by Ashley Cruse
I grabbed the glass that sat in front of Bruce. He tried unsuccessfully to intercede, but I stepped out of his reach. When Corey turned to face me, I threw the contents of the glass all over him.
“This is the whore you been cheating on me with?” I shouted at him. “That fat, lumpy, Oompa-Loompa-lookin’-ass bitch!”
I hurtled insult after insult, destroying this bitch’s self-esteem. Or doing my best to, anyway. I was disgusted by his latest choice. She had better be half the woman I was, because by the looks of it, he had traded in his Benz for a beat-up Buick.
“Man, bitch! What the fuck?” Corey stood up.
Before he had a chance to grab me, I grabbed their table and flipped that ho over. Bitch? I was about to show him exactly what this bitch was about.
“Fuck you!” I yelled at him.
I had seen the pudgy girl act like she was going to rush me, so I turned to face her. “What, bitch?” I threw my hands up at her, and she quickly backed up.
Tammy let me know that security was making its way over. I threw one more dirty look at Corey, shot him the middle finger, yelled from the top of my lungs that I was done with his dusty ass, and followed Tammy out of the club.
Chapter 19
By the next morning news had traveled around Abilene about my run-in with Corey. He had called my phone one thousand times, but I had my ringer off. I woke up around ten and hopped in the shower. Then I brewed myself a cup of coffee while I finished getting ready for work. As I sat down in the living room to drink my coffee and read the paper, my cousin Victoria came into my aunt and uncle’s house.
Victoria headed in the direction of my bedroom, bypassing me altogether. When she came back into the living room, I knocked twice on the coffee table. She was so dingy, I had to laugh. How had she not seen me sitting right here? The laughing was short lived, though. The throbbing in my head only got worse when I chuckled.
When she spotted me, she blurted out, “What the hell happened?”
I shushed her, signaling to her that I had a slight hangover. She instantly walked over to where I was sitting and plopped down right beside me.
She lowered her voice. “It’s all over Abilene. You showed the fuck out at the Pub. How’d you find out?”
I took a sip of the bitter black coffee and pursed my lips. A bit of confusion coursed through me. I needed clarification on that question she had just asked me. I hoped my own fuckin’ family member wasn’t asking me what I thought she was.
“What you mean?” I said.
Vic’s eyes grew big. She knew she had just made a big mistake. My eyes were trained on her. She was going to let me know today what the hell she meant by what she had just said. How could something be all over Abilene that I had supposedly found out about when I didn’t even fucking know what the hell she was talking about? What the hell had she meant when she said that?
“How’d you find out Corey was fuckin’ with Ten?” she said.
“What the hell you mean, Vic? Who the fuck is Ten?”
I was beginning to get very upset again. But as my mood worsened, the pounding in my head did as well. I had a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach about who this Ten chick was. I had a funny feeling that this Ten bitch was that Tenosha bitch he had claimed he was staying with due to his daddy putting him out. How the fuck could I be so blind to his bullshit!
“Tenosha, that chick Corey moved in with. I thought it was a rumor, because you hadn’t mentioned it. Then I saw Corey, Bruce, Majesta, and Tenosha in your truck one night, selling dope out of it,” Victoria revealed.
Bingo! I narrowed my eyes at her. This so-called man I was with had been playing me for an ain’t-nothing-ass dope girl? My own family had known about it and hadn’t even told me? Victoria had seen that nigga selling drugs out of my fuckin’ transportation and hadn’t even called and given me a heads-up? What type of shit was that? I didn’t know if I should be upset that he was dogging me the fuck out for trash in the yard or if I should be angry that she hadn’t even told me this when this shit first popped off and she saw it live, in the flesh.
“Victoria! How the fuck you know all this shit and ain’t said one word?” I screamed at her. That made my headache worse.
I got up and immediately called Tammy. I asked her if she could handle my workload for me if I called in. When she gave me the assurance that she could, I called Jerry to let him know I wasn’t going to be in. I hardly ever called in to work. When I had to, though, Jerry never asked questions. He was family oriented, which was a major plus for me. The fact that he was like this was something I never took advantage of. However, today skipping work was a must. I wasn’t going to be able to be productive with all this extra shit going on around me.
“Man, I’m sorry, Dollie. I didn’t think you wanted to know that.”
“Fuck that, Vic. He disrespected me. As a matter of fact, that ho-ass nigga been doing this shit and clowning me behind my back while everybody smiles in my face like nothing is even going on. So now I need to even the score. Last night wasn’t enough.”
“I’m coming with you. I don’t have to go to the bakery until four.”
I went into my bedroom and quickly grabbed two Excedrins. I headed to the kitchen, took the Excedrins with some water, and poured some coffee into a Styrofoam cup so I could continue to nurse my hangover. Headache or not, everybody was about to feel my pain.
“Let’s ride to the neighborhood. I’m jumping out on the first ho out of that group I see,” I told my cousin.
Victoria and I got into her Beetle and headed over to the hood that One Tre Mafia ran. We rode up and down the streets for about thirty minutes and kept passing by Tenosha’s house. It looked like either nobody was there or they weren’t coming outside anytime soon. Two blocks down, my cousin pulled her car over and pointed at a real bright-skinned female. She was standing outside, talking on a cordless phone.
“Remember her? She’s Majesta, one of Ten’s real good friends,” Victoria informed me.
That was all my cousin had to say. I exited the car and instantaneously ran up on her. Majesta saw me and slowly backed up in the direction of her front door.
“Don’t say shit to me,” I yelled. I could feel my voice get higher and higher. “You fuck with Tenosha? That bitch has been in my ride, and from what I hear, you were too. What’s up? You bitches can’t afford to get your own shit? You think that shit is cute to sell work out my shit? A vehicle I grind my ass off to keep and maintain?”
“It ain’t even like that—” Majesta began, but I cut her off.
“Don’t explain yourself. I ain’t mad at you. You let your little homegirl know that if she was any kind of a woman, she’d come holla at me. As a matter of fact, if Corey was any kind of a man, he should have kept it real from the gate. Your little nothing-ass friend will have to see me one day. Bet on that.” I turned around and got back into my cousin’s ride.
We drove off and stopped at the gas station on the Mafia’s territory. My cousin jumped out and went inside to pay for her gas. I stayed behind, trying to calm my nerves down. Just then, I saw Drew and his girlfriend pull up at the tank beside mine. He got out, ready to pump. Koa walked inside to pay. I got out of the car and walked over to him. Tenosha was Drew’s sister, which meant he knew what was going on. I could feel myself getting irate by the minute as I put all the pieces to this infidelity together. The number of individuals who knew or were involved was embarrassingly fucked up.
Drew saw me coming, and he started to speak. The look on my face silenced him. He didn’t ignore me after that, and no matter if he wanted to talk about things or not, I had questions to ask. I deserved answers. I broke the ice, beating him to the punch and speaking first.
“I guess we weren’t ever friends,” I stated, watching him closely.
“Dollie, it wasn’t my place to tell you.”
I laughed hysterically at him in a fake, sarcastic way. “I’m sure. Out of all his friends, I liked you the most. I thought you were a f
riend of mine. Now I see you tiptoeing around, trying to hide relationships from me. So we ain’t friends?” I stood there, waiting for him to reply, but he just shook his head.
“That’s my sister, and that’s my homeboy. I’m cool with you too, but damn. That wasn’t my business to interfere like that. I got my own damn problems.” The pump turned on for Drew, and he began to put gas in his car.
My cousin came out of the store, and following closely behind her was Drew’s girl. I knew Koa was real catty. I didn’t give a damn, though. Today was not the day for her psycho ass to be fucking with me. Given the way I was feeling, anybody who popped off could get it.
“Don’t we all got problems? Sucks for you,” I sneered at him.
As I turned to head back to my ride, Drew called my name.
I looked back at him. “What, Mr. Problems of My Own?”
“For what it’s worth, Doll, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. If you were my girl, I wouldn’t treat you like that. I really am sorry.”
“Aren’t we all?” I responded as I slid into the passenger-side seat.
I was shocked about what Drew had said, and I instantly thought about apologizing to him. Taking it all back. Just like that, though, I abandoned that thought. I did have to be a rational thinker. Nobody could make a grown-ass person do something they didn’t want to do, whether it was right, wrong, or indifferent. Just like I had family, that girl was his sister. At the end of the day, my anger was not meant for him. But I figured I would run into him again when tensions were not so high. I would take back the retort I had flung at him then.
When Vic was done pumping the gas, she got back in the car and took me back to the house. After she dropped me off, I let myself back into the house and locked myself in the refuge of my bedroom. I called my son to speak with him for a minute. It was good to know that at least somebody loved me. After I hung up with his grandma, I turned my cell phone off. I took off my clothes and put on a night T-shirt. I cut on my TV and got under my covers.
That was when the humiliation really hit me. Mortification over being played flooded through me. The burning truth tore through my heart, as if somebody was deliberately stabbing me over and over again with a butcher knife. The pain I felt was unbearable, but it hurt like hell only on the inside.
The emotional pain I felt from the wound forming in my heart shot through me, and I tried so hard to fight back the tears. My mind was telling me that Corey wasn’t worth it. My heart was truly damaged, because I loved him. His betrayal had destroyed me. His impudence and dishonesty had slaughtered me inside. I couldn’t do it anymore. I turned the volume up on my TV and buried my face in my pillow. There I sobbed until I fell into a bottomless sleep. Anything to escape the throbbing of my injured heart.
Chapter 20
Tenosha
Corey, Majesta, and I were eating at the Taco Bell restaurant in Eastland. Bobbie had the kids for the week, so I didn’t have to hurry back home. Corey had met a new connect through one of his big homies. The guy he was going to go through would travel only as far as Eastland. That meant when it was time to re-up, we were going to have to hop on that highway and drive here. His product was good, and it was guaranteed to bring in the money, so we were down for whatever.
I was starting to get the hang of this dope game. Some of Corey’s licks called my phone. I would often make the deliveries by myself whenever shit got too busy and hectic. Most of the time when our clientele was not blowing us up, I’d be with Corey. When we didn’t have a babysitter for the kids, I’d stay home, and Corey would go with Majesta or my brother-in-law. On those occasions I had to handle our good clientele, those who were allowed to come to the house. We were selling four bars and tabs, and I would handle the pills from the house. The homies were always on them. They were always looking for some, and since we now always had them, they pretty much became our customers. It was easy money and a no-brainer.
Corey seemed to be happy with me. He was always buying me things. I always had a new pair of Jordans or the latest Nikes. I was able to get my toes and fingernails done whenever I wanted. And the best part was, I did not have to work. I also saw a big difference between Corey and my baby daddy. Corey always had me with him, like he was proud of what he had. I was his arm candy. He often called me his pretty young thang. That made me feel so special and amazing. My baby daddy was nothing like that. I had to admit, being wanted always felt good.
Ten minutes into our meal, my nigga’s phone began to ring. Corey told us to sit tight and exited the building. The dude had arrived, and Corey went to make the exchange. Majesta went to get a to-go bag while I threw our trash away. She came back with a nice-size bag and collected the food we hadn’t finished eating. She put everything into the bag.
We left the restaurant and headed to Majesta’s grandma’s Lincoln Town Car. Corey hadn’t been able to get the bitch’s truck for a couple of days. That had left us in a rut. We were always having to spend money to get a dope fiend rental, or we had to bargain with somebody to use their car. I had to admit, this hindered business a little, but we were still able to get around. We both hopped inside the ride and waited on Corey to finish handling business. A few minutes later, he got out of the connect’s ride and leaped into the backseat of the Town Car.
“Baby,” he said, puffing hard, like he was out of breath. “I got two hundred Lortabs, a bottle of Tussionex, and some dope.”
I knew when we got to the house, I was going to have to cook up white stuff. I was ready to make some money, though. As we drove, Corey was on his phone, calling around to see if he could get us into another car.
“Why y’all can’t get the truck?” Majesta whispered.
I shrugged my shoulders and rolled my eyes. Using that truck was good for us. I just hated that it belonged to her. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong by being in it. At the same time, Corey didn’t seem to care. I was always in it, and sometimes, I even drove it. So I knew he couldn’t have cared for her if he was doing the game like that.
When we arrived in Abilene, my homegirl dropped us off. Drew arrived at the same time we were letting ourselves into the crib. Drew and I headed into the kitchen. He helped me get started cooking the product. Corey used my brother’s girlfriend’s car to hit some licks across town, promising to return as soon as he could.
By the time Corey got back, Drew and I had just about all the dope cooked. I heard him tell my brother to take him to Tye to get a dope fiend rental. Then he came in and kissed me.
“I’m gonna leave to get us this car. I’ll be back.” Corey gave me a smooch and left.
While he was gone, I cleaned up the kitchen. I made sure to wipe all the crack residue off of everything on the counters, the utensils and the pot we had used, and the microwave. I also decided to do a little housekeeping. I cleaned the bathroom and took out the trash.
Corey came back and decided we were going to go out tonight to relax. He told me he was sleepy and was going to take a nap. While my baby was asleep, I made 150 dollars off of his phone for us. I kept the money in our stash, which helped us both calculate how much we had made back so far.
An hour and a half later, Corey got up, energized and ready for the night. He had called Bruce and Justine and had asked them to go out with us. Drew and his girl were beefin’ with each other, like always, so we knew Drew’s hands were tied for the night and they wouldn’t be joining us. Nobody wanted to be around Koa when she was in a bad mood, anyway.
I decided to hop in the shower. I straightened my hair real quick. Since I hadn’t done any laundry this week, I was forced to dress very casually. I decided to iron a white T-shirt and crease up my black Dickies. I was going to go relaxed tonight, toss back a few drinks, and enjoy some time with my man.
Before we headed out to the Pub, we all took pictures of each other. I knew we were going to have the best time of our lives that night. Or that was how I felt it should be. Corey decided to pay for everybody’s way in, but Bruce insist
ed that he was going to buy our drinks.
Bruce found us a table right away. We all claimed our seats around it. Just then Corey received a text message. He read it and smiled hard at his screen.
“My little sister sent me a picture of my nieces,” he announced.
I leaned in and took a look. All of a sudden, I saw a drink fly all over Corey, drenching his phone in the process.
Stunned, I jumped out of my seat and looked up. Dollie was standing there, screaming at the top of her lungs. She was pissed, and her little bitty voice was booming from rage. Her tiny, soft-spoken ass was lit up like a ferocious lion. I was stuck, not really sure how I was supposed to react. I was frozen in place.
I frantically looked around and saw that people had stopped what they were doing to watch. I tried to approach her to get her to lower her voice. She was mad, and on the cool, she should have known what was going on. There was no way no female would be that naive in this situation. Corey was never with her, was always in her truck, and was right there with me, where he belonged. I was somewhat surprised that it had taken her slow ass this long to figure out what was going on.
The bitch noticed me coming toward her, and she assumed a stance like she was going to fight me. She was enraged, was seething with anger, and her fists were clenched. She looked like she was ready to whup my ass. I froze in my tracks, and her fury sent a shiver down my spine. By then, everybody in the entire club was observing us. The security guards came rushing toward us. I backed up, in hopes of preventing any more drama.
Just then, Dollie and her redheaded friend stormed out of the building, with no assistance from security. Dollie had flipped over our table, causing our drinks to fall on the floor. Corey was staring at the door through which Dollie had exited. For a minute, I thought I saw a wave of sadness in his eyes. At just that moment, the authorities walked up to us and informed us that we had to leave. They were kicking us out of the club due to the confrontation.