For Love's Sake

by Cynthia Rutledge

  Her laughter surprised him. Though Jay knew he looked awful, no one else in town had seen him. “Because of the way I look?”

  “No,” she said, her smile dimming. “Because of the way I look.”

  “What’s wrong with the way you look?” From where he sat, she looked absolutely lovely. Oh, her simple cotton blouse and jean shorts weren’t going to win any fashion awards, but she’d done something different with her hair—pulling it back in a couple of clips—and her blue eyes were the same shade as the June sky. Her lips were rosy and full and he decided kissing her would be the perfect dessert to a bacon and eggs breakfast.

  “—not like my sister Mary.”

  Jay realized with a start that while he’d been daydreaming, words had been flowing from those delectable lips. “What about your sister?”

  Rachel heaved an exasperated sigh. “Weren’t you listening to a word I said?”

  He thought about telling her he’d been too busy sizing her up to listen, but decided to play it safe. “Are we talking about the Mary Tanner who graduated a year before me?”

  The one he was visualizing had large breasts, mousy brown hair and an irritating laugh.

  “That’s my sister,” Rachel said. “Mary is the pretty one in the family.”

  Although it had to be the same person, average rather than pretty was a word he’d use to describe the girl. But Rachel was speaking in the present tense, so perhaps her sister had been a late bloomer.

  “From what I can remember,” Jay said honestly, “you’re a lot prettier.”

  “That’s sweet of you to say,” Rachel said, “but it’s not necessary.”

  Now she’d lost him completely. He wasn’t being sweet, he was being honest. And he still didn’t understand why she wasn’t jumping all over his offer.

  “I’d be a good pretend boyfriend,” he said. The fact was he’d probably be a better pretend boyfriend than a real one.

  She studied him for a moment, then pushed back her chair and stood. “I’m sure you would. But if I ever have another boyfriend, I want him to be someone who really cares for me, not someone who pretends.”

  Jay digested her words. It appeared she might have inadvertently shared what had gone wrong between her and Tom. Obviously Tom had just been stringing her along and then when she found out what he was doing, she’d broken it off.

  Still, it didn’t explain why Tom was trying so hard to get her back. Unless he’d turned into a guy who only wanted what he couldn’t have. If that was the case, Rachel had been wise to move slowly.

  “So you don’t need anything from me?” Jay asked.

  “I need you to be my friend,” Rachel said.

  “I can do that.” Though he’d never played that role, Jay knew he could pull it off.

  Although he couldn’t recall a single girl who’d been just a friend, growing up he’d had plenty of guy friends and he was a quick study. He could learn to be a good friend because he had the feeling that if he did, this summer might not be nearly as boring as he’d anticipated. Especially if he could convince Rachel that “friendly” kissing was just what the doctor ordered.

  Chapter Five

  Jay’s father returned to the living room and held out a cigar. “Want one?”

  Rachel had already headed home for the evening and Lena had retired to her room, leaving the two men alone. In the short time Jay had been back, he and his father had settled into an evening routine. Jay would read or watch television while his father smoked a cigar and glanced through the newspaper.

  They rarely talked. Henry Nordstrom was a man of few words. Besides, he and Jay had little in common.

  “Do you want one or not?” His father’s brusque tone brought Jay back to the present.

  “No, thanks.” Jay looked up from his book and wondered idly why his father continued to ask. In all the weeks since he’d come home, he hadn’t once said yes.

  “Suit yourself.” Henry shrugged and flicked a match, lighting the thick stogie. He puffed contentedly for several minutes in silence. “Did I mention some of my old army buddies are getting together in Des Moines this weekend?”

  “That should be a good time,” Jay said without any real enthusiasm. He’d never understood the need to mingle with those from the past. Once a part of your life was over, he believed it was best to move on and not look back.

  His dad shifted his gaze from the newspaper and his eyes took on a distant, faraway look. “Mossy is coming all the way from Wisconsin.”

  Jay wasn’t sure who Mossy was but obviously he was a friend. He’d never really thought of his father having friends. It was an interesting concept. Henry had always seemed like such a loner.

  His father brought the cigar to his lips then exhaled a large cloud of smoke. “I need to call and let them know I won’t be there.”

  “You’re not going?” Jay couldn’t keep the surprise from his voice.

  “Crops to get in.” His father flicked a smattering of ashes into a sauce dish he’d confiscated from the china hutch. “They’re talking rain all next week.”

  It was all Jay could do not to groan. When he was growing up, family activities had been scheduled around the weather. A decade later and it sounded as if that hadn’t changed.

  “Rain isn’t in the forecast until Wednesday,” Jay reminded him. “You’ll be back before then.”

  “I’d be home on Sunday,” Henry said. “If I go, that is.”

  “Just hit it extra hard when you get back,” Jay said.

  His father never took a vacation and rarely even took a day off. The man was due some R and R.

  “I might be able to make it work with the planting,” his father grudgingly admitted, “but what about you? And your aunt Lena? I can’t leave you alone with her.”

  Jay’s heart warmed under his father’s concern. When his mother had called, insisting he come home to recuperate, Jay had hesitated. Easter had been painful. His father had treated him as a guest he didn’t know what to do with and Jay had ended up counting the hours until he could return to L.A.

  “I can take care of myself,” Jay said. “And Lena, too. Don’t worry about me.”

  “It’s not you I’m worried about.” Henry placed his cigar in the sauce dish. “It’s your mother. She’d skin me alive if something happened and she found out I’d left you and Lena alone.”

  A twinge of disappointment tugged at Jay, before he reminded himself he’d been crazy to think his father would worry about him.

  “Go,” Jay said with a wave. “I can take care of myself.”

  “You are getting around better—” a thoughtful look crossed his father’s face before he shook his head “—but if you fall, Lena won’t be of much help.”

  “I won’t fall,” Jay said with more confidence than he felt.

  “I don’t know….” His father rubbed his chin with his hand.

  “What if Rachel stayed?” Jay asked, wondering why the solution hadn’t occurred to him before. “Would that make you feel better?”

  His father straightened in his chair. “Would she do that?”

  “She’d do anything I asked.” Even to Jay’s own ears the words sounded cocky and arrogant, but they were said, and he couldn’t take them back.

  Henry’s gaze narrowed. “What do you mean by that crack?”

  The censure in his father’s tone quashed any desire Jay might have had about backing off from the statement.

  “Rachel likes me.” Jay met his father’s gaze, not a hint of apology in his tone.

  “You best remember Rachel Tanner is a God-fearing woman, a teacher, a respected member of our community.” Henry pointed a finger at Jay. “She’s not one of your Los Angeles floozies.”

  Jay stared silently at his father and a sadness he couldn’t control washed over him. His father had never approved of his career choice or his lifestyle. And though he’d been pleasant to Lindsay when they’d met, obviously he hadn’t approved of her, either.

  “I’m not going to ta
ke advantage of Rachel, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jay said. “Though I don’t see where it’s any of your concern.”

  Henry leaned forward, steel in his gaze. “This is my home. And while Rachel is a guest in my home, you’ll treat her with the respect she deserves. Is that understood?”

  Though Jay resented his father’s lecturing tone, he couldn’t help but respect him for standing up for Rachel. Most people Jay knew only cared about themselves.

  “I promise,” Jay said, adopting a conciliatory tone. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”

  Henry’s gaze lingered on his son for a long moment, before he leaned back, seemingly satisfied. “That girl had a hard life, growing up with a father like Frank Tanner. I don’t want to see it made even harder.”

  Jay took a sip of his cola. “Didn’t Frank die in a car accident?”

  Henry nodded and took another leisurely puff on his cigar, blowing little smoke rings in the air. It was as if he were determined to enjoy the experience to the fullest knowing the cigars would be relegated to special occasions once his wife returned. “Darned fool rolled his car on gravel. Always did drive too fast.”

  Something stirred in the back of Jay’s memory. “You two were in school together, weren’t you?”

  Henry nodded. “We were friends through high school, but not so much after.”

  “How come?”

  “Frank went off to college,” Henry said. “I stayed here and farmed, but even when he moved back and started the grocery, it wasn’t the same between us. He’d changed. Or maybe I had.”

  “Sort of like Wayne and I,” Jay said, thinking of how close he and his brother had been as children and how little in common they had now.

  “That’s different,” Henry said. “You and Wayne are family. There will always be that bond between you.”

  Jay stared into the unlit fireplace. “I don’t fit in here.”

  “Stop with that kind of talk,” Henry said in a gruff tone, and only then did Jay realize he’d spoken aloud.

  “What about your get-together?” Jay asked, quickly changing the subject. “Are you going to go or not?”

  “Are you sure Rachel won’t mind staying?”

  “She won’t mind at all.”

  “And I can trust the two of you to keep out of trouble. Right?”

  Jay smiled. “Absolutely.”

  Rachel slid into the chair, relieved when the young minister took the chair adjacent to hers rather than sitting behind the desk. “Thanks for seeing me, Pastor.”

  If Tony Karelli found it odd that Rachel didn’t call him by his first name, he didn’t mention it. “Anytime. That’s what I’m here for.”

  His smile was friendly and Rachel couldn’t help but remember the first time she’d seen him. At the time she’d just moved back to Millville and Tony had been in town less than a month. When she’d run into the handsome stranger on one of the outdoor running trails and he’d gone out of his way to put her at ease, Rachel had wondered if this could be the man of her dreams. Unfortunately, her hopes had been quickly dashed when she’d discovered he was engaged.

  “How is Claire? And the baby?” she asked, realizing she hadn’t yet made it over to the house to see their new family member.

  “Jacob is four weeks old today,” Tony said proudly of his first child. “And Claire is absolutely gaga over him. Of course, she always did have a thing for guys.”

  Rachel laughed and the tension that had gripped her when she’d thought of this meeting eased. “I bet she’s a wonderful mother.”

  “We’re both learning.” Tony smiled ruefully. “And Mrs. Sandy is a gem. She’s already helped us through some rough spots.”

  Mrs. Sandy ran a bed-and-breakfast in Millville and had been Tony’s landlady when he’d first moved to town. She’d quickly become Tony and Claire’s surrogate mother.

  “We all need a little help now and then,” Rachel murmured.

  “You’re exactly right.” Tony reached over and covered her hand with his. “I know you were apprehensive about coming and talking to me but I want you to remember what you just said, because it’s true. We all need help now and then. I’m here for you. And God is here for you, too.”

  Rachel could feel the last of the tension leave her body and she relaxed against the back of the overstuffed leather chair. “I don’t know where to begin.”

  Tony’s brown eyes were warm and his smile encouraging. “Start wherever you want.”

  Thirty minutes later she’d told the Pastor everything about her and Tom’s time together, including the two incidents of physical violence that had caused her to end their relationship. “I really like Tom and given time I could have easily loved him. But I can’t tolerate abuse. And Tom refuses to get help. He just keeps asking me to forgive him.”

  “I wish I’d known you two were having these problems.” Tony’s dark eyes were troubled.

  “I was embarrassed,” Rachel said. “And I felt guilty.”

  Tony raised a dark brow. “Guilty?”

  “That I’d done something to cause him to behave this way,” she said. “He said he’s never lost control like that before.”

  “Rachel, this is his problem, not yours.” Tony leaned forward in his chair, his eyes firm with conviction. “I don’t care if you’d screamed obscenities in his face—there was no excuse for what he did to you.”

  “My father once told me I bring out the worst in a man,” Rachel said.

  “Your father—” Tony started, then appeared to reconsider his words. “Though I never had the pleasure of meeting him, I think your father had some issues of his own to deal with.”

  “So you don’t think I’m wrong to not want to be with Tom anymore?” Rachel had never thought of herself as a woman who needed others to approve her actions, but this thing with Tom had shaken her confidence.

  “Dating is a time to get to know each other,” Tony said. “It’s a time to discover if you’re really meant to be together long-term.”

  “I could never marry someone I feared,” Rachel said. “I don’t want to be afraid of my own husband.”

  Tony opened the Bible to Ephesians and they spent the next half hour talking about what Paul had written regarding marriage and the way it should be between a man and a woman.

  “So you can see,” Tony finished, “that while each partner in the relationship is an individual and has an individual relationship with God, He designed each to function in perfect harmony if they both follow His outline. If either fails to follow His plan, the relationship is not God-centered and likely to fail.”

  Rachel pulled her brows together in thought, trying to process what the minister was saying. “So, you’re saying that because Tom’s actions weren’t in accordance with God’s plan, our relationship wasn’t God-centered even though we both believed in God.”

  “That’s absolutely correct. Until Tom addresses this problem he won’t be a good partner for anyone.” Tony closed his Bible and met her gaze. “I’d like your permission to talk to a couple of my elders about this matter and then I’d like us to approach Tom.”

  “I’m not going back to him,” Rachel said firmly. She remembered all too well being subjected to her father’s irrational tirades. There was no way she was going to live in such an abusive environment again. “It’s over between us.”

  “I’m not advocating you two resume your relationship,” Tony said, “but Tom has a problem that he has to deal with and he needs to get some help.”

  “I’d like to see him get help, too,” Rachel said. “Talk to him. Maybe you can make a difference. For his sake, I hope so.”

  Chapter Six

  “Turning away the ladies from the church auxiliary was downright rude.” Rachel glared at Jay, her hands fisted on her hips.

  “I don’t like people who stop by without calling,” Jay said, not seeming the least bit concerned he’d just refused to see two of the town’s most respected volunteers, “but I do appreciate the cookie
s.”

  A platter of freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies sat on the table and their delicious aroma filled the large country kitchen. When Jay lifted the plastic wrap and grabbed one, Rachel was tempted to slap his hand. If he wouldn’t talk to the ladies, he didn’t deserve to eat their treats.

  Still, it would be a shame to let such perfectly good cookies go to waste, especially when there were starving children in Africa.

  Waste not, want not had always been her mother’s credo.

  Rachel smiled at the thought and moved to the cupboard. She grabbed two glasses and quickly filled them with cold milk.

  Returning to the table, Rachel set one glass on the table in front of Jay then took a seat opposite him. She reached for a cookie and realized while she’d been getting the milk, he’d already helped himself to two more.

  Rachel felt her mood lift at the first bite.

  “You’re not nearly as upset as I thought you’d be,” Jay mused, taking a sip of milk. “I think you don’t like those two any more than I do.”

  After hearing her father bad-mouth other people for years, Rachel had made it a practice to keep her mouth shut unless she had something good to say. She took another bite of the cookie and evaded the question. “I could tell they realized you didn’t want to see them the minute I said you were resting and couldn’t be disturbed.”

  Jay groaned. “Tell me that’s not the reason you gave.”

  “Hey.” Rachel waved a cookie in the air. “You were lying down and you could have been asleep. Not to mention you didn’t want to be disturbed.”

  “I never cared for Mrs. Mitchell,” Jay said. “Or the other one. If you ask me, neither are the charitable type.”

  “They put in a lot of time at the church,” Rachel informed him. “That’s in addition to the hours they volunteer at the schools.”

  “They might do some good,” Jay grudgingly acknowledged, “but they were nosy busybodies back when I was a kid and I bet you ten dollars they haven’t changed one bit.”