Money For Nothing

by Dom Price

  The beauty of this was the art of lying. The more you say, the more you sound like a liar, and the more information you give, the harder it is to get your way.

  So once Laura had worked her magic and got Tim Parkin on the phone, it was time for a headline. Good headlines timed correctly and with the right amount of vagueness, could make for amazing confusion.

  “Hey Tim, how are you doing?” There was no time to wait for a response if Dave was going to get the severity of the point across. Speed and tone made this sound like much more of an issue. “Look, I won’t keep you. I was just looking at our scheduling and obviously Kipto was just filling in for someone else on this project, so we should be able to swap them out next week.”

  The headline was planted. “Key resource lost in Cultural Diversity Project calamity.” Dave knew that Tim couldn’t afford turnover after such early success, especially given that he wouldn’t just have to explain this to his colleague; he’d have to explain it to his wife. What made this more compelling was that Dave had just got off the phone to Jason, who confirmed that the timing was perfect.

  “You must be kidding? He is presenting with my Abebe this afternoon to the Executive on the progress they’ve made. We can’t lose him now. That would be a disaster.”

  “Tough one. Look, I’ve got a few other guys that are really keen to work with you. I’m sure one of them would be a good fit.”

  Having played his hand, it was now time for patience. Any more information would scupper the plan. Tim had to sweat. He had to imagine having to tell his wife and then the Executive. A few seconds passed, and judging by the increased breathing, Tim wasn’t enjoying this game.

  “Look Dave, I’ve got a meeting to get back to. There must be a way we can sort this.”

  Done. Tim had shown a weakness in his hand, and in doing so had basically handed this part of the game over to the insatiable Dave.

  “You know, there is a solution that might actually help you even more. My CEO is a big advocate of all that cultural stuff. Maybe you could let us sit in on the presentation this afternoon, and in return, I’ll let you have Kipto for however long you need him?”

  “Erm, yeah. I suppose. Well why not. Come along at 3pm and you can sit in. Is that it?”

  “Of course that is it Tim. I’m hardly going to hold you over a barrel am I? What kind of person would that make me?”

  A few rhetorical questions to which Dave really didn’t want the answer and he had Tim firmly where he wanted him. One of the best things about knowing the intricate detail of someone else’s grand plan, is that you can search through it and find a pivotal point where you have some influence.

  In planting the slightly untrue seed in Tim’s head that he might lose Kipto, and in turn, lose a large amount of face in his presentation that afternoon, was enough to get Dave the opportunity he needed.

  Had Tim had the benefit of more time or more information, then he’d have realised that a firm specialising in as many areas as CEC Services did, would have a multitude of resources available that were probably as good as Kipto. In Dave’s mind, they were much better. More information would have also given Tim the head space to think clearly and realise that at such an early stage of a project, a change of face wouldn’t be a deal breaker. And more importantly, there were a good few hours until the presentation, so changes could easily have been made.

  What made the fear so compelling for Tim, was the vision of the headline.

  What made it so gratifying for Dave was that the headline had got him some headway. He had a 3pm at Food United Group and the first part of the plan was in place.

  “Laura, come here please.”

  Laura entered the office. She was pumped too.

  Right, there are two tasks, both of equal importance. In the art of sharing, I’ll take one if you take the other. Deal?

  “Yes boss.”

  “OK, I’ll toss the coin so it’s fair.” Dave flipped the coin out of his pocket. “Heads or tails?”

  “Heads.” Laura was clearly excited, which worked for Dave. He knew she was dedicated and assertive when she felt there was something at stake.

  “Heads it is!”

  “Heads I win. Yippee, I won.” Laura was ecstatic. She’d not won anything for years. Dave didn’t have the heart to tell her that she hadn’t won this time.

  “Congratulations. So, your task is to get hold of Bill Hennessey’s Assistant, and convince her that whatever he has got on at 3pm is less important than what we’ve got planned, and then get him to Food United Group for 3pm.”

  Dave hurriedly began packing up his things. “Now then, you’ve got enough to worry about with your task, so I won’t bore you with mine, but I won’t be contactable until just before 3pm, so if Bill or his assistant need any more information, either make it up or be vague. Just make sure he is there, OK?”

  Before Laura could put up a fight, Dave was out of the office and marching down the corridor looking very serious and stressed. Laura was just glad that this was the winning task, and couldn’t begin to imagine how tough it would have been had she landed tails. Relieved, she set about her challenge and picked up the phone.

  Dave sat down, and got comfortable. He had to concentrate to make sure he got this right. Creativity hadn’t always been his strong point, but he was keen to do this by himself. Delegation was a forte of Dave’s, but the attention and precision required here made doing it himself the best option. Plus, he couldn’t think of anyone else he could trust.

  “Here you go Dave. One macchiato and one cranberry muffin. You look busy?”

  “Yeah, putting the final touches to the invites for a surprise party.”

  “Oh very nice. What is the occasion?”

  “Promotion.”

  “Well your friend must be very special to have someone like you organising the party.”

  “Very special. One of a kind. It should be a good party.”

  Dave wasn’t sure where his confidence was coming from, as the hard work was still to be done, but there wasn’t time to question himself. He knew that seizing the opportunity had helped get him where we was today, so there was no time for naval gazing.

  Sipping his coffee and tearing a corner from his muffin, Dave took the glance up to where he hoped his medalling would get him. He was only 100 yards from the doors to CEC Services offices, but he felt comfortably anonymous in his favourite coffee shop.

  “Another coffee please Giuseppe. I’ll need all the inspiration I can get for this.”

  Dave opened his laptop and decided that the procrastination had to end now. 3pm wasn’t far away and he needed to do some research, so he could prepare himself and then prepare Bill.

  Once his wireless connection had kicked in, Dave went straight to work. Clicking on his busy desktop, Google was immediately covering his screen as he asked for the answer to his new most important question.

  Dave said a silent prayer. He didn’t mind asking the internet for help, as it didn’t ask for help in return.

  “What is cultural diversity?”

  Dave surveyed the results, and made a quick note on the napkin.

  “Names you can’t pronounce and events you needn’t attend. Corporate extension of political correctness.”

  ***

  Chapter I knew That Would Happen

  ***

  Bill Hennessey looked charged. Dave wasn’t sure whether that was attributable to his normal state as a high pressure and stressed CEO, or more specifically because he didn’t like being kept in the dark. His stern refusal of Dave’s outstretched hand suggested it was the latter.

  “This better be good young man. My diary is triple booked weeks in advance. And however smart you and that PA of yours think you are, I strongly suggest a large bunch of flowers for my assistant. Now get talking, quickly, otherwise you’ll have more than a couple of black eyes to worry about.”

  The frostiness wasn’t a surprise, but instead of being nervous or intimidated, Dave just found himself in awe of
this giant man that possessed such power in his words and presence in his stature. Good news was that the black eyes had been covered in the first 30 seconds, so that was a relief.

  “I’m sorry Bill. I’ve been knee deep in it all day. I’ll make sure your assistants desk is adequately adorned with a plentiful selection of flowers of the highest calibre.”

  “Young David. Get your nose out of whichever arse it’s up and tell me what the hell I’m doing here.”

  So assertive. Dave had a definite man crush. He stood, speechless, drooling ever so slightly and just gawping into Bill’s penetrating eyes.

  “David...NOW.”

  “Sorry Bill.” Dave hadn’t prepared for this. It was time think on his feet. “Look, I took onboard what you said the other day. We’ve got a meeting here now with Food United Group and a chance to meet their entire Executive, including their new Regional CEO. I know its short notice but I had to pull a few strings to get access. You know what it’s like.”

  The frosty man was thawing. He was hiding his smile, but his face was softening. “Continue.”

  “Well, whilst it is amazing to secure this meeting by itself, and I could have easily handled it myself, you are our CEO and I thought your attendance would add kudos and credibility to whatever they ask us to talk about. The one side effect of negotiating a last minute meeting with people of this level is that you never know what the topic will be, and I couldn’t think of anyone more appropriate to bring along. By virtue of your position at CEC, you were the only candidate sir. And whilst I don’t like to admit it, I didn’t think I could do it without you.”

  Dave looked solemnly down at the floor. It was the only tactic to hide the small grin that nearly gave away his small untruth.

  “Well that has cleared that up. It pretty much confirms that your nose was up my ass.”

  Both men chuckled with a unity that defied the years, inches and honesty that separated them.

  “We should head in. It’s nearly time.”

  “Yeah, let’s talk tactics in the lift. Obviously you know the client better, but with all my experience, it makes sense for me to lead the conversation.”

  “Absolutely sir. I’ll just join in as and when it is appropriate.”

  The final part of the plan was in place. Nothing could go wrong from here. The plan worked with either scenario.

  Dave had never really bothered to listen in Religious Studies at School. He instead viewed it as essential planning time for his next teenage business venture. It was for that reason, and his complete ignorance towards the topic that made him surprised by his own ability to adopt the “Goliath” strategy. Maybe the bible had learnt it from the business world?

  In his sling shot, Dave had 3 hours solid research of Cultural Diversity, and his Goliath was his towering leader. He didn’t want to slay him though. In this modern day re-enactment, the important demonstration was of power, knowledge and presence. In Dave’s head, this experience would show Bill just how powerful Dave was, and move the goal posts back in Dave’s favour. Tactically it was clever. Strategically brilliant. Well those were Dave’s thoughts at least. The fact that he’d managed to keep Bill in the dark gave him a definite edge. Dave didn’t fail from these elevated positions. It just didn’t happen.

  And on the off chance he did, then the only reason would be that Goliath would have put in a hell of a performance to save the day, and a performance of that calibre was sure to impress Food United Group. When Bill had said that he wanted them as a client, Dave had never assumed that he’d do all the work himself.

  ***

  Chapter What Goes Around

  ***

  “WOW”. Both Dave and Bill muttered the same silent word as they entered the room. Neither had seen the plush surroundings of the Food United Group Board Room. The table was big enough to double as a football pitch, and the chairs could comfortably sit an arena full of people. But their admiration wasn’t for the decor.

  Dave turned to Bill to fill him in. “Jason mentioned that the PA’s were good here, but still.”

  There was one that they were both focused on. Her skin was a smooth olive tone and exuded years of care and attention. Absolutely flawless. Her outfit was tight, yet formal. She oozed control and her aura was welcoming. She turned and approached Dave and Bill, before they could make it over to Tim Parkin. “Very efficient. I like it. A PA with initiative...I didn’t think they existed.”

  Bill and Dave shared a chuckle as the lady approached. Dave avoided eye contact. In the seconds it took her to stride towards them, Dave had already decided on his tactic. This woman clearly had beauty on her side and an elegance that defied words, but women had already tried to scupper his plans for promotion once already, and he wasn’t going to let some super-hot steaming goddess put him off this time. This was the last chance saloon, and with 3 hours of research and a carefully planned series of conversations, Dave had got Bill into the room and his fool proof plan was in place. Either he’d impress Food United Group with his new knowledge of Cultural Diversity, or Bill would completely wow them with his on the spot thinking. Either way, the exhibition of sheer confidence and ability would secure Food United Group as a client and in turn, guarantee Dave his promotion. “Focus Dave. Focus. This is your destiny.” Talking to himself had been a recent development but he found it very reassuring, and he was usually right.

  “David?”

  Unbelievable. Not only was she stunning close up with her glistening eyes and sumptuous lips, but the words that passed those very lips would melt the average businessman to a dribbling spectator. Not Dave. “Very efficient though. Very, very efficient, and very impressive” he thought to himself. She knows my name. I like that. One bit of feedback that Dave would have liked to have given was that her frown really wasn’t her best look, but there was no time for distraction.

  “Afternoon love. I’ll get a large macchiato please, and Bill here will have a decaffeinated soy non-fat latte. We’re here for the presentation. Tim’s expecting us. Thanks.”

  Dave attributed her look of confusion to the strange drink concoction that he’d ordered for Bill. To reassert his authority and indicate the end of the first battle, Dave gave the lady a gentle pat on the shoulder as he passed her and in the same movement motioned to Bill to follow. They headed with nonchalance towards the group of aging, grey suited men, all talking in the same tone seemingly about the same topic.

  Dave’s facial recognition software in his head was furiously analysing the men, looking for the new person. The one they had to impress. The one that held the key to his fate. He must be here somewhere.

  “Tim, hi, how are you?” Shaking hands, Dave elected to forgo Tim’s answer in preference for keeping on the front foot. First mover advantage was everything in this game of chess. “This is Bill Hennessey, the CEO of CEC Services. We like to bring our best people to the biggest events.”

  The speed of Dave and his definite delivery meant that Tim was able to hide his confusion. Why on earth was the CEO of CEC Services attending a general chat on Cultural Diversity? The piece of work wasn’t worth that much. Still, Tim took a breath and swapped any confusion for enthusiasm. Wheeling out big hitters like this to his boss would surely go some way to show what a key person he was in the senior management team, which wasn’t all bad. Knowledge by association could work wonders for him.

  Bill seamlessly entered the nearby conversation of a few older gentlemen who were discussing the impact of the economy and interest rates on business. That was Bill’s forte and comfort zone, and Dave was pleased at his display. Effortless and yet very impressive. He wondered if David had been in admiration of Goliath before taking him on.

  “So Tim, how is your day going?” Dave was willing to listen now as he wanted to move quickly from the idle chit chat to discover how the arrival of Ronnie Patel had gone.

  “Yeah, mixed bag really. Some interesting news that I can fill you in on later that doesn’t really affect me so much, but we’re still on to
present about Cultural Diversity, so thanks for sorting out Kipto and for coming along. I really didn’t expect you to bring the big guns, but no complaints.”

  “Come on Tim, it was the least I could do to help. I know a fair bit about the topic, and I know it’s something that Bill can happily talk about. Our workforce is quite diverse too; we’ve pretty much got one of everything.” Dave was so focused; he didn’t see Tim’s stunned face.” We just wanted to exhibit to your entire management team that we are deadly serious about working with Food United Group, and putting our best resources on every engagement. Anyway, haven’t you got some of your own big hitters here today?”

  Dave again glanced around the room. There were no obvious signs of an older Indian man, which he’d searched for in his first pass of the room. Next, he’d just looked for an old man that he didn’t recognise, which narrowed it down to much of the rest of the people in the room. The anticipation of meeting his maker had softened his usual stern face. The excitement of Tim’s answer was almost too much. But on the exterior, whilst his heart raced, his body revealed nothing other than calmness and his usual arrogant confidence.

  “Yeah, Ronnie. The bearer of the interesting news. You’ve met haven’t you?”

  “I don’t believe so Tim, but you know, an introduction wouldn’t go amiss.” Dave immediately followed Tim’s gaze, hoping for an advantage in working out which one Ronnie was. Every second counted in this game. A chance to review Ronnie in the moments leading up to the formal introduction would benefit Dave massively in terms of preparing his patter and directing his deliberate eyes.

  Tim’s eyes softened and a brief child like grin covered his face. It was part embarrassment and part humour.

  “David Derek Marsdon, this is the first time and last time I make you a coffee. Now I suggest you say hello before I get upset.”

  Dave’s brain froze at the exact moment that his legs turned to jelly. Instant paralysis struck most of his body as all emotion, other than fear, left his facial expression. He maintained his position, not out of stubbornness, but lack of control. There were no messages going from his brain to anywhere else in his body. He was motionless, other than his eyes which very quickly noticed that the entire room was watching whatever was unfolding. Dave was great at thinking on his feet, but the words that had just rattled around his ears were so unexpected and debilitating, that his feet had deserted him along with all his other senses.