Christmas Goes Camo

by Allie Standifer, Brenna Zinn, Desiree Holt

  * * * *

  She was a fool.

  Worse yet, she was a fool with a broken heart because the being she’d fallen head over heels for was hell-bent on allowing humans to dominate the world.

  If she didn’t focus on what she was doing, she would be a fool with an arrow coming out of her ass.

  Tasha scanned the horizon, searching for Cupid’s Vinions. According to Sonia, a band of the wily sex bombs were close by. Somehow, they’d been tipped off to the location she’d marked for Santa’s new factory. There were reports they planned to pummel the area with their magic arrows, making the perfect location unusable. But all she saw was ice, snow, and more ice. Well, that and the bed Reggie had left behind. Talk about a huge target. A blind person couldn’t miss the idiotic, zebra-striped bed out here in middle of all the open whiteness.

  Tired and more than a little saddle sore, she sat down on the bed. Though the mattress wasn’t as firm as the one in her cave, it wasn’t too bad. Maybe Reggie had a little taste after all. The pint-sized punk couldn’t be any worse than Axel. At least Reggie wasn’t threatening to eradicate every magical being on the planet, or force them into living some place so horrible even humans wouldn’t want to be there.

  The crack in her heart deepened, spreading a hurt through Tasha that stung worse than being kicked in the gut by a reindeer. In another second, if she didn’t get her mind off Axel, a big chunk of her heart would fall off. Then where would she be? If she were smart, she’d forget about the drug-happy human and find a nice elf to fall in love with. Goodness knew her mother would be happy. Settling down with an elf would be one step closer towards getting Tasha off the B.E.L.L. force and into the toy factory. A future like that would put her mother into a happy conniption fit. She would be miserable, but would it matter any more? She had fallen for and had ended an affair with a guy who was going to put an end to the last uninhabited spaces where other-worldly creatures could exist. Best she let go of him and try to somehow get on with her life.

  Actually, now that she thought about it, if she was smart, she’d tell the Commander about the Thermavan. If the humans ever did get the drug to work, their world really would be in danger. Maybe all the other-worldly beings could come together and somehow put a stop to the whole Thermavan business. If they stuck together, they could be a very powerful and influential force. She certainly wouldn’t want to fight against any angry trolls or hostile Yetis.

  A cold blast of air blew across the frozen terrain, blowing Tasha’s long hair in a dozen different directions. The Vinions must be close.

  Tasha bent to gather enough snow for a call to her Commander, when out of the blue sky a messenger rider and reindeer appeared, coming to a stop only a foot from where she sat. Other than the gust of wind, there had been no notice of the rider’s arrival. The bells on the deer’s harness had been removed. Santa law required flying deer to wear bells to warn everyone of their approach. Not having them on was a huge safety violation. Something about this scenario was off. Way off.

  Reginald Redberry jumped off the reindeer with his messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He sauntered to the bed and adjusted the small package bulging from the crotch of his green tights.

  “I’ve decided to give you one last chance, Tasha. Even though you disrespected me, I’ve got a forgiving nature. I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. It’s just another example of the great guy I am.” He removed his bag, letting it fall to the ground. “I mean look at me. I’m not only a freakin’ stud, I’m a nice guy. Therefore, I deserve a hot elf like you. Imagine the hot children we could have. They’d be freakin’ gorgeous.”

  Swallowing hard, Tasha kept her rising nausea at bay. “Now isn’t the time for this, Reggie. Cupid is on the attack and is expected to be here any minute. The other B.E.L.L.S. will be here soon, too. You aren’t safe here.”

  “Oh, I’m plenty safe, Sugar Plum.” Reggie opened his pack and removed a golden bow and a quiver of silver arrows. He pulled out an arrow and placed the notched end on the bow’s taut string, then pointed the arrow’s heart-shaped tip at her. “The only one who needs to worry is you. Now put your hands up where I can see them.”

  Blood rushed to her head, making her ears ring. The little twerp had finally gone off the deep end. She had trained in hundreds of different battle scenarios to be ready for just about any situation, but she hadn’t prepared for an attack by one of her own kind.

  “Reggie, what are you doing?” Tasha stood and raised her hands above her head. Without making any abrupt gestures, she took a small step back, then another. If she could just get enough of a head start, she might be able to jump behind the bed and use it as a shield. At least then she’d have a chance to draw her gun and protect herself. Kicking the bow from his hand was her only other option, but he was too far away.

  “I’m making good on a deal, Sugar Plum. You see, Cupid agreed to shoot you with a love arrow so you’d finally come to your senses about me. In exchange, I gave him the location of the site you picked out. Pretty clever, huh?” His lips pulled into a grin, but the smile never met his eyes. His pupils were cold and black, devoid of any feeling.

  Tasha took another step back on the icy ground and broke eye contact with Reggie just long enough to see how far she was from her perfect leaping spot. Only three more feet and she should be able to clear the end of the bed. That is, if she didn’t slip on the slick snow. She needed just a little more time.

  “But why are you holding the bow?” she asked, desperate to come up with anything to keep him talking and focused on her face rather than her retreating feet. “Why isn’t Cupid here to do his own dirty work?”

  If she could just keep him talking, her plan just might work.

  “’Cause I want to be the one to shoot the arrow in your heart. I want to be the first person you see when its love magic takes effect.” He licked his thick lips, then smiled his oily smile. “You will love me, Tasha. Oh, yes, you most definitely will.”

  A snowball the size of a football suddenly flew from behind the bed, hitting Reggie squarely in the head. The golden bow and silver arrow fell from his chubby hands to the ground. Reggie’s eyes rolled to the back of his skull and the little man’s knees buckled. He tumbled forward, catching his chin on the edge of the mattress, and was then tossed backwards. He landed on the frozen ground with a thud.

  Tasha let out a scream and reached down to her thigh for her gun.

  “Stand down, Tasha. It’s me.”

  Completely camouflaged in white, Axel was little more than a blur against the snow-covered landscape. He ran to her side and held her, keeping her from falling over herself.

  “How, how did you follow me?” she stammered. “I never saw you.”

  “Not only am I a doctor, I’m a master at camouflage. If you had detected me, I wouldn’t be doing my job very well, now would I?”

  She leaned around Axel’s studly body, taking in Reggie’s crumpled form on the ground. “Is he dead?”

  Axel sat her down on the bed, then knelt by Reggie and placed two fingers on his neck. “No. He’s breathing and his heartbeat is fine. He’ll live, but he’s going to have one hell of a headache when he wakes up.”

  “I don’t understand,” Tasha said, holding her hands so they wouldn’t shake. “Why are you here?”

  “Because I think you’re right.” He looked up at her, his eyes glowing. “There isn’t enough magic or mystery left in the world these days. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be the one who’s responsible for the end of Santa or his elves. I’d rather go down in the history books as the guy who quietly retired from the military and lived happily ever after. But I don’t think a happily ever after will be possible for me…without you.”

  His answer nearly melted her heart. Axel wasn’t a bad guy after all. But then again, did she really ever doubt that? And, he wanted her. Really wanted her. There was no doubt in her mind she wanted him. If the six months they’d been apart had taught her anything, it was that life was much f
uller and richer when he was around to share it with. In every possible way, Axel completed her.

  “But what about the Thermavan?” she asked. “Even if you aren’t around to finish stabilising it, someone will take over your work. It’s only a matter of time.”

  Axel shook his head. “No. It will never work.” He left Reggie and sat down beside Tasha. “The formula the military has isn’t what I’ve been using. I’ve seen too many things fall into the wrong hands and then be used for all the wrong reasons. So I committed my formula to memory. My formula is the one closest to working, but it’s still far from perfect. The best the military can do without me is make a drug that will give their soldiers hard-ons.”

  Tasha laughed out loud and held Axel’s hands. “Sounds like the perfect kind of military to me.”

  “I’d have to agree.”

  “Can you agree to one last thing, Axel?” She swallowed hard, almost afraid to ask. “My Commander is picking up all the B.E.L.L.S. soon and we’re leaving for Christmas Town. We have to report back to Santa with the information we gathered about a suitable place to build a second toy factory. But we’ll be back in a week. The other B.E.L.L.S., Sonia and Kendil, have hooked up with the other guys from your mission. They’re coming back, too.” She took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to ask the most important question of her life. “Will you meet me back here on Christmas Eve?” She released the bottled breath and hoped beyond all hope he’d say yes.

  “Tasha, I want to make sure you understand what my intentions are. I want much more from you than just a ‘wham bam, thank you ma’am’ in your cave.” With the pad of his finger, he lifted her chin so her gaze met his. “I’m going to retire from the military in January. I’ve got a lot of plans for my life once I’m no longer committed to the United States Army. I want to travel the world on a boat, watch the sun set off the portside bow, and, most importantly, wake up each morning with you.”

  Axel slid off the zebra-striped bed and positioned himself on one knee before her. “If there really is a Santa, I hope he’ll be kind enough to give me a very special Christmas present. When I go back home, I don’t plan to come back alone.” He picked up her hand and gazed into her eyes. “Tasha, will you be my wife?”

  A lump the size of a Nerf ball caught in her throat. Strange white dots danced before her eyes. “Did you just ask me to marry you?” she asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

  “Yes, ma’am, I did.” He squeezed her hand between both of his. “Will you take this old soldier to be your loving husband? Forever?”

  “Forever’s a long time,” she said with a smile, her heart nearly overflowing with joy. “But if you think you can live with a misfit, half-elf for the rest of your life, then yes!”

  Axel whisked Tasha off the bed and swung her around. “You don’t know just how happy you’ve made me, you beautiful, redheaded elf.”

  “I just hope you’ve got some really good insurance and plenty of life preservers on your boat. Trouble has a weird way of finding me, no matter where I’m at.”

  A deep belly laugh burst from Axel. He held her close and nuzzled her face with his day-old beard. “Then we’ll have to make sure we include a first-aid kit and a fire extinguisher on our wish list for Santa this year. We’ll get whatever we need to live out our lives—together.”

  About the Author

  Equally at home camping in the mountains of Montana or shopping on the Champs-Elyseés in Paris, Brenna's journey through life has taken her all over the United States, as well as many places throughout the world. Using her travel experience as a guide and peppering in interesting characters she's met along the way, Brenna enjoys artfully weaving erotic tales of romance to leave readers yearning for adventures of their own.

  Email: Brenna.Zinn@yahoo.com.

  Brenna loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.total-e-bound.com.

  MELTING THE ICE

  Desiree Holt

  Dedication

  To Allie and Brenna, the best ever

  Trademark Acknowledgement

  The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmark mentioned in this work of fiction:

  Nomex: E. I. du Pont de Nemours and Company Corporation

  Prologue

  The huge sleigh swept across the sky, B.E.L.L.S. jingling with the swaying motion as wind currents buffeted it this way and that. The reindeer pranced on the frozen air, their breath making little tiny puffs like cotton clouds. The driver, in his heavy green outfit that covered him from head to toe including a warm cap that came down over his ears, hummed Christmas carols to himself. His passenger huddled into her seat, a green and red plaid blanket wrapped around her as she cursed under her breath.

  Why me? Why did I have to get the call? This is just stupid, stupid, stupid.

  It’d been bad enough when that fat old man in the red suit had announced he was building a second headquarters and toy factory at the South Pole. The South Pole! Hadn’t anyone told him it was colder down there than at the North Pole? Apparently he didn’t care. Now, he was sending the three of them off one week before Christmas! They should all be busy with the last-minute preparations instead of off on this wild-ass idea.

  “Buckle up,” he’d told the three B.E.L.L.S. he’d chosen when he’d called them in for a meeting. “We’ve outgrown our current facilities, as I’m sure you’re all aware. With this new age of electronic toys, we are just flat out of room to work.”

  “Why can’t we just build more buildings up here?” someone had whined.

  He’d turned his famous glare on the elf who’d dared to speak out. “Because I’ve decided we need two completely separate locations. Did you want to argue with me?” He waited but they were all silent. “All right, then. As I was saying, it’s time to expand our horizons. I trust, as you explore the area, that among the three of you, someone will find the perfect spot to build our new location.”

  It was bad enough that they couldn’t search as a group. He’d quite deliberately given each of them a separate section of the South Pole to explore. Alone. He didn’t even let them land together. Oh, not. Not him. The team of reindeer, the fastest in the herd, had dropped them in three different locations with all their gear. The only additional assistance they got was the ‘helpful hint’ that they could use their magic powers when they needed to.

  She hadn’t even been scheduled to go on this stupid trip to begin with. She’d had other assignments as the Important Night approached. But then she’d suddenly been appointed head of the new southern toy production factory and put in charge of the trip. As if she didn’t have enough to do already.

  “You have to go,” the old man had told her. “You’re one of the B.E.L.L.S.”

  “Yeah? So?”

  “Aren’t you the Battle Elves trained in Logic warfare and Land defence Scouts?” He rubbed his red nose. “Who else would I send? Word has arrived that Cupid, with his Red Army of Vinions, is on the warpath again.”

  “Somehow that deranged archer has learned of our expansion plans,” Mrs. Red Suit had told them. “We understand he’s marshalling his forces and his magic to stop us.”

  “That’s right.” The big man sighed. “He’s still doing his damndest to make Valentine’s Day bigger than Christmas. So you see? You’re the logical choice for many reasons.”

  The other members of the team had also been replaced by B.E.L.L.S., so they’d be heading down south as a well-armed and well-trained team of elf warriors. And the B.E.L.L.S. had orders to thwart Cupid and get on with business.

  Yeah, right.

  But that was only part of it. Preparations had barely been underway for the trip when they learned the U.S. military planned to parachute three of its best and brightest trained war machines on some kind of secret, ten-day survival mission right where the B.E.L.L.S would be scouting. Apparently, some dipshit thought the South Pole would be the perfect place to
do whatever it was they were supposed to be doing.

  So now, in addition to everything else, they had to watch out for these stupid humans and make sure they didn’t cause trouble. The B.E.L.L.S. were told to foil the military any way they could. After all, toy manufacturers and military bases didn’t exactly mix. How can you have a toy factory going full tilt in the middle of dangerous war games?

  Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this miserable honour?

  The only bright spot, if you could call it that, was the fact that, at the South Pole, they were still in the middle of the six months of sunlight rather than the six months of darkness. Battling winds that could blow an elf straight back to Toyland was bad enough without doing it in the pitch dark.

  “Almost there,” the driver called back to her. “Better buckle up for landing.”

  Sighing, she tightened the belt around her waist and made sure the grab bar across her lap was fastened securely. In seconds, they were hurtling downward, the wind slapping at her face as the frozen ground surged up to meet them.

  Thunk.

  They were down. Cursing again, she struggled from the sleigh and wrestled the pack with her gear from the seat. Slowly, she turned in a circle to see where she was. Nowhere! That was the best description. All she could see was an endless stretch of white snow with nothing to relieve it except the occasional drifts. She’d been told that the occasional skua—otherwise known as a seal bird—might fly over, but at the moment, there wasn’t even the faint sign of one. She gave thanks for her special thermal clothing, since the temperature had barely reached twenty degrees below zero.

  The driver clicked his tongue at the reindeer and flapped the reins. “See you in a week,” he called cheerfully.

  If I haven’t killed myself by then.