by Jude Ouvrard
“Good. I’m sorry I didn’t stay with you. None of this would have happened if I had. I acted like a coward.” I kneeled beside him wanting proximity. “We’ve never fought before… never like that.”
“I know. I was so mad at you for leaving me alone with Rob. Even madder when you disappeared. I didn’t know what to think when you wouldn’t pick up your damn phone.” I started crying again. “That’s not the Kyle I know. The Kyle I know would’ve stayed with me. What happened to you?”
“Bad decisions, lots of them. All I can say is that I’m sorry.” His eyes closed for a short instant and I saw his chest react like he’d been punched. “I feel like all the promises I’ve made to you were broken tonight. In the future, I mean starting now, I’ll be a better man. Oh, I also promise next time I see Rob, I’m kicking his ass.”
“I’m pretty sure what I told him felt like a beating, so we’re okay for tonight.” I shrugged. “Besides, not all promises were broken. You never promised to stick by me if we ever met Rob. I should’ve told you to stay. Just don’t ever disappear on me again.” My heart wouldn’t be able to deal with this a second time. I’d thought I lost him.
“I promise I won’t.” A soft whisper came out of his lips. “Come here, I want to kiss you. If you’ll let me?”
As if I wouldn’t kiss you, Kyle-the-perfect-smoocher, I thought. Mad or not, I would never say no to him.
“I want you to kiss me. After we move to the bed, because I’m not planning on stopping after one kiss.” What better way to make up for the shitty argument we’d just had thanks to my cheating arsehole of an ex-boyfriend?
Kyle helped me up, and then didn’t hesitate in removing my clothes while we made out. We had to make peace properly, after all.
“Your skin is cold.”
“And you’re hot. Warm me?”
Oh, and did he ever. Kyle did so much more than warming me up, in fact.
We turned into a blazing wildfire.
Tiffany
At sunrise we were woken by noises coming from all around us. We’d been asleep maybe an hour. Showers running, people opening and closing doors, chatter and footsteps out in the hall, it was all too much to wake up to after such an emotional night.
“What should we do?”
“They’re probably tourists, and will leave eventually. It’ll quiet down soon. I say we try to get more sleep.”
“Uh-huh.”
Cuddling closer and drifting back off, we managed to add a few more hours to our bad night of sleep.
When I woke again for the second time, Kyle was still deep asleep. I watched him, thinking about the mess we’d suffered through last night. It was my belief that everything happened for a reason. Before coming back here, I’d feared my past would interact with my present. Maybe I tempted fate too much, because what I’d dreaded came to pass. Had it ruined my relationship with Kyle? Not really. Had his vision of me changed with time? I don’t think so. Could it have been worse? Absolutely. If Kyle had stayed, chances are good he would have punched Rob in the face, or worse, and could’ve ended up in jail. So, last night hadn’t been so bad. The whole experience, including our bad decisions, was bringing us closer.
Nobody’s perfect and we’re all entitled to make mistakes. This would be my mantra of the day.
Using my phone to snap a picture of his cute face, I fell for him a little more. The tattoos covering most of his body, his luscious lips, and his sex-ravaged hair had my lower belly twisted with need. Still far from waking up, however, I rested my head on his chest to try falling asleep for the third time.
Unconscious, Kyle’s arms wrapped around me while he mumbled something I couldn’t decipher, and then he kissed me. I nestled against him, getting comfortable, and started feeling sleepy again.
“I love you, K.”
“Hmmph.”
I took that as “me too.” Drunk off his manly perfume, I let myself enjoy our kissing session.
With a bit of luck, we wouldn’t have them too often.
Kyle
For our last day in London, we decided to have breakfast at a restaurant. It was hard to believe that by the end of the day, we were returning home already. Klint had gotten to know me better and now we were able to have a conversation, including laughter. I understood why he’d acted standoffish at first. Klint wanted to be sure I was a good fit for his daughter.
“You’re so quiet this morning. What are you thinking about?” Tiff couldn’t hide her concern for me.
“This trip went too fast. I wish we could stay longer.”
Smiling, she took a sip of her black tea. “We can come back anytime. My parents are very fond of you. Now.” She looked at her parents with a smile on her face.
Clary would be a wonderful mother-in-law. She was caring and funny, and I could see Tiff had gotten her strong personality from her. When Klint kept giving me the cold shoulder, Clary put her foot down saying enough was enough, and pointed out how their daughter had never looked happier. His attitude changed right away, and he even invited me for a beer at a pub he liked to hang out at, and we talked. I told him about the shop, our friends, and our plans. I also mentioned Cassidy. He got it. Tiff and I shared a lot.
“We’ve had a good time,” I agreed.
“It was a pleasure having you here. We need to do this more often,” Clary said.
“We will, but I’m ready to head back to work. It’ll be a new routine for both of us. Well, new since Kyle and I got together officially.”
“Yes, I know. I think that’s part of why I wish we could stay here longer. I’m not ready. I miss the shop and my job, of course, but we work different hours. You work most nights.” I said.
Tiff nodded, and her eyes flashed with panic, indicating this made her anxious, too.
“We can have lunch together every day, babe.”
“I’m counting on it.” I took her hand in mine and started drawing circles on her palm with my thumb.
“I could always change jobs… eventually.”
Clary and Klint got up and took our empty tea cups with them. Maybe they wanted to give us privacy while we talked about our return and the new adjustments we would need to do.
“If you like your job at the club, I don’t want you to change.”
“I do like it, but I would also like to do more with my life than be a waitress. Maybe I could teach gymnastics or something. I don’t know yet, I haven’t figured it out.”
“There is no hurry, beautiful. We’ll figure it out together.”
“I know.”
As we ate, we talked all together. It was another beautiful day in London. We’d been fortunate, and hadn’t seen much rain during our trip.
“We need to get presents for Nix, Becca, and Val before we go back. Anything with the British flag should work.”
She started laughing. “Okay, I know where to go. It’s a store where you can find anything from keychains to G-strings with the Union Jack on them.”
I almost spat my coffee out, and laughing, said, “I’m not getting them G-strings. Levi, Tyler and Miles would beat my ass.”
“Well, duh. I was just saying they have a variety of gifts.”
“You, on the other hand…” I teased.
She blushed. “The idea of wearing a flag over my hoo-ha is... weird. There’s always Agent Provocateur, if you’re in the mood to get me real lingerie.”
“Anytime.”
We’d had a huge argument the other night, but since it’d happened, things seemed to have gotten even better with us. We talked and laughed more now; everything was smooth sailing. We’d gotten stronger with each day and I got a chance to see firsthand what a good heart Tiffany had. She made time to meet with the kids at the sports center one afternoon to help them with their routine. She remained careful because of her injured knee and kept both feet on the ground. Although Tiff had mentioned her passion for gymnastics, I’d not seen her in action or given it much thought. Until now. Watching her with the kids, coaching them
on how to do all kind of flips, impressed me. She was clearly in her element. She would never be able to do gymnastics again herself, but she had a lot of knowledge to share.
While we ate the last of our breakfast, we cemented our plans for the afternoon. A little shopping for our friends, but also for her parents, too. It was important for me to thank them for accepting me into their daughter’s life. I wanted to get them something nice like an expensive bottle of wine, or maybe champagne.
“I’m so exhausted, I’m looking forward to sleeping on the plane.”
“I’m planning the same thing. Going out last night was fun, but man, I’m paying for it now,” I said with an exaggerated groan.
Last night, we’d gone back to the pub, where a popular singer happened to show up without his band. He played guitar and sang, but kept things low profile as he talked and joked with everyone. It’d been a pleasant surprise. We enjoyed several pints over the early part of evening, but finished up drinking tea and coffee until the wee hours of the morning before we called it a night and went back to her place.
The best part about last night was that Rob didn’t show up this time. In fact, Tiff hadn’t heard from him since that one night. Although we’d both expected him to try and reach her again, it seemed he’d taken her words to heart because, he hadn’t tried.
“It was a good time. It did make me miss The Black Shakers and our friends, though. They’ve become like family to me.”
I loved hearing her say that. “They’re more of a family to me than my biological one is.”
“Will I meet your mum someday?”
“Maybe? I just, I haven’t talked to her in a while. Our relationship, it’s… we’re different.”
“I’d like to meet her regardless.”
Okay, this is serious. “Then you will, I promise.”
“Thank you. It’s important to me to meet her. I don’t know all the details of your relationship with her, but she should be proud of you.”
“She has many reasons not to be proud. I was a mess for many years, almost self-destructive.”
“But you’re not anymore. Not even close. People change. Maybe she has too.”
Because of you. I didn’t say it out loud, but I almost did.
I wasn’t so bad anymore, though there were still moments where I didn’t care about being reckless. There’d been too many mornings where I couldn’t recall how I’d found my way home the night before. I hated waking up after losing parts of the previous night wondering, Did Levi or Tyler give me a ride? Or someone else? Levi lectured me more often than not, but still watched my back whenever I lapsed into the not caring mode—which, fortunate for me, hadn’t happened much since Tiffany had entered my life.
“I don’t care so much about who you were. I like the man you are now.”
“What if, for whatever reason, I went back to my old ways?”
Tiffany shook her head, mouth agape with disbelief. “I’d kick your ass,” she kidded. “If you ever go back to your old ways, it’ll be because there’s something from your past pulling you back to them. If that happens, then we’ll figure it out together.”
I nodded. “It may be hard for you to believe, but if someone unwanted from your past returns, I’ll protect you. I’ll never leave you again, like I did with Rob. I’m so sorry about that.”
“I know, and I believe you. I’ve thought about it, and what happened the other night was meant to happen. Telling Rob about the baby helped me feel better. So, I’m thankful that you left me this time, just don’t ever do it again.” She snickered.
“I’m sorry about the baby. When I found out about Cassidy’s pregnancy, I freaked out for two seconds, but then the idea brought me so much happiness.”
“Thanks to everything going on with Rob, I wasn’t well, but that little bean growing inside of me represented hope. I lost it way too soon. Nothing has ever hurt more than losing that baby,” she murmured, her attention focused on her hands while she avoided looking at me. “I had nothing left on the outside, but I had that life growing inside me. I wanted to be the best mother ever, and was ready to make any sacrifices I had to.”
“You would be the most amazing mother.”
She smiled as a tear rolled to her lips. “Thank you.”
All this time, whenever I thought about my lost child, I’d never considered I might get the chance to be a father again. Now, here I was hoping that it would become a reality. Soon. Tiff and I’d both suffered the same loss of living with the knowledge we’d created a person who never had the chance to live. Talk about fucked up.
“You and me, Tiff…” I started, the emotions growing thick in my throat. I wanted everything with her, but feared saying the words.
“I know, K, I feel the same way.”
Sharing these heightened emotions in the middle of a restaurant, we completed each other as much got lost in each other.
“I don’t know how I managed to stay away from you for so long, because now, I don’t think I could go back to being just friends. I need you in my life.” I opened my heart to her since I had nothing to hide.
“I thought the same thing last night. Something pulled me to you, and I didn’t want to let it happen. It’s a lost cause, though, because I can’t hold back anymore. I’m all in.”
I wanted to say something, but couldn’t. This whole conversation had left me speechless, but she didn’t seem to mind. I held her hand still and kissed her palm once, twice. Sometimes happiness can do that to you.
We took a last walk around town. I could do this every single day of my life, if it meant we were spending time together.
“When we’re back home, we have to find time to do this. Spend time together, just you and me. It’ll be too easy to lose ourselves in our jobs, friends, and all. That scares me.”
Tiff had never been one to talk about her fears like this, so I listened to her admission with rapt attention.
“Absolutely. Lunch or dinner together, as much as we can. Both when possible. We can still go to the club together. We’ll find a way, I don’t want to lose what we have now.” I’d done that once already; I wasn’t going to lose my happiness now that I’d found it again.
“Where do you see yourself a year from now?” she asked.
I could so easily fuck up with this question. I had to be careful.
“With you, of course. I don’t take you for granted. I see us together, you pregnant, maybe, or with a newborn. I don’t want to waste any more time. Not that we have to rush into parenthood, but I won’t mind if it happens, you know? That’s the future I want. I’m ready.” Holding up a finger, I asked to her to give me a minute. It was important to make myself clear. “I know we just got together, but before, when we were friends, I still cared a lot about you—even if I didn’t act like it.”
“While it all seems fast, Kyle, somehow, I feel the same way.”
This conversation was so heavy, serious, and dream-like, my heart was about to come out of my chest. Ours wasn’t an insta-love story, as I’d done everything not too fall for her. But now, I wanted a family with her. I wanted a future for us.
Throughout the rest of the day I floated on a cloud of happiness. Until it was time for Tiff to say farewell to her parents. Seeing her hurt brought me back to reality.
“We’ll come back, sweetheart.”
“I know, but I’ve had a really good visit with them. The best one in years.”
“It’s good that you’re leaving with a happy heart, Tiff. You can video chat with them as much as you want, and we’ll visit again soon. You might actually have to fight me not to come back. I’ve loved it here with you and your family.”
“Why do you have to say things like that all the time? You’re such a sweetheart, you make my heart melt.”
While I tried not to be overly romantic, because cheesy stuff could be too much to handle, when it came to her, it wasn’t about saying what she wanted to hear, it was all about being real and making her happy.
Returning home brought joy and sadness. Tiff couldn’t deny it was hard to leave London again, in particular since she was on much better terms with her family, and herself. Leaving this time hadn’t been an escape for her, though; it had meant a return to our life together in Seattle. We knew adjustments would have to be made, and we were ready.
At the airport, our friends surprised us by being there to welcome us home. A long day of getting together and having fun was ahead. Even though the time difference and the long hours spent on the plane had kicked our butts big time, we were outnumbered… and we’d missed them a lot.
“So, K, how’s everything going?” Levi asked when it was just the two of us packing the suitcases in the trunk.
“It’s serious. We are. I never...” I trailed off unable to put it into words.
He laughed. “I know, man. Embrace every second of it.”
“I am,” I said, and he bumped his shoulder to mine.
“I better be the best man and godfather, when the time comes.”
“Whichever comes first,” I promised.
I’d missed Levi. We were the best definition of a good, durable friendship. Working together day in and day out, dealing with the business, sharing the same friends, they were all reasons which could have caused conflict between us, but they never did.
“Come on, man, let’s get out of here.” Nothing personal against the parking lot, but I wanted to drop everything at home and then maybe run by the shop. Ink Me was a big part of my life, so I wanted to make sure everything was okay. Not that it wasn’t in Levi’s hands, I was just a control freak.
Once we were in Levi’s car, he turned on the music, and to our surprise, Nix was singing with a band.
“You guys keeping secrets now?”
“No, it wasn’t something we planned. I found my cousin, who has a band, on Facebook, and things dominoed from there,” Levi explained.