Into The Light (The Fallen Shadows)

by Rebecca R. Cohen

  Kat, Serena has killed many Guides in the past and is specifically out to claim Ashs. Didn’t Chance tell you any of this? Serena is in possession of one of the only weapons that could kill the Guides and even the angels-the angel blade. The blade was made as a failsafe for the angels in case the Descended ever found their way back to Heaven,” Molli touched Katharine’s arm gently and spoke to her seriously. Katharine’s eyes lowered under the weight of what she had been told. “Talk to him Kat, if something happens to him before you do you’ll never forgive yourself, trust me.”

  Katharine had no idea of the true danger Ash put himself in every time he set foot outside the Anchorage walls. She had put him on a pedestal as someone indestructible and therefore she allowed herself to hate him in the moments he made her the angriest.

  Ash was in his sleeping quarters patching up his wounds. His quarters were filled with rustic furniture, as if he had gone antiquing in the strangest of places. His bed was enormous and held up high off the floor by large bedposts that were filled with cherub carvings. The walls were covered with pictures of various landmarks from all over. Some Katharine recognized immediately such as the Brooklyn Bridge, the Hollywood sign, the temples of China and Vatican City but some she’d never seen before.

  The picture that hung above the headboard was filled with red and white colored clouds and a sparkling object that appeared to be forcing its way through the cloud cover. It was a sight Katharine had never seen before and couldn’t make heads or tails of.

  When Katharine found Ash he was applying a bandage to the gash on his forehead. The gash was shaped like a misshapen “L” resting just below his hairline. It looked deep, like a knife had been carving into him.

  The pain from his injuries was hard to bear but Ash had been using his external pain to mask that which still remained inside.

  Guilt was a feeling that was all too real and he felt it everyday unrelentingly. Guilt for what happened to MaryAnn? Had he truly been prepared to be a Guide perhaps he could have better prepared her for the ascension.

  He stared at his reflection in the mirror and saw Angelina’s face looking back. The blackness of her hair fell over her the way the moon would cover the sun. Her eyes pierced into Ash’s soul with blues and golds. The yellow hues of her light green eyes sparkled through from the other side of the mirror.

  Ash reached his hand out and stroked the side of her face; of course to Katharine he was merely stroking a mirror.

  The reflection reached her hand out looking for Ash’s; as he stretched to retrieve it the reflection faded into Katharine’s face covered in blood. Ash jumped back nearly falling off the chair upon which he sat. He screamed in desperation.

  “No!” He reached toward the mirror trying to pull her from its grasp but his hands landed on solid glass. When he looked up the reflection had faded back into the guilt-ridden Guide it had always been.

  Katharine rushed into the room frightened by the sound of his scream. He straightened himself up and tried to snap back to reality as Katharine stood before him.

  He cautiously looked into his reflection to make sure his face was all he could see. Sure that the delusions would not reappear he used the mirror attached to his vanity table as a guide to carefully place the bandage on the deepest part of the gash and using the golden thread from the trees in the west garden attempted to seal up the edges of the bandage.

  His hands were bruised and shaking from the fright he’d just had, making it difficult for him to get a good handle on the thread. As it slipped through his fingers and onto the table Katharine grabbed it from him and began to seal up the bandage, despite his hands waving in protest.

  Her touch was gentle and accurate. She stood above him, it was the first time she’d ever seen him as weak. He looked at her as she brushed the hair that had grazed over his face out of the way to make sure the bandage was on properly.

  “I’m so sorry Katharine.” As Katharine’s hand reached the edge of his forehead Ash grabbed it and held it a few inches away from his face.

  “Quiet, let me see if this is on properly.” Katharine looked over her work before feeling confident that she had done a decent job of playing nurse to her wounded warrior. She was curious about his recent freak out but didn’t feel it was appropriate to ask; she assumed it had something to do with Angelina. “Why didn’t you tell me about the angel blade?” Katharine scooted Ash over on the bench he was seated at.

  “I didn’t think it was relevant information. Until today we didn’t even know that Serena had it,” he replied putting the medical equipment into a box on the vanity table. “Why do you find it important to hold things back from me? Chance seems to have no problem telling me everything, probably more information than I care to know.”

  Ash removed himself from the bench and made his way over to his bed where a sheer white shirt was placed out for him. He slipped the shirt over his battered chest, wincing as the fabric brushed into the gash that had found a home on his ribs. The shirt was made of extremely thin fabric allowing his physique to show through.

  He wanted to tell her how he was trying to protect her. How he wished this burden didn’t fall on her. How he wanted to take her out of there and return her to her old life and force her to forget everything she knew about him. But he couldn’t do any of that. There was a bigger picture, one that would keep her safe.

  His heart felt as though it would fall out of his chest, broken and bruised, revealing all his darkest secrets. She sat in front of him with the weight of the world on her shoulders yet her eyes showed concern for him. Concern he didn’t feel he deserved.

  He wanted to hold her in his arms and shelter her from all the bad he knew existed in the world. She had everything so carefully planned out in her life and he’d come along and destroyed it, like he had done with every other Tracker. No matter if they admitted it or not, no matter if they protested toward the contrary, Ash knew he had ruined their lives.

  “I am not like Chance. I don’t see a need to worry you with information that may or may not be vital.” Ash threw himself onto his bed putting his feet up on top of one another. He placed his hands behind his head and rested gently on them. “Believe me once your abilities surface the last thing you’ll want to do is be given mountains of unnecessary information.”

  Without an invitation Katharine placed herself on the bottom of the bed just below where Ash’s feet fell. She hung her legs off the edge allowing them to quietly dangle.

  “I’m a lot stronger than you think. Next time there’s information you think I can’t handle, think again,” Katharine said growing tired of his habit of hiding things from her. “Were you like this with all of your Trackers or am I the only one lucky enough to get the baby treatment?”

  “I’m your Guide and therefore I am burdened with keeping you protected and safe. It is my job to keep things from you if I see fit. I’m sorry if you find this to be unfair but in the end if it keeps you alive then I guess I’ll just have to deal with you being angry with me.” He sat up and turned his back to her. He slid off the bed and over to the open window that was facing the east garden.

  Katharine couldn’t blame him for being frustrated with her. Stubborn and hardheaded, she always found a way to question him in ways no one else ever had. Her strength was part of what drew Ash to her, but he knew her strength and stubborn nature put her at greater risk of failure.

  The clusters of flowers began to blow with the warm evening breeze that blew in scents of freshly cooked pies that had been recently removed from an oven. Katharine breathed in the familiar scent and allowed her mind to drift.

  The smell of the breeze reminded her of her first Thanksgiving sans Aunt Mary. The entire family gathered at Aunt Mary’s Florida apartment to go through her belongings. They decided to forgo the traditional Thanksgiving dinner that year because it simply wasn’t the same without Aunt Mary.

  Marion however, had decided to make her sister’s famous Apple Pie, using the recipe that Mary had given
to her a few years earlier. After Aunt Mary died, the holidays, especially Thanksgiving, never seemed quite as special or exciting anymore.

  Katharine jumped off the bed forcefully so her feet would make a sound as they hit the wood flooring. “I didn’t come here to pick a fight. I wanted to make sure you were okay, but I can see now that I’ve outworn my welcome.”

  Slowly she headed for the door expecting Ash to stop her and apologize for his less than friendly behavior, but he didn’t. Instead he remained at the window lost in his own head and pushed further away by Katharine’s own stubbornness.

  She’d once again made a bad situation worse and seemed to be getting very good at keeping him at arm’s length. What are you so afraid of?

  9

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY

  March 15th had arrived, Katharine’s 18th birthday, a day she once couldn’t wait for. She and Molli used to have a countdown to Katharine’s 18th birthday because it meant they could finally take the road trip they had been planning since they were ten-years-old. Her birthdays used to be weeklong celebrations but this birthday was different. This was one she no longer felt the need to celebrate. She had been so caught up in preparing for her transition she had almost forgotten that she had always made a production out of her birthday.

  “Wake up birthday girl!” Molli said poking her head into Katharine’s rustic sleeping quarters. The rosewood colored door squeaked open as Molli’s head pushed it open gently. The day felt like any other day but there was a different smell in the air that morning.

  Each morning Katharine had been at the Anchorage she had woken up to the smell of cinnamon and sugar as the morning breeze flew through the open bay window with the red velvet curtains. The scent reminded her of Christmas morning and her mom standing in the kitchen attempting to cook, something she didn’t do very often because the food would end up coming out badly burned. However, her cinnamon pancakes on Christmas morning always came out cooked to perfection. It was always like some kind of Christmas miracle.

  The morning of her 18th birthday however, the scent that came in with the morning breeze was a combination of burning flesh and wild flowers. She scrunched up her face disgusted by the monstrous smell.

  Molli threw herself onto the foot of Katharine’s bed and bounced lightly to force her friend out of bed, a tradition they had keep each and every year. Molli would always sneak in the Mackelmore’s home and jump on Katharine’s bed the morning of her birthday; it was an easy thing to do as the girls lived on the same block.

  “Is something burning?” Katharine pulled the blankets back and lowered her legs over the side of the bed. She sat for a few moments allowing her eyes time to adjust to being open. She stretched widely like a cat before slipping her feet into the white rabbit fur slippers at her bedside.

  “Burning? No,” Molli continued bouncing as Katharine went to her wardrobe and picked out a sheer pink robe to wrap herself in. The soft fabric felt comforting against her skin. She pulled the material up to her nose and inhaled deeply. It smelled like freshly picked daisies, a welcomed change from the burning flesh that had welcomed her nose that morning. “I can’t believe it, we have been talking about being 18 for what seems like forever and now you’re finally there.”

  “I’m not exactly inclined to be celebrating today.” Despite all the preparation she had been doing with Chance for her transition she still wasn’t ready to bear such a heavy load.

  Molli crawled to the edge of the bed and allowed her feet to dangle. She swung them back and forth the way a child would as they sat on a chair that was just too high for their little legs to reach the ground. She looked so alive and full of joy that Katharine almost forgot that when she left the Anchorage and went back to her world, Molli would not follow.

  “You know, Ash was asking about you last night,” Molli said in the same manner, as she would have while nudging Katharine with her elbow encouragingly.

  This was a familiar statement. She couldn’t count the many times that Molli had approached her about some guy asking about her.

  Despite her beauty Katharine was always confused and surprised by the attention she received from the opposite sex. She never considered herself desirable. She was boring. She didn’t go to parties, she didn’t drink nor would she ever even consider doing drugs and she was a virgin. She had none of the attributes that the boys in Meadowbrook often looked for and yet they always seemed to pursue her anyway.

  Without understanding why, the idea of Ash inquiring about her still made Katharine’s stomach flip. “Why, does he have anything else important he forgot to mention?”

  “You have got to get over this Kat,” Molli rolled her eyes.

  Molli was right, but Katharine had never been one to easily forgive even if the person in question ran through her mind a hundred times a day. She was still stung by his behavior a few days earlier; although she knew it was almost entirely her own doing. Still her pride clouded her judgment and she remained bitter.

  In almost a month she had seen Ash every single day and she had grown accustomed to seeing his face, accustomed to his witty banter and accustomed to feeling idolized each time he looked at her. It was a strange feeling for Katharine to miss him the way that she had been.

  She flipped out pieces of her hair that had gotten tangled underneath the collar of the robe and shook her hair to make sure every strand was free. Pieces of hair brushed her face tickling her nose. The wind blew a gust of the same horrid scent of burning flesh throughout the room. Katharine began coughing and gagging from the stench.

  “Are you sure nothing is burning?” Katharine inquired again as the fresh smell from the robe left her nose and the burning flesh returned.

  “I am sure. What are you pregnant or something?” Molli joked, a bit of comedy that Katharine did not find amusing. Nor did Chance who had been lingering in the doorway.

  “Its part of the process,” Chance said, altering the girls to his presence before inviting himself to join their two-woman party. “You smell burning flesh because that is what the Descended smell like and the wild flowers are simply there as a balance, much like the balance between the Descended and those who still serve Heaven.”

  “Wonderful, I always wanted to wake up and smell burning flesh,” Katharine said sarcastically.

  Chance was in no joking mood that morning. It was a serious day and one he expected Katharine to take as such.

  “Perhaps if you had spent more time listening to me when I spoke and less time focusing your attention on your Guide, you would have heard me when I explained that their scent is the first thing you will be given.” Chance opened Katharine’s bureau and pulled out a sheer white satin dress with pink embroidery. “I find it disheartening that both you and Ash disobeyed my only request that you remain apart until you had completed your process. I am trying to prepare you for what you are not yet ready for. This is not a game; if you’re not prepared well then not even I can help you.” He placed the dress on the pillows that sat at the head of Katharine’s bed,

  “put this on and meet me in the east garden.”

  Before leaving Katharine to change Chance motioned for Molli to follow him. Reluctantly she obeyed leaving Katharine alone with her thoughts.

  She pulled the soft robe down her shoulders and allowed it to drop at her feet followed by the satin nightgown she had been wearing. She stood naked and alone unsure of what the day would bring her and she couldn’t understand why as she stood there naked and vulnerable Ash entered her mind.

  The Tracker wondered how he had been doing all this time and if he thought about her. Stop it! She shook the uncertainty off and slipped into the dress that Chance had picked out for her. It was light and simple, exactly the type of dress she would have chosen for herself. The dress was a bit too large for her allowing the straps to slip off her shoulders.

  As the dress fell into place a few inches above her knees a flash of panic rushed over her. She was not getting dressed to celebrate another year older, she was
getting dressed to become the Tracker that all of Heaven was relying on to end their war. No pressure Kat just the entire world riding on your shoulders.

  She fell back onto the bed bouncing softly as she landed. Her mind was racing far too fast for her to formulate a single recognizable thought, except one…Ash. Amidst all the clutter in her mind Ash’s face somehow came through as a clear and solid image; he was her only clarity.

  “Katharine?” Almost on cue Ash came knocking on Katharine’s door. “May I come in?”

  He was fully prepared to have the door slammed in his face forcefully but to both his and Katharine’s surprise she nodded an open invitation.

  Katharine sat on the edge of the bed watching as Ash settled into a spot on the wall tucked in between the door and the wooden boudoir. He was dressed in the same outfit he’d been in the night she met him. Sheer black slacks that were far too tight for his muscular legs, a white button down shirt whose buttons looked like they’d lost a fight with a scissor allowing for his chest to be exposed ever so slightly, a look Katharine couldn’t help but be drawn too; all completed by black boots that reminded Katharine of the lead singer of a rock band she once worshiped in middle school.

  She’d never seen him look so afraid; it made her giggle. Ash, the son of Heaven’s royal family, the brave warrior of Heaven who fought evils that Katharine couldn’t even begin to imagine, wore the face of a frightened young boy in the presence of an angry girl.

  “Don’t look so afraid, I don’t bite,” Katharine teased.

  After their run in two days earlier, Katharine remained angered by his behavior and his betrayal and she pictured slapping him clear across the face, once across the right cheek and once more against the left to even things out. However, in that moment with him standing in her room looking at her with those eyes that said so much even when he said nothing at all, she couldn’t feel anything but relief that he was standing there. Her legs shook as he slinked toward her.