words, I know where his tastes lie.’

  I laugh. ‘If you say so. But I hope he’ll convince the Empress I’m not as bad as she seems to think I am.’

  ‘My aunt is a stubborn, jealous woman.’ He pauses. ‘I’ll go now to wait in the atrium, my darling. Join me there when you’re dressed.’

  Hilda slips a plain white tunic over my head and I hold out my arms for her to drape me in my silk stola, the colour of burnt-orange. She pins pearls to the gossamer veil tucked over my hair, and loops Justinian’s gold necklace around my neck.

  He’s waiting for me at the entrance to the building with Antonina and Belisarius. I stand next to him as the sound of horns announces the arrival of the Royal couple. There must be at least a hundred servants and slaves preceding the imperial sedan chair, strewing violet petals on the paving stones. Such pomp and ceremony! The gold-plated sedan comes to a stop. Two slaves scurry to open the doors, while two more spread out a narrow carpet of raw silk.

  The Emperor emerges, and holds out his hand to the Empress. She’s like a gaudy peacock, covered in garnets and rubies, and she even looks like a bird with her beaky nose and small dark eyes. After I prostrate myself, I walk with Justinian behind Justin and Euphemia towards the stairwell. Antonina and Belisarius follow us. I’ve arranged for dinner on the roof terrace, so that we can all enjoy the view. Summer is coming to a close already, and it will not be long before the frosts bite. Best take advantage of the opportunity while there is still time.

  A soft breeze stirs the air up here, a golden sunset gilding the Sea of Marmara. Pelicans swoop and dive into the harbour below. I share Justinian’s couch as slaves arrive with our first course of baked apricots oozing goats’ cheese. I spent hours creating the menu with Denderis, my major-domo; I want everything to be perfect.

  Torches are lit and wine is poured. We make small talk, the six of us. Antonina leans towards me and whispers, ‘Justinian is besotted with you.’ And I know that he is, as I am with him.

  The second course is served: legs of mutton, sticky with cinnamon and wine, slow roasted on a low fire. The Emperor devours a chunk from his knife. ‘Hmm. Delicious.’ He chews, swallows and gives a satisfied belch. ‘Are you enjoying life at Hormisdas Palace, Theodora?’ His rheumy eyes are on my breasts, and I hide my amusement behind my hand.

  ‘I’m enjoying it very much, thank you.’

  ‘More enjoyable than the brothel, certainly,’ the Empress mutters.

  ‘As you would know,’ I whisper.

  I glance at Justinian. Have I overstepped the mark? A smile is tugging at his lips and I give an inward sigh of relief.

  A tall slave arrives and hands a green silk bag to Justinian. He offers it to me and I take it from him. The bag is gorgeous, embroidered with gold daisies so tiny that mice might have stitched them. I open the bag and gasp. Red sandals! The red sandals of a Kyria! I’m speechless.

  Justinian grins. ‘I delivered the parchment and lead seals, proclaiming your elevation to the patrician class, to the offices below the Hippodrome this afternoon.’

  Euphemia chokes on her wine, her face puce. ‘Preposterous!’

  The Emperor pats her on the back. ‘It’s within a consul’s powers to elevate any worthy citizen to the rank of patrician, my dear.’

  Justinian gives his aunt a stern look. ‘It seemed only right that I make Theodora a noblewoman. That way I can marry her.’

  Euphemia gets to her feet and shakes a finger. ‘You can’t marry her.’ Her voice rises to a screech. ‘She’s a filthy whore! You should hear the stories about her. They say she’s insatiable and slept with thirty-six men all at once. Besides there’s a law. A man of senatorial rank, including a consul, cannot marry an actress even if she does become a patrician.’

  Oh God, I knew the tale would get out. What’s repeated in the market at first light is carved into stone as truth by evening. I want to tell the Empress I didn’t sleep with the men and that they abused me, but I bite my tongue. There’s no point raking up dirt.

  Justinian takes my hand and squeezes my fingers. The warmth of his touch soothes me. ‘Theodora has kept her dignity and grace despite her past misfortunes, Aunt. I’d like my uncle to change the law so that I can marry her. We love each other dearly.’

  The Empress gives a haughty sniff. ‘If you marry her, God’s blessing or not, you’ll sully our family’s good name. I won’t allow it.’

  Anger surges through me. How dare she speak about me as if I’m not here? I meet her gaze, the decision made. ‘I would be honoured to marry Justinian.’

  He puts his arms around me. ‘Did you hear that, Uncle? Theodora has consented to be my wife.’

  The Emperor rises. He clears his throat. ‘Thank you for dinner, Theodora. The Empress and I will take our leave now. I must bow to her wishes.’ He holds out a hand to Euphemia, and they head for the stairwell, their attendants in tow.

  Justinian murmurs under his breath. ‘She’ll pay for this.’

  My skin prickles.

  ***

  The silver platters have been cleared, the wine goblets removed, the cushions from the couches taken back downstairs, and the torches extinguished. Justinian and I are alone on the terrace at last. We’ve sat through a thorough dissection of the Empress’ attitude delivered by Antonina, who reached the conclusion that Euphemia lacks the intelligence of a flea. Belisarius couldn’t get a word in edge-ways, and I doubt that he wanted to. To speak ill of the Empress could be construed as treason. Even Justinian held his tongue.

  A rumble of thunder, and warm needles of rain fall from the night sky. Justinian covers me with his body, his breath soft on my ear. ‘You have no idea how happy you’ve made me, Theo.’ He pulls something from the pocket of his tunica. A flash of lightning illuminates a gold ring with his insignia pressed into the metal. I gasp as he slips it onto my finger. ‘I’ve commissioned a marriage belt in your size to match this.’ Rivulets of rainwater run down his nose; his hair is plastered to his forehead.

  ‘You’re so confident that we will be wed.’

  ‘Trust me, my darling. It is our destiny.’

  And somehow, I kno
w that it is so. How and when, though, I cannot imagine. ‘Let’s go inside, my love. We’re getting rather wet.’

  He takes me by the hand, leading me into a room I haven’t visited before. ‘I’ve prepared this place for us. If you agree, it will be our special place, a place for you and me. I know this is what you need, Theodora. Handing yourself over to my domination, trusting that I’ll take care of you, that’s what has helped you to heal. Am I right?’

  With a quickening heart, I nod and stare at heavy iron chains hanging from the ceiling, leather shackles clipped halfway down. Excitement sparks my breasts, and I feel my nipples tighten. I want punishment. I really want it. I adore the sweetness of our lovemaking, of course I do, but this is what I’ve been missing. What I’ve been craving. Justinian’s darkness.

  He goes to the corner. A whip is leaning against the wall. Almost lovingly, he picks it up and brings it to me. ‘As you know, I am a master at this, my sweet. We’ll start slowly. I’ll build you up over time. But only if you want me to. I’ll need you to get into your subservient role. You will call me “sir” and submit at all times in this room. Do you agree?’

  ‘Oh, yes, sir. Yes!’ I break into a smile. A smile of pure joy. I’ll be able to forget who I was, who I am, who I might become whilst he punishes me. ‘I want to submit, sir.’

  ‘Good girl. Hold up your arms.’ He lifts off my stola and my tunic. His nostrils flare as he braids my wet hair in a thick plait which he knots at the end. He cups my buttocks, and pinpricks of pleasure dance across my skin. My sheath is on fire.

  Taking my wrists in one hand, he raises them above my head and fastens first one and then the other into the leather cuffs. My arms are stretched, but my feet are firmly on the floor. ‘These chains are strong and secured well,’ he says. ‘They take my weight easily. Lean into them for support when you need to.’

  ‘Yes, sir. I will, sir.’

  He tilts my chin and kisses me, slipping his tongue into my mouth, pressing hard so that my lips feel bruised. A jolt goes down to my quim.