Always on My Mind (The Dawson Brothers, #1)

by Jessica Mills

  “I know. It’s just going to be a hard talk to have. I think Ted was about to go there earlier, and I didn’t want anyone to have to witness that one.” I thought of my dad going off. What Sarah had seen had been nothing. I opened my bathroom door and turned on the shower as she stripped off her filthy clothes. My cock hardened immediately seeing her tight breasts pushing taut against her delicate lace bra.

  “Want to join me?” she purred near my ear and made it twitch.

  “I want to, but with Dad here, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I pulled her into my arms and then she broke away, stripping off the last of her clothes and turning to step under the stream.

  I winced seeing the bruise that had already formed on her back from the wagon and wished I’d killed the damned snake for making her fall. “You’re bruised; are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

  “I’m fine. Go take care of business and I’ll have your lunch ready as soon as I get cleaned up.” I took one last peek at her sweet bare ass and went back outside.

  I walked out on the porch and saw that Ted had Lauralee pinned under the big Magnolia out front. She didn’t seem too pleased, but I knew if she wanted to get away from him, she could. I headed out to the barn to find Daddy, knowing we’d have to have a long talk soon. Our futures depended on it.

  Chapter 24

  Sarah

  I washed the egg and smashed produce from my body and winced as the shower spray pledged against my flesh. I was such an idiot, but at least I’d learned a thing or two. I’d never forget what a garter snake looked like and I’d remember to keep the wagon at a safe distance. While drying off I checked in the mirror for the bruise on my back and it was a nasty one. Luckily it looked worse than it felt, so I finished toweling off, put on some clean clothes, and hurried down to the kitchen.

  I was just checking the roast I’d put on before heading out to the garden when Mr. Dawson came inside with David following. The two seemed awfully quiet and while his dad had his back to us I mouthed silently to him. “Did you talk?” David shook his head and gave me a helpless smile. I hated the way their dad made them feel. They were grown ass men and all terrified of their dad.

  It was ridiculous that they couldn’t have cell phones and didn’t own a computer just because he took issue with it. If David was to go out on the road, he’d need a cell phone, not to mention running a business without one these days was just silly. I could understand him being upset by the tower the Langston’s won over him, but to just ban computers solely on Internet capability was silly. He could have at least kept his books with one, without the Internet, but I guessed the man didn’t know a thing about them to know that.

  Mr. Dawson coughed and fought hard to clear his throat. I hated to see him that way, and wondered why he didn’t just go lay down. He had enough time for a nap before I would have all of the vegetables ready for lunch. “Mr. Dawson, why don’t you go up and lay down. I’ll wake you when it’s time to eat.” My smile faded as David glared at me.

  “Why would I sleep in the middle of the damned day?” He shook his head and poured a glass of tea.

  I turned from the stove with my hand on my hip. “Because you’re sick and you need your rest.” I forced a smile, not wanting to tangle with the old man.

  Mr. Dawson cleared his throat and then took a sip of his tea. He cut me a glance and smirked. “Are you a doctor?”

  “Daddy, she’s just trying to help.” David waved a dismissive hand my way. “Dad doesn’t take naps. Too much work to do.”

  I hated the way David defended him. The man was sick and needed his rest. “Well, if he ends up in the hospital with pneumonia, he won’t be able to work at all and then what use will he be?”

  “You’re a busy little lady aren’t you?” Mr. Dawson set his glass down on the counter.

  “I just care, sir. But I’m sure you know what’s best.” I turned back to the stove as he huffed.

  “What have you got on your mind?” I glanced back to see he was talking to David who looked like he wasn’t sure where to start. I wanted to help him out, but I figured I hadn’t helped things with my polite suggestions so I kept my mouth shut as he answered.

  “Well, I guess I may as well come out with it. It isn’t like your mood is going to improve anytime in the next year.”

  “Why don’t you stop your passive aggressive bullshit and just tell me what’s on your mind.” I couldn’t help but giggle and I tried hard to hold it in. “Your girlfriend seems amused.”

  “I know you were upset by us organizing and cleaning the office and I know how you’re against the Internet and computers, but in order to take our business into the future, we need to step into the proper decade. Not to mention, each of us having a cell phone would make it much easier for you to reach us when we’re away. Like last night for instance. If we’d had cell phones, you could have reached any one of us.”

  “So now you’re talking about leaving again? I guess that’s why Little Miss Fancy Pants over at the stove is here. She’s going to make you into a big star and take you all over the world, I suppose.”

  I’d heard just about enough. “Excuse me? Your son is very talented and if you’d take the time to realize that, you’d know why he wants the chance to choose his own future.” My jaw dropped when he stood and walked away without a response. David sat frozen, his jaw slacked, as he stared toward the door. I wished he would look at me, and I wished I hadn’t lashed out that way. I was in his home after all and I knew I shouldn’t have interfered.

  I sat down next to him. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s all true, but I think he’d have taken it better coming from me.” His voice was tinged with laughter and he patted me on the back as Luke poked his head in the door to see if lunch was ready.

  “It’ll be a bit longer.” I gave a sympathetic smile.

  “I’m sure it will be worth the wait if it’s as good as it smells.” He let his eyes linger on his brother and his brows pinched together. “What on earth is wrong with you?”

  I held up my hand. “It’s my fault. I overstepped my boundaries.”

  “She put Dad in his place.” David chuckled.

  Luke’s brows rose. “No way, and I missed it?”

  “Missed what?” asked Ted pushing his way past Luke.

  “Sarah told Dad off,” Luke responded.

  Ted didn’t seem fazed. “Nice job. Is it time to eat?”

  *

  Things were quiet through the meal with Mr. Dawson staying upstairs. I felt terrible that I’d overstepped but I hated to see anyone mistreat David, especially when it came to his talent. I had every bit of faith in his abilities and I knew that if I could just help him through this tough time, I could get him to Nashville, get him signed, and he could live his dreams. But his dad discouraging that wasn’t making it any better.

  I finished cleaning the kitchen while the brothers went out to continue their work day. And to my surprise Mr. Dawson came down and fixed himself a plate of leftovers and stood at the counter to eat them. He remained quiet while I finished up the dishes and I could feel him at my back even though he was across the room, as if his presence was bearing down on me. I knew that was the guilt of being so short with him earlier, so I decided remaining quiet was my best option.

  As I wiped the counters down, he turned and faced me. “Do you really think my son has a real chance out there?”

  His question surprised me, but I continued working my rag as I responded. “Yes, I do. He’s that good. Good enough to be a big star.”

  “I guess that’s always been my problem. I hate to see him waste time chasing dreams that won’t amount to anything. What if he tries and fails?”

  “You know, I think David thinks that you don’t want him to dream at all, but it sounds to me like you just don’t want him to dream and fail. Is that it? You don’t want him to get hurt?”

  The old man lifted a shoulder and shifted his food around with his fork. “No father ever wants their children t
o get hurt. I guess I feel that if he were to go off and leave his brothers with the burden of the ranch, only to fail and have to come back home, then there’s no use in leaving in the first place.”

  “Have you ever considered a scenario where your son succeeds?” I closed the distance between us and leaned against the counter next to him. “Of course, just starting out will be rough, but once he gets used to the travel, and I keep him lined out on a schedule, he’ll be able to come home. He could even live here if he wants. The possibilities are endless out there. But here, there’s only one path. Do you want to hold him back to that one path when the whole world is in his reach?”

  Mr. Dawson let out a long breath and then looked down to his plate. “You know, this is some good roast. You really surprise me, young lady.” He took another bite of his food and nodded. “I can see you care about my boy, too. My family. You also, make a lot of sense. I’ve been holding us all back for far too long. If I were to give David my blessing, how soon would he have to leave?”

  I figured I may as well lay it all out on the line with the old man, since he was opening up to me. “Well, I haven’t told him, yet, but my boss, who’s pretty demanding, has given me two weeks to bring him in.” The weight of that secret was lifted the moment I spoke it and it was nice. “I know it’s a bad time for you all, so I haven’t wanted to push him.”

  Mr. Dawson’s eyes widened, regarding me like I was up a creek without a paddle. “What are you going to do if he’s not ready to go by then?” He cleared his throat as if fighting his cough.

  I closed my eyes for a moment, finally allowing myself to come to terms with what would happen if I didn’t get him to Nashville on time. “I’m going to lose my job.” I choked up and my eyes ringed red and because I didn’t want him to see me that way, I turned my face away.

  “Now don’t go crying on me.” Mr. Dawson’s hand landed on my shoulder and I choked back my emotions. “If you’re willing to lose your job over him, I guess I can give him my blessing.” He let out a long sigh, his shoulders slumping as he relaxed against the counter. “Guess that also means there’s going to have to be some big changes around here, dammit.”

  “I think you’re a very lucky man. You have all of these sons willing to help you. They’re all smart and hard workers, too. They have some good ideas and I don’t think they’d ever fail you.”

  He scratched his stubbly chin. “My son’s the lucky one. You’re a fine young lady, and I know you’ll take care of him. You fought for him. That reminds me of my Helen. She’s a fighter too. You know I have three sisters. They were fiercely protective, so you can imagine how strong she had to be.” Tears filled his eyes and I took his hand into mine.

  It had to be awful not having her home, to have to spend so much time apart after years together. “You get yourself better so you can get back to her. I know it isn’t easy being here without her.”

  “I haven’t spent more than a day away from her in thirty-five years. The last time we spent this much time apart was when we lost our son. I guess that’s another reason I try to keep my boys so close to home.” He turned back to his plate and took another bite. After a moment of chewing he met my eyes. “I’m not used to being away from them either. I like having my family close.”

  David and his brothers were so afraid of this man, and I admit he could be a hard ass, but his heart was as pure as gold. “I will make you a promise, Mr. Dawson. I’ll make sure that I get him back home as often as possible. Maybe he can even build his own home here someday.”

  He pointed his fork at me and winked. “Now that sounds like a plan, especially if you come back with him.”

  Chapter 25

  David

  Things had been quiet around the house with Dad spending most of his time up in his room. He must have decided the cold was more than he could manage and given in to the advice to take it easy and get better. He wasn’t going to be any use to Mama if he stayed sick and I know he didn’t like having to depend on Aunt Patty.

  From the office window I watched Sarah in the garden. She was bent over picking vegetables and now and then I’d see her hesitate as if looking for snakes. I hoped she wouldn’t come across another one, though I noticed she kept her wagon back at a safe distance and the hoe lain across it within reach. She wore a long sundress that blew in the breeze and, with her hair tied back revealing her soft shoulders, she was beautiful. I hardened thinking about how I’d love to take her there. Lean her against the fence post and hike up that skirt.

  “Shit, here he comes.” Ted’s voice jerked me out of my fantasy and I saw Dad coming out of the house headed our way.

  I hadn’t talked to him much since Sarah spoke her peace, and I was hesitant to even mention computers knowing he was going to squash the idea like a bug. I wondered if Ted and I together could manage to convince him or if the topic would just piss him off more.

  Dad entered the office, whistling, and he seemed like he felt much better. His face had more color and the dark circles were missing from under his eyes. “Mornin’ boys.” He took a chair and turned it to face us before sitting. Then he glanced back and forth between the two of us. “So, you boys got something on your mind?”

  Ted and I exchanged a glance and then I shifted nervously in my seat. I hated how the man could still make me feel three years old, and I was almost certain Ted felt the same.

  Ted cleared his throat. “As a matter of fact, we do.” He glanced to me like I was supposed to take over.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and rested my hands behind my head to appear relaxed. “We know how you feel about running the business the way your daddy did it, and that the system was good enough for him and it’s good enough for you, but it isn’t good enough for us.” Dad lifted his chin and looked down his nose as I continued. “If we’re going to take over the ranch and start to handle more of the business as you grow older, then we feel we need to get a couple of computers in here.” He stared blankly. “We also feel like having cell phones would greatly improve things because we’d never be out of touch. It would also save time from going back and forth across the pasture just to give instructions.”

  Ted nodded and turned to meet Dad’s eyes. “Yeah, and you’d be able to contact us easier too when you need us. There might be a time you and Mama can’t get up and come out to find us. You can just call.”

  “So you think this is the best way?” Dad folded his arms across his chest and studied us, his jaw tight; the muscle there twitching.

  I prepared myself for his reaction but so far, he was scaring me more with his lack of reacting. “Yes. There are new programs and several apps that we’d find useful. I know I can learn, though I’m a tad rusty, but Luke and Mason had more advanced classes than I did, and they could show us enough to make it work. We could show you the basics, and it’s not that hard.”

  Dad straightened up in his chair, his chin protruding with pride. “Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking myself on how this place needs to be run and I’ve come to the conclusion that you boys are right.”

  Ted and I exchanged a surprised glance, and waited for the bomb to drop. It couldn’t be this easy.

  “As my oldest son, David, you should be in charge around here when I’m not. You’ve seen the way I run things and I know you can handle it.”

  Ted stiffened beside me. “I know how to run this place too. More than any of the others.” He had always taken offense that I’d one day be in charge because of birthright. He knew I had always wanted to sing instead, and that running the business was not first in my heart like it was in his.

  Dad held up a hand. “You’re absolutely right, Teddy, you do know more than most and you have some good ideas on how to improve things. That’s why I’m putting you in charge of updating things and preparing to take over for me.”

  The two of us sat silent, but Ted’s expression was much happier than mine. I was the oldest, I had been the one to hold things together and line the boys out. I’d covered f
or Ted’s ass when he’d been out all night chasing skirt, and now he was in charge of me? I let the anger build in me as Dad continued.

  “I’m aware that things are changing. With your Mama’s health and me not getting any younger, it’s not fair for me to expect you to take over and still do things my way. So, you have my permission to get your fancy equipment. I’ll even make the budget a generous one, but I don’t want to be trained on that. You can consider this my retirement from office duty. I’ll still work, but I’m not going to take the burden of learning everything again.”

  “So that’s it? You’re done and he’s in charge of me?” I pointed my finger at Ted, just inches from his nose and he didn’t flinch. Instead, a slow smile spread across his lips and I wanted to punch the smug bastard.

  Dad nodded. “Yeah, Ted’s in charge of the business.”

  That was all I needed to hear. I took off out of the office, slamming the door behind me, and headed into the house. Moments later Sarah joined me in the living room.

  I sat on the couch with my guitar in my lap too pissed off to play it.

  “Are you okay?” Her eyes were wide as she crossed the room and sat next to me.

  “Ted’s in charge.” I shook my head and let the words sink in. “Can you believe that I put my entire life on hold, thinking it was my responsibility here as the first born, and Dad puts Ted in charge.”

  Sarah let out a sigh. “Talk to your Daddy.”

  Before I could respond, Dad and Ted came into the house. Dad took a seat in his recliner and Ted stood at the hearth resting his hand against the mantle.

  “I wasn’t done.” He took a deep breath and Sarah slipped her hand into mine.

  “I put your brother in charge for a reason, son. I know I haven’t always been so supportive, but a wise person recently made me see that I need to stop smothering you with my own ideas of a perfect life and let you live your own.” He and Sarah exchanged a smile and she met my eyes as he continued. “I have heard you around here singing. Hell, these walls are thin. I know you have a beautiful singing voice, just like my daddy did. This little lady here says she can help you live your dreams and I’m going to give you my blessing to do it.”