She walked to Jack’s front door and tapped it lightly. Her stomach somersaulted. The thought of saying goodbye was physically painful and part of her just wanted to run away, to avoid seeing him in case it proved too much. Yet part of her was screaming that she was being irrational; there was nothing serious between them. They were friends, he was her aunt’s tenant and she’d enjoyed his company. He was extremely attractive and kind and funny and talented, but circumstances had thrown them together and it was just that. Once she’d gone home, she’d forget all about him. Wouldn’t she?
She knew she wouldn’t.
She knew she’d ache to return as soon as possible.
She tried his door again but there was still no answer, so she waved at Mary then went around the side of the cottage and let herself in to the back garden. The shed door hung slightly ajar, so she went up the steps and knocked gently.
‘Hello?’
‘Jack?’
‘Come in.’
She pulled open the door and stepped into the musky heat of Jack’s studio. He stood before her in just his jeans. Her breath caught as she gazed at him. He was majestic. A ray of sunlight streamed through the window and illuminated his sculpted torso, which shone with perspiration. His hair was tousled where he’d run his fingers through it and his face bore a shadow of stubble. And his eyes … his eyes were as dark and deep as wells.
‘You’re going now?’ he asked, and Eve saw the muscle in his jaw twitching.
‘Yes. I need to get on the road.’
‘Oh.’
‘Jack, I …’
‘You’ll drive carefully?’ His voice was husky.
‘Of course.’
‘I … uh … have something for you. But I don’t want you to open it until you get home.’
‘Right.’ Eve stepped closer to him. She could smell his scent, warm and male, and she wanted to throw herself into his arms and never let go.
‘Here.’ He lifted a rectangle wrapped in brown paper and handed it to her.
‘When did you do this? I mean, I’m assuming it’s a drawing.’
‘Last night. I couldn’t sleep. It was in my head and I needed to get it out.’
‘I got you something too.’ Eve passed him the silver package. ‘There’s a note in there as well.’
‘A note?’ He frowned.
‘Just to say thanks.’
‘Oh, okay.’ He rubbed his forehead and pushed back his hair.
The silence hung between them as they stood just two paces apart. Eve wondered if Jack felt as she did, or was he relieved? His life could go back to normal and he could find peace again. She knew that her arrival had turned the routine at Mary’s cottages upside-down. Jack and her aunt had tended to her through her moments of bleakness and helped her to begin to mend. It couldn’t be easy doing that. And she didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. That would be horrendous. Her growing feelings for Jack needed reciprocity, in terms of desire and love, or they would drive her mad. Better to have a break now and get control of her heart before it led her towards territory she had no right straying into.
‘So, um … take care.’
‘You too.’ He nodded and she saw that the tissue paper had puckered under his fingers. He was tense as a coiled spring.
Like her.
‘I will come back. Soon. I want to be here for the summer fair.’
‘I hope you do.’ His voice was quiet and he’d lowered his gaze to the floor.
‘Bye then.’
Please hug me or kiss me or just give me something!
‘Bye.’
She turned and left the shed, feeling as if her heart would explode into a thousand tiny shards. Her throat throbbed and her blood whooshed through her ears. She knew she wanted too much from this man, but with his kindness and his innate goodness he’d made his way into her heart. She walked down the steps, careful not to bump the parcel, and around the side of the house.
Just as she was about to turn the corner, she felt a hand clutch at her arm.
‘Eve!’
She turned and there he was. His chest heaving, his eyes full of emotion. Full of her.
‘Jack.’
He reached out tentatively and stroked her cheek with his thumb. She copied his action, then he leant down and covered her lips with his. His kiss was warm and soft and she returned it eagerly. The corner of the parcel dug into her belly so she lowered it to the ground. When her hands were free, she slid her arms around Jack’s neck and he lifted her, pulling her tight against him. When he finally broke away and stared into her eyes, Eve was so light-headed with desire and emotion that she felt as if she would float away.
He gently lowered her to the ground. ‘Something for you to remember me by.’
‘Thank you.’
She placed a hand on his chest, over his heart. ‘I’m coming back. I promise.’
Jack raised her hand and kissed its palm. ‘I hope so.’
Then he turned and went back to his shed, leaving Eve to fluff up her hair and straighten her shirt before picking up the package and walking back to her car.
* * *
Jack waited outside the shed until he heard Eve’s car heading off along the gravel, then he opened the door and reached inside for the silver parcel she’d given him. He sank onto the top step and turned the gift over in his hands. He was tired and had that strange woozy feeling that came from a sleepless night. But he’d known when he returned from the beach that he wouldn’t rest. Eve’s announcement that she was leaving had thrown him into turmoil. He was such a fool. He’d known she wasn’t staying in Conwenna; the woman was a head teacher with a home and job to return to, for crying out loud. Yet he’d hoped that she’d fall in love with the place and wouldn’t want to leave. Just as he had.
And now she’d gone. But he’d sketched out something for her that he thought she’d like. Something to remind her of her time here. He hoped she’d be okay, that she had managed to relax enough to avoid any more anxiety attacks. Because that was what she’d been experiencing really. He’d had them himself and seen friends go through them. Sometimes avoiding the situation that brought them on in the first place was the only way to completely heal, but sometimes that wasn’t possible, and at those times you just had to learn how to control them. Hopefully Eve’s time at Conwenna would give her something to help whenever the tension mounted again. He hoped she’d come back but he also knew that if she did, it would be hard for him. He was falling for her, and seeing her regularly, during school holidays or on long weekends, would not help his feelings to abate.
He shook his head. He had work to do for Mary and a shift up at the sanctuary later. It wasn’t as if he was going to be sitting around twiddling his thumbs. The hounds needed him and he was glad of it.
He picked at the Sellotape on one corner of the silver tissue paper and pulled the end of the package apart. He didn’t want to tear it right open; it seemed wrong. Eve had taken the time to wrap this, and although it was probably silly, the silver tissue reminded him of her. She was bright and delicate, soft and luminous. She could be easily hurt, yet she had a strength about her, a determination that he admired deeply.
He slipped his fingers into the tissue and pulled out some green material. As he held it out, he could see that it was a green shirt from a surf shop brand that he liked. The shirt was lightweight and his size. How had she known? Then he noticed the chest pocket and it brought a smile to his face. Embroidered there in dark green cotton was a greyhound, side on, standing proud. It was a thoughtful gift and one that he would certainly wear. He folded the shirt and laid it on top of the tissue paper, then opened the small envelope that had fallen out of the package. It bore his name in looped black handwriting; Eve’s handwriting. His heart flipped as he ran his finger over it, admiring the way she’d written his name without taking the pen from the paper.
When he opened the envelope and removed the card, he smiled again. It was a print of Conwenna harbour by a local artist that he’d seen
thousands of times on items such as postcards, mugs and T-shirts. Inside, Eve had written a message that brought a lump to his throat.
Jack,
Thank you so much for everything you’ve done and been since I came to Conwenna. We’ve known each other such a short time yet I feel I know you better than many people I’ve encountered in my life. You’ve been a friend, such a good friend, and I will always treasure that. You’ve also been more, and although I’m a bit confused right now, I’m also happier than I’ve been in an age.
I will return.
Love and hugs,
Eve x
Chapter 20
Eve turned the key in the lock and the door swung inwards. She walked into the hallway and was greeted by a stale smell that was a mixture of damp washing and old food. She sighed as she closed the door and dumped her holdall and handbag on the floor next to the downstairs cloakroom, then carefully propped Jack’s parcel and the bag of food from Mary next to them. She’d left her suitcase at Mary’s with some of her belongings; it made her feel a bit better, as if it was some kind of security measure. She’d have to return if her things were still there, wouldn’t she?
She picked up the post that had scattered on the hall mat and went through to the kitchen. Everything was as she had left it following her hasty departure. She’d done a quick clean-through before leaving but she must have missed a few things because there was something mysterious growing mould in the fruit bowl and the smell of damp washing was even stronger. A quick glance in the utility room made her groan. She recalled opening the washing machine door before leaving, meaning to take out the towels she’d washed, but she’d been distracted and forgotten about them. She filled the cap with non-biological liquid and flung it into the drum, then poured fabric softener into the drawer and put the machine on a sixty-degree wash.
As the drum filled with water, Eve went around the house opening windows, as well as the French doors that led from the dining room into the garden. She didn’t want Darryl thinking she was living in conditions resembling a student house in the eighties. Once a breeze was blowing through the house, she placed the plastic boxes of food in the fridge and freezer, then sat at the kitchen table and went through the post. Nothing of any real interest, just bills and a letter from the bank offering her an extension on her credit card limit – she was the perfect customer, paying off her entire balance each month – until she got to one with the school’s stamp on it.
Her bowels seized up.
Her mouth went dry.
Her heart began to pound.
What do they want?
She stuck a shaking finger under the seal and pulled out the page inside. It was a formal and courteous letter from Sandra Winters enquiring after her health and asking if there was anything that the school and governors could do to help. It stated that they’d received her sick note and that they were keen to do all they could to support her. Eve had seen such letters before – hell, she’d sent them out herself to staff with long-term absences as part of the managing sickness absence policy – so she knew it was just a formality, but being on the receiving end of one was horrific.
How had she got to this place? This sorry state of affairs?
Eve didn’t do sick and she didn’t get into trouble with her employer.
She flung the letter across the table then followed it with the envelope. This couldn’t be good for her health. She’d been back all of half an hour and already she could feel the pressure closing in like a pack of hungry wolves. She didn’t want to feel this way. But she was trapped.
Or was she?
She had savings. She had no debt except for the credit card, which her salary covered easily, and the mortgage, but they’d put down a healthy deposit on the house after making money on their first house sale and had paid the mortgage monthly without fail. That meant there was a considerable amount of equity in the property, which was only just three years old and on a coveted estate near two of the best primary schools in Bristol. In spite of the housing slump, it would surely sell if they put it on the market. Besides, she needed to consider it or she’d have to buy Darryl out, and although she could afford that, she didn’t really want to stay here alone any longer. It was a house of shadows, a house of shattered dreams, and Eve was becoming convinced that it was adding to her worries. When she spoke to Darryl tomorrow, she’d agree to sell it, and quickly.
Then she would have more cash to squirrel away. Even without her salary she could buy a smaller place and, if she lived carefully, survive easily for a year or longer. So she was lucky, she reassured herself. Unlike some people, she wasn’t trapped; she had choices. It was just up to her now to make the biggest choice of all: did she return to work after the break, or should she quit? It was a terrifying prospect for a woman who’d worked all her life and striven to be independent.
Her thoughts drifted to her aunt’s cottages set on the hill overlooking Conwenna, with the tree-covered gravel driveway bordered on both sides by pretty bluebells, and the colourful roses about to bloom on the trellises around the cottage doors. Where she could hear the squawk of seagulls and the cooing of wood pigeons as well as the hoot of an owl at night. Where she could smell the salt in the air and gaze out to sea; sense the freedom of the open horizon even when she was indoors. Where she could sit with Aunt Mary and chat about life over tea and cake. Where she could see Gabe and rub his silky ears as he leaned against her legs.
Where she could wrap her arms around Jack and bury her face in his neck, breathe deeply of his special scent and feel at once safe and exhilarated. Where she’d felt for the first time in her life that she was finally home.
Eve had experienced a different kind of existence in Conwenna, a life that was a life and not just an existence.
She knew what she wanted now; she just had to summon the courage to make it happen.
* * *
When Eve had showered and pulled on her softest pyjamas, she went back downstairs and picked up the parcel from Jack. She’d been afraid to open it earlier, had worried that it would deepen her heartache, but she couldn’t postpone it any longer.
She laid it on the kitchen table and gently undid the string Jack had tied around it to keep the paper in place. She held it for a moment, conscious that his hands had touched it, had tied the knot and bow. Then she carefully opened the paper and allowed herself to look at what Jack had created.
For a moment, she just gazed at the charcoal sketch, but soon tears welled in her eyes and she let out a strangled moan.
The drawing showed her and Gabe facing each other on the sofa in the assessment room. What stunned her most was how peaceful her expression was as she snoozed. She looked more serene than she thought possible. And as for Gabe … the big black hound was watching her closely, as if he was guarding her while she was at her most vulnerable. As if he was her dog.
But of course; he is my dog!
The thought came out of nowhere and pierced Eve’s chest. She covered her thudding heart with both hands. How could she leave Gabe there? Yes, he was well taken care of at the sanctuary, but he had bonded with her after all he had been through. After all the loneliness and pain and hurt. He had chosen to trust her, and such trust was a gift, to be valued and treasured, not ignored and left behind.
Gabe had chosen Eve.
She went to the kitchen drawer and took out a notepad and pen, then began making a to-do list. She needed to get everything in order, for her sake and for Gabe’s.
And for Jack’s too.
Because he had drawn this sketch, he had captured this precious moment forever, and that was something else that Eve shouldn’t forget. He had taken the time to do this then given it to her as a parting gift. So surely there was something there, something more lasting than physical attraction and deeper than pity and concern. There was a bond between Eve and Jack just as there was between Eve and Gabe, but would it be enough of a foundation to build a life on?
I hope so with all my heart.
* * *
There was a knock at the front door. Eve paused in the kitchen and checked the clock. It was ten minutes to six. If it was Darryl, he was early. She’d kept herself busy all day, kept moving as a way to fight the tiredness after a restless night in her own bed. She’d been sleeping so well in Conwenna and being back in the big empty house had left her jumping at every noise. But now, it was time to deal with matters she’d delayed for too long.
She checked her appearance in the hallway mirror. She’d changed five times, not knowing what was appropriate clothing for a serious meeting with your ex-husband. She’d ended up settling on black linen trousers and a black vest top. Cool and comfortable yet still smart. She’d tamed her hair with a touch of serum that she’d found in her bathroom cupboard and now it shone. It was lighter from her time in the sun in Conwenna and her skin also had a light golden glow. She did look better than she had just two weeks ago. Even she could see that.
She took a deep breath then opened the door.
‘Darryl, hi!’ She stood back to let him in, then jumped as he placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned in to kiss her cheek.
‘Oh … sorry. I just, uh …’
‘No, it’s okay, really. Don’t worry about it.’ Eve patted his hand.
‘I’m not sure what the correct etiquette is when you meet up with your soon-to-be-ex-wife.’ He flushed then handed her a bunch of flowers. ‘And I brought these for the same reason.’
‘Thank you. That’s very kind of you. And I didn’t mean to jump but you took me by surprise. It’s been a while since I last saw you.’
He nodded, a flush creeping up his throat. This was uncomfortable for both of them.
‘Come on, let’s go through to the kitchen and I’ll make us a coffee.’
Eve switched the kettle on. She’d cleaned around thoroughly that morning and hoped that the musty smell had gone completely now.
Summer at Conwenna Cove Page 21