by Harloe Rae
Ryker stops chewing and his eyes widen as he swallows carefully. I wait for him to reply but he keeps watching me without a word.
Alrighty then.
“So, I decided to call them and it turns out the rent is far cheaper than I thought,” I continue steadily. “I can’t believe it. The studio is huge with a loft above so that’s like a two-for-one. Plus, that little town is adorable. This seems like fate pulling strings. First, you step out of the shadows and give me everything I’ve wanted from a relationship. Now, I have this perfect location to start my career. I’m over the freaking moon!” I clap excitedly as a huge grin takes over my face.
When Ryker still doesn’t say anything, my giddiness deflates.
“I don’t have to decide right away. The lease wouldn’t start until July and they’re willing to hold the spot until the start of June. I let them know we’d have to discuss it.” I reach for his hand and lace our fingers together. “I want you to come with me, if you’re willing. I think you’d love the area. It’s a cute little town with plenty of open space. Maybe we can go look at the place?” My plea is clear and hopefully he hears it. This is something I want us to experience together.
Ryker seems to gather his bearings as he squeezes my palm and shoots me a tiny grin. “That’s amazing news, Lennon. I’m happy that you’re happy. That’s all I want. I can’t wait to hear more about it.”
“What’s wrong, Ryker? You got all quiet and stock-still. What just happened there?” I question with a raised brow.
He scrubs his free hand down his strained face while blowing out a heavy breath. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Having these discussions is brand new for me and sometimes I get tripped up. I don’t always know the right thing to say but that doesn’t mean I’m not on the same page with you. I’m just . . . still figuring out how to express it correctly.” Ryker implores with me his turbulent ocean gaze and I easily fall into his depths.
The pressure in my lungs disintegrates. “So, you’re excited? And willing to check it out with me?”
“You know I’ll go anywhere with you. I’ve already told you that.”
“Well, I know but this would be a bit more . . . permanent. I don’t expect you to move your entire life for me. Especially when this,” I gesture between us, “is just starting. I’d understand if—”
He cuts me off. “You’re my life, Sunshine.”
Shivers race up my arms before settling in my heart.
“Are you cold?” Ryker asks while leaning closer.
I shake my head. “No, I’m blissfully warm. You always say the perfect thing. Don’t ever worry about screwing up. I love that nickname so much.” I fan my face to ward off the threat of pesky tears.
“I’m glad because that’s what you are. Bright sunshine that breaks up the darkness inside of me.” His tender tone reaches deep inside my lonely soul.
A dopey smile covers my lips as I shift forward. “You’re Seek because I’ll always find you.” At least when he wants me to. “I’m glad you’re willing to come with me but what about your job? I mean, if you have one. It’s totally cool if you don’t.” My face heats with that silly assumption.
Ryker chokes but it almost sounds like a sharp chuckle. “It’s a job I can do from anywhere so location isn’t an issue. I work mostly at night. Nothing too interesting.” His eyes slide away from me and my gut cramps with concern at the evasive reaction.
“Can you tell me what you do?” I coax after the server places our steaming dishes down.
“I’m a . . . hacker.” He says the last word so quietly, I almost miss it.
“Like, breaking into computers and stealing information?”
Ryker snorts. “Or something. I’m actually a White Hat these days, which means my hacking is the good kind. I built and now maintain a software program that a few big companies use to keep Black Hats, the bad hackers, out.”
“That’s actually really interesting. It sounds like a secret society.” The grin lifts my voice when he looks at me. “I’m terrible with computers.”
He fidgets with the silverware and his eyes narrow. “It’s secret all right. And I work with all these people I never meet. It’s all telecommunication with fake names. Definitely doesn’t help my introverted personality but it’s what I’m good at.”
“Have you been doing it for long?”
“Ever since I got my first computer in middle school. Coding and encryption always came natural to me,” Ryker mumbles and seems uncomfortable.
“Does talking about this bother you?”
“Not specifically. It’s just difficult to talk about myself. I’d rather talk about you.”
I catch a glimpse of his arctic irises from under his lids.
Suddenly I remember something that he might understand. “All right. How about something that involves me and hacking? The night David was messing with me, suspicious charges showed up on my credit card. Could someone easily do that from a computer? Without having all my information?” Ryker goes pale and I worry that my question came out wrong. “It turned out to be nothing but I’m still curious,” I add softly.
He groans and his gaze swings to the ceiling.
“I’m fucking up all over the place.”
“What do you mean?” I ask while clasping his hand tighter.
Ryker coughs before admitting, “I alerted your bank, or rather my friend did that night. I didn’t know what else to do without busting into your studio and dragging him out. Setting up unusual spending without actually touching your account is rather easy and easy to execute. That was the simplest way of getting you out of there on short notice. It gave you a believable excuse.” The veins in his neck pop and his tone drags dangerously low.
“Hey,” I murmur softly and reach for Ryker’s other hand. He gives it to me before his distressed stare returns to me. “I’m all right because you saved me. That night could have been far worse. Nothing bad happened and I have you to thank.” Sincerity bleeds from my words.
“I’m sorry for scaring you with the bank though. I didn’t want to upset you.”
His rough fingertips drag against my smooth skin and the contrast gives me goosebumps. The buckle from his bracelet glimmers in the overhead light and pride swells within me. I finally gave him something in return and that one piece is just a start.
A smirk dents my cheek. “I felt better afterwards just because you brought me coffee and a bagel. And left me a sweet note. You protected me and that’s what means the most. It doesn’t matter to me what method you used, coding versus confrontation. It’s the fact you stepped in when most wouldn’t have.” I slowly blow out a lungful of air. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, Ryker. This evening should be happy and fluffy and fun.”
“Never be sorry, Lennon. I’m the only one who should apologize.”
“Should we change the subject? What should we plan next? Maybe the water park or zoo or–”
“MAKE IT RAIN!”
“What the heck?” I ask as our heads simultaneously twist toward the loud exclamation in the lounge area. Three women are sitting on stools at the middle of the large oak bar top laughing loudly. The girl in the middle raises a shot glass before once again yelling, “Make it rain!” A bartender walks by the trio and tosses a stack of cocktail napkins in the air, and they all bust into hysterics all over again.
Ryker mutters, “Looks like they’re having a blast.”
“Maybe we should do a shot. I’ve never done that. Have you?”
“Nope,” he scoffs before shaking his head. “But I say let’s do it. A little more booze won’t hurt. It’ll give us a reason to sit here longer while the effects wear off.” Ryker slides the drink menu toward me. “Pick your poison.”
I peruse the offerings quickly before my sight snags on one liquor. “Tequila? Lucy always drinks it.”
Ryker shrugs and says, “Whatever you choose.”
We signal the server and he makes quick work of our request. After a few minutes, he’s back with overflowing shot
glasses. “Lime and salt?” he asks while gesturing to the tray.
I nod and glance at Ryker. “The works? Might as well for our first time.”
He grins before biting his lip. “Hopefully it tastes good.”
The server laughs while walking away but we don’t question him. I search Ryker’s unwavering gaze and lift my drink while he raises his. We clink the rims together in a quiet cheers before simultaneously announcing, “Make it rain.”
We both start coughing loudly as the liquid fire burns down our throats. I gag as the liquor threatens to make a reappearance but clamp my lips while swallowing several times.
“Holy shit,” I sputter.
“That was fucking brutal,” Ryker adds.
“First and last tequila shot?”
He scrubs a hand over his mouth before saying, “Making it rain was a bad idea.”
“But at least we have the story to tell.” I laugh at his slightly green complexion but my skin tone probably matches.
We finish the rest of our meal with easy conversation as all hints of alcohol leave our systems. Crumbs from a giant piece of chocolate cake we shared linger on the plate between us as Ryker pays the bill. He guides me to his truck with a gentle hand on my back before opening the passenger door for me. He leans in for a gentle kiss on my cheek that leaves the skin blushing bright.
My stomach sinks as we arrive at the apartment building and walk toward my door. I don’t want our date to end but it’s almost midnight. At least Ryker doesn’t have far to go to his own place.
Effing wild.
All this time, he’s been living right next door. The surprises keep popping up but nothing has caused the terrified tremors I typically get around men. Even when he pushes limits and boundaries, my heart and mind trust him. Ryker is different and I accept his unusual methods of persuasion.
Someday I’ll tell him how much he turns me on.
I turn to face him before dragging him close with our connected hands. “I had the best time tonight. Thanks for taking me to Mustavoe’s. Their cheesy mac was fantastic,” I whisper while looking into his sparkling blues.
“Best first date ever,” Ryker murmurs before pressing his forehead to mine.
I lift my chin as my pulse triples. “More dessert?”
Ryker groans and softly caresses my lips with his. I roll up on tiptoes for more and he opens his mouth eagerly. My arms wrap around his shoulders as he strokes up my legs. Our tongues mesh in an erotic curl, gently curving and gliding together. I can taste a bite of spearmint from his gum but mostly it’s sweet and sinful like pure sugar. His hands roam up my hips before dipping beneath my waistband. I moan into him as his seeking fingers skim along my lower back. Ryker bumps us into the wall before yanking me deeper into his body. Every inch of him is solid and meant to defend, just the way I love it. I rock into him slightly, my core ruling my brain, as my nails dig into his scalp. Ryker sucks on my bottom lip, adding more pressure as he starts pulling away. He releases my tender flesh with a wet pop.
“Fuck, you’re so sexy.” His breath is cool along my mouth.
“Then why did you stop?” I playfully pout.
The lust lapping my veins instantly chills with his reply.
“Sunshine, before we go any further, there’s something you need to know.”
Ryker
The darkness is strong, a mighty beast set on ruin, but the light of day is just as powerful, if not more so. She’ll be the one to prove it.
IT WAS AN impossible decision to pull away from Lennon, particularly after she bumped her body against mine, but she deserves to know the truth. Her lovely blue-green gaze doesn’t falter as she waits for me to speak. I breathe deep, asking for courage, hoping for understanding, but knowing I deserve nothing except contempt. Regardless of the consequences, I need to do right by Lennon.
I loosen my hold from her trim torso and reach for her hands. My tongue sticks to the dry roof of my mouth, as if I ate too much peanut butter. Lennon must notice my struggle because she speaks before I get shit figured out.
“It’s okay, Ryker. I know what you’re going to say,” she whispers sweetly while gripping my fingers.
My eyes widen as I consider the possibility. “You do? How?”
“It’s not that difficult to figure out and I’m actually really glad you’re bringing it up. We should talk about this stuff. I mean those kisses are so . . . hot.” She bites her lip, which has me reeling for an entirely differently reason. “Our first time will be even more special if we take it slow.”
“Holy shit, hearing you talk about sex is so fucking distracting.” I clench my eyes shut before groaning.
A bright red flush races up Lennon’s neck before settling on her cheeks.
“Uh huh. It’s fun to think about, right? But wait, distracting from what?”
“There’s something else I need to say and it most definitely doesn’t involve us getting naked. Unfortunately,” I mutter as the mood between us shifts. “Can we go inside for a moment?” As my chin juts toward the door, she lifts a brow then nods before unlocking the deadbolt.
“Want anything to drink?” Lennon asks as she saunters into the living room.
“No, thanks. I don’t need a reason to delay the inevitable.” My conscience barrels forward, determined to give Lennon the truth, while my heart thunders with concern.
“Um, okay. Wanna sit down?”
I take a seat next to her on the couch and rub my clammy hands together. Lennon turns to face me but my nervous gaze keeps darting to the colorful walls.
“Please don’t be mad. I swear this wasn’t me being an asshole . . . or anything.” I blurt as my blood pressure shotguns from a barrel.
“Ryker? What’s going on? You can tell me anything.” Her calm seeps into my chaos and I recline into the cushions. Her steady mood anchors me.
“I set up the studio space in Denten and paid for a portion to lower the rent.” My voice is barely audible.
Lennon sucks in a gasp.
“Wh-what?” Her posture stiffens, shoulders tense and straight. “Why would you do that? I didn’t need help with money.” Her tone cracks, fracturing my courage to admit everything. She claps a palm over her mouth before shaking her head. “That came out harsher than I meant,” Lennon mumbles between fingers. “But what the hell, Ryker? I don’t understand.”
My chest cinches, knowing my words need to spill fast.
“I completed the interest form and submitted it for you. The listing was another site you frequently visited so I found it that way. The rent was steep, especially for a small town, so I wasn’t sure if that was holding you back.” My pitch is practically a rasp as I push forward. “Based on the number of times you went to that page, this was something you really loved and my purpose is to make you happy.”
Her jaw hangs open and her turquoise eyes bore into my soul. When Lennon stays silent, I take it as a hint to keep talking.
“The software I created is extremely profitable and the companies who use it pay me a small fortune. Money isn’t important to me. I make a lot, spend a little, and want to give everything to you. This is a way I can provide for you.” My tone wobbles when Lennon’s posture stiffens. My muscles coil tight, ready to snap.
She exhales heavily.
“Okay, let’s stop for a minute. This is not a turn I thought our evening would take.” Her palm rests against her forehead. “I’m not really sure how to react. This is a pretty big deal to me, Ryker. Why didn’t you ask me first so we could talk about it? And you let me yammer on about it at dinner without saying a word?”
Lennon’s fingers spear into her hair as she sputters, “My father always uses money as a weapon to get his way. I hate that control he forces on me and have been working hard to get out of his financial grasp. I don’t need your money and didn’t need you to swoop in to pay for a lavish loft, whether it was an amazing spot or not. I’ve been saving for a while and was going to get a place within my budget.”
My
hackles rise at her defensive tone.
“I know you can do this on your own, Lennon. I’ve been watching you succeed independently for years and I wasn’t trying to suggest you couldn’t. Fuck.” My fists jam into my eye sockets while I attempt to keep her sunshine under my skin. “I’m screwing shit up left and right. I’ve done too much behind your back, and I know it’s wrong, but that was the only way for me. And with a few clicks on the keyboard, it was a done deal. Splitting the rent with you was an easy choice, another big gift,” I explain while watching for her reaction, my stomach sinking like a rock.
“Wow, there was a better way to go about this.” She bites down on her lip. “I’m so grateful for all you do and extremely happy we’ve been hanging out. This situation is making me a tad frazzled so now isn’t a great example but . . . Urgh. It’s very important to me that I’m able to pay for my own way. After my parents tried keeping me home by offering loads of cash to start what they consider a pipe dream, I became determined to prove them wrong. There’s not much I’ve been able to control so this is important to me.”
There’s lead weighing me down as I nod slowly, my face holding no expression. Lennon sighs.
“You want to share the cost? Help me get a stellar studio? Let’s talk about it. You were a secret for years but we’re finally out in the open. I don’t want to hide anything. I need you to trust me and tell me what’s on your mind rather than finding out this way,” she says as she shifts closer.
“I didn’t want to lose you.” My shoulders slump.
Lennon sets her palm on my knee and the connection pauses the turmoil raging inside me. When tension seizes my limbs, she squeezes my thigh.
“You make me feel so good, Ryker. Everything you do, I know it’s for my benefit. Wanting me to have the most beautiful workspace ever? That’s really sweet, and I’m sure your intentions were in the right place, but outright paying for a large chunk of something reminds me of my dad. I just wish this wasn’t done in secret.” My brain jams on the comparison to her father as she continues. “I like you, a lot, and this is new for us. I’m sure you weren’t doing this to control me. I haven’t told you much about my parents or the issues with them. Compared to the watching and following, maybe the money stuff shouldn’t be an issue. But it is to me.”