Waking Up in Dixie

by Haywood Smith

  Howe was through hiding things. “I had a house in the mountains where I used to go when I was up to no good,” he told her. “I gave it to your mother, so she’d have a place of her own. It’s on Lake Blue Ridge.”

  “I’ll tell Gamma first, then go up tomorrow.”

  “Patti,” he told her. “You were very brave to defend me. I’m proud of you. But I don’t want you fighting my battles with your mother.”

  “I won’t, Daddy. This is about me and her.” She handed him the broom. “But first, I’m going to Gamma’s, then I’m getting a double cheeseburger and fries. Then I’m going to bed.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  She grabbed her purse from the credenza. “Can I take your car?”

  He nodded, tossing her the keys. She took three steps, then turned back to say, “I love you, Daddy. I hate what you did, but I still love you.”

  He didn’t deserve such grace. “I love you, too.”

  And she was gone, leaving him alone in the house once more.

  Chapter 23

  On her way back from the point with an armful of fresh pine boughs, Elizabeth was enjoying the cool weather when she saw Howe’s car disappear down her driveway.

  She stopped in her tracks on the graveled path. He wouldn’t come without calling unless something awful had happened.

  To Patti? Oh, God.

  Dropping the branches, she sprinted for the house faster than she knew she could run. When she neared his parked car, she barely had enough breath to call his name, but she didn’t get an answer. Hands shaking so hard she could hardly work the key, she let herself into the house. “Howe?”

  Movement drew her eye to the front porch, where she spotted not Howe, but her daughter.

  “Patti!” Relief erased the distance between them. The next thing she knew, Elizabeth was on the porch and whirling her daughter in an ecstatic hug. “Ohmygod, when I saw the car, I thought something must have happened to you, and your father was afraid to tell me over the phone.”

  “I didn’t mean to scare you, Mama.” Patti hugged her back just as hard. “I just wanted to surprise you.” The look she gave Elizabeth was without artifice or resentment. “Is it okay if I stay?”

  “More than okay,” Elizabeth said. Something big must have happened for Patti to be so affectionate. Part of Elizabeth wanted to believe her daughter had changed, but another part wondered what her daughter was up to. “That would be fabulous.” Elizabeth kept her arm around Patti’s shoulders as they went inside. “There’s a second master suite you can have all to yourself.”

  Unnaturally clingy, Patti clasped her arms around Elizabeth’s waist. “This is beautiful, Mama,” she admired. “Did it come this way?”

  Elizabeth smiled. “Nope. I did the whole place over, right down to the napkins.”

  Patti pulled free of Elizabeth to run her hand across the hutch. “I probably would have, too. Considering.”

  Elizabeth stilled. “Considering what?”

  Patti turned, her expression matter-of-fact. “What Daddy used it for before he gave it to you.”

  Stunned, Elizabeth subsided onto the arm of the club chair behind her. “Who told you about that?”

  “Daddy did.” Patti regarded her with a maturity and compassion Elizabeth had never seen. “He told me everything. About everything, including that idiot guy who came to our house and told lies about you.”

  Elizabeth gasped. “P.J. came to our house?” No, no, no!

  Patti nodded. “Yesterday, right after Daddy picked me and Gamma up at the airport.”

  Oh, Lord. “Was Gamma there when he came?”

  “No, but I was.” Patti beamed in triumph. “Don’t worry, though. Daddy defended you. Then, when the guy threatened to lie to everybody, Daddy socked him right in the face. Split his lip and put him on his ass.” She pointed to the floor for emphasis. “But then he knocked Daddy down and was gonna kick him, so I jumped on his back and beat the bastard with an umbrella.” She hardly seemed traumatized. “It was very cool. But then Charles and the judge came in and ruined everything.”

  “Judge Etheridge?” Howe hadn’t called to tell her.

  Of course, Elizabeth could understand why.

  “Once there were witnesses, the guy left.” Patti sighed, inspecting the hutch. “The judge even offered to testify against the guy, but Daddy said that wouldn’t be necessary.” She faced Elizabeth. “That guy was lying,” she asked in a very small voice, “wasn’t he?”

  Elizabeth had never anticipated having this conversation with her daughter. But after what Patti had seen, there was no point in trying to cover anything up. “I did see him for a while,” she admitted. “Strictly platonic, at first. Then he started pressuring me for an affair, so I broke it off.” How stupid she’d been. “Nothing happened.”

  She’d known better, but had seen him anyway. “I can’t believe he actually came to our house and got into a fight with your father.” She felt sick, just thinking about it. “I guess I learned the hard way that it’s not safe to play with fire.”

  “Hell, Mama,” Patti said. “Who could blame you? Daddy burned down the whole freakin’ forest.”

  That was one way of putting it.

  At least Patti didn’t blame her. Elizabeth exhaled, long and slow. “I’m just sorry P.J.’s lies might get out and embarrass you and your brother. I’ve worked so hard since I married your father to be respectable, no matter what. I still can’t believe I jeopardized that for a little male attention. I blew it.”

  Patti came over and gave her a hug. “So you’re human. Frankly, I find that a relief. It isn’t easy being the daughter of a perfect mother.” She wasn’t complaining, just stating a fact, and it gave Elizabeth a new perspective on how things looked from Patti’s side.

  “I’ve had a lot of time to think about things up here,” Elizabeth said. “I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. Back home, I kept myself so busy, I never had to do that. But I should have.

  “My own family was so awful,” she went on, “I always swore I’d do my best to make ours perfect. To be a perfect mother and a perfect wife, with perfect children. But all that did was make me, and your father, miserable. And you. Perfection is a cruel master, for everybody concerned.” Elizabeth stroked her daughter’s hair. “I’m so sorry, honey. I want to be your mother, not your warden.”

  Patti let out a wry chuckle. “Does this mean I can have my car back?”

  Elizabeth smiled. Couldn’t blame a kid for trying. “Sure. Soon as you pass a quarter at school, it’s yours.”

  “Ah, yes,” Patti said without rancor. “School.” She stilled. “Actually, I’d like to talk to you about that.”

  Uh-oh.

  “Mama, I know you and Daddy always wanted me to go to college”—here it came—“and I can understand that. I really do. But we all know I’m not cut out for academics.”

  “I thought you liked being at Georgia,” Elizabeth said.

  “I love everything about it, except for the classes,” Patti admitted. “I did okay at first, because I took the easy courses. But last quarter I had to take core academics.” A weighted pause followed. “I didn’t fail because I didn’t try, Mama. I failed because statistics and French and college algebra are too hard for me.”

  Elizabeth frowned, wondering if she was being conned. But Patti sounded so sincere.

  “I’m not saying I didn’t party,” Patti admitted. “I did, but only on Fridays and Saturdays. The rest of the time, I really studied. Honest to God, Mama, I did. You can ask anybody in my sorority. They even tutored me, but I just didn’t get it.” She sounded so discouraged. “I’m not smart like Charles, Mama. I’m no good at memorizing stuff, and tests make me so nervous, I can’t remember half of what I did get. It’s so embarrassing, doing your best and failing, anyway.”

  “Oh, Patti.” Elizabeth had never even considered the fact that Patti might not be able to do the work. She’d just assumed that partying and socializing had gotten in the way. “
I had no idea.”

  “How could you know?” Patti said. “I sure didn’t want to tell you I was too stupid for college. I’d rather you thought I was partying.”

  “Wow.” Elizabeth’s expectations for her daughter did a global shift. “If you don’t go to college, what would you do?” She needed to rephrase that. “What would you like to do? Or have you thought that far?”

  Patti got up and crossed the rug to sit facing Elizabeth, her face animated. “I have thought about it. A lot.” She paused for effect. “I’d like to go to art school. A good one. Believe it or not, I found out in art class that I’m really good with painting and design. I mean, I always did well with stuff like that, but my professor was amazing, and she taught me so much.” She waggled her hand. “Not the computer kind of art. The real stuff. And I love decorating magazines. Maybe I could be a designer.” Elizabeth hadn’t seen Patti so excited about anything since she was little. “Or even a builder. I’ve dreamed up a zillion imaginary houses in my head.”

  “Is there any particular school that interests you?” Elizabeth asked. “We could go look at some together, if you’d like.”

  “I’d like.” Patti smiled, hands gripping her knees. “I wish we could have talked like this a long time ago.”

  “Me, too. But I guess we get there when we get there. At least we can do it now.”

  “I’m glad we don’t have any more secrets to hide,” Patti said. Testing the new bridge between them, she shifted to the subject that had hovered over them since she’d arrived. “I understand why you kept what Daddy was doing a secret. I know you were just trying to protect us. But now that Charles and I know, and Daddy’s changed, you don’t have to worry anymore, no matter what that awful guy says. We’re all gonna be okay.”

  “I wish I could believe that.”

  “Believe it.” Patti turned a sad smile toward Elizabeth. “All the way up here, I was thinking about how I’ve treated you. I was such a brat. But that’s over. If Daddy can change, so can I.” Her voice broke. “I know I made your life miserable. Can you forgive me?”

  How many years had Elizabeth ached to hear those words? Now that she did, she prayed that she and Patti could find a way to get along through the ups and downs to come. “Of course I forgive you.” Though she hated what had brought them to this, she was glad for the change it had made in her daughter. Patti had grown up. “You need to forgive your daddy, too.”

  “If he was still cheating, I don’t think I could,” Patti said. “But he’s so different now, it’s easy to let go of all that stuff. He’s still a dope, though, for sending you away.”

  “If he hadn’t,” Elizabeth said, “we wouldn’t be having this conversation. So it’s all good. We can all start over and try to do better.”

  Patti peered at her, serious. “Can you forgive Daddy?” she asked. “Is that why you haven’t come home?”

  “It wasn’t easy,” Elizabeth admitted, “but I have forgiven him. The thing is, I’m still not sure what the right thing is for me and your daddy.”

  “That’s easy,” Patti said. “The right thing is for you to come home. We all love you, and we miss you.”

  That didn’t include her mother-in-law. Elizabeth shuddered to think how Augusta would react if P.J. spread his lies.

  As if she’d read Elizabeth’s mind, Patti said, “I told Gamma what happened. All of it.”

  Oh, Lord. “And?”

  Patti shrugged. “At first, she got mad at Daddy for telling me what he’d done. Then she blamed you. That made me mad, so I told her it wasn’t your fault. Then I said she had to be nice to you, or I’d quit coming to see her.”

  “Oh, sweetie,” Elizabeth said, “I really appreciate your taking up for me, but I don’t ever want to come between you and Gamma. She loves you so much, and she’s so lonely.”

  “Well, she’d better behave herself,” Patti declared. “Or else.”

  “Now you sound just like her,” Elizabeth teased.

  Patti laughed. “Oh, God, no. Spare me.” Then she sobered. “Gamma knows everything now, and she knows we don’t believe what that guy said. We can all hold our heads high, no matter what anybody says. So you can come home.”

  “Oh, honey. I wish it were that simple, but it’s not.” How could she explain what she wasn’t sure of, herself? “I love your daddy, but life with him is life in Whittington, and I’m not ready to go back to that.” She decided to be completely honest with her daughter. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be.”

  “Then we’ll move!” Patti said. “ ‘We can do that. People move all the time.” She brightened. “Daddy’s loaded. We could get an apartment in Manhattan. Or a place in Hawaii. Or even better, Santa Barbara. It’s gorgeous. I’ve seen it on TV.”

  Patti’s enthusiasm lifted Elizabeth’s spirits, but it didn’t change anything. “I’ll think about it. Meanwhile, would you like to help me bring in some pine branches? I dropped an armful up on the road when I saw your daddy’s car and thought the worst.”

  “I’m really sorry I scared you,” Patti repeated as she followed Elizabeth toward the back door.

  “Forget it. The important thing is, you’re here, and that makes me very, very happy.” Elizabeth opened the door to a breeze scented with the promise of fall. “When we get back, I’ll cook supper.”

  “I’ll help you,” Patti volunteered for the first time since she was seven.

  “Great.” If things kept up this way, maybe they could even be friends. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  And Elizabeth was, for all of two weeks.

  Patti brought out her pictures from Europe and told Elizabeth all about the trip. Even though Augusta hadn’t been up to snuff, the two of them had had a really good time.

  Howe continued to call every few days, and they agreed that art school was a good idea for Patti. When he said his mother wasn’t doing well, Elizabeth couldn’t help wondering if Patti’s ultimatum was to blame, but she didn’t say so.

  So far, P.J. hadn’t showed up again, and Howe said there was no evidence he’d followed through on his threats. As a matter of fact, P.J. had been blessedly silent.

  Once those issues had been discussed, their conversations degenerated into stilted chats. Hearing the loneliness in Howe’s voice, Elizabeth felt guiltier every time she hung up.

  Away from the bad influence of her party-hardy friends, Patti read and took long walks with her mother, admitting she was tired of boozing and didn’t want to screw up her life. Elizabeth did her best to be supportive without offering solutions. Patti had to find those for herself. There were meetings she could go to. They both knew it.

  Day by day, their relationship entered new ground. They looked up art schools on Patti’s laptop and planned to visit them after the new year. But as the days grew shorter and colder, Patti grew restless and started going out at night. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she was partying with the locals.

  Then, two weeks after their big heart-to-heart talk with its promises of new beginnings, Elizabeth got up at three in the morning and headed to the refrigerator for some cold water. Entering the darkened living room, she was met by the reek of booze and turned to find Patti, missing a shoe, passed out cold on the couch. Elizabeth tried to rouse her, but Patti just grumbled, then belched hugely—releasing another miasma of whiskey breath—and swatted her away.

  So Elizabeth covered her with a quilt and sat watching her daughter in the darkness, praying about what she should do.

  If she told Howe, he would probably want to come get Patti and lay down the law, but Elizabeth knew enough to know that wouldn’t work. Yet she couldn’t have Patti driving drunk, either. The mountain roads were treacherous enough in the dark, cold sober. She might kill someone—or herself.

  Elizabeth didn’t want to ruin their newfound relationship, but she’d have to address this, somehow. Shivering and discouraged, she went to bed.

  The next morning when Patti emerged, haggard, from her room at eleven, Elizabeth d
ecided to give her some time to wake up before broaching the subject. “How about some breakfast?”

  “My stomach’s a little shady.” Patti winced against the morning sun. “I think I’ll just have some cereal.”

  “Okay.” Elizabeth made her own bacon and eggs, ignoring Patti’s occasional frown at the strong aromas. She set her plate on the counter. “Coffee?”

  Patti lifted a staying hand, gingerly shaking her head.

  Elizabeth poured her own, hoping that Patti’s hangover was awful enough to act as a deterrent.

  Patti sat down, leaving a stool between them. “I know what you’re thinking,” she said in the surly tone Elizabeth recognized all too well.

  “You do? That’s a pretty neat trick,” Elizabeth responded, doing her best to keep from sounding sarcastic. “Should I alert the media?”

  “Very funny,” Patti grumbled, but her mood lightened a little. She focused on her cereal as the kitchen clock ticked away five minutes of quiet.

  “I was stupid last night,” she said at last, the sullenness gone. “I met this cute guy, and he invited me and some girls from Atlanta to a party at his parents’ weekend place. Once I got there, he started flirting with me. Then this local girl challenged me to do some shooters.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why I felt like I had to keep up. I knew I had to drive home. But I kept on drinking, and next thing I knew, the guy was driving me home in Daddy’s car.”

  She frowned, her eyes losing focus. “He could have been anybody, a rapist,” she said with chilling insight. “And I was in the car with him.” Stricken, she turned to Elizabeth. “How could I be so stupid?”

  Elizabeth was afraid to ask what came next, but she had to know. “Did he do anything to you? Hurt you?”

  “No.” Thank God, thank God. “I was lucky,” Patti said. “He was a really nice guy. Not that he’ll ever want to see me again.”

  Sick with relief, Elizabeth covered her mouth to keep from lecturing Patti.