Forever in Ink

by Jude Ouvrard

  “Hey, K,” Levi yelled my name from the other side of the club when I arrived. The lights were dimmed and the music was on the verge of deafening every single person inside.

  On my way to Levi, I saw Nix and Bekka working on the other side of the counter, making shots like the girls from Coyote Ugly. They waved at me and next thing I knew, Nix was handing me a cold beer.

  “Thank you.”

  Tyler appeared to be talking with a customer, so I gave him space. Meanwhile, Levi kept his eyes on his girl. What the hell happened to my friend?

  “Have you met Tyler’s friend? She just moved here, and is going to fill in until Ty finds another waitress,” Nix said.

  “I haven’t… no.” I didn’t care either. Tyler hired lots of girls, and he fired just as many, too, so I never kept up with his staff.

  Drinking my cold and very welcome beer, I tried to chill and forget all the shit that had been rushing through my head all week. The amount of crap piled up in my mind plus the fucking emotions which always got in the way was ridiculous. It would take a couple of beers, at least, to relax tonight.

  Since that last night, with the girl who’d messed with my head, I hadn’t been out again. She’d played with my mind and still had me thinking days later. What the hell?

  “Kyle, you came.” Tyler rapped my shoulder then gave me a quick man hug. “My friend from London just moved here. You have to meet her. She’ll be hanging out with us and working here.”

  What is the big deal about her, anyway?

  “Hey, Tiff, come here,” Tyler called over my shoulder, and I stiffened.

  London? Tiff? No. no. no, I thought as the woman from the other night turned around, her hair up in a high ponytail, and her skin as dark and lush as I remembered. Her smile faltered when she saw me, but quickly recovered, and then she sauntered over.

  “Hey, K. Nice to see you again.” My gaze drifted down to where her tongue skimmed her bottom lip.

  Ty looked surprised. “You guys know each other?” Shit.

  “Yeah,” we said in unison, and thankfully, no one asked for an explanation.

  “Are you busy later?” Tiff asked me, not caring about the people around us.

  I shook my head. “No, I’m not.”

  “Brilliant,” she said with a happy smile on her face.

  Happy. Not to mention, beautiful… I couldn’t think of Tiff as beautiful, though. It scared me; Cassidy belonged on my mind. She was beautiful.

  Tiff went back to work serving customers while I found myself being examined by two pairs of curious eyes.

  “What the fuck was that?” Tyler laughed. “She just got here like a week ago.”

  “Well, I met her when she got here.” I refused to give him more information than that; he knew enough.

  “Do we want to ask how?” Of course, Levi was dying to find out more.

  “Nah. Don’t.” I shied away and finished my beer in one clean shot while my mind raced. What the hell was I thinking agreeing to meet her again tonight?

  Simple. I had to know if what I’d felt or how’d she acted was a onetime deal. I had to know, because it had been haunting me ever since she’d kicked me out.

  “Whatever, Kyle. Just be careful. She’s been through a lot of shit lately.”

  That made two of us.

  Kyle

  “Kyle, I swear I don’t want to get involved in your personal business, but what the hell is up with you and Tiffany?”

  Damn it. It had been a month now since Tiff and I had been meeting late at night, and nobody had asked any questions—which was fine with me—until now.

  Groaning and frustrated, I placed my pen on the drawing table. Turning around to face Levi, now an engaged man, I waited a few more seconds to explain. “There’s nothing between us. We’re both fucked up and not looking for anything more. We have fun, and the sex is great. We’re good with that. That’s all. I don’t even know her last name, or how old she is—and I really don’t care.”

  He shook his head in disbelief. “That’s cold, man. What if she gets attached? She is a woman after all.”

  I started laughing. “She won’t. Trust me.” Tiffany had a block of ice in her chest, not a heart.

  “According to Nix and Bekka, she might.”

  “No, man. Tiff never stays over at my place, and she kicks me out of hers every single time. If she does ever start to feel something, I’ll end this arrangement and never see her again. Relationships aren’t for me. They are way too demanding and I’m not interested.”

  “K,” he whispered, and I returned to my drawing. “Don’t be like that. You’re still young. You don’t have to put barriers up in your life.”

  He didn’t know shit.

  “You don’t understand, Levi. What would you do if you were in my shoes? One second you’re walking along with your fiancée, all happy and shit, and the next second she’s down on the ground, bleeding and dying.”

  The emotions spreading on his face said it all. He didn’t want to think about losing Nix. “Please don’t, Kyle. I don’t know how it feels, I can only imagine how awful it really is. I love Nix with everything I am and can’t imagine my life without her.”

  “I felt that way about Cassidy, I still do. Except, she’s not here anymore.” The words were making me sick to my stomach.

  “We never talk about it, Kyle. I’m here if you want—”

  “You know what happened, there’s nothing left to be said. Life sucks. She shouldn’t have died that day. Our life was great and we had our future planned. I had the fairy tale, and lost it. Consider me grown up, and now, well, now I’m just breathing.”

  He let a frustrated groan echo in the shop. “I hate that she’s gone, too, K. She made you happy. All those years you guys were together, you smiled, you laughed, and you wanted a better life where you were happy.”

  Levi said the last word so loud it startled me.

  “I’ve watched you faking all of these in recent years. When you smile or laugh, it’s fake. I’m sick and tired of watching you drink every other night to forget and numb everything out. You’re a good man, Kyle Layne, and you deserve better than the life you live now.”

  “Shut up, Levi. You don’t know shit.” The nerve of him to act like he knows me. He didn’t know me at all. “I’m out of here.” The chair fell backward when I got up, but I didn’t give a damn. Grabbing my hoodie, I kicked the door open and got the hell out of the shop.

  Angry, my hands turned into fists while my pulse skyrocketed. I had no idea where to go or what to do with myself. Tyler was probably with Bekka and the club still closed for the day. I could always hang out with the guys at Lucky 13. For years now it had been my place to go whenever I needed some space to think. They knew me well, and always had the vodka bottle ready.

  “I’m sick and tired of watching you drink every other night to forget and numb everything out.”

  It pissed me off that my best friend had been such an ass to me. How could he? Why? I didn’t understand; Levi always had my back.

  Walking to Lucky 13 allowed me time to relax. My mind wandered between Cassidy and Tiffany. I loved Cassidy with all my heart, and I didn’t love Tiff, but we were having a good time together. We were on the same page.

  “Hey, Kyle.” Presley’s voice resonated in between the buildings on each side of the streets. “How are you doing? Are you going to Lucky?”

  We shook hands and kept on walking in direction of the bar.

  “I’m okay, and yes, I’m headed to Lucky. You?”

  “Yeah. Got an empty schedule for the day, so might as well hang out with my brother.”

  “Still happy being a photographer? Do you miss tattooing?”

  “To me, they’re kind of the same thing. And I still tattoo, but my main focus is on photography. Business is going great and I get to travel a lot.”

  “I don’t have time for that. I did just move into a loft, though. That’s about all the traveling I’ve done in the past ten years.” I laughe
d as I held the door to the bar.

  We entered the establishment, where a soft rhythm and blues melody played in the background.

  “You should, man. Seriously, the world has so much to offer.”

  I laughed again. “Yeah, maybe I will.”

  Presley was passionate, an artist. I would love to see life through his eyes once. I was certain the colors were ten times more vivid, and every sound more melodious. There was something about him. Was I an artist? Arts, drawing, and tattooing were all things I loved in life, but I was no Van Gogh, like Presley. I knew my job well and always pushed myself to learn new things, but Presley had something magical.

  We had a couple of beers together. Josh, his brother, joined us and we talked enough to distract me from what was still livid in the back of my mind. Levi and his big mouth.

  “So, you have a girlfriend now or what?” Presley slammed his fist on my shoulder.

  “Nah, I don’t have time for that. I’m way too busy.”

  “Bullshit,” Joshua said as he approached, his bottle of beer to his lips. “You have commitment issues.”

  Chuckling, I thought to myself, If only that were my only problem.

  “Nah, it’s just a matter of time,” Presley added. “The right girl will come along someday.”

  “What about you guys?” I wanted to turn the attention back to them. If this discussion ended in a bad way, I didn’t know where else to go. One disastrous conversation a day, por favor!

  “I found someone, and it’s pretty damn serious.” Presley’s smile told me the girl meant the world to him. From what I’d heard, he hadn’t had it easy before, so he deserved a break.

  “Still with my girl!” Josh boasted.

  Lifting my drink up in the air, I said, “Let’s drink to that.”

  They didn’t bring up my single status again. I thanked them for that. We talked about sports and the tattoo conventions happening in the next couple of months.

  Leaving the bar tipsy, my mind had calmed down at last. Joshua and Presley had cheered me up, and my day was better by the time I headed home. The walk to my loft seemed longer than usual, and I started whistling a song. It took me a minute to realize it was Cassidy’s favorite song.

  The peace of mind was disturbed by my phone. Curious, I checked the screen to see the caller was Levi. I hesitated, then didn’t pick up. I needed more time. Levi had called numerous times and left several messages. He should have known better. After all these years, he knew that when we argued about my past or how I handled my life, I required some time to let it go. I wouldn’t say I was spiteful, but when it concerned my own private life, it always hurt more when I had to defend myself.

  For the next several days, the shop was on the quiet side. Levi was respecting my privacy and letting me handle my life without passing judgment. Our friendship had always been strong; this situation wouldn’t leave a mark.

  Kyle

  Weeks went by, and not much changed.

  I did go back to the gym and got back into kickboxing, a sport I’d gotten to know and love when life took its meaning away. Kickboxing, and boxing, helped me get a hold of myself and deal with the anger inside. Levi joined me sometimes, but most times it was easy to lose myself in the sport. I loved what it did to my body. How powerful and active it felt. Waking up before the sunrise had become my daily routine—hangover or not. Using this method of escaping the angst inside of me became my therapy.

  We managed to fit more people into the shop schedule than we thought possible. Seattle appeared to be undergoing a tattooing trend, and we weren’t complaining one bit. Plus, Levi and Nix were getting married any day now, once she was better, and the extra business helped distract him from his anxiety. With Nix’s recent drug relapse and her stay in rehab, Levi adopted the shop as his happy place, where he had the habit of listening to the same song, on repeat. Thankfully, Nix was getting great support, and getting stronger than ever.

  “Maybe it’s time to think about hiring someone to help us around here?” Levi suggested.

  “Yeah, maybe. But I’d rather be busy as hell than work with someone I don’t trust. Maybe an intern or apprentice would be a better place to start? That way we can kick them to the curb if the arrangement sucks.”

  Levi nodded. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

  Both of us were working on designs rather than tattooing when Tiff entered the shop with coffees in hand.

  “Hey, guys,” she said, almost tripping on the small carpet at the entrance.

  I jumped up to secure the coffees and welcomed her in with a cheesy, “Hey, girl.”

  Her rosy cheeks matched her lips, which were covered in a reddish gloss. She looked great, but it surprised me to see her here by herself.

  “Do you want to get a tattoo or something?” Her presence intrigued me. Normally she accompanied Nix, but she’d never come alone. A first.

  She laughed as a pink shade covered her cheeks. “Nah, this is just a surprise pop in. Checking up on you guys.” She handed me the drinks. “I hope they’re how you like them.”

  Levi stepped closer and took a coffee from me. “We aren’t difficult. Thank you.”

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  The shop grew quiet then, and it made me uncomfortable. As weird as it may seem, I’d spent many nights with Tiff but we didn’t exactly talk when we were together, so I didn’t know what to say to her now. I sipped my coffee while watching Levi, and then furrowed my eyebrows when I realized none of us were talking.

  “So, what have you been up to lately?”

  “Working and hanging out with the girls. Same as usual, nothing special really.”

  I nodded.

  “I bet Nix is keeping you busy with the wedding coming, though,” Levi added, and chuckling, she agreed.

  “Are you sure you don’t want a tattoo? Since you’re here,” I offered along with my most beautiful smile, sure she wouldn’t be able to resist me. Tiffany started laughing at the top of her lungs, but didn’t say no.

  “What’s it going to be? Something big or something small? Come on. It’s on me.”

  Levi rolled his eyes and left me to take care of Tiff. Once he was back at his work station, and I stood alone with Tiff, the awkwardness lightened up by the second.

  “What would you suggest?” she asked in the flirtiest way, unashamed. As she looked at me, her eyes shone with the desire we shared in our intimate moments but never in public.

  My mind told me to back off, give her space, but another part of me said to dig and find out what she’d wanted bad enough to come here.

  “It’s a tattoo, Tiff. That’s personal. I can’t decide for you. You can always think about it and come back. The deal will be the same.”

  She flipped her long as hell hair to the other side of her head. “Yeah, I think you’re right there, K. I’ll come back after I’ve had a think about it.”

  “You know how to reach me.” Which she did. We texted each other often because of our late night meetings.

  “Actually, I was wondering if it’d be okay to join you for your morning workout.”

  I stared at Tiff and waited for her to say she was kidding, but she didn’t. My morning workout involved a lot of running and weightlifting. Not trying to be sexist or judgmental, but I didn’t think she’d be able to keep up with my routine. “Are you sure? It’s intensive.”

  Unexpectedly, she rushed up to me and gave me a quick hug before a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be able to keep up, don’t worry.” Pulling away with a wink, she walked toward the door. “Laters, guys.”

  A long moment of silence followed her departure. In my head, I kept repeating, What the fuck was that? I had no idea. Tiff and I kept our distance most of the time; I had no reason to try and connect with her. She was a nice girl and all, but cold and distant. What she’d just done was a first. Tiffany had crossed the barrier we kept between us, and to be honest, I didn’t like it. Our current arrangement suited me. No strings attached, absolutely nothing else—but wh
at if she wants to be friends? Could I do that?

  “Are you sure there is nothing between you and her?” Levi shattered the silence, and I refused to answer. He knew me better than that.

  After texting her at midnight to let her know I would be leaving my loft at 5:30 a.m., I was sure she would quit already. Who likes to wake up that early? Nobody. But her reply was swift.

  Brilliant. I’ll be there.

  Damn, I thought.

  It was still dark outside when I stepped outside the front door of my building. I saw her right away, because it was impossible to miss her fluorescent pink leggings. They were paired with a black hoodie with pink lettering on the sleeves and back. Something to do with an athletic team back in the UK. We nodded at each other.

  “Ready?”

  “Yep,” she chirped.

  We started running. I didn’t slow down my pace for her and she didn’t ask me to. My kickboxing ensured I had good cardio habits. She followed me all the way through the Market and then, to the gym. More or less nine miles.

  “Are you okay?” I asked while we approached the doors. She nodded and followed me inside the gym, where she paid for her visit after I flashed my member card.

  While I drank some water from the water fountain to ease the burning sensation in my lungs, she did some stretching. Her legs first and then her arms. Damn. She looked great, like she was in her element. Of course, I’d noticed her body before, naked and writhing below me, but it surprised me at this moment.

  “You’re in pretty good shape, Tiff. I didn’t think you were going to be able to keep up.”

  She pushed me away from the fountain and got some water. “Surprise!” she said with sarcasm. “I’m good with sports, always have been.”