by Naomi West
“I guess a little. If you were almost kidnapped, someone could turn to him next.”
Sara gasped and put her hand to her mouth.
“But I think it’s unlikely. I think he’s in danger only as far as any kid is in danger of being snatched. That stuff happens all the time.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
He glanced over and took in her expression. “Sorry. Don’t worry. I already have someone watching him.”
“You do?” Her words came out as a shocked whisper. She never expected him to do something like that.
“I know people all over. Including those who work in schools.”
“Thank you. I don’t even know what to say to that. I never thought…”
“You didn’t think I cared about him?”
“Well, I… I never really thought you had much reason to, I guess.”
“Really?” He shook his head. “So you think me saying I have feelings for you didn’t mean that I would be concerned about your son’s welfare?”
“Well, no. I didn’t. I didn’t think much about it at all. I’ve never done this, Saxton. I’ve never been in anything like a relationship since having Ian. If that’s what we’re even in now. I don’t know what this is.”
“Me either.”
Well, that cleared up nothing. It meant a great deal to her that he would send someone to watch after Ian, and that he clearly cared about him. She had friends who dated guys who cared about their kids like they were their own, but she also had friends who dated guys who saw their kids as nothing more than a nuisance. How was she to know which way Saxton would be? Now she had her proof. And that made her happy.
It was one thing for her to find someone. But whatever this ended up being with Saxton involved more than just her. She wasn’t looking for a date or a boyfriend or even a husband. She was looking for a future father for Ian as well. Anyone who became part of her life was part of his. And it was even more important that the man she chose treated Ian well than treated her well. If Saxton protected Ian like that, then maybe it was okay to start something with him.
But there was still the danger, and she couldn’t get past that. No matter how good Saxton was to her and Ian, he was still a criminal who made a living doing illegal business. That could mean jail. That could mean losing everything. If she married him and they lived together, then he was caught doing something, her and Ian could end up out on the street.
And if the legal problems weren’t enough, he had just been stabbed and was chasing a murderer. He might be killed or hurt again. And there was a strong possibility that she’d been almost kidnapped and almost hurt, and that possibly Ian could be too, all because of Saxton. How could she ever be okay with that? With a life of always watching her back, always worrying that she’d get call that Saxton was in the hospital? That was no way to live.
When they got to his school, Ian came bounding over to Sara, just as happy to see her as always. Once she had him in her arms, she could relax. But she had to work her second job tonight. And that meant leaving Ian all night. They’d already decided that he would stay with Saxton instead of Patty. She loved Patty, but didn’t want to put an added burden on her, and Saxton could protect him better if something happened.
They went back to Saxton’s and she got Ian started with his homework, then she went up to change. Saxton knocked on her door a moment later and opened it. She was in just a bra and panties, and his mouth pulled into a half smile.
“I came at just the right time,” he said.
She put her hand on her hip to pose for him. “Oh? Do you like what you see?” She laughed as she stepped into her skirt that was part of her uniform.
“I do.” He grinned mischievously. “I don’t want you to go to work tonight.”
“I don’t want to either, but I don’t have a choice.”
“Why?”
“Why? I have bills to pay. And I’m scheduled. They need me.”
“They can make do without you.” He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. He was at her side and pulled her in for a quick kiss. “I’ll cover your bills.”
“No, no. You’ve given me too much already. I can’t let you do that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” He kissed along her neck, then whispered in her ear, “I didn’t mean for it to sound like a request. Let me be more clear. Call off. You work too much, and I don’t like it.”
She stepped away from him, pulling from his grip. “You can’t just start ordering me around like that. You don’t get to say what you don’t like about my life, then just demand that I change it. I’m not going to play that game.”
“Game?” He crossed his arms. “You want to drive to work and be there alone, without my protection into the late night hours? You’re done at what, 11? You think that’s a perfectly safe hour, do you?”
She gulped. “No. I thought you would come get me, though.”
“I will. But I can’t be there during your whole shift. Unless you want me to sit there with Ian. If I’m going to keep him safe, we need to stay here. And if I’m going to keep you safe, I need you to stay here, too. And if that means I need to give you a little money to cover what you’re missing, then fine. I have more money than I know what to do with half the time anyway.”
She couldn’t imagine what that must be like. The idea of it made her sick. So did thinking of where all that money came from. But she couldn’t deny his reasoning. She didn’t want to be there alone, or have him bring Ian to her work. And this wasn’t the nicest restaurant or located in the best part of the city.
“Fine,” she said. “But you will not order me around. If I miss work, it’s my call. Got it?”
“Fine. So long as you stop babying me and treating me like an invalid.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “I haven’t done that for days. Especially not after last night.”
“Let’s keep it that way then.”
“Fine.”
They glared at each other for a moment, then he stepped forward and kissed her hard.
Chapter Eighteen
After Ian fell asleep that night, Sara got out of bed and went to Saxton’s room. He was expecting her, but she knocked anyway.
“Come in,” he said softly.
He was sitting up, leaning back against his headboard, shirtless in long cotton pants. He’d removed the big bandage and now had just a few band-aids covering the majority of his wound. The stitches would be ready to come out any day now.
She let her eyes roam over his half-naked body, ready to feel it pressed against her, hot and sweaty again. She met his eyes and he was watching her with an amused expression.
“Like what you see?” he asked, mimicking her question from earlier.
“Definitely.”
She hopped on the bed and crawled up beside him. He had been holding a notebook, scribbling away when she came in. She reached for it to move it out of the way and saw her name.
“What is this?” she asked.
“My notes.”
He turned it to face her and she saw where he’d drawn a line to her and Ian’s names and a question mark to indicate he was unsure if they were connected to the other things he’d written down. She read over the sheet for a moment, then looked up at him.
“How do you think this gang, the Cruel Crows, are connected to Liam’s murder?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to find out.”
“But what makes you think they’re involved at all?”
“The information I’ve gotten so far.”
“What information?”
Saxton pressed his lips together, hesitating.
“I’m in danger, too, you know,” she said. “The least you can do is tell me why.”
He blew out a breath. “Well, kind of because of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“The night of the auction, when you mentioned Darren and his knives? It got me thinking, and I went back to ask about him again, this
time more closely. I’d checked him out before, but didn’t think much of it. When you said he had all those knives, it made me look a second time, and more closely.”
“Wait. Why do knives have anything to do with it?”
“I have a knife that was found at the scene of Liam’s murder. And it’s sort of a fancy knife, so I thought maybe it belonged to Darren, since he’s such a big knife guy.”
“Does it?”
Saxton shook his head. “But when I was showing people the knife and asking around about Darren, someone mentioned the Cruel Crows. I questioned Darren personally, and it was clear to me that he wasn’t involved. But when I started asking about the Cruel Crows, that’s when I got stabbed.”
“So you think whoever dropped that knife is part of the Cruel Crows and killed Liam?”
“Sounds like it. Obviously, the knife was left by someone at the scene, and Liam’s blood was all over it. Shooting him in the head apparently wasn’t enough. The knife was used to help kill him, so that’s a pretty fair indicator that it belongs to his killer.”
“So, you have this knife?”
Saxton nodded.
“Why didn’t you give it to the police?”
“Why would I do that?”
“Umm, so they can investigate and find out who killed him? So you don’t have to endanger yourself doing their job.”
“The case was closed almost immediately.”
“How is that possible?”
He reached over to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. “This is Chicago. Murders and violent crimes happen all the time. That’s why I always have guns, even if they’re illegal. I can’t take the risk of being attacked, knowing that the cops are not on the side of those in gangs or MCs, which are the same as gangs to them. Cops don’t want to get involved with all that. So, most times, they let it go. They call it an assault, an accidental death, or some other thing that means they can close the case and move on without having to spend the time to investigate the murder. Not for a lowly MC member, in their eyes. We’re worthless.”
“But that’s not right. They can’t do that.”
“They do. And I’m surprised you own a gun, actually, but I’m glad. If you had to use it, though, you might end up in big trouble.”
She lifted one shoulder. “I know it’s illegal to have it in the city. But I’m a single mom. I work late and not in the best parts of the city, as you pointed out earlier. What else can I do?”
“I don’t blame you. I’m glad you have it. Did your brother get it for you?”
She nodded.
“Good. I like him for teaching you and doing that. It’s smart to make sure you can defend yourself.”
“Yeah, well, Carter is used to getting himself into trouble. And having to defend himself. But I know deep down he’s a good guy. He wants the best for me and for Ian. He might do illegal things, which I hate, but he doesn’t hurt people. I guess he’s like you. You don’t seem like you’d hurt anyone unless you had to, either. And you might have your criminal business, but you’re still a good guy under it all.”
“You think so?”
She leaned forward to give him a brief kiss. “Yes.”
“I’d like to think you’re right. But I’ve been in my share of fights. And I told you what I plan to do when I find Liam’s killer. You didn’t seem too happy about it before.”
“I’m not. But I understand. If someone hurt Ian, I might be tempted to kill them, too.”
“I’m already a bad influence on you, aren’t I? Got you convinced that murder is okay sometimes.”
“No, it’s not. But revenge is understandable. I don’t agree with it, but I get it. I get why you need to do it, even if I wished you’d change your mind.”
“I can’t.”
She let out a long breath. “I know.”
“Does that make you want to get away from me?”
“A little.”
“Fair enough. Thanks for being honest about it.”
“How will you do it? Shoot him or stab him?” Sara traced the outline of his ab muscles absently with one finger.
“It depends on how it all goes down. Maybe stab him with the same knife that was left at the scene.”
“Is it here? In your house?”
“The knife? Yeah.”
“Can I see it?”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. What if the whole gang has similar knives? Don’t they do things like that sometimes?”
“You seem to know an awful lot about it.”
“I don’t really. I just know that my brother mentioned something like that once. That gangs have symbols and colors. If these Cruel Crows might come after me, shouldn’t I know what the symbol on the knife is, in case they have the same symbol?”
“You have a point. You should know what the crest looks like.”
Saxton slid out of the bed and went to his dresser, where he kept the knife in the back of his top drawer. He brought it back over to the bed, still wrapped in the towel he kept it in. He set it down and lifted one side of the towel off, then the other, to reveal the eagle crest.
Sara gasped loudly and reached down to pick up the knife. She turned it over, inspecting it carefully. Then she slid off the bed and backed away until she felt the wall hit her butt.
“What?” Saxton asked. “Do you recognize it?”
He was still on his feet and took a few steps toward her.
“You do,” he said. “Tell me what you know.”
Sara thought she might throw up. Or faint. Or maybe one then the other. She did recognize the knife, but it couldn’t mean what he thought it meant. There was no way.
“Sara!” His voice was sharp and his expression took on the desperate appearance of an anxious man. “Tell me what you know. Please.”
“I recognize it.” Her words came out in a hushed whisper. She slid to the floor and put her head on her knees. “It can’t be what you think it is. There’s some mistake.”
“Where do you recognize it from?”
“I know who it belongs to.”
Saxton was on his knees in front of her, his eyes wild. “Who?”
She shook her head. “He’s not a killer. He wouldn’t do that.”
“Who?”
She closed her eyes. She couldn’t stand the anguish in his eyes. She whispered, “It’s my brother’s knife.”
Chapter Nineteen
Saxton backed away from Sara slowly. He felt the carpet between his toes, the soft cushion on his feet.
This couldn’t be. How could the knife belong to her brother? Her brother had killed Liam? The woman he was falling for was the blood relative of the person who murdered his second in command. His ears rung. He shook his head to clear it, but it didn’t help.
He stumbled to the bed and leaned against it. The room needed to stop spinning.
He was done. He’d completed his searching, and he’d found Liam’s killer. Except… Now what? He’d always planned to immediately kill whoever did it. It had been cut and dry. Find him, kill him. Except now it wasn’t so simple.
Forget the fact that Carter was known to have power in the city. He was a big deal and high up in every organization he was a part of. He might even be the leader of the Cruel Crows. Saxton hadn’t gotten that much information yet, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Carter was the top dog. That fact would make killing him dangerous and maybe tricky, but Saxton would have risked it. For the sake of Liam’s honor, he would have found a way.
But knowing that he was Sara’s brother? Would she ever speak to him again if he killed her brother? They didn’t seem like the closest siblings in the world, but they weren’t complete enemies, either. She still talked about him with affection at times. And even now, she was claiming he wasn’t a murderer. She saw the best in Carter. Just like she did with him. And she was wrong about him. He wasn’t good. He had no idea what she saw in him. But if she was willing to see that in him, enough to trust her son to him, then how muc
h more would she choose to see good in her own brother, despite the evidence otherwise?
Killing Carter might mean losing her forever. How could he have gotten himself into this mess? Into this place where he had to stop to consider any action, let alone one so important as taking down the man who’d dishonored his MC. This is why he always stuck to his motto. Fuck them and forget them. It was harsh, but it’d worked for him for so many years. Kept him out of bullshit like this. And now here he was, having feelings for this woman, and it was making him question his motives.