Once You'Ve Touched the Heart

by Iris Bolling

  God, JD prayed, please help me to release this woman. He held her a moment longer than he should have, but he couldn’t just let go. Her touch made his heart pound so loud, she had to feel it. He brushed her hair back from her face as he lifted her head from his shoulder, and looked into her eyes. What he was feeling at that moment was more than just comfort. He wanted to kiss her and knew it would be returned with no hesitation from her, but he couldn’t; he made that mistake before.

  JD knew Calvin was right. Tracy had been through too much in her life for him to play games with her. He had to be sure of his feelings before getting her involved. But damn, it feels so good holding her right now. He ran his hands down her arms and stepped back, still holding her hands.

  “Tracy.” JD didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to tell her what he was feeling. “There is something about you that scares the hell out of me.”

  Puzzled, Tracy swallowed. “I’m not sure how or why, but I don’t mean to.” She stepped back.

  JD smiled. “I have to go now. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Tracy stood there. She really wanted to kiss that man. Then Cynthia and Ashley’s words went through her mind. Remember your place.

  “Okay,” Tracy managed to say, and, “Thank you for everything.”

  JD opened the door and walked out. Tracy fell back into her chair and realized she had been holding her breath. She released air out again and again and again until she felt she had some kind of control of herself. How can one man’s touch affect her so deeply? Everything in her was screaming. She laid her head on her desk. God, please help me; please help me with this man.

  ♥

  It took all the willpower JD had not to kiss Tracy. He exhaled and knocked on Ashley’s door.

  “Hey,” he said as he walked in, sat on her couch and put his feet up. He needed a moment to compose himself. “Have you ever felt like you’re in a nightmare and if you could just find the right door to open, you’d wake up and everything would be all right? No, not just all right, but as it should be.”

  “No,” Ashley answered, and then cut to the chase. “But I know Tracy is at a crossroad in her life and she is going to need to reach out to someone. The question is who: you, Brooks or someone else?”

  JD sat straight up. “Brooks! He is too old for her. He’s got to be hitting 40.”

  Ashley laughed and shook her head. “Actually 35, not much older than you, and don’t let James fool you. He’s a charming man and very intelligent. Just Tracy’s type. Hell, Brooks could charm my drawers off.”

  JD’s eyebrows went up. “Ash, you got a thing for Brooks?”

  Ignoring his question, she asked, “Did you think you were the only one that was attracted to Tracy? Hmm, my conceited big brother.” She shook her head.

  JD stood up and walked towards Ashley. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “And I’m not going to. JD, Tracy is a very lonely person. Hell, sometimes I think she likes it that way; no chance of getting hurt. But she has so much love in her. I can tell you this: whoever is lucky enough to get her will have love for the rest of his life. Once Tracy commits to something or someone, that’s it, door closed.”

  “I have to clean up some things before starting anything with Tracy, Ashley,” JD said with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the floor as if the answer to his dilemma was down there. “I know what you are saying is true. But honestly I don’t know where I am with Tracy. I can tell you there is something in here,” he said, pointing to his heart, “for her. It has been for awhile, but I don’t know what it is. I’m not going to take a chance on hurting her while I’m trying to sort out my feelings. But I know I have to do something, so I started with Carolyn.”

  “What did you do with her?”

  “I talked to her last night. I told her I had feelings for someone else.” Smiling, JD continued, “It actually went better than I thought. As a matter of fact, her reaction surprised me.”

  “JD, be careful. Carolyn is very vindictive. Did you tell her who Tracy was?”

  “No.”

  “Thank goodness. You know you men do stupid things when you’re getting some.”

  “I’m not that stupid. I know Carolyn very well. That’s why I can’t be with Tracy yet. I don’t want Carolyn to go after her and I know she will try.”

  “So how are you going to stop her?”

  “By getting her mind on exactly what she wants.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “The governor’s mansion.” JD sighed. “I’ve never worked for a woman. They were always there.”

  “Well, this is not just any woman for you, JD.”

  “I know.” He shook his head. “I don’t have the slightest idea when it happened.”

  Ashley laughed. “Spring break a few years ago.”

  “You’re right.” He heaved a sigh. “I don’t want to make a mistake with Tracy. I don’t want anything that I’ve done in the past to interfere with our future. When did life get to be so damn complicated?”

  “Life and love have always been complicated. Shit, you know that.”

  He looked at his sister and wondered when she grew up. “When did you get so smart about life and when did your mouth get so nasty?” JD leaned across Ashley’s desk.

  “Well, life I learned from mom and the mouth I got from you.”

  “I love you, lil sis.”

  “I love you too, JD.”

  He kissed her forehead.

  “By the way, what did you need to talk to me about, other than Tracy?”

  “Oh, yeah, Mom wants me to give you a birthday celebration so I will be having lunch with Cynthia today to work out the details.”

  “Okay. Nothing fancy, and make sure you invite James Brooks.”

  JD raised an eyebrow. “Okay.”

  “JD, Tracy is going to be an uphill battle. First you will have to convince her she is worthy. Then you have to protect her from Carolyn’s wrath. But I got your back,” Ashley said as she hugged him.

  ♥

  JD entered his office around 11:00 a.m. He retrieved his messages and cookies from Mrs. Langston and was sitting at his desk when Gavin knocked on the door. “JD, it’s nice of you to join us today, or are you still out?”

  “Sorry, Gavin, I had to take care of something this morning. Did you need me?”

  “Yes, I got a call from the AG’s office. They want you to handle the Gonzalez case.”

  “The 13-year old who was killed?” JD asked.

  “That’s the one.”

  “Why federal?”

  Gavin put the file on JD’s desk. “RICO—gang related death. They want the gang brought down, and since you brought down Day so easily, they believe you could lead this one also.”

  JD heard the mockery in Gavin’s voice. “If you have an issue with this, Gavin, you can assign it to someone else. I won’t challenge that decision.”

  Gavin looked at JD. He respected JD’s work and knew he was good. “No, the fact of the matter is, if anyone can bring them down, it’s you. I know that.”

  “Is the Day issue behind us, Gavin, or will I hear about it again?” JD asked, giving Gavin one of those 'let that shit go’ looks.

  Gavin put his hands in his pockets. “It’s done. Who will you need on this case?”

  “Give me a minute to review the file. My mind is not there right now.” JD sighed

  “I can see that—personal or professional?”

  JD looked at him.

  “Look, regardless of what info you got from the Day case, I’m still the same person I was last week. If you need to talk, I’m here.”

  JD didn’t say anything, so Gavin began to walk out.

  “Gavin, are you going to take a run at the AG’s office?”

  Gavin hesitated. “I’m considering the governor’s office. Why?”

  “You plan on taking Carolyn with you?”

  Gavin put his head down and smiled. “You know about that?”

  “I
know Carolyn. She only steps out when it benefits her.”

  “You pissed?” Gavin asked.

  “No, I’m done with that. It wasn’t serious, at least not for me. What about you, Gavin?”

  “She could be very useful in a political campaign, ” he said, smiling.

  “Yes, she could, but more importantly, she could win one by her sheer talents alone.” JD smiled, remembering the last time they were together.

  “My Lord could she,” Gavin replied remembering last night.

  Satisfied he had laid the foundation with Gavin, JD picked up the Gonzalez file. “I’ll get on this case and let you know what I need.”

  “Whatever you need, you’ll get,” Gavin said and walked out.

  JD put the file on the desk, walked over to the window as his mind went back to Tracy. He knew what he felt for her was real. Holding her today was as natural to him as breathing. Nothing in his life had ever felt so right. He looked up to the sky. “God, help me with this woman.”

  Chapter 8

  James called Tracy and asked for a lunch meeting. He promised it was business that he did not want to discuss at the office. They agreed to meet at The Croaker Spot, a restaurant on historical Second Street in downtown Richmond.

  “Hello, James,” Tracy said as he stood at the table to greet her.

  “You look wonderful.” He smiled.

  “Thank you,” Tracy replied. “So what’s going on in the office?”

  “Unfortunately, my management team is not pushing the reform to the employees as we had asked. We have to find a way to get the employees on board without using the management team.”

  The waitress came to the table. They placed their order and she left.

  “Is it everyone on your management team?”

  “No, just one or two of them,” James replied.

  “Well, the best way to go around them is for you to go directly to the employees.”

  “That would take a while. We have eight hundred employees across the state.”

  “All right, then bring the employees to you. Have an event announcing the incentives. Once you get them there, the incentives will sell themselves.”

  “I agree with that, but how do we get the employees there? Their trust level of management is unbelievably low.”

  The waitress returned with the food.

  “Thank you,” Tracy said to the waitress, then turned back to Brooks. “Give them free lunch. Have a luncheon for all employees, with you serving them. While they are there, have Ashley do a presentation. Since all employees can’t be there all at once, have the lunches in shifts.”

  Tracy said grace, bit into her sandwich and continued. “During each lunch shift, have a drawing for a hundred dollars to go towards the winner’s incentive package. If you foot the bill for the luncheon, Next Level Consulting will put up the door prize money.” Tracy started eating her fries. “You know what? I have the perfect company to handle the event. It’s a new company that we just took on as a client. As a matter of fact, you met the owners the other night.”

  “At your office?”

  “Yes, that’s why they came by, for a business plan.”

  James raised an eyebrow.

  Tracy smiled. “I know, they may seem a little wild, but they are really good. Cynthia planned every event there was at college. If Ashley, Cynthia and Rosaline were not involved in an event, it was not worth going to.”

  “So I heard,” James said. “One of the members on the management team remembers Ashley from college.”

  “Really? Which one?”

  “Karen Holt, my assistant commissioner.”

  “I don’t remember a Karen Holt at Harmon.”

  “I don’t think she went there,” James said. “I think her husband did.”

  Tracy stopped eating. “David Holt?”

  “Yes, is that an issue?” James asked, noticing Tracy’s expression.

  “No, it shouldn’t be,” Tracy said with a little hesitation.

  James smiled. “Well, we have been here all of 20 minutes and you have found a solution to a problem that I have been thinking about for days. How in the hell do you do that?”

  Tracy sighed. “It just comes to me, and I have no idea where it comes from. Ashley says I freak her out with that.”

  “Speaking of Ashley, there’s her brother.” James stood then extended his hand. “Hello, Mr. Harrison, how are you?”

  “I’m fine, thank you,” JD replied. “Hello, Tracy.”

  “Hello, Jeffrey.” Tracy tried to smile but it didn’t work. Tracy’s heart sank when she saw the woman Jeffrey was with. She grabbed Jeffrey’s arm possessively while he was still looking at Tracy. James noticed how uncomfortable Tracy had become.

  “Hello, Carolyn,” James spoke.

  “Hello, James,” Carolyn said as she kissed his cheek. “It’s good to see you again. It’s been a while.”

  “You two know each other?” JD asked.

  “Yes, Mr. Brooks and I have met before.”

  JD continued. “This is Tracy Washington. Tracy, this is Carolyn Roth.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Tracy responded while extending her hand.

  Carolyn noticed the change in JD’s demeanor the moment they approached the table. “Tracy, it’s nice to meet you also,” Carolyn replied. “Now how do you two know each other?”

  JD hesitated.

  “I’m Ashley’s business partner,” Tracy replied.

  “Your sister, Ashley?” Carolyn looked to JD for clarification.

  “Yes.” JD smiled.

  Carolyn loved it when other women checked her out. She could tell Tracy was doing just that, checking her out from head to toe. Carolyn was doing exactly the same thing. This cannot be the woman JD is interested in. This person is not even close to his type. She seems plain, ordinary, compared to me?.

  Tracy felt like a rag doll, looking at the woman with Jeffrey. She was simply beautiful, graceful and confident. All the things Tracy was not. That’s the kind of woman Jeffrey is supposed to have on his arm. Even Cynthia would have to agree to that. Tracy turned away from the couple.

  “How are you, Tracy?” JD asked.

  “I’m doing well, thank you.”

  “It was good seeing you. Enjoy your lunch,” JD stated and walked away.

  James sat back down. He watched Tracy for a moment. That free thinking spirit that was there minutes ago was gone. “So” he started, “that’s why you are not available?”

  “What’s that?” Tracy asked.

  “Harrison,” James said as he took a drink.

  Tracy laughed. “No, I’m not in that league.”

  “You’re right. Believe me, you are far above Carolyn.”

  Tracy smiled and looked at Carolyn again. “I don’t think so.”

  James wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Oh, she is a beautiful woman, but it’s not always about what’s on the outside.”

  “Of course it is.” Tracy smirked. “Any man who says it’s not, is not being honest with himself.”

  “Is that so?” James exhaled.

  “Sure.”

  “I disagree,” James replied. “What’s on the inside is very important. I don’t care what a woman looks like. If she can’t carry an intelligent conversation, all you have is a shell with no substance. And the shell diminishes with time.”

  “It’s rare for a man to think that way. Usually the body is the first thing a man looks at.”

  “Oh, and women don’t look at a man’s body or bank account?”

  “It’s not important.” Tracy shook her head. “Like you said, the body and looks will go. And I have my own bank account.”

  “Like you said, it’s rare, especially for a woman, to think that way,” James responded.

  Tracy looked at her watch. “You know, I need to get back to the office. I will contact Cynthia about the event and give you a call on their availability.”

  James could tell seeing Harrison with Carolyn Roth was unsettling for T
racy. At least he knew who he was up against. “All right, I’ll give you a call a little later,” he replied. “Thank you for the solution. I think it will work.”

  She smiled and extended her hand. “It will work; I’ll make sure it does. I’ll talk to you later.”

  James watched her as she left.

  JD watched until Tracy was gone, wondering what in the hell she was doing with Brooks.

  “So,” Carolyn said while pretending to look at the menu, “that’s the person who took your attention from me.”

  JD never acknowledged Carolyn’s statement one way or another. “How’s things with Gavin?” he asked and changed the conversation.

  JD went back to the office and waited on Calvin to review the Gonzalez file. His mind went to Tracy and James Brooks. He wasn’t used to competing for a woman’s attention; he’d always had it. He could not imagine Tracy with any man but him. But James Brooks concerned him. From all accounts, Brooks was a decent, respectable man. Then JD remembered her reaction to Brooks the morning he was there; the interest was there on Tracy’s part. He exhaled. Now he questioned Tracy’s feelings for him. There was no way he could be wrong about her reaction to him. But then again, this woman confused him like no other. He thought back to the morning in her office. He had to step back from her; she never stepped back from him. He remembered the puzzled look she had when he did. She’d had the same look at the club a few years ago.

  “No,” JD said aloud to himself, “there’s no way she would choose him over me.” He had to believe that.

  “No, what?” A voice came from behind him.

  JD turned and it was Calvin. “Hey, Calvin. You ready to go over this case?”

  “Sure, as soon as you tell me why you are talking to yourself.”

  JD walked over and closed the door. “I don’t know why I’m concerned about this,” he said, “but one of your revelations regarding Tracy turned out to be real.”

  “What revelation?”

  “The one about someone else being interested in her.”

  “Please tell me you are not surprised by that?” Calvin said, laughing at him.